Transfendio Summossa
by LHisawesome4ever
Summary: A Marauders Era crossover. After Severus blunders a summoning spell the Bleach crew enter the world of magic! Can Hogwarts survive the Marauders, the everlasting rivalries, Espada and Shimigami! Warning: Coarse Language, violence, and dangerously hilarious! (Now, revising previous chapters)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Bleach.

Side Note: italics= thoughts of the character

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Our story begins in the wonderful and mystical school called Hogwarts, in the class of Gertrude Merriweathing, Hogwarts's conjuring and summoning teacher. Mrs. Merriweathing could be described as a squat and round lady that had a stunning resembles to the Pillsbury Doughboy. She was rarely ever strict with any of her students, whether they be a supposedly evil Slytherin or the occasional dim Hufflepuff. Today they were practicing the Transfendio Summossa charm (a.k.a. another confusing Latinish written proper noun) which, allowed wizards/witches to call upon allies in times of need. However, for the first time in 150 years her patience was wearing thin due to two well-known Gryffindors, James Potter and Sirius Black, and the equally infamous Slytherin, Severus Snape.

 _Why isn't this bloody working!?_ Was all our favorite potion wiz could think as he repeated the wand motions and the ever confusing incantation indicated upon the board for the seventh time in a row _. For the love of Merlin!_ Severus could feel his blood boiling. _No, no I can get this. Okay, it's just a flick to the left, a swish to the right annnd._

"Hey Prongs, don't look now, but our future Death Eater seems to be struggling!" Sirius whispered loudly to James. Only to once again make the messy haired Seeker chuckle and break Severus' concentration.

"Now, Padfoot it isn't because he's a Death Eater that is the cause of his struggle." James muttered back to his friend loud enough to make absolutely sure their surrounding classmates were able hear.

"But, Prongs what other dilemma could there be?" Sirius questioned, going as far as to raise an eyebrow comically.

"Well, if you knew such a greasy git was summoning you would you appear?" James said, only to receive a chorus of laughter from all the students within earshot. All but, two sensible teens, which were Remus Lupin and Lilly Evans.

 _Come on, Remus just say," that's not funny." Just do it_ "Guys, come on. Look, I'm struggling too" muttered Remus, all the confidence abandoning him exactly when he needed it.

"Come off it Mooney, besides you know the snake deserves it" James answered back lackadaisically, still basking in the attention he was currently receiving.

"Yeah, what James said" responded Peter, trying to reinforce his hero's option like an obsessive fangirl. Severus could feel his cheeks burning crimson and his head filling with thoughts that would make even the sadistic Dark Lord cringe. _Come on! I need something to wipe that cocky smirk of Potter's bloody face!_ His wand movements changed from controlled to frantic as his thoughts began to race. _Anything, I mean I'm not asking for a Norwegian Ridgeback but, at least something."_ Now, this wouldn't be so frustrating if that fat idiot, Peter hadn't been successful in summoning a tiny Flubberworm. _I'm better than that pitiful excuse for a Pureblood!_ Severus thought as his blood pressure seemed to rise to dangerous levels.

After correcting the wand movements of some random Hufflepuffs did Mrs. Merriweathing seem to notice Mr. Snape's erratic wand swishing.

 _Maybe it's time to call it a da...wait a minute, isn't that…OH NO!_ Mentally screamed our ball shaped instructor.

"Mr. Snape, cease what you are doing at once!" screamed Mrs. Merriweathing as she bumbled through the row of desks towards the pale, long haired wizard. However, as all the staff and students know Severus tended to disregard most orders despite the consequences.

 _I can do this!_ Snape chanted repeatedly within his mind. His wand movement no longer traceable to the naked eye and seeming to get faster and more chaotic. Mrs. Merriweathing kicked it into high gear, her stubby legs waddling up the stairs trying to stop the impending doom bound to arise.

"Mr. Snape, if you don't stop...I'll (huff) take 40 poi… (Gasp) points from Slytherin!" Mrs. Merriweathering gasped out, questioning every foolish decisions towards her health. Students looked on with awe at the pandemonium occurring, some thinking they were hit with a Confundus hex. Despite her best efforts at defying Newton's law of Gravity she wasn't able to reach Snape before, he had shouted out "Transfendio Summossa!" The words echoing in the classroom like one's voice would in a cave or pit.

Upon hearing this the whole class either ducked under their desks assuming something big was bound to happen or did the Protego spell. Fortunately, to all it seemed as if nothing happened except for a deafening silence to hush over the class. It was so silent one could clearly hear the wiggling of Peter's Flubberworm.

"Classic Snivellus! All bark and no bite!" Sirius gasped through laughter which, strangely resembled barking.

"Not only did he get the wand movements wrong he also messed up the incantation!" James exclaimed, the words echoing and rebounding throughout the classroom. This was immediately followed by the chuckles and unrestricted laughter of the other students/groupies within the class. None seemed to take any notice to the hauntingly fearful gaze of their teacher. Nor the sickly, ash color that had replaced her usually rosy laughter continued with no end in sight.

"I know, right! I can't believe...Wha?" said James in response to the sudden appearance of white flakes within his unkempt hair.

"What the hey! What is this? Dandruff?" asked Sirius to no one in particular. This caused the previous silence to return with vengeance except, it was accompanied by a wave of fear and slight disgust.

"No, it's sand" injected Remus, holding a tiny pile of it within his hand. _Granted it's the color of snow_ Remus thought as he inspected the snow colored sand particles closer. "Look!" squeaked a mousy Ravenclaw as she pointed to the ceiling interrupting the long streak of silence. All eyes quickly darted towards the ceiling. Across the ceiling something akin to a rip in the air had appeared. It wasn't circular but, had the appearance of what a series of floorboards that had drifted apart would look like. Within the space between the "floorboards" was nothing but, black and the steady flow of sand emptying from wherever it led to or from.

"Haahaha...kinda looks like...um…yeah." muttered Sirius dumbly, as he and others began to be creeped out.

"I can't find that shape or the spell within the textbook" said Lily, as she rapidly flipped through the book for info upon what resided over their heads. _It's not a portal…well not any shape mentioned within our textbooks. Not even the duds nor the irregularities look close to that thing_ Lily thought while she continued flipping pages.

 _Sand…I summoned stupid, bloody, SAND!_ Severus thought to himself while he basked in the shame, humility and a smidge of self-pity. _Once again the bloody Marauders have humiliated me!_ Severus's thoughts repeated which, caused him to completely ignore the possible danger present since the whole fiasco began.

Just then a series of screams could be heard approaching at high speeds.

(To Be Continued….)


	2. Chapter 2: Calling in the players

I added a bit more damage to the characters

Declaimer: I do not own Bleach nor Harry Potter.

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The vast desert was slowly but, surely quieting as the clashing of swords ended and the battle cries faded into oblivion. The battles between good and evil were now coming to their climax with all ending in one of the opponents dead. However, in any situation there are always outliers. Our first outlier being the battle between our protagonist and a certain panther.

 _F*** my life_ was all Grimmjow could think as he lay bleeding upon the sandy floor of Hueco Mundo. "Heh, there goes dumb*** Yammy" Grimmjow said as he felt another "comrade's" reiatsu fade into the wind. _So, this is it for the King. Kinda thought I would die waaaaay cooler. Wait…I'm already dead! Does that mean I'll be twice as dead?!_ He thought bitterly to himself. _Well, might as well close my eyes and wait to feel the sweet flames of Hell._

However, as soon as he had shut his eyes for what seemed to be the final time a voice rang out from the distance. "Itsygo! Itsygo! Nel's sorry for losing! Pwease come back! Itsygoooooo!"

Upon hearing such a youthful voice in the Hell dubbed Las Noches Grimmjow's eyes shot open.

 _The hell's a child doing in this s**ty sandbox?_ Grimmjow pondered to himself. _S**t! Still can't move. Thanks Nnoitra for f***ing up my d**n spine with that poorly constructed thing you call a sword!_

"Hey! Who goes there?" Grimmjow yelled out, seeing as he was as mobile as a quadriplegic.

What followed was the sound of running feet, tiny feet to be exact.

 _Yeah, Nel's found someone!_ Was all the toddler sized Arrancar could happily think after walking for miles all by herself. However, the closer she got to the voice so did the distinct stench of blood grow stronger. What happened next could be described in two ways:

From Nelliel's perspective it could be said to be an award winning scary movie. Due to the fact when she finally came to the spot the voice originated from she found a body. A body riddled with open wounds and speckled with bruises. She saw the originally blue hair soaked red from the obviously cracked skull. The man's clothes were now better classified as rags or strips of bloody cloth, which were barely succeeding in hiding his "ahem" reproductive organ. However, despite all the damage he'd obtained the fierce look that called for vengeance still lingered in his aqua eyes.

For Grimmjow it was quite the comical image with a tinge of morbidity sprinkled into the mix. From his perspective he saw a green haired child that looked extremely desperate. One of her eyes was almost swollen shut and her hollow mask looked worse for wear. Her clothes were also so torn it was comical except, the blood coating it took the humor out of the equation. The worst of her injuries appeared to be her bleeding head wound, which looked as if someone had meteor smashed her into the earth repeatedly and the limp she had was from the horribly broken leg.

They stared in silence, with it only broken by the occasional wheeze accompanying every breath Grimmjow took.

 _Greeeaat. Now I'm Fucking hallucinating_ Grimmjow thought as he once again closed his eyes. Nel seeing the man was bleeding knew what she had to do. She walked over and proceeded to climb till she was seated upon his lap. Then, she opened her mouth wide, grasped her uvula and began to provide the man with A+ medical aid from Doctor Nelliel.

Well, as anyone can assume Grimmjow jolted awake upon feeling a thick, warm and putrid smelling residue suddenly deposited upon his body.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU FUN-SIZED BITCH" caterwauled Grimmjow, becoming quite pissed he couldn't die in peace.

"Nels ish healing yous with her spit." responded Nel, as drool/vomit dripped down her chin.

"THAT IS NOT SPIT! THAT'S GODDAMN VOMIT! GET OFF NOW BEFORE I SMASH YOU LIKE THE BUG YOU ARE!" Grimmjow screamed so loud that it was audible in the Menos Forest.

"But, Itsygo said it worked" whimpered back Nel, saddened by the memory of Ichigo and the man's response.

"WELL, THAT PROVES…wait did you just say Ichigo?" Grimmjow questioned, his anger dowsed like a flame.

"Yesh! Itsygo is Nel's fwiend but, he's mad cause Nel lost." her cheerful face dying down into quite the somber frown.

 _Sheesh, didn't think Berry boy had the nads to do that. If I survive this I'll congratulate him after kicking his ass,_ Grimmjow thought as he fantasied having Ichigo at his mercy.

"Yeah, seems like something he'd do. Hell, did you see how fast he dropped his Mexican luchador of a friend? For having some shitty hero complex he dumps his "friends" pretty quick." Grimmjow said nonchalantly.

 _Then again what do I know? Seeing as I've never had a friend._

Nel didn't know whether to laugh at the sudden changes of mood expressed upon the man's face or be scared.

 _He's reminds me of Pesche._ Nel ideally thought as the silence returned between the two Arrancars. However, the thought of her family soon brought a wave of tears to her pink eyes.

 _Oh No! The kid is crying_ Grimmjow mentally screamed to himself, as he began to freak out. _Uhhh…what did that kissass Ulquiorra do when Princess cried? Oh yeah_. "Silence, onna…or some stupid shit like that" Grimmjow said as he attempted to imitate Ulquiorra's signature facial expression.

"Look, I, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, don't do tears and sentimental moments nor will I be the shoulder you cry on! If you're going to do that take, it somewhere else and let me die in peace" Grimmjow said with no regard to Nel's feelings.

"Wait! Yous the one who healed Itsygo and made the bwack haired meanie go poof" Nel said, instantly recognizing and establishing a sort of kinship with the disgruntled man,"So that means yous an ally! Hi Grimmy, my name is Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck but, you can call mes Nel" she said with a dazzling smile.

Upon hearing this Grimmjow did a double take. _Nelliel…the past Tres Espada?!_ "Wait do you mean... However, before Grimmjow could finish his question the ground shook harder than a level 10 earthquake. Both Espada eyes darted to and fro in every possible direction but, found nothing.

"Okay…what the hell did that?!" Grimmjow screamed to no one in particular as Nel clung to his chest in fear. Just then a garguanta appeared under Grimmjow which, successfully sucked the two Arrancars into what would be a life changing adventure. Some say to this very day the words, "WHAT THE FucK!?" could be heard echoing over and through the vast plains of Hueco Mundo.

 **To Be Continued…**


	3. Chapter 3 Calling in the players (end)

Disclaimer: I do not own Any of Bleach or Harry Potter or Sonic

Italics= thoughts

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 _This is bad! this is bad! damn my conscience_! Was all our protagonist, Ichigo thought, as he paced what remained of the battle field. _What if he…no, I didn't want to win like that!_ he thought, as he glanced over his shoulder at his companion, Orihime and the blazing orange doom she'd employed.

 _Just a little more…and I …am...DONE!_ Orihime mentally said to herself, as she glanced down at her newly healed patient. _Well, sorta_ she thought, wincing a little at the results of her work.

Her patient which, she had reconstructed from dust, still looked incomplete. The figure's enormous bat wings were a mess. Seeing as chunks of flesh between each of the fingers seemed to be torn out. His horns were chipped and like his arms, one was missing. His chest still bore a gaping hole that had blood blacker than night running from it. However, now accompanying the hole were numerous scars remaining from the earlier battle each varying in length and depth. His lower half was subpar since one leg looked to be that of an emaciated chicken. While his tail was broken so bad that bone fragments jutted out in several places.

 _Hope that's regenerate able. "_ Kurosaki-kun, it's done!" she screamed to the fidgeting teen behind her.

 _Well, here goes nothing_ Ichigo said as he mentally and physically braced for all Hell to break loose. He tapped the demonic figure's fur covered arm. Eyes greener than any emerald in existence jolted open.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed the two redheads, upon seeing their enemy awaken with such speed.

If there was a word to describe Ulquiorra's mood when he discover his eminent demise hadn't come to pass it'd be pissed.

"Why have you healed me Woman?" Ulquiorra asked bluntly.

"Oh, well...um…that's because... Ichigo will explain" Orihime said rapidly, fidgeting under Ulquiorra's unblinking gaze. "Trash..., Kurosaki Ichigo, why have you healed your enemy?"

"Um…well you see" Ichigo began hesitantly only to be cut off by Ulquiorra. "The man responsible for the psychological torture of your friend which, I took forcefully and quite against her will to Aizen-sama…"

"See the fact is…" Ichigo tried to say only to once again be cut off.

"That he only discovered when Yammy and I went to your hometown on recon, which resulted in any human within a 100 mile radius to have their souls ripped out. Yammy, who then proceeded to rip Yasutora Sado's arm off and bash the Onna's head in. All of which I could have stopped within a second had I cared at all. The man who caused two of your friends to be seen as a traitor by the whole Soul Society only so she'd feel even more alone as I guarded her. A duty I didn't fulfill to my best abilities and allowed her to be humiliated and beaten severely by two Arrancars. I, who mocked and aided in causing her friends' deaths and had resorted to IVs and force feeding her. All done not out of kindness but, so she'd have the energy to serve my Lord, Aizen-sama. The man who betrayed your people, framed your friends on two different occasions, and will soon turn your home with all your loved ones' souls into a key to become Soul King." Ulquiorra said, without once changing his voice or blinking.

 _Wow…just…woooow_ Ichigo thought, as the silence continued to stretch between the three people (well, one person, one hybrid, and the Espada).

"Yes, yes you did have a hand in *ahem* all that stuff. However, I didn't want to win the battle like I had" Ichigo said, trying and failing to seem confident in his decision. "That wasn't me, so I couldn't let you die! So, I grabbed some ash and asked Orihime heal you." He finished while flashing a weak smile.

"Foolish Soul Reaper. However, if that is how you feel then, proceed to slash my throat." Ulquiorra said nonchalantly, as if he was asking what the weather was.

"Wait, Ulqui-kun aren't you happy to be alive!?" Orihime said, as she was quite taken aback by the Fourth's response.

"No. and nor will I fight you, Kurosaki Ichigo, for I have failed Aizen-sama which, indicates I have failed my sole purpose for existing. So cease prolong my purposeless existence. Kill me." was all the fourth said before closing his eyes. _Is this what Grimmjow meant by"not giving a f**k"?_

"That's depressing." was all Ichigo could think to say to such a proclamation.

"You could…um…yeah. Wait! Maybe…no…that doesn't…couldn't…yeah" he muttered while rubbing the back of his neck.

"I know! You could come and live in the human world!" Orihime said, clapping her hands and giving a beaming smile.

"What!?" was all the two swordsmen could think of saying, especially at such a foolish solution.

"Yeah! You could learn about the heart and eat all sorts of food, play games, watch T.V. Oh, then you'd go to school with all of us and learn and interact with others! Then, you'd find a passion like art…or reading...or sports. Yeah! Then you become king of the school because you scored the winning basket touchdown. But, then your rival would get jealous and poison you…" she said, all while making tons of weird faces, gestures and strangely exotic poses.

"*Ahem* What I think Inoue is trying to say is, why waste this chance?" Ichigo said, as the girl continued with her strange tale not aware neither of them were paying attention.

 _Hmmm, I do still find these humans to be interesting and I haven't finish my search for the heart._ Before he could give the scantily covered teen his answer the platform began to shake! Right after the rumbling had ended the words, "WHAT THE FUCK!?" could be heard in the distance! With so much happening at one time, all three characters became quite disorientated.

"What is going on!?" yelled Ichigo. However, the Shinigami's question was drowned out by Orihime's sudden scream of terror! Both men could do nothing but, watch as a random Garganta that suddenly appear sucked Orihime into its depths! Within seconds most of her body had sunk into the portal, the tips of her fingers barely visible!

With speed that would put Sonic to shame, the Espada and the Shinigami had jumped to their feet/claws. Without any hesitation the men dove into the surprise Garganta! The second Ulquiorra's tail disappeared through the Garganta, it shut and dissappeared without a sound. All that followed was the echoing silence and an ominous feeling fill the starless sky that rested above the dome.

 **(To Be Continue…)**

 **Please Review**


	4. Chapter 4: Unsavory Visitor

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Bleach

Italics= thoughts

 **Bold= words are in Japanese**

 _It's over, I'm definitely going to lose my bloody job._ Was the only thought within Mrs. Merriweathing head as she watched her class plummet into chaos. _150 years of teaching goes up in smoke because of one student._ Her somber gaze scanned the room taking note of all the pandemonium one Slytherin, Severus Snape, had created. The portal had begun to deposit buckets of sand til it began forming some ghetto interpretation of a beach. _Merlin, I'm going to have to be a muggle teacher! I may even sink as low as teaching American muggles._ She continued to predict her abnormally bleak future which, made her forget her surroundings and the persistent prods and pleads of her terrified students.

 _Those stupid gits, Potter and Black!_ Lily angrily thought as she push her way through the crowd and up the aisle toward the infamous class clowns, who like the everyone else were gawking at the suspicious portal waiting to see who or what was behind the screams. _Wait 'til I get my hands on them! I'll…_ "AAAAAHHHHHH!" she screeched, causing all to divert their eyes from the portal. What the students saw was a terrifyingly pale skinned ginger and a random sword impaled into the floorboards about a millimeter away from her skull.

James seeing a chance to invade Lily's personal space rushed to her side. "Lily! Are you okay? Did you scrap anything? Anything bruised?" James rapidly said, as he reveled in the fact Snivilly almost hurt Lily. While helping Lily to her feet he happened to see Sirius analyzing the weapon with a scary level of intensity. _Merlin…that is awesome. That puts even Godric's sword to shame._ Sirius thought while simultaneously getting closer to the weapon. The sword had a navy blue hilt and a flawlessly sculpted and slender blade. A blade that was oddly further accentuated by the crusted blood coating it in several places. _Think of all the dark wizards that could take down._ However, before he could grasp the object of his desire, a desk exploded behind him!

All eyes turned to see…well, none knew what they were seeing. They could tell it was a young man and a girl however, that was the only thing normal about these two. Adorning their head and face were the skeletal pieces of beasts except, which beasts were still a mystery. Their clothing were rattier than any freed house elf known to have existed. They also had the most vibrant color of hair ever which, sorta reminded them of one of the Headmaster's robes. Both of the strangers had what seemed to be either tattoos or makeup decorating their faces. The man's were blue and located under each eye while the girl's was a pink strip set smack dab in the middle of her face. Both were heavily injured in a variety of ways both ranging from gashes to broken bones. Between the two though the man bore the bulk of the injuries especially, since he took the blunt of the desk damage. The most unsettling fact being that despite the immense damage the guy had accumulated, he was still moving!

 _S**t! S**t! F**king S**T! Just my luck too! I lose to Bitchigo and get his d**m pity. Then, Nnoitra sabotages me, only to finish with a miniature "Tres" Espada THROW UP ON ME! Now to further my humiliation, I'm in some place with literally no reishi! Aizen, I'm so weak my S**TY hierro isn't working!_ Grimmjow thought, as he slowly rose to his feet despite the blinding pain. _Well at least the crash popped my back in to place…what the…Why DO I KEEP INCONTERING CHILDREN!_

All were still and silent, all quite unsettled at seeing the stranger and the livid look donning his face. Most had fled the classroom to either save their bum or get help however, the more cowardly teens *ahem* Peter had an accident. Grimmjow was too preoccupied pulling the shards of desk out of his back to see the messy haired kid in glasses start approaching him.

"Prongs! Don't go over there! Prongs! Prongs!" Sirius silently screamed as he grabbed James' robe, stopping his best friend from getting closer to potential death. "I agree with Padfoot" Remus said, backing Sirius and aiding in restraining James. "Yeah, er what they said" Peter injected. "No, guys I do! Initiates contact and stuff to...uh show we're friendly. However, I do need you, Peter, to run and get the Headmaster or some teacher or another. Seeing as ours is doing nothing! " James retorted, as he scowled at Mrs. Merriweathing who was being utterly useless.

"*Ahem* hey…dude! How's it going? Do you need…um…help? We have a nurse who could get those gashes checked out." James hesitantly said, trying to put on his most charming smile as he escaped his friends and began cautiously approaching the stranger. The man whipped around faster than any golden snitch he's chased, his face quite puzzled. "Hi, I'm James Potter" his replied, his confidence slowly growing with each second.

" **The hell you just say?"** Grimmjow said, aggressively in being approached while he's so weak. " **Where is this F**king place, anyway? Cause I was just in Hueco Mundo and then some garganta opens and swallows Nel and me. I mean S**t! Can't I get a GODD**M break for once?!"** He said, all while simultaneously scanning the room for potential threats, enemies, and exits. _The bloody hell this loon just say?!_ James thought, not understanding the language the man spoke. _Was that Mermainese or goblin?_ He thought questionably, looking towards his classmates and pals for help.

Grimmjow, being the impatient and hostile man we all know didn't take several things well. 1. He was extraordinarily injured and losing power. 2. He was in an unknown place, surrounded. 3. He was being ignored. This lead to him needing an outlet for said anger (i.e. the glasses wearing bas***d in front of him.) Before, James could turn back and further question the man a hand clasped around his neck! **"I said, WHERE THE F**K AM I?!"** Grimmjow growled into James' face, his eyes bore the promise of violence. All eyes turned upon hearing a choked squawk only to see a murder in progress! They saw their talented Quidditch captain turning the shade of purple that could put a plum to shame which, was the result of the blue haired maniac's hand clutching his throat. This caused the previous pandemonium to return except, amplified by 100 with the last curious few fleeing out the door! "JAMES!" screamed Remus and Sirius in unison. Lily, seeing what was transpiring began aggressively poking and shaking Mrs. Merriweathing with all her might. While Sirius and Remus responded in searching their robes quite franticly for their wands.

 _Oh F**k! F**K! F**K! I don't want to die at the hands of this nutter!_ James thought, all while clawing at Grimmjow's hand and rapidly searching for his wand. _I haven't graduated nor have I stopped the Dark Lord and his minions. I'll never fulfill my dream of marrying Lily and start a family! Merlin's beard, I don't want to die here with nothing memorable done! Someone…anyone SAVE ME!_

However, just as our Seeker's vision started to blur and before his best friends could perform any hex, a DEUS EX MACHINA was employed (cause yeah, I'm the writer and I can do that s**t)! From the demonic portal's depths a new chorus of screams echoed and weirdly the voices seemed to be getting closer at break neck speed!

(To Be Continued…)

 **Please don't hesitate to review!**


	5. You know the saying:The more,the crazier

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Bleach

Note: This chapter might be the most difficult and strenuous chapter of it all in this story. However, it was a great deal of fun to write and hopefully you all like it. **Please Review and tell me your thoughts.**

Italics= thoughts

 **Bold= Japanese**

Ms. McGonagall never thought she'd encounter a student wearing a robe soaked in pee and bawling at such a prestigious school as Hogwarts however, here she was. She didn't know whether to be surprised or disgusted to find Mr. Pettigrew crying, robes dripping on her carpets and him repeating the words," James, Dumbledore, portal, and help" in a verity of combinations. _Haaaah…I don't get enough Galleons to deal with this._ Putting on her most concerned face she turned to the hysterical wizard. "Peter…Peter…PETER! Calm down and tell me slowly what is wrong. Is James hurt? What's this about a portal? Why do we need the Headmaster?" she questioned, gauging whether to use a cheering charm upon the pudgy boy. "Ja-James h-h-he was going to ta-t-talk to this m-m-man and he-he-he sent me to get helppppp! WAHHHHHHH!" Peter wailed, tears pouring down his ratty face." Co-come on, we hav-have to hurry o-o-or James is going to die!" he said, all while pulling her to the door by her dark green robes. _Eeew. Note to house elves: burn these robes_. _Let's see…I have a good 30 minutes before first-years come._ "I'm coming, I'm coming, Mr. Pettigrew. Let me just inform the Headmaster." With a flick of her wand, she sent a patronus towards the Headmaster's office. As they started down the many corridors within Hogwarts she began to see more evidence indicating Mr. Pettigrew's claims were more serious than she assumed. As they progress closer towards the Summoning classroom she saw quite the number of hysterical witches and wizards lying around, either crying or muttering to themselves. "Maybe, we should walk faster." She said tensely.

Meanwhile in the classroom

{Under the desk}

 _Oh shite, I'm going to get expelled! No! I'm going to go to Azkaban for murder!_ Was all Severus thought as he watched his summoning strangle his rival. _Merlin, they'll snapped my wand! I mean sure I hate the guy, but I don't want him dead!_ He could already feel an intense headache forming, as he crept further into the dark depth of the desk he'd been hiding underneath. However, before he could watch his enemy be choked out a chorus of scream erupted from his summoning portal.

"Nononononononononono! Not another monster!" screamed all three Gryffindor in unison at the prospect of anything exiting that wormhole of doom. So just imagine their surprise when instead of a beast, they got a bunny. What popped out was any teenage boy's dream. Instead of another maniac they got a normal girl with quite the *ahem* knockers. She had big, grey doe eyes, and luscious, long, fiery hair that looked to reach her back. She landed right on top of said attempted murder, helping free James from Grimmjow's iron grasp. **"Who the hell!? Oh, Princesa! I'd know those tits from anywhere!"** Grimmjow said with a lustful grin, his anger instantly forgotten. " **Grimmjow-kun! You're alive!? How!?"** Orihime said, as her face turned tomato red after hearing such a comment. **"Better yet where are we? And why is Nel unconscious!?"** the teen said, while shaking and checking the pulse of the turquoise haired child. _Better yet who are they?_ She thought, as she watch the robed boy quickly scramble away.

"Merlin! James! James, are you okay!? Don't worry, I'll hex Snivillus til he's uglier than the Giant Squid! Hahha-OWWW! What the heck, Evans!?" Sirius asked, as he rubbed his throbbing arm. _Girl_ _has the bloody strength of a troll._ "That's not funny, Black! Pot-James…are you okay?" Lily hesitantly touched James' shoulder as he heaved up all of his breakfast. _I almost died! Oh Shite! I…I…almost died!_ James began to hyperventilate as his thoughts went wild. **"Are you okay?"** all four Gryffindor jumped at hearing the gibberish of the new orange haired stranger so close. **"Do you need help?"** Orihime smiled gently while she pat James on the back. **"Grimmjow-kun…he's probably didn't really mean to kill you."** The response she got was one of puzzlement (and one of pants s**ting fear from James). "Uh…please don't kill and or hurt us." Remus said meekly to the teen girl. Orihime was going to ask him what he said however, she got distracted by a loud and sudden crash and the grunt that from Grimmjow.

{Under the desk}

Severus' eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw this current nightmare grow 10 million times worse. For what he saw was anything but terrifying! The blue haired psychopath had been downed by another orange haired teen except, this one was wearing black and was a male. However, his eyes were primarily stuck on the latest portal arrival. He could literally taste the danger radiated in waves from the spawn of Satan standing in front of his hiding place. Although, injured it looked as if it could level Hogwarts and Hogsmeade in seconds.

" **Grimmjow! What are you doing here and what'd you do to Nel!?"** Ichigo yelled, as he scrambled off of Grimmjow. **"Yeah, yeah get in line."** He rolled his eyes, **"But, S**T! If it isn't Ulqui-whoreboy! Wow, your Ressurrecci** **ón** **is as depressing as you!"** Grimmjow said, with his trademark smug smile. **"Hello Trash. I see Kurosaki Ichigo was the winner of your match. However, pitiful and fast it was."** Ulquiorra said, turning from what he saw as Aizen's biggest mistake. **"OH YEAH! Well, I'm pretty sure you used to have two skinny-a** arms, b**ch! How you going to "service" Aizen with one arm! Gonna lose your rank, if you can't give Aizen a happy ending, Batsy!** Grimmjow taunted, as he got right in Ulquiorra's face. **"Guys, lets calm down."** Ichigo said, trying to settle the two irate Espada. **"Guys, please its ge-gett-getting h-hard t-to-to breath!"** He clutched his throat feeling the Reiastu rising exponentially within the small classroom. Soon all the occupants within the class room were struggling to stand and or breathe. _Curse you, Snivellus and your pitiful skills as a wizard! I'll totally kick your arse as a ghost!_ Was the last thought Sirius thought he'd get to have.

Just then, Ms. McGonagall burst into the classroom, her wand ready to strike! "Merlin's beard! What the bloody hell, is happening here!" Ms. McGonagall screamed, interrupting Grimmjow and Ulquiorra's pissing match. Ms. McGonagall was struck speechless at the conditions of the room! Everywhere were quills and inkbottles tipped over, the ink dripping all over the floor. The desks were either toppled, demolished, or specked with blood! She saw a skull wearing toddler passed out on the floor, who appeared to have been in a terrible fight. Next to her was a young man in black, exotic clothing that were ripped beyond repair. The boy appeared to be placating two very eye-catching beings. One was an extremely injured and poorly covered man with blue hair. The other had to be the love child of several beasts located in the Forbidden Forest. Once the Transfiguration teacher was able to pull her eyes from the duo, she saw something much more distressing. She saw four of her students scared out of their wits. She saw the troublesome Mr. Black, panting and grasping his throat, trying and failing to get enough oxygen in his lungs! Next to him was Mr. Lupin, sweating buckets, mumbling, with seriously dilated eyes! Ms. Evans wasn't any better, she seemed to have shut down! The gifted witch was drooling and her green eyes were extremely glossed over! However, Mr. Potter had to be the worst! He seemed to have fainted, his glasses askew and a lot of vomit lingered on his robe and chin! However, the most troubling detail was the large hand shaped print left upon his throat. The seeker was being shaken by some well-endowed redhead in a ripped white dress. Seeing all this destruction didn't spark her anger. No, it was when she saw Mrs. Merriweathing doing nothing that her anger roared to life! She literally had to utilize all her self-control to not attack her coworker Muggle-style! She ran to her students debating whether or not to attack the strangers in the room.

 _Please, please don't be dead! Please, oh please, don't be dead!_ She prayed, as she checked each student's pulse. "Mr. Black, what happened?! Are you okay? Do you know what spell they used? "N-n-no spell, just a sud-den pressure h-happened and it's all SNAPE'S FAULT! I-I'll get him, I swear!" threatened Sirius. "Calm down, Mr. Black! What happened to Mr. Potter? Where did these peo-monsters come from!?" she questioned, as she watched the orange haired girl back away from her wand. _Yeah, back away from my students, Busty Ginger!_ "We were practicing summoning an-and SNAPE did it wrong! So, a portal opened and those g-guys popped out! James, the bloody loveable idiot, thinks to ta-talk to the blue guy! And the nutter chokes James for no reason! Sirius explained to the exasperated teacher. _So, they're dangerous!?_ The cat animagus stared apprehensively at the odd group. "Dumbledore should be here soon, let's get everyone out of here." She said in a tone of finality.

Ms. McGonagall looked at her dazed coworker and let her anger loose. She reared back and slapped Mrs. Merriweathing in her pudgy face, waking her from her petrifying stupor. "Wha-how-where! Minerva!? What's going on?" Mrs. Merriweathing asked, rubbing her imprinted check. "Grab the students and get out!" the Transfiguration teacher growled. The two women began picked up the children using a levitation spell to gather the extremely injured. The two witches and their injured students began moving towards the door, eyes trained upon the 5 strange beings. However, before Ms. McGonagall could leave the doorway she saw her fears were far from over.

{Under the desk}

 _Merlin! My chest it hurts!_ Severus panted and grasped his chest. _Wait, what is that sound?_ Was all he thought, when he heard what sounded like the door being kicked in. He listened closely to hear Black and…Ms. McGonagall! _Yes! Sweet, sweet salvation!_ However, his hopes were soon dashed when he heard his savior exiting the room. _No! Don't go!_ Severus began to scramble out from the desk only to collide with something black and silky. He looked up to see deep, emerald, serpent eyes staring at him. He could hardly blink before the beast's tail was wrapped tightly around his body! **"Who are you and what are doing touching me?"** Ulquiorra demanded, twirling his tail left and right to inspect his quivering prey. **"S**t these little F**kers are everywhere! A little heavy on the ugly side though."** Grimmjow said, as he inspected the big nosed Slytherin intensely. **"Grimmjow stop you're scaring him and Ulquiorra put him down! We can't be making any more trouble! With you choking some kid and all the destruction to this room we're off to a bad start!"** Ichigo threw up his hands in exasperation. Ripping Severus from Ulquiorra's tail he attempted to reconcile with the terrified boy. **"Hey…kid. I…we want to ask if you're okay? We come in peace, kay. Hahaha, that's cliché I kno-!** Ichigo dropped Severus upon getting hit by McGonagall's Stupefy, he was instantly knocked out. "Accio-Snape!" Ms. McGonagall yelled, as she quickly tried to separate her student from potential murderers. Silence ensued as the Bleach crew looked to Ichigo to Ms. McGonagall's wand to Ichigo several times. Now all would have been fine if she'd only hexed Ichigo but, she also attacked Ulquiorra. Well, you better believe all hell broke loose!

Ulquiorra quickly slapped his hands together and made a relatively small green javelin. Grimmjow wanting in on the fun began charging his cero. The two teachers watched as the Espada charged their deadly attacks, their minds blank of all barrier, protective spells. Literally anything that could give them any chance of survival. Ulquiorra launched his javelin and Grimmjow released his cero, both ignoring Orihime's screams to stop. _Goodbye Hogwarts, the best years of my life were spent here._ Was the thought of our beloved Transfiguration teacher, as she watched the two destructive projectiles quickly head towards them. _I'm sorry, children I wish I could save you!_ She tightly closed her eyes, waiting for the impact. "PROTEGO!" screamed Dumbledore which, effectively rebounded each of the arrancar's attacks. Uncontrollable Tears of relief and joy began to flood Minerva's eyes. **"F**k."** Was all the two Espada said in complete in sync, before they were hit by their attack. The wall behind said Espada was instantly crumbled to smithereens as the Espada were knocked back into it! _So this is what kicking one's own a** is like._ Ulquiorra thought, as his attack blasted him unconscious, feeling several bones probably shatter into dust. _F**K MY LIFE!_ Grimmjow mentally screamed, as he experienced what burning one's skin off is like before his vision went pitch black.

"Headmaster! Thank Merlin, you were here! You…you saved us from Snape's plan! He-he-he summoned these creatures to destroy Hogwarts! He almost got all of us killed! You'resoawesomeIcan'tthankyouenough! So, Snivellus is expelled, right!" Sirius said with such enthusiasm and so quickly, it was really scary. Dumbledore held up his hand when he saw a row about to begin between the Gryffindor and Slytherin. "No, no Mr. Snape isn't expelled. However, 125 points to Slytherin for such magnificent summoning! Mrs. Merriweathing could you take these students to Madam Pomfrey then, instantly go to my office. Take Mr. Pettigrew with you to get something to calm the young lad. Minerva, I'd like to see you in my office as well." He paused to watch his orders be carried out before he turned to the last conscious occupant within the Summoning classroom.

Orihime wasn't going to lie to herself and say, "I'm okay". She wasn't going to kid herself and say, "I'm not afraid". Right now, she was terrified because of 4 things. 1. She didn't know where she was. 2. She didn't understand anything these people said. 3. She watch 3 of the strongest beings she knows get knocked out! 4. Their conqueror was walking towards her now! _OH God! I finally, escaped one terrifying and powerful enemy. Only to land in another's hands!_ She began to quiver as the strange, very colorful, bearded man crouched in front of her. He proceeded to point that weapon of his at her face, she could feel the tears rolling down her cheek. _Oh God! What's he gonna do?! WHAT"S HE GONNA DO!?_ She was starting to struggle to breath and the tears come faster. "Transfendio Summossa!" Dumbledore yelled, his wand flashing in Orihime's face! The instant those words came out Orihime fainted, hitting the ground like a sack of potatoes! Dumbledore looked at the blacked out ginger extremely puzzled. When the smoke faded it revealed a bowl of Lemon drops. _Why do children loathe these things?_

(To Be Continued….)


	6. Ch6: Orihime's Big Dayout!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Bleach

Author's Note: This chapter jumps around a hell of a lot in several ways. So, I'd like to apologize however, it was needed for the chapter to make even a lick of sense. I hope I'm not making any characters OOC but if I am **PLEASE TELL ME**! **And as always, don't hesitate to REVIEW!**

 **Bold= Japanese**

 _Italicized= thoughts_

Underlined= Author's thoughts

Orihime was really confused when she awoke that morning. She was expecting to awake in her tiny cell in Hueco Mundo but, she didn't. Instead, she awoke in a weird, old timey hospital. The room relied upon candles instead of electricity like any normal building would. _Then again I don't think Hueco Mundo had electricity._ The mere thought of Hueco Mundo brought a flood of memories back to her. She instantly remembered a variety of things like a destroyed classroom, scared kids, and conquering old man! _Oh No! What happened to the guys?!_ She was relieved to find all her friends/ frenemies in the room but, each had a few changes done to them. She saw located on her right, in the second cot from door was Ulquiorra. The Fourth had returned to his normal form upon losing conscience which, she was really happy about. Surprisingly, the damage he took from his lance wasn't there! Beside him was Grimmjow. He, like Ulquiorra, was completely healed and his clothing repaired to premium condition. To her left were Ichigo and Nel. Nel had her head bandaged up and had bandages upon her hollow mask. Her ragged shawl had been so repaired they looked practically brand new. To the right of the mini ex-Espada was Ichigo. His clothes seemed to have been replaced with some bathrobey thing. However, the most prominent change she noticed were the chains. Yes, chains. Attached to Grimmjow, Ulquiorra and Ichigo's wrists were some real heavy-duty chains that were linked to the stone floor. _Well, that's a little much. Wait…Grimmjow and Ulquiorra didn't make the best impressi..._ Before Orihime could finish her thought, her bladder sent a painful sting through her body. _Crap! I need to pee!_ She quickly scanned the room for anything resembling a toilet, only to be very disappointed. She knew what she was going to have to do but, she wasn't looking forward to it. _I'll just be quick about. Yea, I'll just be gone for a second or two!_ Orihime gathered all her courage and proceeded towards the exit. After, a quick scan of the surrounding hallway, she left. The heavy wooden door closed with the most ominous sound in centuries.

Severus couldn't help but smile with all that had happened these past 3 weeks. Ever since the whole summoning incident, Hogwarts has changed immensely. _Who knew it only took one spell to change everything!_ Severus had never felt so...so POWERFUL! He still can't believe how awesome his first day out of the infirmary was!

***** FLASH BACK****

Severus walked ever so slowly to the Slytherin dormitory, not looking forward to anything. _Merlin! They're going to tear me a new one! All the taunts and shite! Why me!?_ Severus thoughts only became more depressing, as his death march continued. Before he knew it he was in front of the Common Room's entrance. "Pure-blood." He mumbled the password, his face already hidden behind his greasy hair. _I'll just go straight to bed. Just make a bee-line for it. Yeah, that'll work._ He thought he was prepared for anything to happen upon entering but, he was horrible wrong. Upon entering the Common room, as he expected, all eyes were focused upon him and the silence was extremely potent. However, before he could take a step towards the stairs leading to the boy's dorm he was tackled! He looked up to see it was the deadly, beautiful, Bellatrix Black, and she was extremely happy. "Sev!" was all she said before She French kissed him! _What the bloody hell is going on!?_ Severus wanted to ask her what potions has she been huffing but, couldn't as she mushed his face into her breasts! "Sev, I heard you almost killed them all in one sweep! All these years, no one has ever done something so…so…arousing!" she said in a husky voice, as she began to stroke his hair. "Bella! Don't smother our hero!" said Rodolphus, as he pulled his (slutty) girlfriend off the poor boy. "Hero?" Severus said, his cheeks turning Gryffindor red with embarrassment. "Yes, Severus. You, are a hero! I didn't believe the rumors but, once the Headmaster spoke of it at dinner…well, it was all confirmed! You, my friend, are one extraordinary half-blood!" Regulus said excitedly, as he led Severus towards the fire. _What's going on!? Hero, me!?_ Severus was further confused when Malfoy gave him his favorite chair! "Sit in the Head boy chair, Severus! You deserve it!" Lucius said, as he patted his favorite chair. Severus hesitantly did as he was ask, as everyone gathered around him. Severus was quite disturbed to see every Slytherin staring at him with either awe or respect. "I died in that classroom." He said quietly, as he slunk down into the comfy chair. Laughter swept the Common Room which, was only stopped by Lucius raising his hand. "No, no Severus! You didn't die however, you did do the impossible! You sent 2 blood-traitors and a Mudblood to the Infirmary!" Lucius exclaimed, patting Severus on the back for the billionth time. "We're also in the lead for the House Cup!" interjected Avery, as he bounced up and down like a ball. "I was so taken aback when I heard Sirius was in the infirmary…well, I instantly wrote mother! She was so happy she wanted to give you this!" Narcissa said joyfully, as she handed him some sack. _The BLOODY HELL!?_ Severus could only mutely nod, as he took the sack. Within it was what had to be over 300 galleon! "Severus, you've proven to be worth more than I expected and because of this you've a bright, bright future!" Lucius said as he grasped Severus' face in his dainty hands. "Enough talk! Tell the story! I've been dying to hear it!" some random Slytherin begged.

***** Flashback End*****

It only continued to get better through the days! Many students that used to call him names or taunt him, didn't have the guts to look him in the eyes! If he wanted a chair, he'd get it. He wanted some peace and quiet, he'd get it! He wanted someone to carry his stuff, HE'D GET IT! The prominent Purebloods were now paying attention to him, and the lesser respected him! He couldn't say any spell starting with the word, "trans" without someone cowering or screeching! _Is this what Potter feels every day? Shite, I don't care if it doesn't last, I'm just glad to have had it!_ He thought joyfully, as he skipped his way towards the Grand Hall.

 **~Meanwhile~**

 _Haven't I seen this statue 7 times already?!_ Orihime was struggling to not freak out except, it was become quite apparent she was lost. However, this was primarily because of Peeves and her inability to resist animals. Here's how she got into this conundrum…

*****Flashback******

 _Haaaah. Thank Goodness, I found that restroom!_ Orihime felt she should pat herself on the back. Not only had she found the bathroom but, she also remembered the path she took! _Okay, it's left….take the stairs up…take two rights…a_ MEEEEOOOOOOW! Orihime instantly snapped out of her inner monologue at hearing such a pained sound. She whipped around to see quite the sight! She saw a tiny, transparent midget dangling a cat by its tail. The midget was wearing something a kin to a jester's clothing with each article having a different pattern. Within the midget's ghostly hands was quite the unique cat. The cat had huge eyes that shone like lamps that lined the roads at night. It had the appearance of being malnourished because of how easy it was to count each rib under its fur. Well, if that dusty, tangled and patchy mess could classify as fur. Now, any normal person would've left that morbid looking thing alone but, Orihime wasn't normal. She instantly deviated from her route and barreled towards Peeves! Peeves, being the dick he always is wasn't going to let his plaything go so easily. He darted down the corridor, dangling Ms. Norris like a bait on a fishing rod! " Catch me, if you can heifer!" Peeves said with a cackle. _Things just got jolly interesting!_ The battle lasted for a solid 3 hours before one of the two , she had somehow lost her shoes along the way and scrapped her knees Orihime was the victor! Her prize was whatever the hell Ms. Norris classified as!

*****Flashback End*******

Now, Orihime was shoeless, tired, hungry and extremely lost. _Well, at least I have this guy with me!_ She couldn't help but smile at Ms. Norris, who had taken a liking to the busty Ginger. She had seen several people along her way but, she was too scared to ask for assistance. If they happened to get a little to close she would either run or hide. However, could you really blame her considering what happened last time? So, with every second that past she got more lost and scared. Along the way she had gather quite the number of bruises which, were the result of the tricky stairs cases, hostile fake doors, and Peeves getting a little revenge. _Tatsuki was right! My foolishness would be my demise!_ She soon began to feel tears running down her face and decided to just sit down. She pulled her knees close to her chest and held the cat a little closer. _I'm hungry._

 **~Meanwhile~**

"I'm so stupid! Blimey, how'd I let so much time pass?" Lily said personally berating herself, as she sped down the corridor towards the Great Hall. She had been in the library previously, super absorbed in a very interesting charms book. _Where's that dumb shortcut!?_ Lily skidded around a corner and almost have a heart attack! _Merlin! One of those monsters is loose!_ She dived behind one of the many statues to avoid Orihime's sight. _Okay…breathe Lily. You're a Gryffindor so, show some courage! I'll look for its weakness and then I'll strike!_ Lily stealthfully peeked around the statue only to be taken severely off guard. What she saw was as heart wrenching as a puppy left out in the rain! The monster was hunched over with her knees drawn to her ample chest emitting a wimperish sound. Her dress was ripped around leg which, was probably due to falling and the skidding on the stairs. The beast was shoe-less and clutching the demonic pest known as Ms. Norris. Lily hesitated for a while however, her motherly disposition won in the end.

"Are you okay?" Lily said in the most nonthreatening voice possible. She suffered another pull to her heartstring when she saw how red the girl's eyes were. However, when all she got in response was a blank stare she was a little off put. _Okaaaaay. Guess I'll have to change tactics._ She put on a smile put his hand out to the distraught girl. _Tatsuki said, "Never trust strangers!" however, that was for men…and she's a girl...OR IS SHE!? What if she is one of the green men from my dreams!? Trying to trick me so, they can alter my taste buds meaning I'll only eat nato! Then, I'll have to spend all my money to satisfy my cravings which, means I'll have to sell my clothes or hair!_ Thus, began Orihime's ridiculous tangent of nonsense which, continued to get stranger. Lily was also a little off put by the rapid change upon the girl's face so, she just took initiative! Lily took her hand and made a peace sign, as too reassure the portal girl she wasn't in danger. _I guess I'll be even later for breakfast but…this might make it bloody interesting._ Lily resumed her track to the Great Hall with a devious smile, as she dragged the stranger and Ms. Norris along with her.

 **~Meanwhile~**

 _Oh Merlin, not again!_ Was all Remus could think as James began reenacting the "summoning story" for the millionth time. "And so I, the hero, had to do something to make sure none were hurt by the monster! I bravely approached as quiet and stealthy as any Quidditch star is able and attempted communication. Alas, I forgot anything Slytherin summon has to be evil especially, those summoned by Snivellus! So, it grasped my throat in its giant, spiky talons, my lungs were instantly a flame! _Aaaannnd here comes the finale._ Remus continued to eat his cereal, as he rolled his eyes at James's habit of exaggeration. "He dragged me in front of his face, all 4 eyes focused upon me! His snorts were releasing acidic smog and his growls showed all of his fangs!" James mimed it out going as far as to stand upon the table. "How many fangs did he have?!" asked some random Gryffindor girl, as she made every attempt to get closer to James. _Geeez. What an idiot._ "Why, he had 27, they each varied in length." James said, as he puffed his chest out. James would have continued butchering the truth if he hadn't been distracted by Lily's entrance. Scratch that, everyone was distracted by who was accompanying Lily.

"So, my name is Lily Evans. The boy with the yellow eyes is Remus Lupin. He's really shy but, kind. Next to him is Sirius black. Might want to avoid him because he's a prat. The mousy boy next to Black is Peter Pettigrew. He's an arse kisser of the group" Lily said in a whisper. "And the guy next to him is" but, Lily never got to finish her sentence. "Lily, my sweet! I was sooo worried and was soon to set out and find you! Who's the bird?" James said, attempting to get within Evan's good graces. "Stuff it, Potter! The rest of this row was lost to Orihime as she was too busy taking in the grander that was the Great Hall. Just like the Infirmary it was lit by candle however, these candles were supported by griffin gargoyles. The room had 4 massive tables, all bearing children that bore one color. Up front seemed to be several adults. All of which varied in shapes and sizes! In shiny green robes was what could only be a walrus, happily gorging itself on fruit. Beside him were your average grandmas, however one was covered in dirt and the other had a permanent scowl upon her face. Next to them was a man with the same build as Yachiru-chan, well she may actually be taller! Said man was quite caught up conversing with a giant. The most troublesome detail of the table was the centermost chair was empty. _Wonder who sits there._

Lily continued to drag the unresponsive girl towards their destination, trying to ignore the various stares they were getting. "Let's see…Oh there's Remus! Remus, meet…uh…her" Lily said excitable, as she dragged Orihime to sit next to her. The silence at the Gryffindor table was deafening. _Everyone's staring! Think Hime, what can you do to break the ice? I KNOW!_ Orihime did something…unique. She first took Remus' bowl of cereal and pitcher of milk. Then, she poured a generous amount of milk in the bowl, until it was at least three-fourths milk. And finished with dunking Ms. Norris in the bowl and doing a Ta-dah pose! Stupid as hell, I know…I know. The silence was instantly broken by Sirius and James' contagious laughter and soon all returned to normal. _Haaah, the cereal cat trick always works._ Orihime thought, as she mentally pat herself on the back.

"Hey, Evans who is this because she's hilarious?" Sirius questioned, as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Don't know since she hasn't been really talkative" Lily glanced at the strange girl currently patting a soaked cat. "Hey, what is your name?" she asked after she had got the girl's attention however, she only received another puzzled look. _Okay, there's some language barrier…wait…That's it!_ Lily whipped out her wand and pointed it at Orihime's mouth. "Samosa Linguista!" she said, as she did those wacky wand movements. _Hopefully, that works!_ Lily repeated the question and finally got a satisfying answer. "Oh, my name is Inoue Orihime! And you are?" she responded with a brilliant smile. "Oh, thank merlin! My name is Lily Evans. That's Peter, Remus, Black, and Potter." She said as she pointed to each boy accordingly. _Waaaait…those glasses…the messy hair..._ "You're the boy Grimmjow-kun almost killed!" Orihime exclaimed as she pointed at James. "Oh! I am very sorry for what Grimmjow-kun did to you, James-kun." She said as she performed Dogeza. I hope that wasn't too racist! "Uhhh…okay, just…uh stop doing that!" James exclaimed frantically, as he tried to pull Orihime up. _Jeez, make me look like a bloody big-headed prat._ "Wait, you're telling me that blue haired monster is named Grimmjow-kun!" James questioned exasperatedly. "You kinda deserved it, Potter. You're always running headfirst into danger and you never think. And don't give me that "Gryffindor Pride/bravery" because that's going to come back to bite you." Lily punctuated every word with a poke to the chest. "Hey Evans, that's being too harsh on James! He was trying to protect us all. Shouldn't you be giving our hero a kiss?" Sirius retorted as James leaned closer to Lily. The echo of the fist contacting face rebounded across the Grand Hall. "You remind me of my friend Tatsuki-chan, Lily!" Orihime said, as she watch Lily blow on her fist. "Who?" "Tatsuki-chan, she's never afraid to speak her mind or throw a punch. You'd really like her." _Actually they all remind me of one of my friends._ The rest of the conversation was again lost as Orihime became lost in thought. _Remus-kun totally reminds me of Ukitake-san. They both are shy, but look like they'd fight tooth and nail for their friends. They also look so sickly...wonder why. Hmmm…Sirius-kun would get along with Rangiku-san…both seem to flaunt their looks and aren't afraid to speak their minds. Man, I hope Rangiku-san isn't driving Captain Hitsugaya insane!_ She glanced over at Peter to see him eye-f**king James. _Kinda reminds me of Momo and how she saw Aizen…Aiz…AizenAizenAIZEN!_

All occupations within the Great Hall jumped when Orihime randomly screamed out "AIZEN!" "What's wrong Hime?!" was all Sirius could ask once he had recovered. To see the once airheaded, sunny ginger instantly, descend into a hysterical mess was quite upsetting to say in the least. "Aizen! As in Sosuke Aizen! Lily-chan, who summoned us! Orihime screamed as she shook Lily franticly. Before Lily could answer the Great Hall's doors burst open! It was none other than Severus Snape. All fingers pointed to the unexpecting Slytherin, even a few teachers joined in! _You know what, I'm not that hungry!_ Severus thought upon seeing so many eyes and fingers directed towards him. However, before he could slink off to some dark corner, he ran into a wall. _When did Hogwarts have a wall in the middle of the hallway!?_ He thought to himself as he ran his hand across the obstacle. _Strange, it's warm and…hmm?_ He stopped as he clutched something roundish. **"Hey, Cloaked C**ksucker! I don't pay by the hour!** Severus looked up to see his worst nightmare, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.


	7. Ch7 Who Let the Espada Out?

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Harry Potter

Author's Note: I do not agree with any of Grimmjow's insult I just tried to stay as in character as possible. Please review

Italicized= thoughts

 **Bold= Japanese**

Author note= underline

* * *

Grimmjow was real pissed when he awoke that morning.

He was expecting to wake up bleeding in the shit realm dubbed Hueco Mundo but, he didn't. Instead he awoke in a dinky bed under scratchy sheets and a lumpy pillow to rest his head upon. The room reminded him of Las Noches since it was very monotone in color and used candles to light the room which made him even angrier.

To his right was the Cuatro. He apparently was back to his old faggot self which, he was quite sad to see _._ Bad thing was all of the damage Ulquiorra had obtained was gone.

 _Guess the spear didn't kill the ass kisser._ _What a jip…wait a minute, my back isn't killing me!_ He looked down to see that like the Fourth, he was completely healed. Grimmjow scanned the room to see that there were several things out of place. One being Ichigo whom was perfectly healed however, wearing some frilly dress. _Suits him._ Nel's clothing and head wound were also fixed and bandaged. However, the biggest had to be Princesa was missing.

 _Hmmmm…girl seemed to have ran for it. Well, might as well join her!_ Unfortunately, when Grimmjow went to make his dastardly escape, he found he couldn't.

" **THE HELL ARE THESE!?** " he screamed upon seeing his wrists were chained.

" **Do you have to scream, Sexta**?" Grimmjow turned his head to see Ulquiorra's intense emerald eyes baring into him.

 _Great. He's up._ " **Oh, I'm sorry Ulquiorra! Unlike you, Aizen's lil sex slave, I'm not used to being chained to a bed!** " Grimmjow said, sending an equally intense glare back.

" **It seems that after we were rendered unconscious we were transferred to some sick bay. However, seeing as our actions hinted towards possible danger, they rendered us immobile. But more importantly, where is the Woman?** "

 _Oh ho ho! Batsy's still protective of her. Let's play upon that!_ " **Don't know. Might be lost or injured or maybe both. Let's not disregard hungry, scared and tired while we're at it. Hmmm…I remember quite clearly several teenage boys when we arrived. Hell, wouldn't put it pass them to take advantage of her ditzy personality and voluptuous body. Or maybe that old, bearded man is doing horrific experiments as penance of our behavior! Guess we'll just have to disregard their actions, won't we?** " He said playing Devil's advocate.

" **Raise your arms, Sexta. I'm going to cero those chains.** " Ulquiorra said, as he began powering his cero. Grimmjow raised his chains and praying Ulquiorra wouldn't purposely miss. However, amazingly the chains absorbed the entire blast! Both Espada looked at the chains with wide eyes. _Shit, that was…actually badass._

From there, the two arrancar spent a good hour trying to escape their chains using all sorts of tactics. " **Damn it! I don't think we're getting out of…** " Grimmjow stopped upon hearing an excruciatingly unsettling sound. Use URl to get full effect ( watch?v=B49xenFJR4o).

He looked over and saw the most upsetting image that'll forever haunt him throughout his existence. He saw Ulquiorra, Mr. Calm and calculating, EATING through his FuckKING wrists! What proceeded were the worst 30 seconds of Grimmjow's whole existence, and he'd seen Barragan completely naked! Soon, Ulquiorra was standing in front of him with regenerated wrists, wiping blood from his chin.

" **I know you're extremely depressed but, you're supposed to only cut your wrists. Not DEVOURE THEM!** " he said appalled at whatever he'd been subjected to witnessed.

" **Quiet, Trash before I consider leaving you here.** " He said as he reeled his foot back and smashed the stones Grimmjow's chains were linked to.

" **Thanks…but, I could've done that if I felt like it!** " Grimmjow said childishly.

They proceeded towards the door but, stopped upon hearing " **Where do you guys think you're going?** " Grimmjow couldn't help but smile at seeing Ichigo rendered helpless.

" **WE are leaving to find Princesa, YOU are being left here chained to a bed.** " Grimmjow said as he made exaggerated motions, the chains rattling with each movement.

" **Wait! You're leaving me here! The least you can do is free one of my wrists! Hey Ulquiorra!** " Ichigo pleaded as he tried to keep his anger under control. All he received was a blank stare from the Fourth and the bird from the Sixth as they left the infirmary. _Jeez, spare both their lives and this is the thanks I get!_ Ichigo thought to himself, as he started planned his escape.

* * *

The two arrancars were currently surveying the surroundings they were inexpertly dumped in, one indifferent the other grouchy.

" **Soooo…how'd your fight turn out?** " Grimmjow said, breaking the silence between the two.

" **I foolishly underestimated Kurosaki Ichigo's determination to save those he values. It was because of this miscalculations, I lost.** " The Fourth said in his typical indifferent way.

" **So…he cheated?** "

" **Yes, he cheated immensely.** " Just then, a greasy haired boy ran smack dab into Grimmjow.

 **"Hey Cloaked Cocksucker, I don't pay by the hour."** Grimmjow had to fight his laughter upon seeing the horror his presence brought upon the boy.

Severus knew his happiness wasn't meant to last since his life is destined to be miserable but, even this had to be a little too much. Staring right back at him was his worst nightmare, his summoning except, ten times worse. Unlike last time the monster was healed! The monster towered over him adorned in strange, white muggle clothing. The jacket was open showing a massive scar and a blood hole in the stomach! The jacket had its sleeves rolled up showing his perfectly muscular arms. Within the sash was a frighteningly sharp sword, the handle an ocean blue. The monster's hair was spikey, lightning blue which perfectly fit the dangerous vibe it excreted. However, Severus couldn't draw his eyes away from its face. The monster had the craziest eyes and the sharpest teeth he'd ever seen!

His fears rose when he saw the monster wasn't alone! Accompanying the blue haired maniac was an equally scary creature! It had the same style clothing except, it was covering itself more. It had pitch black hair which, half of it was covered by a weirdish bone helmet! Like its companion it had a sword but, its handle was forest green. The scariest thing were its eyes which, were green pools of nothing! All Severus's mind could think to do is scream so, he did.

Lucius Malfoy didn't think the day could get any more interesting but, he was horribly wrong. First, the Mudblood Evans brings in that banging hot woman Severus summoned. Then, said sexy girl starts to freak out and continues to repeat the name Aizen. But, the event that took the cake happened 30 seconds after Severus had ran back down the Main Hall. If he were asked to describe the sound he heard, he really couldn't which out him sounding like a complete loon. It's what one gets when your father shoves his cane up a house elf for scuffing his 100 galleon shoes. Or what one's father heard when he walked in on a house elf and a pixie shagging because a certain 6 year old thought he could handle a wand. He also wasn't expecting to be barreled over by a Severus, who was scared absolutely shitless.

"Snape, what in the bloody hell has gotten into you!?" He said, blushing upon seeing all eyes had shifted to him.

"Lucius, you know how you said, "you've made a powerful ally" Well, I need that power now!" Severus said as he clutched Lucius' 100% griffin silk robes. (Don't ask how that's possible, he's rich). 

"What the HELL, are you talking about!?" Lucius said, his face getting redder and his robes getting sweatier because of Severus. Severus could only point towards the door with an extremely shaky arm. All eyes followed his finger, only to see nothing come from the Great Hall's double doors. Just then the wall directly beside said doors had a hole smashed in it!

 **"Do you have some inane animosity towards doors, Sexta?"**

 **"Fuck you and your proper usage of doors!"**

The room quieted upon the entrance of the new arrivals. The mere powerful aura emitted by the two rendered all the teachers and students motionless. Lily quickly and ever so quietly preformed the Samosa Linguista spell.

 **"Ahhh,** **Prince** sa! We've in which, I mean Batshit over there, have been worried about you. Where were you?" Grimmjow said as he sauntered towards the previously hysterical girl.

"Grimmjow-kun and Ulquiorra-kun, where have you been? And where's Ichigo." Orihime said slightly calmed by the presence of familiar faces.

"He's a little *chuckle* tied up." Grimmjow smiled devilishly.

* * *

 **~Meanwhile~**

" **Think I won't go full *Errr* hollow again! I'll be like, "Roar" and those two will *Grrr* be all "EEEEK! Don't hit me cause I'm so weak and you're so amazingly awesome!" and Grimmjow will totally be…*Grunt* "Sorry, I left you tied up. You're so *Huff* cool and I wish I could be as awesomely *Ouch!* strong and handsome!** " Ichigo ranted as he continued to hack at his wrist shackles with Zangetsu. " **See if I hesitate GRIMMJOW**!"

* * *

 **~Meanwhile~**

"Oh…okay, I just remembered while we're here Aizen is enacting his plan! We need to leave!" Orihime said clutching Grimmjow's clothing.

"…Okay, I know I'm gonna sound quite dickish but, why care? Isn't his plan involve stealing some key from Soul Society and some King Soul…giving…gratitude?" Grimmjow shrugged. _Why pay attention to King BItchcurl when I can stare at Halibel's juicy rack?_

"Grimmjow, if you had paid any attention during Aizen-sama's briefing you'd know that Wonderweiss, the top three Espada and their fracción were to go with him and the other two generals to Karakura. From there, they were to destroy any obstacles from the way for him to turn all the souls within the town into a key." He just blinked when he heard several children within earshot gasp.

"Exactly, so we need to get back to…our realm! Have you seen a teen with an overly sizable nose, greasy looking hair, and a moody demeanor?" Orihime said miming the boy's description.

All eyes turned towards the hunched ball that was currently trying to phase into the side of Lucius. _Oh shite! Oh shite! Please merlin, don't screw me over for one time!_ As he watched his summoning's hand get closer and closer, the rattle of the chains getting louder!

"My, my I always thought the Great Hall needed redecorating however, I was thinking along the lines of carpeting."

All eyes whipped around towards the new arrival. It was Dumbledore and all his glory! Today, he was sporting bright maroon robes that had a patchwork pattern. Within each patch was a different pattern stitched into it, the pattern ranging from dots to swirls. As always they were both seizure and vomit inducing as ever! Both Espadas reached for their swords, both wanting revenge for the several disgraces the man had caused.

 _I'm gonna cut this senile, dress wearing, wrinkled, bearded shit!_ However, before they drew their zanpakutō some animalistic sense stopped them. The smile upon the old face told of kindness and yet swift and harsh discipline, much like Gin's creepy smile. The man gave off the essence of ten Aizens but the kindness of Stark. (I couldn't think of any Arrancar/Espada that's really nice so, I guessed.)

"Why'd those two stop?" James whispered to Sirius.

"Better yet, why'd they ashen and step back?" Sirius murmured back.

"Now, how about you all come with me and introduce yourselves! We wouldn't want any more confusion. Or would we?" Dumbledore said loud enough for all to hear. "Oh! Wait, you had two other companions we'll need to retrieve! What are their names, if I might ask?" Dumbledore said whipping out his wand, ignore the Bleach crew's flinch.

"Nel and Bitchigo." Grimmjow said bluntly.

"Um…It's Kurosaki-kun." Orihime said correcting Grimmjow's insulting information.

"Thank you, my dear girl. Accio-Nel! Accio-Kurosaki-kun!"

* * *

 **~Meanwhile~**

" **Just a little…MORE!"** Ichigo said excitably as he basked in the satisfaction and the cheers of Nel!

" **Yeah! Itsygo!** " the fully conscious Nelliel cheered. Ichigo smiled at the little arrancar then, leaned over to begin on the next one. However, just then he and Nel were lifted into the air!

 **"What the hell?!"** Ichigo screamed as he was propelled through the several decorative halls. Nelliel and his journey ended with them flying through two giant doors and up several stairs. Only to end with the two in front of some colorfully dressed, old man.

"Samosa Linguista!" Dumbledore said flicking his wand at the confused teen and toddler's mouths.

"Good. Now, if you would please stand next to your friends here." He said, helping the young, disoriented man to his feet. Ichigo seriously had to restrain himself when he saw the douche smile Grimmjow flashed him.

"Ahem! Hello, students of Hogwarts! As you've all noticed we have several new faces within our humble school. Three weeks ago, Severus Snape did quite the magnificent summoning spell! But, no matter how stupendous the spell was there were repercussions! Those repercussions are the five strangers standing next to me. Who are named…your names please?" Dumbledore said looking at the obviously hesitant portal people.

"Oh! Um…My name is Inoue Orihime, I'm 16 and a student at Karakura High School!" Orihime said with a bow.

"Hel-Hello, my name is Kurosaki Ichigo, I'm 16 and attend Karakura High School! Pleased to meet you all!" Ichigo said, doing as Orihime had done.

"Ulquiorra Cifer, Cuatro Espada." Ulquiorra said, scanning all the occupants with his intense eyes.

"I'm Neliel Tu Oderschvank, former Tres Espada, well that's what I'm told! But, you can all call me Nel!" Nel exclaimed excitably, as she waved both hand and smiled wide.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Sexta Espada. Oh! Before I forget, fuck you." Grimmjow said, his last comment directed towards Dumbledore.

"Ho, ho! Aren't you the feisty one? Well, I know you may have a torrent of questions which, I will answer after we get all of you settled!" he said lackadaisically.

"WAIT! Settled?! That hints towards an extended stay?!" Ichigo said fearfully.

'Hush, all will be answered. Now, if you'd follow that house elf, he'll lead you to your accommodations!" Dumbledore said happily, watching the five Bleach characters follow the puny, pillowcase wearing house elf although with much hesitation.

"Nowww, students and staff, I'm not going to lie nor will I sugarcoat the situation we're currently within. We dodged the biggest disaster Hogwarts has ever faced in all the years it has existed. The beasts that dominate the realm in which, Mr. Snape pulled from could've and would've slaughtered all they saw."

Dumbledore raised his hand to quiet all the murmurs that rose with that statement.

"That said, don't for any reason attack these people unless it's in self-defense, even then a teacher will be nearby. However, don't be hesitant in interacting with these people. Yes, they may be unique but, so are all of you! Teach them what Hogwarts has to offer and I'm sure they'll return the favor! Now, for dealing with such chaos expertly…no homework for two weeks!" Dumbledore proclaimed, tiny fireworks accompanying the speech's conclusion. Every student, regardless of age, began cheering and celebrating!

* * *

 **~Later~**

Dumbledore had just began his trek down the Great Hall's hallway when he was blocked by Minerva McGonagall.

"Headmaster Dumbledore! I've never been one to question your decisions, however illogical they may seem but, I can't overlook this! You have a habit of seeing the good in people while ignoring all other warnings or flaws but, this is...is BLOODY crazy! That…that blue haired monster choked a student! They were soaked in blood much like those psycho muggle murderers! They also seem to be adolescents, meaning CHILDREN, who are carrying WEAPONS! Why're you letting these unknown, possible monstrosities roam freely around the STUDENTS we swore to protect!?" the frazzled witch exerted herself so badly, she was actually panting.

"Haaaah. There's a storm approaching, a storm that carries nothing but death and destruction. Minerva, I'm letting these "monstrosities" freely roam because I need to gain their trust and possible loyalty. Dare I say, their power will be crucial in Hogwarts' survival." Dumbledore said, his tone nothing but dead serious.

With that said, the headmaster turned to continue on his way, leaving behind a stunned Transfiguration teacher. The sound of his loafers hitting the cobblestone floors was the only sound heard throughout the halls of the Magical school.

 **To Be Continued…**


	8. Dumbledore wants U to join the DA edited

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach or harry potter

Italics= thoughts

Underline=author's notes

Special thanks to **Rotrox** for the awesome debate we had on power levels and other stuff! It gave me many ideas that I think you'll will enjoy. And as always don't hesitant to comment upon the work! Its dedicated reader's comments and complaints that improve a fanfic!

I recently got a review that said the chapter was unreadable.*blush* that's really embarrasses! So very sorry about that! **So here's the edited version.**

* * *

"Stop your godd**m pacing! It's giving me an f**king headache!" Grimmjow screamed at the frantic strawberry-haired boy circled the same track for the hundredth time. _Boy actually puts Stark's parasitic twin to shame._ Said teen had been pacing the room ever since they had arrived, so much it was leaving a rut! _But, for such a sh**y castle I've got to give it points for the room._

The room the house elf had lead them to be…well, perfect. The biggest room in the dormitory was the living room which, they currently were in. The walls weren't stone like one would expect, instead they were dry wall painted a shade of ivory. In the room were two dark mocha colored couches facing each other with a wooden coffee table in the middle. It had a big fireplace and several tapestries here and there. Also, within the dormitory were five rooms, one for everyone, with each designed to fit the character. Ichigo's was exactly like his room in Karakura town, as was Orihime's. Ulquiorra's and Grimmjow's were much like Orihime's cell except, they had a king sized bed in it. Oddly, Nel's was a replica of a common cave one'd see in Hueco Mundo. It even had the same sand!

 _It's like someone read our minds and desi-"_ STOP YOUR PACING OR I'LL BREAK YOUR LEGS!" Grimmjow screeched.

"Don't you get it!? Think! Why would we need lodging if it doesn't mean we're staying here for more than one day!?" Ichigo said waving his hand frantically.

"Kurosaki-kun, maybe it's here for guests, not because we're staying here." Orihime said calmly, trying to placate her soon to be mentally insane friend.

"Oh yeah!? Why's it an exact replica of my room, huh?! Every detail, right down to the f**king hole in the wall I left when I ran my head in the wall at AGE 10?! It's like they…they knew we were" "Coming" Dumbledore said, finishing Ichigo's sentence. All occupants within the room flinched or jumped at the arrival of the headmaster.

"Sorry to interrupt but, you seemed to be on the verge of needing a trip to St. Mungos! *Ahem* Hello, my name is Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, at your service!" he concluded with a bow. All he received was a long stretch of silence, which was only broken by Ulquiorra.

"Did you just say, "Witchcraft and wizardry" like such a notion or ability was physical possible by human beings with no altercations, body modifications or traits attained through evolution? Next, by school, your insinuating this castle is a place that tutors those in ways of witchdom, correct?" he questioned as his face formed its first expression, a subtle "you're s**ting me, right?" face.

"That's a double yes!" Dumbledore said, purposely ignoring the looks of incredibly and skepticism.

"F**k it. I rather be in that monotone-colored, destroyed structure that reeks with Aizen's hair gel than this loony bin." Grimmjow said, aggravated at the fact both options sucked. He did the cliché drip of the finger in midair to summon a garganta but, nothing happened. He repeated the motion again. Again. And again. Nothing.

"Haaaah, Ulquiorra could you stop questioning the rambling of a senile old man and open a garganta." Grimmjow said after he'd sucked up his pride.

"Sexta, I've already attempted to open a garganta in every location we've been to which, have all resulted in failure."

"Wha- wh- how is that possible?!" Ichigo rasped out, his voice gone just like his hopes of getting to Aizen.

"I'll be the explainer of said question and a lot more. But first, have a seat!" Dumbledore with a swish of a wand summoned a fluffy pink chair underneath each occupant's bottom.

"Wow! See Grimmy! Alpus wasn't telling lies!" Nel exclaimed pointing at a very bewildered Grimmjow.

"Nor was I when I said I'd kick you into a wall!" When all he received was a raspberry from the arran-tot, Albus, seeing the eminent danger, took to adding a binding charm to his chair.

"Now, let's address the Hippogriff in the room, which is why your gargantas aren't working. It isn't that they are malfunctioning, they're just not powerful enough. You utilize them to go between your realms, human to Las Noches to Soul Society and vice versa, right?" Dumbledore proceeded to make tiny replicas of each realm. "Well, the strain place upon the portal isn't great since the realms are relatively close together. This however, is another dimension." Dumbledore paused to let the information sink in with each Bleach character.

"Question." Orihime said once she had collected her thoughts.

"Yes, my dear."

"H-how so you know all this stuff?" a chorus of yeses followed her question.

"Magic." Dumbledore said holding his wand for all of them to see. _That and your silly little brain, Orihime!_

"Okay, sure, magic. I don't particularly care if you cut open our heads to get the information! I need to know when and how do we get back to OUR dimension! Cause I don't know if you guys remember but, someone named AIZEN is trying to kill everyone we know! We need to get back there and help win the fight against the biggest traitor Soul Society has ever known!" Ichigo said rallying his "comrades".

"Hmph, I'm not praising the egomaniac but, you, your friends, and your town are royally f**ked." Grimmjow said as he fantasied about the wonderful carnage Ichigo would return to.

"O-oh yeah, well…at least I didn't lose my rank to a shim!" Ichigo retorted. Thus began a long spree of verbal abuse from Grimmjow and Ichigo, which the others converted to background noise.

"*Ahem* As I was saying, your gargantas aren't working but, If you give me at least 14 days to accumulate the power and I'll be able to send all five of ya' back to your dem-wait…no." Dumbledore hesitated and donned his best fake devastated face. _Come on…take the bait!_

"What's wrong?" Orihime said.

 _Hook, line and sinker!_ "Well, to do that I'd have to stop using my energy to protect the school and students! Oh, *sniff* i-if only someone or a few people could help me! But, *sniff* I can't just strand you here! Oh, why Merlin?! Why!?" He turned his back to the Bleach Crew, to hide his smile. _And Grinderwald thought those acting lessons were a waste._

"Hey! We can help!" Orihime (the gullible/loveable idiot) said determined to provide a solution for the problems being presented.

"Onna, I would very much appreciate not involving my a-"Ulquiorra mind went blank once he looked over at Orihime. She was leaning over her chair arm, invading his personal space completely, her cinnamon body wash filling his nose and her hair smelled of vanilla. Due to her posture her bust was further accentuated which, didn't seem possible. Her lips in a pouting position and her eyes holding that fiery defiance, which he loved. _You can do this…you are calm a-and…s**t._ "fine, I'll assist you, Albus-sama." Ulquiorra said, crossing his legs and trying to stop the R-rated fantasy playing in his mind.  Key words: whipped cream, maid, punishment.

"Yeah, so it's decided! All five of us will protect the school!" Orihime said with a voice of finality.

Upon hearing Orihime's statement Grimmjow and Ichigo said in unison, "WHAT!? NO WAY!"

"But, why?" she asked, confused at their passionate refusal. Now, each boy had a number of facts, options, even statistics as to why they shouldn't help but, those all went up in smoke upon seeing/feeling the ominous glare of Ulquiorra. It was basically scream, "Disagree and you'll become a eunuch!"

"I mean, there's no way we could n-not help y-you guys, right G-Grim-!" Ichigo managed to squeak out.

"Ye-yeah, *Gulp* totally!" Grimmjow muttered a weak confirmation.

"So glad you're all so willing! Oh, but before I forget! If any students end up dead and you are the leading cause I'll f**k you up so bad a deaf, mute, and blind quadriplegic would be stronger than you." Dumbledore said, in with the most serious and scariest voice one could imagine, all while smiling. Each Bleach character dumbly nodded, all imprinting the threat within their brains. "Great! Tootles!" And with that the Headmaster exited the door, it shutting ever so quietly.

All they could do is look at each other in silence, until Grimmjow shattered it when he interjected with, "Did he just Aizen us?"

* * *

 **THE NEXT DAY**

Sirius felt terrible. His eyes couldn't stay open and his feet felt like they were made of lead but, that's what a night of no sleep can do to oneself. _Uggh, I wouldn't suck if I had done something worth staying up for!_ He, like many others he assumed, hadn't gotten an ounce of sleep because they were thinking about Snape.  And no, not in a sexual way!

All night he was plagued with images of carnage unlike any other! His subconscious git of a mind had imaged bloody classrooms, a decimated Hogsmeade and the campus of Hogwarts littered with the corpses of students, teachers, and his best friends! He didn't know which he hated most, the settings he imagined or the beasts he created! The beast had ranged in sizes, colors and shapes but, all were terrifying! He remembered the Nundu-like creature with its sharp nails and teeth, tearing into James' rib-cage as it crushed Peter underneath its hand-like paws! The horror of watching as its blue fur getting bloodier and bloodier, most of it pouring into the hole its stomach! Or that dementor-like human with the giant, veiny, bat wings! Its tail whipping around, snapping necks in great speeds, as its demonic claws tore Lily's flesh to ribbons! Luckily, he had instantly woken up when the monstrosity turned to look in his eyes! He remembered how the face was completely black, sans the green lines running down its face.

He couldn't even muster the energy too look at James when he'd said, "Hey *yawn* Padfoot, did you sleep at all cause you almost look like Snivellus' twin." Nor could he throw a playful punch at such a scathing/playful taunt.

"Yeah, well you're aren't that pretty either!" he said at the extremely haggard looking Seeker. _Jeez, almost looks like Mooney after a full moon!_

"Couldn't sleep, kept thinking about what Dumbledore had told us…you know about the danger those guys pend? I mean…yeah." Sirius could only nod his head at James' "explanation" as they stumbled their way towards the Great Hall for a late breakfast. When they arrived they saw a huge herd of frightened students of all ages and houses, gathered around the entrance. As they jostled their way towards the door they kept hearing things along the lines of, "You first!", "I'll go, if you go." and "What if they're in there?!"

 _*Sigh* guess me and Prongs weren't alone._ "People, people, people…calm down. As the ever brave, popular, and deathly handsome, Sirius and I will do the honors." James proclaim, trying to be the hero of the situation. People 100 miles away could've heard the sigh of relief the herd let out. "O-o-okay! I'm going to open the door!" James announced.

 **One minute passed**

"Just getting…started!"

 **10 Minutes later...**

"Almost there!"

 **15 minutes later...**

"Just warming up!"

 **20 minutes later...**

"You know, do we really need lunch? I mean…Wizard obesity is at an all-time high! Heh…heh." James said, feeling his cheeks redden and sweat pouring down his face.

"Move, Potter." was all Lily said before shoving him aside and slipping inside.

"Lily, my darling? Wait!" Prongs said, clambering to his feet and running inside, dragging Sirius along by his robes.

What the two saw was anything short of amazing. In front of his precious Lily, Peter and Remus was something one'd see in those funny Muggle mavie or whatever they're called. There was ample piles of food disappearing at a scary rate. He could see plates of food popping out at 20 plates per second only to be cleared in one! _Curiosity killed the cat but, safety be damned!_ They rushed to see what the cause of the phenomenon was. When they got closer they heard Lily say, "So, if you guys feed off spirit particles why're you eating human food?"

"Cause your f**king air is so d**n barren when it comes to reishi we could actually die of starvation! So, it's either eat gallons of this useless human food s**t or one of your delicious and nutrient rich souls." They turned around and decided to skip their breakfast when they recognized that voice but, stopped upon hearing,

"Oh! Hey, James-kun and Sirius-kun!"

 _Shite!_ Both boys reluctantly turned back and clunked down directly across from Orihime and the rest of her crew. Orihime was no longer wearing her ripped, sandy, speckled with blood dress instead, she was wearing a white, short sleeve shirt with a pale yellow, sleeveless cardigan. Around her neck was a red bow. However, both boys were concentrating more upon her breakfast, which was a cereal/eggs mixture topped in butter and yogurt!

 _Woah, really can't judge a book by its cover._ To the left of her was Ichigo, who also wasn't wearing what he originally wore. He was wearing, like Orihime, a white short sleeve shirt and grey pants topped off with a scowl adorning his face, as he ate his bacon and eggs.

To Orihime's right was that sad looking guy. _What was his name again? Yukiara, right?_ He was wearing what he had yesterday, with the same dangerous presence emitting from him. Sirius never thought shoveling food into ones mouth by the handful could look so elegant and beautiful. Beside him was the psycho, I mean Grimmjow. He, like Ulquiorra, had the same clothing and was shoveling food into his mouth. But, unlike Ulquiorra, he had a kinda "savage cannibal finds fat passenger" style of eating. And beside him was the ever adorable Nelliel. She was so small she had to sit on several books and was currently chugging a gallon worth of applesauce. _Don't these guys know you change clothes every day, I mean variety!_ Hey kettle! It's me, Pot! You're black.

They ate in a relatively tense silent, except for the some strange clattering sound. _What is that?_ Sirius looked over to see Prongs shaking viciously, his Gandalf Flakes sloshing wildly in his bowl of milk. Though that was to be expected, seeing as he was sitting directly across from his attempted murderer. As one would expect with all his shaking and chattering, he promptly spilled the milky contents all over himself.

"D**n it! *Sigh* Oh well, Scourgify." he pointed at his milk soaked robe and within an instant it was clean. James looked up to find ten eyes, ranging from brown all the way to pink, staring in extreme amazement.

"Umm, are you o-"Do that again!" James was cut off by Ichigo, which was followed with a chorus of yeahs from the others.

"Umm…I'd need something to…clean-" before he could say up, Nel had dumped the applesauce she was eating all over Grimmjow's hakama. It literally took Ulquiorra and Ichigo's combined strength to hold the furious Sixth Espada back. They also had Orihime cover his mouth, to muffle the filthy swears and horrifying threats spewing out at rapid speed. Yes, yes I have been using a lot of food ex machinas.

Sirius almost choked upon his bagel at the hysterically comedic scene! _Merlin! How'd I get through four years without this!?_ He would've and could've spent the whole day watching the scene but, Mooney interrupt with, "We've got to get to Transfiguration before we get detention…again."

 _Geez! That class has become as boring as The History of Magic! If only…Blimey!_ Sirius, (being one to act first, think later) asked, "HEY GUYS! Wanna see some real magic?"

* * *

 **To Be Continued…**


	9. Chapter 9: Poor, poor Minerva!

Disclamier: I don't own bleach or Harry potter

This took me the longest to write. I never thought writing from Ulquiorra's point of view would be so difficult! Well, I hope I did it justice and thanks to **Ulsha** for informing me about the problem with chapter 8, probably wouldn't have ever know about it! However, now I'm rabbling so here's the next chapter and don't forget to leave any criticism you have (I love feedback)!

Underlined= author's note

 _Italics=thoughts_

 **[Bold]** = note

"Longbottom, if you don't hurry with that bag I might use my wand!" Snape hollered back at his little Gryffindor servant, Frank Longbottom. Yes, it seemed his happiness was meant to last for a long time and he owed it all to Dumbledore. _The old man finally did something right!_ Ever since that speech of his quoting all the dangers Severus could've brought upon them led to a domino effect. The level of fear rose, causing the taunts and insult to end completely, which made his ego rise! Yep, Severus' power had reached heights unknown and he was determined to ride that train through the rest of the semester! The halls cleared as Severus made his way toward Transfigurations, his worst class, with his new pack of accomplices. No longer did he sit and walk alone like some big nosed loser or a socially awkward ragamuffin! He now prowled the halls with Lucius Malfoy (blond-haired Galleon bag on legs), Narcissa Black (Gender bender Malfoy), Rodolphus LeStrange (crazy b**ch banging Ginger) and Bellatrix Black (voted most likely to castrate husband). Soon the dangerous group of Slytherin had arrived at the dreaded classroom, only to find a couple of new "students" and their enemy already there.

 _We followed the black, wavy haired teen to the Transfiguration classroom, with the belief there will be more magical activity like that done during breakfast. However, based upon the flash of a devilish grin upon asking the question, it's quite likely to be a ploy in creating hysteria within the classroom as a way to liven up the general atmosphere within the classroom. Hmm, he doesn't pend any threat to Hogwarts nor the Onna's protection, most likely just a hindrance upon the other student's opportunity to learn. Threat level minimal, no execution deemed necessary._ Ulquiorra thought as he analyzed every aspect of their journey and the probable outcomes that may occur on reaching their destination. The Transfiguration classroom was quite eccentric design-wise. Within the Victorian style classroom were simple two-seater desks lining the left and right, leaving a pathway down the middle.

"Higher! Higher!" Ulquiorra glanced over to see Lily raising Nel by her armpits, obviously trying and failing to reach the demanding tot's expectations. _Lily Evans, first witch Onna encountered upon her trip, heavily maternal to a fault. However, seems to be a leader among the student population and the staff, her assistance will be essential for a quick integration, pends no threat to school survival._ Along the desk were various birds in cages, some looked quite upsettingly like they were from the Paleozoic Era which were currently being hassled by the remaining members of Ulquiorra's group. "Hey! What's this dinky one" Ichigo asked as he pointed to some bird. "Th-that's a-a-a-a Espèce." James squeaked from behind Pettigrew, who was his lumpy shield from the Sexta.

 _James Potter, very popular and carries an unhealthy hero-complex, currently terrified of Grimmjow which I can manipulate. Threat level as of now: minimal. Possible Damage being destruction of meaniful items and scraps with other students. Peter Pettigrew…trash._ Unlike the others, who were stupidly gawking at extraordinary birds, his sights were set upon a more extraordinary sight than any bird could achieve. He was watch the enigma that is Remus Lupin. _Remus Lupin, a meek, sickly and un-confrontational wizard. However, his reishi suggests something different, threat level undetermined, necessity of execution undetermined as of now._ "Ulquiorra-kun! I want you to meet…..kittytana!" Orihime said enthusiastically as she jammed some cat into his face, successfully pulling him from his thoughts. "Isn't she cute, I mean it looks like she wearing spectacles? I found her exiting the teacher's office!" She said pressing her face to the cat's forehead, "Here! Feel how soft she is!" With that she dropped the cat into his arms. Having absolute no experience with any living animal he ended up supporting the poor beast with its back in the crux of his arm with his hand cupping its groin. The awkwardness was heightened further by the cat staring at him with a blush on its cheeks. _Can felines blush?_ "Well, well, well. Seems our professor's enjoying our special guests a little too much, if I do say so myself."

Ten heads whipped around to find a handsome Ginger, two dangerously attractive blonds, a drop dead gorgeous black-haired beauty…and the runt of some gnome/troll litter. "Hi, my name is Bellatrix Black, I'm the second oldest daughter of the oldest and noblest Black Family, and I'm a pureblood and I'm sure we'll be very, very, good friends." She said with a purr, as her eyes honed on our Espada boys. Seeing their mortal enemies honing in on the Bleach crew, Sirius stepped forward. "Ah! If it isn't my lovely sisters and their boyfriends. Oh! And of course, their latest pet: a greasy charity case!" Sirius said, as he gave Bellatrix a fake, brotherly hug which she reciprocated with a kidney punch. "We didn't come to speak with you traitors! We came to converse with our current foreign dignitaries.*Ahem* Hello, my name is Lucius Malfoy and I must say you five are quite the exotic visitors, pardon my French. Seeing as you all are new here, you'll need connections and I feel like I must provide aid! My father is and has been the School Governor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for 34 years. While the Malfoy Family is quite favored among those in the Ministry of Magic. I'm the current Prefect for the Slytherin, as well as the Captain and Seeker in Quidditch! Let's just say I have…a wide array of special privileges, which I don't hesitate providing to "friends"." Lucius concluded his bratty speech with placing his hand on Ulquiorra's forearm. Silence ensued (as did the awkwardly intimate touch) till it was broken by the entrance of the remaining students. "Piss off, Lucius! Come on guys, you can sit with us." Lily said, making sure the Slytherin are sitting far, far away.

Before Ulquiorra could get to his seat the cat he had been manhandling leapt from his arms and transformed into the woman he recalled seeing when he first arrived. _Interesting. So, the beings in this dimension have the same abilities as that of_ _Yoruichi Shihōin_ _. I'll have to find a way in which I can research this further._ However, once again Orihime interrupted his ponderings with a shriek. "Kami! Not you too!" he heard Kurosaki exclaim. Ulquiorra glanced back to see…he couldn't really describe what he was seeing. Behind him was Orihime, covering her eyes, as her face flushed tomato red. While Ichigo had his hand covering Neliel's eyes and his head turned away, his face was also quite red. "What the f**k are you two gingers doing?" Grimmjow asked, when the teens continued to hold their strange positions. "Huh? Why isn't she naked?" Ichigo asked when he finally looked at Ms. McGonagal. The heavy and terrifyingly awkward silence that followed that sentence nearly suffocated the flustered shimigami. "I-I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT! I—WE have a FRIEND with the same ability! But, she always comes back naked! NOT THAT I WANT HER TO BE NAKED! THATWOULDBESOWIERD! Nor do I want you n-n-naked!" Ichigo rambled and screamed out, all while his face turned dangerously red. The silence and stares just continued, even as he and the rest took their seats.

As they took their seats Sirius saw James wasn't looking so good and quickly sent him a note. **[Hey Prongs! you okay?]** **[Am I okay? Padfoot! I literally can't stop shaking, I'm doused in sweat, and I might get detention!]** James sent back. **[Detention? Why?]** "CAUSE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" James silently screamed back. Sirius had to duck the hex James aimed at him, **[What are you doing?! Is the great and powerful James Potter scared?]** James had to do a double take after reading such a question, **[Scared?! Padfoot, I've faced a werewolf every full moon since 2** **nd** **year. I didn't register my form despite the fact I could go to jail. I've had 2 weeks of detention with Filch and left smiling. I'm not scared, it's called fight-or-flight! You…DIVVY! I've had to use a drying charm like clockwork because I'm sweating bullets! My very pride is dying because I can't suck it up in front of LILY! You might not get it but, I almost died at Grimjow's or however you say his name, very hands! And you called him and his crew along with us!]** Sirius could taste the hate coming from the message.

" **[** **James, James, James…don't you get it? I know I've done or will do some real stupid things** (i.e. Whomping Willow Incident) **. But, trust me when I say you'll appreciate this. Plus, haven't you realized how Evans has not only been talking to you, but even starting the bloody conversation! At least give it a chance, I'm Sirius!** **]** **"** Sirius wrote back to his friend, a reassuring smile upon his face.

"H-hello class, um…to-day we'll be tran-transfiguring frogs into…into quills, I guess." Our absolutely flustered Transfiguration Teacher said. "I'm going to...to sit and…and think about…yeah" with that Minerva let her head hit her desk. Luckily, the students got to work and left the poor witch alone.

 **45 minutes later**

The class continued peacefully without any frantic outbursts, just the normal taking of notes and the implementation of said notes. James was mid-incantation when he was interrupted by someone poking his shoulder. "What do you-ACK!?" James nearly blew up his frog because of the sudden fright. He look over and came face to face with Grimmjow! He had completely invaded James' personal bubble, so much so he could literally feel Grimmjow's breath on his cheeks. (Do hollows breathe? Welp, now they do!) "I and Strawberry are in a deadlock. He says that thing is a guy but, that's got to be a chick. Just really, really flat!" James followed his finger to find he was point at Lucius, he completely lost it. The ending result: the sudden spontaneous combustion of one frog, the mess splattered all over Ichigo, Grimmjow, Sirius and himself.

The four boys' head whipped around upon hearing an elegant and refined laugh. "As usual, "the Marauders" are sitting in their own filth. However, what can one expect when you hang with inferior magic wielders. Hence why you, Ichigo and the rest should stick with my crowd of **Purebloods** , the true superiors." Lucius's little group of (Neo-Nazis) purebloods, all but Severus. However, before either of the two offended teens could enact revenge with their wands, Lucius' frog suffered the same fate as James, the bloody pieces littered his clothing, hair, and supplies.

"Haaah, I'd give you each another frog but, the bell's due to rings in a few minutes. Just…do 6 feet of parchment on amphibian transfiguration as a replacement." The Deputy Headmaster said tiredly, as she raised her head from her desk. James had a tiny smile adorn his face upon seeing the tiny stream of smoke coming from Grimmjow's palm.

 ***RRRiIIIIIIIINNNNNG***

Before Remus and Lily could follow the crowd of departing students, they were grabbed by their exhausted teacher. "I won't keep you long but, do me one favor. For the sanity and well-being of the whole Hogwarts' faculty have our guests on an incredibly short leash." Ms. McGonagall advised the two Gryffindor.

"Sooooo, what's next on the schedule." Grimmjow said as he dug into his ear with his pinky. "Uh, Prongs, Mooney, and I have Defense against the Dark Arts" replied Sirius "While, Evans and Wormtail have Potions."

"Potions sounds boring as s**t. So, I'm going with glasses, raggedy Stanley, and future gigolo." Grimmjow said, "Who's with me?" Ulquiorra and Ichigo raised their hands. "Okay! So, Nel and I are together! I've always loved the scene in the movies that were all Hubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble!" She said clapping her hands, as Nel climbed onto her shoulders. With that our motley crew split up, both already knowing they were in for a treat!

 **To Be Continued…**

 **The seating arrangement within Transfiguration class starting from left to right: (** **each desk sits two** **)**

 **In the front row: Narcissa, Bellatrix, Lily, Nel**

 **2** **nd** **row: Lucius, Severus, Ulquiorra, Orihime**

 **3** **rd** **: Remus, Peter, Grimmjow, James**

 **4** **th** **: Rodolphus, random student, Ichigo, Sirius**


	10. Ch10: Dunderheads in DADA class!

Desclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Bleach

Italics= thoughts

 **[Bold]** = note

Author note: Another chapter I struggled upon, but was probably the funniest so far to type! Sorry, I was ever so late but, I couldn't and didn't want to rush this chapter, I just hope it came out in a way ya'll can understand. **However before you read the chapter read this!** Because I'm bout to drop the knowledge upon ya'll: (sorry…so…so sorry)

 **1\. Everyone keeps asking: "why doesn't Grimmjow destroy the whole castle or Dumbledore?**

 **Answer** : Grimmjow may be impulsive, volatile and trigger-happy **HOWEVER** he's also concerned with his survival. Hence, why he didn't attack Aizen outright nor tackle Luppi without his arm being restored. Thus, he won't disobey Dumbledore, especially if Ulquiorra's following his command.

 **2\. Why doesn't Ulquiorra take over?**

 **Answer** : he never cared for ruling anything, just wanted a reason to exist, which Dumbledore gave him again, and to execute his order to the T. however, he is curious about things he doesn't understand which, makes him hesitant to destroy it. So, he's obviously curious about Magic!

 **3.** " **Why can't they negate magic? Isn't it kido?**

 **Answer** : I'll say kido is like magic but, it's more of a different branch of "magic" not the same. It's like comparing a wolf to a puppy. But, they aren't completely vulnerable, the wielder has to be very powerful or be stuck by multiple people at the same time.

 **4\. Why is Dumbledore so strong? The bleach characters could demolish the old man!**

 **Answer:** I don't want to give it all away or it'll ruin the whole suspense **BUT,** I drop a hint in chapter 8 (see if you can find it ). Also, if one can't see where the attack is coming from, they can't dodge (it's like Ishida, except invisible arrows). And no matter how powerful the gun is, if the shooter isn't able to pull the trigger, it's useless.

 **Now, for this chapter's notes:**

And Ichigo has his sword in his belt like Ikkaku in his school uniform.

And the DADA teacher's speech pattern is modeled after Cotton from King the Hill. Don't ask why he's just perfect.

 **Author note END**

The motley group of boys ascended the stone spiral stairs towards the Defense against the Dark Arts class, all the while mocking one notorious, blond haired, Syltherin.

"Did you notice how long his hand remained on Ulquiorra's arm? What an arse bandit?" Sirius said

"I don't know what that actually means…but, Grimmjow, you'd better be careful or you'll lose your rank again! God, who knew this dimension had its own Luppi."

"HAHAHAHAH! An-and I'm sure blondie knows a lot about tentacles!" Grimmjow said, nudging Ichigo in the ribs playfully. "Hope you have your soul candy ready!"

"In class, I was like, oh-NO! My Denreishinki just detected something…its…its dickishness is off the charts! I'm gonna need your help!" Ichigo returned, whipping out his radar for emphasis.

The three Gryffindor had absolutely no idea what the Shinigami and Espada were referencing but, laughed along. Any normal being would say they were getting along however, as a werewolf, Remus knew better. _How can they not see it!_ Thought Remus as he continued to watch the four guys. He, unlike his friends, had stronger animalistic instincts than most teenage wizards, meaning he wasn't fooled. While his friends looked at the Grimmjow's smile, he looked in his eyes. While that smile was directed towards others showed a laidback individual, his eyes showed cunningness that bordered on savagery.

 _It's like he'll be friendly for one second but, then he'll rip your throat out. Dumbledore said, "Give em a chance!" but, Grimmjow seems…too random! Also doesn't help that the other is boring holes into my very soul._ Remus glanced over to see Ulquiorra staring at him. "Uhhhh, do like Hogwarts, Ulquiorra?" he said, attempting a conversation. "I have not experienced Hogwarts to provide a truly accurate or adequate report, Remus Lupin." Ulquiorra continued to stare for several seconds before looking ahead. "Oh, well…maybe this'll help." Remus dug in his bag and pulled out his battered copy of Hogwarts, A History. "I believe it is customary to say, "thank you"…thank you." Ulquiorra said, before he began reading.

 **Soon they were at the classroom**

The classroom was a cliché Hogwarts room, it was made out of stone and had outrageously high windows. It was lined with weird gadgets and bookcases, which looked like they'd fall apart at any second. And had school desks, a chalkboard, and a ridiculously cluttered teacher's desk. _Man...It's Hueco Mundo all over again._

The teacher for Defense against the Dark Arts could be described as eccentric or more accurately un-medicated. His name is Wilbert Ogden the thirty-fifth, He was a man of his mid-thousands, and was a good 6'0. He was wearing a navy blue-suit that was covered with pineapple print, claiming it helped distract his attackers. He had short pink hair which, was a result of a misfired hex by some convict.

"Today, we are talking about Azkaban and how one gets dropped in this dark, soul disintegrating, prison. A prison made to hold all the traitors, and killers, and dabblers of dark magic, that the public deemed the deserving of the Dementor's kiss!" he said pointing at the board which, had a crudely drawn prison and a dementor, which looked like a muppet/blanket hybrid.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and said, "Azkaban? Looks like a fun house."

Ogden's head whipped around so fast it looked like it was dislocated, "You would think that Miss Black, seeing as your family have an affinity for having 10 yearlong sleepovers in said building's cells. I believe your cell, Girly, has the cutest slimy stone walls and a poise rusted, freezing metal bed! Which is next to a bacteria infested sink that spews out brown water that tastes of lemon fecal matter!" James silently laughed at her stunned face, Ogden was instantly in his face, "So Potter, think it's funny? Think you won't ever fire an Unforgiveable from that squeaky clean wand of yours? Remember this boy, to save the ones we love, sometimes rules are broken! So, if some Death Eater comes after you, at your toddler's birthday party, and severs you best friend, Mr. Black, in half! Do you sit there and cry like some Nancy, sitting in your soiled robes and trainers! No, you better dig into the midtorso of your bisected friend, and take his bloody kidney stones and jam em in their slanted eyes!

Ogden seemed satisfied upon seeing James smirk dissolved into nothing and headed back to the blackboard. "Now, you pitiful excuses of wizards! To get thrown in with them commies and Nazzy…"

The rest of the speech was lost to Grimmjow when a note landed on his desk.

 **[Look at the third row, second seat. Tell your Orange haired kid, and sulker.]**

"Psst, Ginger! Lap dog! Read this." Grimmjow whispered to the other two. Only Ichigo did as Grimmjow asked, Ulquiorra was preoccupied with reading Remus' book. Two sets of eyes followed the note's direction to find: Bellatrix deep-throating her wand basically saying, "I have no gag reflect". Grimmjow made a mental note, _Note to self: check if she's legal._

The two were pulled out of their ravine by the teacher screaming, "'the other way is attacking muggles. Now, many think they are helpless because they ain't got our magical powers but, don't be fooled! They're resourceful and have weapons that confuse even our smartest warlocks! I have, with much difficulty, procured one of these weapons. One in which you apparently load and it shoots things out at rapid speeds!" Ichigo eyes widened as his mind listed all weapon that fit under that category (a.k.a. Guns).

"Stand back!" Ogden whipped out his wand and started to levitate a...a...a…

 **Toaster**

"HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHH!" all head whipped around to see the Shinigami rolling on the floor, tears rolling down his reddening reddening face. "Oh! So, the foreigner thinks I'm making a joke! Don't cha, Gingy?!" the teacher said, brow furrowed and face becoming plum purple. "No, no, it's *ha* just…just! That's not a weapon, it's a toaster! It's a device for making crisper pieces of bread!" he said as he whipped some tears from his eyes.

"Wait! Are you a muggle!?" Bellatrix literally screamed furiously, mentally ashamed to have lusted after the "inferior" race.

"What, isn't that a type of dog? Anyway no, I have one of those in my home, actually it's almost become a common appliance in Soul Society, and Soul reapers really dig toast. They're basically harmless, especially if you don't have electricity." Ichigo said, once he had regained his bearings.

"Soul society, soul reapers. Boy, what in the name of Godric are you talking about? You on that Dragon Dust? Show me your eyes, they better not be Purplish-red!" The teacher said climbing on a desk, and began turning Ichigo's face left and right, checking the Ginger's eyes.

"Wait, are you a muggle or a soul reaper?" some random Ravenclaw asked, "and are you going to reap our souls?!" Ichigo seeing the room's atmosphere darkening quickly set to remedy it.

"First off, I'm human and a soul reaper. Secondly, that's not what a soul reaper does. We, by that I mean Soul reapers, are kinda like deliverers. I'm in charge of gathering all the lingering souls, which stayed as a result of grudges, unfinished business, etc." He whipped out his sword, savoring the ahs he received. "We use these, _Zanpakutō_ , to Konso them to Soul society and the rest of their families." _So, glad I paid attention to Rukia that time._

"Whoa! So you're like angels!" some sytherin exclaimed. Soon the classroom was a flutter with questions, compliments and requests. _Hmm…is this what celebrities experience day to day? I like it!_

However, he was pulled out of his ravine with a single statement, curtesy of Grimmjow, "Tell em what happens to those you don't "save".

The class quieted as the room became tense. "Tell em bout hollows, Kurosaki." Grimmjow said super calmly. The class got absolutely silent, seeing the Grimmjow's eyes burning with hate.

"Tell em, how you dips***s tend to let a few hundred thousand, not get saved or get devoured by…hollows. You know hollows? A monster created when a soul isn't saved which, is the result of its soul chain disintegrating into nothing or because of uncontrollable hate or grief. Which, results in a hole to replace it and a white mask to solidify over their faces. Then, said beings go on a rampage to fill the insatiable hunger by consuming living beings and other souls."

"Okay, yes, but…but, soul reapers purify said souls which, means all they've have eaten or killed get purified! We don't do anything unjust!" Ichigo said, trying to quell the apprehension that was slowly filling the room.

"*cough* Quincys *cough*. Oh sorry, remembering the massive genocide enacted upon a race of people by SOUL REAPERS!" Grimmjow savored how agitated Ichigo was getting.

"THEY WEREN'T PURIFYING, we purifying the hollows and send them to a better place!"

"Yay, the land of bigotry where there's poverty and crime and those on power are self-serving, black robe wearing, fascists! Thosee who sacrifice their own people for arbitrary laws/regulation. Who are so weak a couple of pimpled teens, who still have to change their sheets because of wet dreams, could demolish their Nazi generals! Question: have you and shorty finally bang or can I have her?"

"What are you talking about!? Besides, your place isn't any better, Grimmjow! Living in a barren wasteland! Your nothing but a cannibalistic, cracked masked, knockoff Shinigami wearing white! Who follows an f**king megalomaniac with a god complex! Who did the equivalent of dressing his pets in pants?"

"Still didn't enact genocide, Strawberry."

"The system isn't perfect! But, if you want to be exorcised into nothing, I'll get Ishida to shove an arrow into your furry, blue ass! I, unlike you, don't crave destruction! I save those that are lost!

"Sure. You totally baptized Di Roy, Nakeem, Edrad, Shawlong, and Yylfordt." Grimmjow said with immense distain and sarcasm, as he leaned back and propped his feet upon the desk in front of him. _Man…I miss those f**kers._

Ichigo tossed the desk Grimmjow's feet were resting into the wall, getting in the Sexta's face. "Okay, you want talk s***, we can talk s***! I didn't have anything to do with their deaths! If you hadn't decided to go commando, like a rebellious preteen, mad at daddy's orders! Going as far as sick your boyband on MY FRIENDS residing in MY TOWN, they'd be alive! Maybe, instead of blaming me, blame YOURSELF for making such an impulsive, and dumba** idea without calculating the possibilities!? But, I swear to God, I will fight tooth and nail to protect the ones I care and love! I'm never going to lose another loved one to anything I can prevent! So, even If I have to tackle enemy ten times stronger than me, I will! If I have to go as far as to become a monster, I will! Even, if I have to sacrifice my Shinigami powers forever, I WILL! So, Jaegerjacka**, I'm not sorry your groupies died, I used to be, but as of now I hope they're burning in HELL!

Grimmjow blinked once, slowly and stood up from his seat. He patted the dust off his clothes and straightened his hair, using Ichigo's eyes as a mirror. Then, with a straight face and calm demeanor said, "Grandfisher said your whore of a mother tasted delicious."

 **Getsuga Tenshou!**

Grimmjow and a great portion of the DADA room's wall and supplies went flying, littering the Hogwarts grounds.

"F*** it! I tried being nice I tried being the better man but no more! You want that rematch, I'll give you an f***ing REMATCH!" Ichigo screamed at Grimmjow from the crater in the wall. He quickly donned his Visored mask and leapt out toward Grimmjow.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! I've never wanted anything else! Follow me, MAMA's BOY!" Grimmjow said, as he dashed off away from the castle, Ichigo following close behind.

Several kids ran to the window to see the chunks of stone, desks and other classroom supplies littering the grass, several mini craters. All were silent except, for the sound of book pages flipping. All turned to look at Ulquiorra, who had just finished reading.

"Seeing the underlying threats are no longer present my monitoring is meaningless, I am off to your library facilities seeing as none of which I've read is beneficial in answering a majority of my questions. You may resume the lesson in which, you've prepared." With that said, he shut the door. Leaving a stunned class behind and a solid belief that Dumbledore was wrong.

 **To be continued...**


	11. ch 11: Hubble, Bubble, Toil & TROUBLE!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Bleach.

 _Italics= thoughts_

Underlined= author note

 **Author notes** : I know I haven't really been utilizing Nel as a character, more like an accessory but, trust me she's there for a reason, just have to be patient! But, enough dabbling I hope you guys enjoy this Chapter! I took a little liberty with Orihime's fairies because we haven't seen them in a while. (P.S. the ability to bring back the dead will not be in this story, it's really dumb and OP.) And dont forget to critic

* * *

Orihime could barely hold in her excitement as she, Lily and Nel, who was hanging by said witch's neck, traveled to the potions classroom. She was shaking with excitement and literally skipping down each stone step toward the dungeon. The whole trip, Lily had been asking about the various things, the main being Hogwarts facilities and the dangers of potions. Soon they were at the classroom's entrance, Orihime was bouncing from one foot to the other like a kid hoped up on caffeine. However, her dreams were steadily crushed like a kid that received coal for Christmas.

While our fairy wielder was expecting cobblestone floors, however she was expecting them to be multicolored or patterned like she imagined not moist and dull. She expected to see colorful, vibrant plants, that'd be the winner in any County Fair, hanging throughout the classroom. The walls should've been lined with bottled Navis and capped liquids (that were making new colors every second). To hear the scampering of tiny, talking toads or intelligent mice, whose job was to organize, rearrange, and even crack bad puns. But what she got was a dark, damp, and dreary room. All plants in the room were either withered and or bottled. Any type of animal, cute or otherwise, was either chopped into several pieces and or bottled. Worst of all, Ulquiorra-kun and Kurosaki-kun weren't clothed only in aprons, teaching! Instead it was some fat, green robed, walrus of a man with quite the impressive moustache. I said it was her fantasy potion classroom, didn't I?

"Well, if it isn't my best potioneer and our latest guests! My name Professor Horace Slughorn, did I tell you I'm friends with several famous quidditch players and other power-" the fat blob of a man would've continued to blabber on about how important he believed himself to be if Lily hadn't interrupted him with, "what are we brewing today, professor?"

"Oh! We, Ms. Evans, will be demonstrating to our guests how my advanced and unique tutelage has resulted in. thus, we will free brew! Yes (that sounds smart), to give our guests a chance to see more than one. So, class, you may choose any type or level of potion but, they can't be first year potions, PETTIGREW! Okay, gather your potion ingredients and get started and if you need me, I'll be writing several letters to some very POWERFUL people!" with that he waddled over his desk and began eating those gross pineapple candies.

Orihime and Nel sat down, near the front, while Lily got her ingredients, the excitement returning to them ten folds. Lily returned shortly, carrying dozens of bizarre ingredients like bat pee, eye of butterfly, and platypus bear testacies! "Here, Nel. Your kinda young to be using big, so hers a starter kit!" Lily then handed Nel a newly transfigured Potions for Tots Kit: BFFs for Little Potioneers, which pleased the Arrantot immensely and stopped her from licking/ eating the various ingredients and equipment. "Nothing worse and more handsy than a bored Toddler. Now, do you want to doodle or help me brew?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Orihime instantly put her hair up, and jumped into cutting up whomping willow seeds and Bat eyes. _Wonder if the recipe calls for red bean paste?_ What Orihime saw as an opportunity to be a witch, Lily saw an opportunity to interrogate.

"So, Orihime…are we friends?" Lily said casually, as she began heating the cauldron.

"What? Yeah! Of course I think you're my friend!"

"Then…you wouldn't lie to me, right?"

"…right…I wouldn't totally lie to you." _Though, I would spread the truth a little._

"So, can you tell me how you, Ichigo, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow and Nel know each other?"

"Oh you wouldn't want to hear that long and dull, boring, blandish tale." Orihime quickly looked at the potion's instructions to hide her anxious face. _The one question I didn't want to address!_

"Try me." Lily said in a semi-aggressive way.

"Oh, okay…well, Kurosaki-kun and I are classmates and really good friends. I met him through my friend Tatsuki and we've gone on h…hunting trips and…long distant trips with our gang. Probably _shouldn't mention Hollow hunting or Soul Society…too crazy, even for a witch!_ Well, one day, Ulquiorra and his…Co-worker, Yams, came to my town…scouting talent and that stuff, people were so shocked they…dropped "dead!" she said doing air quotes around the word "dead". "Well, our original employers, Urahara and Yoruichi, didn't like that and decided to run them out of town! However, their boss, Aizen, he's persistent and after watching Ulquiorra's report, decided to try again. He made me an offer I couldn't say no to, even if I wanted to with all my heart and soul!

"Really? Interesting…that'd explain the semi-matching clothing." Lily said, stirring the potion.

"Right! It was a job…overseas, I was given my own room, facilities and uniform! During my…stay, Ulquiorra-kun was my…my…supervisor! _Yeah, that works._

"That's why he's sometimes called Cuatro? And Grimmjow is called Sexta, right? Kinda like the power of those in the office." She said smushing the beetle eyes.

"Yep, the rank of power in the…offi-organization! He's so dedicated, he'd bring me food, give me pep talks…even if I didn't want um, and always be there to escort me places, like a body guard or something. Well, one day my friends came…because they wanted me to return to finish my education, it was taking time from school…but, Aizen and Kurosaki-kun have bad blood between each other, so a "war" could be said to have broken out!" She said, as she bashed some type of amphibian bones into a powder. "Well, I thought I had made friends with everyone but, two coworkers began bullying me and Grimmjow-kun had to come and…reprimand them.

"Yeah, if you were at the workplace why was Grimmjow so bloody, beaten?"

"He was attacked by a…rapist." She mentally slapped herself after that sentence left her mouth. _Rapist? Rapist!? Now, she'll think Grimmy got molested and or violated!_

"An r-r-rapist!?" Lily almost spilled the potion after hearing such a terrible thing. _No wonder he attacked James, probably fears being touched! Note to self: give him a good happy potion, and a shoulder to cry on!_

"Oh…he's dead. But that's why Grimmjow-kun was so beat up…cause of a…rapist. But soon Ulquiorra-kun arrived after…a long trip, and him being the control freak he is, didn't like Grimmjow-kun nor Kurosaki-kun breaking the rules…or property and talked…and then, we were summoned here! _That and they killed each other!_

"Is that the truth?" Lily said, turning off the flame and removing the potion.

"Yep!" _the supremely watered down version, that is._

"Okay. But, that doesn't explain why you screamed Aizen, your boss, would kill all your friends."

"No! When I said that I meant he'd kill their livelihood by taking jobs and workers from the town's economy!"

"Grimmjow-kun said he and the others eats souls."

"That kidder! Aizen runs a…a… strict organization, that's centered on usurping other…organizations! They could be categorized as…lawyers. Heh…heh. And lawyers are known to suck the life out of their victim!"

"Lawyers carry swords?"

"Well, there are rapists running around the area. So…yeah."

"And the skeletal pieces?"

"Latest trend in fashion! Even people like…their king, Barragan-sama wears one of those. They come in all shapes and sizes, basically none are really the same as another's!"

"The holes in their bodies?"

"Birth defects", she said with a grim face and a shake of her head. "There's a real problem with…iron deficiency, seems 9 in every 10 newborns have it." Get it? Spirit chain=iron

"That the really, really, real truth?" Lily leaned in real close, checking her eyes for any deceit.

Orihime gulped and would've said yes, being caught in her lie but, a harsh scream diverted their attention.

They looked back to see Peter screaming, crying, and shaking his right arm frantically, as Slughorn failed to placate the teen. The two girls had been so absorbed in their conversation that they'd missed all the pandemonium. It turns out our clumsy rat animagus had done what most novices tend to do: change a relatively harmless potion into an extremely dangerous. Said potion had already been removed by professor walr-Slughorn, but the damage was already done! Peter's right arm was absolutely disgusting, and that's being kind. **(Warning this may be gross)** Said mystery potion had literally decimated and disfigured Peter's arm! The skin had become de-colorized in several places, the colors ranging from pitch black to translucent white, as well as taken up a strange flakey texture. Several places were leaking because the skin had ruptured, the smell of what one expects a dead, decomposing body left in a hot car for twelve days with several rotten eggs, rose from said splits! The fingers had either elongated like those of an Aye-Aye or become stumpy like those of an amputee! The scariest effect was the bone within the arm appeared to be liquidizing.

"Calm down! Calm down! Um…uh… Merlin! What do I do?! I…this…TAKING ANY SORT OF IDEAS HERE!" Slughorn knew he should've read that 1001 Way to Fix a Potion Mishap!

"Get him to the infirmary" screamed some chunky Hufflepuff, crying at seeing someone in pain

"Leave it be, it'll get better with time" a Ravenclaw sarcastically remarked, holding his nose in disgust.

"Cut it off!" a chorus of immature boys yelled out

 **Sōten Kisshun!**

All noise and or pandemonium stopped as everyone focused upon the orange, translucent dome thingy formed around Peter's arm. Shockingly, the bone and flesh was returning to its originally acne covered, pudgy arm! Man, I hate this character

It didn't even take a minute before the process was finished and the shield became two floating, tiny beings. One, was a pig-tailed girl in a pink dress (whose sleeves were a tad bit too long). Said girl was surrounded by a weird, red, floral print dome with what looked to be fried chicken wings on the back. The other was a blond guy (?) in a red bathrobe and black tights, whom had turquoise fried chicken wings upon his back. Both wasn't bigger than a grown man's fist and yet, were the center of attention.

"All done! Now, don't go touching whatever caused that again!" the tiny man said, slightly reprimanding tone to Peter before going back to Orihime's hairpin.

Before anyone could ask what the heck happened Orihime's pins seemed to go nutters and a tiny man clothed all in black popped out.

"I'm done with this! When's it my turn, huh!? I'm back and ready for battle but, you won't use me! But, Ayame and Shun'ō have been having an f**king heyday with all the action they've seen!" said being began pulling Lily's cheeks and hair.

"Tsubaki! That's not me!" Orihime pulled the irate, black fairy from the witches' hair. _Oh no, everyone's staring! Where's a cat when you need one!?_

"Huh?! Well…sorry, but you got in my way! Now, you! USE ME!" the man/fairy directed his fury at the correct redhead. The commotion and activity made the others residing in the hair pins confident enough to explore. Soon the class was full of tiny winged beings, all seemingly determined to touch everywhere, everyone, and everything.

"Sorry, about my friend there, he's got issues." Shun'ō said to Lily, going as far as to pat her on the back.

"What are you?" Lily hesitantly asked Shun'ō, her hand already on her wand and all the hexes she knew.

"Hmm…that's a little complicated but, I can say we're beings that won't kill you! Not even Tsubaki would dare do that!" Shun'ō said, upon seeing Lily's hands on what he assumed to be a weapon.

Said tiny man's words had an enormous effect upon the scared students, that and the fairies' cute factor was in full blare. Upon seeing said being weren't dangerous, not counting the black one, the students decided to do what Dumbledore had implored of them: get to know their foreign visitors. Soon, people were more focused upon playing, learning or just looking at Orihime's fairies, Potions and any work for said class flew out the window. This was a fortunate for Slughorn since he was already so flustered and exhausted, he couldn't even fake enough interest to help a student, if asked. He couldn't even bring himself to grade people's work and just gave everyone an O. Before long, the bell rang, calling a close to all the fun of the students and fairies. Surprisingly, the students left the classroom with smiles and confidence in the notion the Bleach gang were good guys.

"Are you coming, Lily-chan?" Orihime called from the classroom entrance, her fairies still out and about.

"Huh, oh yeah! Coming!"

As Lily ran to catch up she knew Orihime wasn't telling the whole truth about her or her friends. She'd grown up with Severus and knew when one wasn't being perfectly honest. However, that also taught her the truth isn't always the best, and she'd to rely on her heart. And no matter what, her heart screamed: Dumbledore was right.

 **To Be Continued…**


	12. Ch 12: Skippin' & Pimpin' in Hogsmeade

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Harry potter

 _Italics= thoughts_

Underlined= author's note

 **[Bold]=note**

Author note: the story getting close to the finally! Sorry about Hagrid's speech I don't know how to type his accent and stuff. the flight teacher and Magical Creature Care are the same cause…yeah. And I'm going to do a few time skips, it'll make sense.

The insults made by Aberforth are actual insults in Britain. Yes, duffer is an insult.

Author note's end

* * *

"Maybe I'll skip bringing yah next time, Fang. Didn't think Aragog's youngens would get cha! Kinda looked like they haven't eaten en a while" Hagrid couldn't help but beam at his recent gift from Dumbledore. Said gift was a runty Boarhound puppy, its legs still wobbly and its body covered in folds. The two were just returning from his visit with his 8-legged friend, deep within the forest. _Surprisingly, haven't seen hide or hair of the centaurs either, I should ask Professor Grumblyplank about them migratin'._ Our favorite half-giant was pulled from his thought by an abnormally gruff hiss coming from a bush of thorns.

"Well, well, well! I've never seen anything like you. I'll call you Tuffsie!"

It had been several days since the explosive DADA class and the arrival of the five had cause a huge division within the school. There's the Hollow hierarchy: those who sympathized with the hollow race and all those masked. They'd go around at meals and free time wearing white robes. They originally wore bone pieces and masks but, that instantly ended upon the snapping/burning of said wearers' wands.

Then, there's the Soul reaper Soulmates: those that thought soul reapers were "angels" and were destined to destroy the Dark Lord. Ever since Ichigo showed them his badge design, it's become as common of a sight as tapestries. Which brings us to where we are now.

"We have to stay away from those guys!" Remus slammed his hand down on one of the Gryffindor Common room tables. For the first time ever, he'd make his opposition know and not back down.

"What!?" the rest of the Marauders said in sync.

"Why, Remus? Didn't you hear about what Orihime did for me? Heck, haven't you seen all the bruises, and scars she's been erasing. Regardless of the house!" Peter said calmly, seeing how agitated the werewolf was.

"Yes! But, did you hear about what they did in DADA class? Or the mess they made after returing from wherever those two ran off to? Remember at last night's dinner the argument between Filch and Dumbledore? He ranted about how hard it's been to clean up all the blood stains, quite loudly might I add! The constant decimation of corridors, classrooms and campus ground. The sound of swords clashing! The fact they've snapped bloody WANDS in half! Listen, I can understand Orihime even Nel. But the guys, even Ichigo, we stay away from!" Remus held up a finger for each example listed during his rant.

"Why would we do that, Mooney? Remember how they're awesome? The fact, Grimmjow hates Lucius and his gang puts him on my good side. Which, is exactly like us. Ichigo actually, took on his boss and government to rescue his friends! Which, is something we'd do. And sure, Ulquiorra's a bit intense but, he might just be socially retarded. You know, sheltered." Sirius said lackadaisically, as he and James played a round of Wizard chess.

"I see your point, Mooney...but, Dumbledore. And Dumbledore's made sure no student has gotten killed nor injured. I can't say I've enjoyed the shift in limelight…but, now Filch is more focused on watching them and not us!" James missed the glare Lupin directed towards him and Sirius.

"Guys! You might not feel it but, their presence! Last night, while we were running around like every full moon, I smelt…something! It smelled of blood and… RAGE! The number of creatures within the forest have and are decreasing rapidly! It's like dropping a dragon with a bunch of gnomes, shite will happen!"

The gang of Gryffindor broke from their argument upon hearing the screeching of the Fat Lady, "you vandals! You rapscallions! You colorful haired brutes-"SHUT THE F*** UP! Whoever painted an obese, wrinkled pig like you better be dead or I'll hunt him down like the B**CH he is!"

The gang up to see, much to Remus' despair, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra and Nel.

"Princessa's traveling with Lily and Bichigo…I don't give a rat's a** what he's doing. But, Albino c**ksucker here and fun-sized b**ch have something to ask."

Nel quickly scrambled off Grimmjow's back, and hopped onto the chess board. "Nel wants these!"

She held up a chewed up Dumbledore card, one you get from chocolate frogs. The poor Dumbledore figure was lying on his stomach because it was the only way he'd have his whole body within the teethed frame. His glasses askew and looked completely haggard. _I hope I never see the Headmaster like that._

"And I would like to read the newly published books, seeing as the Headmaster has told we should experience all things magic, I believe this place would yield all our demands." In his hand he held a Hogsmeade flyer, the picture had a birds occasionally fly by and the clouds drifting in the gray skies.

"Hogsmeade? Of course, you've guys have come to the right wizards! All 4 of us will personally give you a tour of the village! James said enthusiticallly

"Actually James, I can't miss another charms class or I'll be held back next year." Wormtail said sadly, as

he quickly gathered his supplies and waddled to class.

"And I've got…" Remus stopped midsentence, _Wait if I leave they'll be left with those two…Shite._ "Nothing…*sigh* I'll come along." _They're my friends, no matter how stupid they are._

"Great! Now…we need an excuse to get out of flying class." James looked at his two best friend, yet all were drawing a blank.

"Give me a quill and parchment," Grimmjow then proceeded to write for several seconds, "done and done! Now, do your stick thingy's' "magic" to send this and we'll be on our way!"

With a bibbity- boobity- boo the message was sent and they were on their way.

* * *

 **Elsewhere…**

"Okay, class let's do some quick turns, barrel rolls!" Professor Hooch screamed to her airborne students. _But, where are those three Gryffindor, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin? Lupin's the most surprising of the three._ She was dragged out of her ravine by a note suddenly appearing before her. It read:

 **[Dear broom B**th,**

 **Remus, James, and Sirius will not be dips***s and come to class.**

 **They're traveling with us to** **Hogsmeade** **somewhere else.**

 **If you have a problem, take it to Dumbledore.**

 **Sincerely, the wreaker of your s**t,**

 **Grimmjow]**

She looked further down to see Grimmjow had drawn, with detail that'd shame Picasso, a d**k with what looked like French words beside it. _Dumbledore's got some big, big, BIG explaining to do!_

* * *

 **Back to our Heroes…**

The gang quickly and quietly moved the knight from the entrance of the tunnel.

"Um…that isn't as fragile as it looks, right?" Sirius pointed at Ulquiorra's horn, "actually will you even fit, even if you crouch down?" he pointed out Grimmjow's height in proportion to the tunnel. "Maybe, we could use a charm or-"

Before he'd finish his sentence, there was a green flash of light and a gust of wind, and the tunnel had been widened considerably. "Okay…well, let's go!"

 **10 minutes of tunnel crawling**

"Bloody hell, this has turned" Aberforth said to his tabby after sampling a glass of Sangnoma, "That's how to reward a hard day of work, a spoiled drink!" He quickly dumped the glass and headed towards the back. To say Aberforth was surprised to see a grown man in bizarre clothes chugging his storage of hard liquor was an understatement. Next to him was one of his regulars, Sirius, talking some mousy boy off the ledge. He looked over to see his sister, actually having a conversation with some ram child. While James, another regular, seemed to be explaining Hogwarts and tunnels to a really depressed teenager. _This has Albus written all over it! Why can't my brother take care of his messes, and not let um' run loose!_

"You'll better have a reason for breaking and entering. Cause it's legal to use an unforgivable in self-defense." Aberforth said in a droll tone of voice

"H-hey Aberfo-sir! We…we-" He held up his hand, cutting off the stuttering, golden-eyed boy, "As long as this is somehow getting my brother in trouble…it's fine. Just get the hell out of here! And stop drinking my stock, Dumbley's newest boy toy!" he wrenched the unopened bottle out of Grimmjow's hand and began chugging it. Inwardly smilling at the disgruntled, challenging look he received from said man.

"You've got balls, Kris Cringle!" Grimmjow yanked the bottle back from Aberforth's wrinkled hands

"Blue haired barmy!" he shoved Grimmjow, and grabbed the bottle.

"Bearded jack***!" he shoved back, reclaiming the sweet nectar of alcoholics.

"You piss-artist of a nancy!"

"Stoll busting testical guzzler!"

"Bone wearing pikey!"

"Four-eyed goat f**ker!"

"Blue, rebellious, pedophilic, child snatching duffer!"

Both men stood face to face, foreheads touching, one fingering his wand the other his sword. The bystanders waited with baited breath. All of a sudden the men broke into laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Oh boy, you and I have got to chat! You look like you've done some dumb shite and I'm just the nutter to listen!" Aberforth said, putting his arm around Grimmjow's shoulder, guiding him toward a barstool.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH! As long as you've got something that isn't f**king tea! You guys go ahead, I'm perfectly happy here. It's been to long since my last drink and I'm getting s**t faced!" Grimmjow's smile continueously growing with each bottle of liquire added to the dirty counter.

"Uh…okay, enjoy getting…wasted? We'll just be going!" the five said goodbye to the two obviously closet alcoholics. After walking awhile before deciding to split up. James, Sirius and Nel headed towards Honeydukes. While Ulquiorra and Remus headed for Flourish and Blotts.

* * *

 _Boring…boring. Booooring._ Ambrosius couldn't stop nor contain his yawn as he sat at the counter, waiting for customers. Just like any time it isn't Hogsmeade's weekend, business was slow.

"Sup Amb!" James said, walking up to the counter.

"James?! What are you doing here…what's the biggest tricksters doing here?" Ambrosius smiled at the Gryffindor, admiring their daringness.

"Sirius and I are being Hogwarts' ambassadors and showing our friend around the wondrous Hogsmeade. And what's Hogsmeade without the pinnacle of all candy stores: Honeydukes! "

"Oh? Where is this friend?" he couldn't help but, raise his eyebrow since neither of the boys had brought anyone else in.

"Wha-"James did a double take, seeing Padfoot chatting to some blond which, was quite normal but, Nel was nowhere in sight. "One moment, please" he quickly grabbed his friend and dragged him down a random candy aisle. "Where is Nel!?" he whispered

"Prongs, did you see the knockers on that bird!? Geez! Calm down she's right…where she is?" he looked around, even going as far as to look under the shelves. "You check candy aisle A-T and I'll check U-Z!"

"Wait! Why do I have to do extra work?!" James said grabbing Sirius before he'd zipped off

"Cause…only you're awesome enough to do it." Sirius said with a big grin

"But, only one as handsome as you could find her. So please! Sir Padfoot! James said with a curtsy

 ***CRUNCH* *CRUNCH**CRUNCH* *CRUNCH***

"No, no, no! Only your quick moves and sharp eyes can help."

 ***CRUNCH* *CRUNCH* *SMACK* *SLURP***

"Please! Your strength is essential!" James said forcefully

 ***CRUNCH* *CRUNCH**CRUNCH* *CRUNCH**CRUNCH* *CRUNCH***

"Strength? HAH! These toothpicks are bloody worthless! But, you! You could kick my arse!" Sirius exclaimed, getting into James face

 ***SLURP* CRUNCH* SMACK**CRUNCH* *CRUNCH***

"I can't do shite! I could lose to a garden gnome!" James grabbed Sirius' robe

 ***CRUNCH* *CRUNCH***

"No, I suck!"

 ***CRUNCH* *CRUNCH***

"No, I suck!"

 ***CRUNCH* *CRUNCH***

"No, I suck!"

 ***CRUNCH* *CRUNCH***

"No, I suck!"

 ***CRUNCH* *CRUNCH***

"Wait, shut up! What's that noise?" Sirius said, as his dog-like hearing picked up the sound of repeated smacking and constant crunching of candy.

"WHOSE BLOODY KID IS THIS!?"

Both boy felt dread fill their stomachs, and their fears were confirmed when they heard, "My name's not kid! It's Nelliel but, you can call me Nel!" They quickly dashed to the front of the aisle and sneaked a peak at source of the pandemonium. What they saw was their charge, dangling by her ankle by an enraged shopkeeper. Her cloths were covered in bits of candy, and crumbs and smudges of frosting speckled her hair. There was even an acid pop stuck to the eye rim of her hollow mask!

"S-SHE ATE FIVE BARRELS OF CANDY! SAID CARETAKERS BETTER COME FORTH NOW AND PAY FOR ALL OF IT!"

Our two pranksters looked at each other and estimated the cost of all the candy Nel had consumed.

"Shite Prongs! That's got to be 34 galleons maybe more!"

"We'll probably be banned too! I can't get through History of Magic without a hit! I can't! I can't! J- Baby needs his quills!" James shook his friend back and forth, with much gusto and

*SLAP* "Get a hold of yourself, James Potter! We've got to stay calm and get out of here…let's use Operation GOTL!"

James rubbed his cheek, "Are you sure? That's only for emergencies!"

"Yes! But, wait" he quickly checked whether anyone was in earshot, "stuff your pockets with as much candy as possible! We can sell it to others!"

"…I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that. Now, get into place! We'll meet up at the bookstore!" James said, as he cleared his throat and did several stretches in preparation for what's to come.

"ONE MORE CHANCE! ONE…TWO…THR-"Ambrosius was cut off mid countdown by James dashing out of an aisle and screaming, "GRIM! THERE'S A GRIM IN HERE! GRIM!" the next second he saw the dreaded creature appear from nowhere! He instantly dropped the child and ducked behind the counter.

James saw his opening and grabbed the sticky Tres, before another crack was added to her skull mask. _Thank merlin, for superstition!_ He proceeded to utilize his Quidditch skills and zip through the thin gaps created by other panicked customers. _Note-to-self: Lily and I are having only one child!_

* * *

 **Elsewhere…**

Remus had been looking high and low for his albino companion for the last 20 minutes with no success. He had been enjoying the opportunity to read without his friends interrupting him but, now he wanted to leave. Apparently the newest top-sellers have been werewolf themed dramas. The best seller being 101 Way to Kill a Werewolf, which was highly inaccurate but, at least he now had a new joke book. Worst of all, the owner had interpreted his blatant disgust for ill-contained horror and gave him a copy for free!

"Ulquiorra, where are you?" he said to no one in particular. He was considering doubling back to the history books when he heard, "Understandable, Ulquiorra!"

He quickly ducked behind shelf, to see none other than _Cygnus Black_. He swore underneath his breath and crawled closer to hear the two monster's conversation.

"However, you should follow the right side and further the plans of one that's much like your earlier "employer". We even approve of soul consumption in our organization, seeing as we employ Dementors." _Cygnus_ smiled upon remembering a gruesome image

" _Cygnus_ -sama, as I've thoroughly enjoyed the conversation upon who will win the war and which side I should be with. However, I've been given an order to protect Hogwarts and its occupants from any potential threats. Hence, means till I am no longer needed or have been dismissed by Dumbledore, will I move onto a new master. But, if you or any of your members cause any type of interference, I will have no choice but to do eliminate you."

Upon hearing such a statement, Remus had much to consider. The biggest being how much of a hypocritical git he'd been. _Man, I talk about how people should give werewolves a chance but, I don't give them a chance! That's it! No more! I'm giving them a chan-_ AAAH!

Remus couldn't help but, scream when Ulquiorra apperated right next to him!

"If you are done eavesdropping upon my conversation with _Cygnus_ -sama, maybe we should meet up with James, Sirius and Nel, whom are approaching our location rapidly. However, you've probably heard them coming. Based primarily upon the knowledge that isn't bias towards werewolves." He said the dreaded W word with as much ease as one would talking about the weather.

"You knew! For how long!?" Remus said in absolute fear, glancing around rapidly to see if anyone over heard.

"Since the second day, your reishi gave you away. Afterwards, I went to Dumbledore to ask about the potential damage you could pose to Hogwarts and its occupants. Upon which, he made clear the precautions done so you can receive a proper education. After hearing about a secret tunnel, I set out to discover all of Hogwarts secrets, as well as the background of all the students in case of any other "abnormalities". It might interest Sirius to know many noble family have imbred for generations and many unclaimed offspring, he should stray from "birds" with these last names." He deposited a rather long list into Remus' hand.

"Uh…okay. Hey, I saw you reading the novel of my favorite author…do you think his primary thesis is too convoluted. Remus said, attempting to hold his vow to himself true.

As the two headed for the exit they had a delightfully intellectual conversation that Remus has been waiting decades for.

* * *

Dumbledore tried to look stern but, was failing miserably due to the scene in front of him. It helped that Professor McGonagall and Professor Hooch were also suffering the effects of the motley crew's appearance.

Let's first describe James. Said Seeker was looking pretty well considering he'd trampled. His glasses were askew and broken, the frames dented like no tomorrow. His robes were torn in several places, and had footprints of various sizes in several places. His head also had quite the bump upon it and his nose was purple from running into a candy shelf. One pants leg was missing, but both knees were scrapped, there was powdered sugar in his hair, shirt and drawers. the poor boy kept shifting in his seat., trying and failing to keep the sugar out of his privates.

Then there was Sirius. His hair was in clumps due to the crushed taffy and gum smushed into various sections of the black locks. His face had chocolate on it, as well as a blackened eye, curtesy of a frightened customers elbow. He was dripping Bat's Blood Soup on Dumbledore's carpet as well as his own because of his nose. Instead of his usually cocky grin he looked like he'd watched his dog die. _Maybe, has to do with that sheet of parchment he's been reading._ He also looked like he'd been on the wrong end of several attacking hexes, the most common being fire because of the various scorches and smoke still rising fromm the depressed, catatonic wizard.

Beside him was Nel. She was quite absorbed in licking her hands and nibbling upon her candy-littered clothing, desperate to get another sugar rush. There was an Acid Pop stuck in her hair, which was plastered to her face because of icing and or chocolate. Upon her hollow mask were two chocolate frogs, one white the other caramel, one melting at a constant rate.

Ulquiorra looked like his usual self if you didn't count him carrying a pair of sandals and was being used as a cane for a completely hammered Grimmjow. Said arrancar was poking him at random variables in his cheek and commenting upon nonsensible subjects and people.

We saved the best for last, Grimmjow. Ah, Grimmjow. He was as wasted as a home-schooled freshman trying to prove himself as a man at a college keg fest. His hair was completely down, as if he had just gotten out of the shower and his cheeks were bright, tomato red. He was extremely unsteady and relying on Ulquiorra to keep him upright. His shirt/jacket was wrapped around this hips and his socks were currently being used as sock puppets.

The finally occupant, Remus Lupin, looked like a deer in headlights. He was still a little haggard because of the recent full moon, but the meeting had frazzled him even more. Seeing as he's never really been in trouble he was expecting the absolute worse outcome.

"Ahem, well that trip must've been quite eventful but, it's been brought to my attention, that I don't really take my punishments towards you seriously. Soooo, I've been thinking and even our guests will be receiving a little punishment", He waited for Grimmjow's drunken gasp to end before continuing, "I believe 35 points should go to each of you for kindly engaging our guest into Wizard culture, however for skipping all three of you shall be helping Orihime in the library. She was kind enough to lend Madam Pince a hand at organizing the shelfs and cleaning. Yes, Mr. Black and Potter, that means you can't participate in the Quidditch match but, for the greater good, it must be done. For our guests' punishment, you'll be assigned to maintaining the peace at the Quidditch game. Hmm…take Ichigo with you in case of…especially rowdy spectators. Is that satisfactory, Professor Hooch?"

"Seems reasonable enough." Professor Hooch said with a nod.

* * *

 **Elsewhere, during this meeting…**

Professor Grumblyplank had just gotten through half of the reports upon unicorns and the implication of one's appearance when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." she said, too lazy to get up from her task of grading papers

"Hello Professor Grumblyplank, I's got a question bout this here lil' guy. I's found im in the forest today." Hagrid held out the strange creature.

 _Great, another gnome with a birth effect._ "*Sigh* Hagrid I'm a very busy person with a loaded sche- WHAT IS THAT?!"

The frightened witch pointed towards the creature in the half-giant's hand. Its red eyes looked like beads within the gigantic sockets upon its face. Its lower body was a poopy brown color but, its head was a bleach white, which was because of the skeletal mask. The creepiest thing about the creature was the hole in its abdomn, which went completely through to the other side, making Hagrid's palm visible.

"I's thought you knew."

* * *

 **DUDUDUUUUUM! Yeppers were cooking with fire! This was actually 13 pages!**

 **Here's a challenge for you readers:**

 **What do you think will happen at the Quidditch Match? Post your prediction and I'll try to put out the next chapter out sooner!**

 **No guess is dumb or outrageous!**


	13. Chapter 13: The Three Swordsman Grim

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter

Author's note: I imagine Ichigo would give someone real bad advice. He's not real smart but he does try hard…so, yeah. I'm not saying Lucius is gay, (not that there is any problem with anyone that is) but, he's had to have had a man crush now and again. Taking the piss actually means making fun of someone

 _Italics= thoughts_

 _ **Italics= Hichigo's thoughts**_

* * *

Severus knew he was staring but he couldn't help it, despite how desperate every fiber of his being screamed stop. He missed Lily. He missed her a lot. He missed her really badly. Really, really badly. Really really really real-

"Severus! Are you even listening?! "Lucius screamed at his distracted "friend".

"Who!?Where!? Huh?!" Severus babbled out, trying to reorient himself with his surroundings.

"I was saying that quite a few students, especially the noble children, have been pulled out of Hogwarts because of the supposed sighting of a Grim in Honeydukes. But, bloody likely it was an overgrown Labrador or some other muggle animal those idiotic sympathizers have imported in!" Lucius said with a pronounced frown, crumpling the newspaper.

"Or some black-haired Mudblood! Pretty easy to confuse them for dogs!" Roiser said, loud enough for the whole Great Hall to hear. Which received many laughs from the Slytherin but a few crude hand gestures from other house occupants.

"Yeah…but apparently, according to Narcissa, her father pulled her and her sister out because of your summoning not the Grim. The black haired one, Ulquiorra I believe it was. Man, that is one hard bird to crack, gets rid of competition for my love but, deny my very excistence! Playing hard to get…makes my trousers tight!" Lucius stabbed his fork into his eggs for emphasis.

"Heh! Funny joke." Roiser said through a mouth full of cereal.

"What? I'm not lying when I say I'll win her love!" Lucius said, feeling quite offended at his friend's dismissal of his vow.

"…that's a dude. Ulquiorra is a guy, Lucius." Roiser said, a look of worry upon his face for Lucius.

"You're taking the piss out of me and her, right? She's quite the pretty one, too." Luscuis offended

"How the bloody hell, is he a she? Explain." Roiser stopped inhaling his cereal to better focus on his friend's bout of insanity.

"Well…the luscious midnight black locks and alabaster skin. The big doe-like eyes and elegant hands. Sure, the voice is a little too baritone and she's flatter than a board but, some inherent more things from their dads. Plus! Plus, no Adam's apple and those are child building hips!" Lucius said with great conviction, truly going for broke.

"He's got his collar zipped up all the time. Plus, you have dainty hands, long locks and the fairest skin in Hogwarts. And, I'm not an uphill gardener, but Reg's brother in his Quidditch uniform shows quite the hips. I think you know this, but are lying to yourself to convince yourself you ain't some butt-pirate Lu-OW!" Roiser yelped.

"10 points from Slytherin for hexing at breakfast!" yelled the Headmaster.

"Y-yo-you don't know anything about such an elegant creature! If! If I wasn't already promised to another, equally fair lady…I'd…I'd…I'd GAAAAAAH!" Lucius screamed in outrage before storming off.

The two Slytherin looked at each other before shrugging and resuming their breakfast.

* * *

Severus really was having a bad day.

 _I can't believe her! Actually hanging with that self-absorbed, messy haired, dimwitted toerag!_ Severus mentally screamed.

What our potion wiz was referring to was the arguing he saw between Lily and James. Normal right? Wrong! It was that friendly type of arguing one does with friends or crushes! After seeing this continue for most of the Transfiguration Class he had to leave.

"Not like the dumb cat would care if I came back from the loo or not." Severus muttered darkly to himself per usual.

So, now he had resided himself to wander the many halls of Hogwarts, trying to discover more of its buried secrets and mysteries. Strangely, all the paintings he'd come across the occupants were either missing or rolling around in their painted foreground, laughing or failing not to.

"Turn left, my boy! LEFT!" he heard Sir Cadogan scream.

*THUMP* *KLINK* *BANG*

"NO, NO, NO! LEFT!" the squat knight hollered

"The poor teen obviously can't hear you barmy excuse for a knight! Instead of giving us a royal headache, GO GET SOMEONE!" he heard some female portrait scream.

*CRASH* *KLUNK* BANG*

"My fair lady! A true swords man needn't some others help! We grit our teeth and forge on!" Sir Cadogan retorted.

"We all know you weren't a knight!" the gruff voice of another painting yelled out.

Severus was so preoccupied listening to the paintings get into a row about credibility that he didn't see the person heading for him.

"OW! You stupid git! Can't you tell –"Severus stopped midsentence upon seeing who the bumbling idiot was.

It was obviously Ichigo considering the obvious apparel and build and it didn't take a genius to figure out what was wrong with the poor Shinigami. He obviously was another victim of Peeves many annoying pranks. Peeves had recently learned to make sticky wickky glue, some creation of his that basically blinded those hit with it. He'd seen several classmates fall victim to the effects of the glue, he's even joined in on the laughter several times.

"Ichigo, I see you've finally met Peeves." Severus smothered his chuckle upon seeing said teen groping a picture for stability, one that was extremely uncomfortable with the repeated touching of her breasts.

"Huh? Oh, thank Kami! Do you know how to get this off? I was having a civil conversation with this small, translucent Jester before he reeled back and hit me with this!" Ichigo pointed at his face, as if it wasn't obvious enough.

"Yeah, hold on" he wordlessly/wandlessly did the cleaning spell, "that was Peeves, he's crass and the biggest pest ever. We tend to just pay extra attention to our general surroundings and get excellent at dodging." Severus dusted off his robes and began his sulking. Leaving Ichigo staring after him.

 _Man…he looks sad. Maybe…maybe I should do something like_ _ **kill someone?**_

 _YOU?! Why're you here?!_

 _ **King, I'm always here. Kinda sucks actually…gets boring real quick.**_

 _What do you want?!_

 _ **Beside out? Besides um control of your pubescent body? The other s**t I've been asking for since I came to existence?! *Sigh* I digress, what I came to say is…**_

 _Don't want to hear it! After last time on the dome I don't want to even remember you exist! So f**k off!_

 _ **King, this is really important it's about your-**_

Ichigo ignored the rest of what Hichigo was trying to say and instead focused his mind on cheering up Severus. "Hey! Wait up!" Ichigo said as he ran to catch up with Severus.

"What do you want?" Snape glowered at Ichigo, mad at him for interrupting his self-pity session once again.

"You looked…sad. Want to…talk about it?" Ichigo attempted to imitate Yuzu, the peace keeper of the Kurosaki family.

"Why do you care? Besides, not like you'd understand my life."

"Trust me, I bet you I can relate."

"Oh, Okay Mr. Therapist! My best friend flirting with my mortal enemy! While she avoids and won't even look at me, her childhood friend for years, the person who taught her about bloody magic and Hogwarts! But, no! Forget all that because I called her one bad word! Which I only did because I was being publicly humiliated by said guy she's now flirting with! Then, said guys friend sends me to meet a werewolf! Which Dumbledore knew about completely and has sworn me into silence with a stupid life-debt! Then, when I tried to apologize she accused me of wanting to be a terrorist because I hang with the wrong people! How unfair is that!? Can you even relate?" Severus screamed, releasing his anger upon the poor orange haired Shinigami.

"Okay…I can top that. I think one of my friends is in love with her kidnapper/warden. I think several of my friends are dying in a desert full of soul eating monstrosities. I turned into a monster and stabbed one of my friends in the stomach and beat a man so badly to death he turned to dust. I might have led to the death of my mother, which I immortalized and still do for years now. I also have a demon in my head that's constantly telling me to kill and destroy all of those I love. But, do I let it get me down? Nope! I get back up and do whatever I can to achieve my goals!" Ichigo finished with a thumbs up and dashing smile despite the horrored/ flabbergasted look he's receiving.

"So…I should do anything possible to get what I want?" Severus said slowly, as if contemplating the ramification of such a claim.

"Yep!"

"Even if the source isn't entirely…accepted?"

"I rely on the powers of the very thing I kill soooo… it's truly up to you and how determined you are" Ichigo said, not seeing the dark look in Severus' eyes, "Now if you excuse me, I have a ghost to konso." Ichigo leapt up and dashed off towards Peeves!

"Hey! GET BACK HERE!" Ichigo sped off towards a raspberry blowing Peeves! Within seconds the two were gone.

* * *

Lucius could see his prey across from him, 2 whole sections ahead of him. Her body sitting perfectly in her chair, legs crossed and her whole body surrounded by tons of books. _Merlin, yes!_ Was all he thought when he saw her bum in her chair.

He slowly crept up behind her and tapped her on her shoulder…only to have her grab his hand in a crushing grip and her sword at his neck. _Sexy as hell, too._

"Lucius Malfoy? For what reason have you impeded upon my sanctuary within the library?" which translated into "how the F**K did you get around my Pesquisa!?"

"I saw you reading one of my favorite books, Lucius looked at the table only to quietly throw up in his mouth, and I loved reading The Injustice of Purebloodic Thinking."

"You agree with the view that muggle-born witches and wizards are as justified to high positions in Wizard society and that possibly they've more potential." Ulquiorra couldn't help but, raise an eyebrow.

"Yes! I love m-mud-ELK…mudbl-*HACK* I LOVE having m-m-mud…I…have a LOT of money. Like a lot of money so much, I could buy and sell a person. Anything you want…I can buy. Sooo, Want to go with me for a (spiked) butterbeer?"

"…I'll be leaving now. Don't follow me, trash." Ulquiorra said closing the book he'd currently been reading, and began briskly walking away from the stunned teen.

"I…I…have access to the restricted area of the library" Lucius whispered loudly to the retreating espada, elated to see Ulquiorra stop midstride. _Yes, yes, yes!_

"The restricted area? You have access to the blocked section of the library?" Ulquiorra turned around, finding a faster, more efficient solution to said roadblock.

"Yes! I mean, certainly. It's a privilege that all the head boy of their house are given. I could…allow you access to said section…if you…let me hangout with me while you're in there. Please?" Lucius finished meekly.

"You are not to interrupt me in any way, shape, or form. Nor are you to sit too close to me. Understand?" Ulquiorra said, heading for the section and not waiting for the blond teen's confirmation.

Lucius waited for Ulquiorra to get out of range before he jumped for joy, _Roiser ain't got no 'thing on Malfoy swag!_ Malfoy quickly ran to catch up and spend 5 wonderful hours, uninterrupted just staring at the majestic creature, Ulquiorra Cifer.

* * *

Pomona couldn't help but, curse underneath her breath as once again half her students eyes travelled to the ceiling. "PAY ATTENTION!"

All eyes returned to their ever deadly Poisonous Tentacula and off the current primary distraction of every class today. Like some cat, Grimmjow had taken to sleeping on the many sun panels of the Greenhouse, basking in the sun and letting it warm his back. Throughout every class she's had to call hordes of girls (and several boys) back from drooling over themselves and pay attention to their plants!

"Now carefully, minding the vines, remove the leaves that are blocking the plant's eye. These have to be removed, so the sun can warm the eye to optimum temperature, making it less likely to wither or die completely." She said, as she walked around surveying the student's work, hearing several cursing underneath their breaths as some almost get strangled.

She went around helping those struggling and those almost killed by the plants, also hitting those whose eyes started to wonder. Everything was going fine until she heard a girl gasp and point to the sky. There lying stomach down was…was…a jacket-less Grimmjow! The sexiness was too much for the girls (and several boys) to handle! It was as if they were Imperioed and all they could do is stare in deathly lust. This would be all good and dandy, if the class' assignment for the day wasn't a deadly, poisonous plant!

Hence explains Molly's carelessness which, resulted in poking one of the pants in its eye with the sheers! Pissed off like a drenched cat, the plant began to shoot out spike balls in every possible direction, the occupants barely missing the spiked projectiles! This set a chain reaction til' all the Poisonous Tentacula were shooting off rounds of prickly balls.

"CLASS! QUICKLY CRAWL OUT OF THE CLASS ROOM! DON'T TOUCH THE VINES IN ANYWAY!" Pomona screamed to her class, some already doing such a thing. One by one the class escaped, all frazzled and mulch covered. Our Herbology teacher was helping the last student out when her leg was caught by one of the frenzied plants!

It dragged her close enough to its mouth, already she knew what it was doing and by Merlin was she scared! On extremely rare occasions, the Poisonous Tentaculas will kill their prey with a powerful acid it spits from its mouth, which is powerful enough to melt **human** skin! Unfortunately, she had front row seats to such a spectacle, and she was in the splash zone! She could hear the children screaming, as well as the plant filling its mouth with acid!

 _Extreme disfiguration is definite, if I survive that is! Oh Merlin! I'm going to die and all because I focus on some hunk of man meat! My love life and life in general is over in 5…4…3…2…1…_

She hit zero only to have nothing happen to her!? She cracked her eyes open to see Grimmjow holding her by her shawl, his hand covering the Plant's mouth. The man didn't even flinch upon being hit with the acid, his palm dripping with the copious amount of acid spewed upon it.

"*Siiiiigh* don't you crooked teeth, blimey a**ed, phallic-like object wielding s**ts ever stop screaming?! Woke me the f**k up!" Grimmjow yelled, while he carried the basically catatonic teacher to safety. He plopped the teacher down before going to slam the door shut, mumbling about Dumbledore and his Aizening.

"What the F**K are you guys still doing here!? Class DISMISSED! Go do whatever you s**theads do, I have sleep to catchup on!" He hollered upon seeing the class and teacher, standing there like deer in headlights. As he grabbed the door handle to slam it shut, he winced and yanked his hand back, a hiss escaping his clenched teeth. _The f**k!?_

Grimmjow quickly flipped over his hand, and looked at the previously acid covered skin in shock. Wherever the acid had touched flesh had a 1st degree burn upon it.

* * *

 **DADADADADAD DUUUUUUUUM! That's chapter 13, folks! The next few chapters are going to be slowly updated because…1. School is back in session (eww!) and 2. I want it all to be absolutely PREFRECT! However, it's NOT on hiatus nor will it be my ONLY story!**

 **However! Before I update I want to see at least 7 predictions you, the readers have! Doesn't have to be long! And there are absolutely NO dumb predictions. UNLESS YOU PREDICT IT WILL SUCK!**


	14. Chapter 14: Ballgame Blitz! (get it?)

For once in his life Remus wasn't the only one aware of something being horrible wrong. But, with all that's been happening this whole week leading up to the big Quiddicth game, you'd have to dumb as dirt to miss it. Let's recap what's gone down in the last seven days, starting on Monday.

On Monday, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra started to act very strange, more strange than usual. Grimmjow no longer insulted, goaded or interacted with anyone. The guy didn't even smile anymore, he just had this constant contemplative frowning expression. Ulquiorra, the calm one had done a 180 overnight, he was constantly tense and trigger happy, like he didn't trust his senses or something.

Then on Tuesday, Dumbledore interrupted dinner with a new rule: nobody is allowed anywhere close the forbidden forest. This was normal but, the fact he added that teachers weren't allowed either turned some heads.

On Wednesday, students started to get removed from Hogwarts in a variety of bizarre events. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Frank Longbottum came down with Dragon Pox and had to return home. Ludo Bagman, Amos Diggory and Gilderoy Lockheart all had long lost cousins getting married. Others disappeared on account of family deaths, sudden breakdowns, or more mysterious ailments.

On Thursday, teachers left and right were disappearing! Madam Pomona was given maternity leave, although she wasn't pregnant. Slughorn left with Professor Sinistra because they were rewarded with some achievement, which specifically dictated they had to be there in person. Flitwick spontaneously combusted while teaching, meaning he had to leave! Even Filch was given a vacation to Hawaii! What led everyone to suspecting all of these were connected was Dumbledore's suspicious look of relief at dinner.

And now it's Friday, Game Day, and Dumbledore's on some trip? No wonder a tons of conspiracies were a flutter!

"I'm telling you, it's all because of the visitors" some xenophobic, moppy-headed Gryffindor spouted to the whole table, "they're hypnotized Dumbledore into getting rid of people, so they can rule Hogwarts! But, Dumbledore broke free of the trance, so they had to silence him for good! That's why he's gone for the first time ever! He'd never miss a game unless he was dead!"

Remus couldn't help but, roll his eyes at the crazy theories circling the Gryffindor table since the beginning of breakfast.

"That's stupid! Dumbledore's too strong to be taken out! It's clearly some ploy to get ransom money. Hogwarts probably needs funds, so Dumbledore is taking things into his own crazy hands. That's why we've been banned from going anywhere near the forest. It's obviously because that's where they're being held in cages! Dumbledore's missing because tonight's the trade." A blond girl rebuked.

"You're both wrong! This is the work of dark magic and sneaky Slytherins!" some equally deluded student replied.

Remus couldn't say he particular liked all the theoretical paranoia but, it was better than all the hateful looks and spiteful words. All throughout the week, disgruntled fans had been making their dissatisfaction about James and Sirius's ban quite obvious, mostly through painful hexing.

"Mooney, she told me to sod off! Me, the devilishly handsome Sirius Black! I mean the match isn't that important, right Prongs? Prongs?" Sirius looked over to his right to see James, face-down on the table, his hands limp against his side.

"Prongs, it's not that bad! Sure, we're banned from playing…and the match will decide the winning house…and people were counting on you…and it's your favorite thing in the whole world…um… Oh, look on the bright side! You've got…no…how about…nope, not that either…you could…err…eat your cereal before it gets soggy." Sirius awkwardly pat James on the back before returning to his bagel.

"Great pep talk, Sirius, you deserve a trophy" Remus sarcastically remarked, "Come on…let get this over with." Remus heaved James' arm over his shoulder, dragging his depressed companion towards their gruesomely boring punishment.

"*Sigh* when the bloody hell does the "greater good" part come in to this?" Sirius said as he took James' other arm.

* * *

"And then, the seeker catches the Golden Snitch and ends the game!" Lily concluded her lengthy explanation on the rules of Quidditch to the Bleach crew.

"Wait…why're there waffles again?" a confused Ichigo asked.

"Doesn't matter, since you're not watching the game." Grimmjow said gruffly, "I'll take the outer areas of this place, you guys watch from the inside."

"Wait, isn't he going to watch? Isn't that why he even came in the first place?" Lily asked, straining her neck to see Grimmjow disappear behind the bleachers.

"No, he came because he's being punished, as are Nel, Ulquiorra and I. though I had nothing to do with what went down!" Ichigo said begrudgingly, as he headed for the far right side of the stadium bleachers, Ulquiorra taking the left.

"Punished?"

"Lil! Ulqui, Grimmy, I spent time at Hogsmeade with Siri, Remus, and James without asking for permission. So, Dumbledore is making us watch yous guys!" Nel told Lily, as she plopped down in her lap without permission.

 _That explains James' sudden bout of depression._ Lily thought to herself before focusing her attention on the game that'd just begun.

"ARE YOU EXCITED FOLKS!? We have ourselves a beautiful day for a Quidditch match, especially one as exciting as this! We have the team of green! The tricksters of Hogwarts! Let's hear some hisses for…! SUPERIOR SLYTHERIN" the spaz of an announcer screamed out, calling the first team upon the field, "Next we have the crowd pleasurers! The righteous roughhouse! Ladies, let your bad self roar for…! GODRIC'S GRYFFINDOR! The stadium was filled with cheers, boos and any other way one shows their support for the two teams.

"OKAY, LET'S HAVE A CLEAN AND FAIR MATCH! NO SHANKING, PUSHING, HEXING OR ANY PUFFY GUARDING! On the count of three, you start! 1…2….3!

And with that began the greatest disaster unrecorded in Hogwarts history.

* * *

"And another quaffel blocked by the Slytherin! Oh and it was such a lovely play, if I do say so myself! Oh wait! Can McNairy bring it back? Can he bring it back?! HE CAN! HE SCORES! 5 POINTS TO OUR BOYS IN RED!" the announcer screamed, basically jumping in his seat.

"Wait a moment! Bebory's spotted the Golden Snitch! He does a quick dive but, here comes Lucius! Oh it's neck and neck! Bristle to bristle! Seeker to seeker! THIS IS THE MOMENT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! THE CONCLUSION OF THE GAME! WHO'LL WIN THE HOUSE CUP!?

The crowd was going feral with cheering and chants, all on the edge of their seats!

"MALFOY'S IN THE LEAD, ABOU- NO! BEBORY BUMPS HIM OUT OF THE WAY! OH, CAN OUR SUBSTITUTE PULL OFF A SUPRISING VICTORY!? HE'S ALMOST GO- NOPE! SEEMS LUCIUS ISN'T GOING TO LIE DOWN IN DEFEAT! THEY SWOOP, SWERVE, AND DIVE! MAN, CAN ANYONE HAVE PREDICTED SUCH AN ENVENTFUL GAME?! IT'S BEBORY'S!

"NO, IT'S LUCUIS!"

"NO! BEBORY!"

"SCRATCH THAT, IT'S LUCIUS!"

"BEBORY!"

"LUCIUS!"

"BEBORY!"

"LUCIUS!"

"BEBORY!"

"LUCIUS!"

"BEBORY!"

"LUCIUS!"

"BEBORY!"

"LUCIUS!"

"BEBORY!"

"LUCIUS!"

"BEBORY'S GOT IT IN HIS GR- NOPE HIS HEAD FELL OFF!"

People continued to cheer for a while, till the words and their implication finally resonated in their brains. Soon, activity within the stadium slowly came to a halt, the only sound heard was the fluttering of the tiny Golden Snitch's wings.

"His…head feel o-off…I tho-ught w-w-we said n-n-no wands!? Haha...ha! Yeah, th-that's it! Penalty on Bebory! For using a wand. All just w-wand work, the little cheater!" The announcer said voicing the many hopes of the frightened occupants. "Wh-what a j-j-jokester!? Jokes over, get up Bebory!"

No movement came from the decapitated wizard, besides the blood slowly leaving his corpse.

"Bebory!? This isn't funny! Get up! BEBORY…G-get up! b-b-bebo" the announcer wasn't able to finish whimpering out his sentence before several other occupant's, players and audience, heads were cut off!

Pandemonium was inevitable after this. Soon, kids were running to and fro, trying to escape or hide! Some going as far as to whip their wands out, doing protective spells or attacks at figuements of their terrified brains! A few desperately clutched their dead friends and family, calling their names, as if pleading them to awaken.

Ichigo and Ulquiorra desperately searched for the cause of deaths when all of a sudden Lily shrieked, something was barreling right for her and Nel!

Lily close her eyes, clutching Nel to herself for protection, and waited for impact. Her life clichély flashing before her eyes. _I'm sorry, Tuney…mom and dad…Nel…a-a-and James!"_

Yet, nothing happened except for her being lifted a little in the air, and here hands suddenly clutching something super soft. She open her eyes and saw she was clutching the bountiful chest of some beautiful woman! Said woman had surprising stopped some stupidly designed double moon thing with her bare hands!

"That's…that's Santa Teresa! B-b-but that'd mean…" Ichigo slowly said, his mind still comprehending the utter horror of what such a thing meant.

Clap* *clap* *clap* a slow condescending clap echoed throughout the stadium, causing all to freeze and look towards whoever was doing it.

There, appearing out of nowhere, Lily saw what seemed to be four…beings.

One of them was a giant of a man, eating what looked like the remains of a centaur! He had clothes resembling what Grimmjow wore, even his bone thing and hole resembling the panther, only his was a complete jaw piece. He had a long ponytail and reddish orange face markings, one on each cheek. He let off an aura that screamed, I destroy first, then ask questions.

The next was…a guy (?), sporting three purple diamonds over his right brow and a hair comb bone thing. He (?) was tapping his foot impatiently, like he had somewhere else to be, as he fingered his pink-hilted sword.

Beside him was a hooker slut female, wearing pigtails and a bone piece that covered her right eye. She was wearing thigh high boots, a skimpy skirt, and a non-existent top. She also behaved like she had somewhere else to be. She strangely didn't have a sword, or anything that insinuated she should be feared or respected.

The last was the owner of the double moon thing. He was a tall, gangly man with long hair, and an eye-patch. He wore a strangely goofy hood/spoon, harem pants, and pointy, (cliché) witch boots. Upon his face was the creepiest grin in existence.

Within seconds the he/she and the other girl were gone, both departing with a blood thirsty grin.

"Fuck." Was all Ulquiorra, Ichigo, and Nel said, before getting into a battle stance.

* * *

Yep, here on out will be battle scenes, and the rating will go up to M! I'll leave a warning at the top of the upcoming chapters. So, like the big plot twist? Sadly, we're getting close to the end of this story but, everything comes to an end. And yes, Dumbledore knew this was coming, but didn't warn nobody (like usual)! Enough talking, we've got fighting to do!

My thinking:

So, I thought…hey let's have Ichigo and gang get their teeth kicked in…but, they're too strong for Voldemort or normal hollows, hence why I chose those 4. I actually re-researched the other Espadas' deaths and the way they died. I thought that Nnoitra's and Yammy's death were…well, lackluster. Nnoitra killed because Kenpachi used two hands? Dumb. And Yammy…well, they faded out while he was still twitching, with his dog sitting near him and all. Loly…well, she just went flying somewhere and Luppi is alive in later chapters. Then I thought the Ichigo and the gang might be too strong…but, I've taken care of that and it'll be explained! Thank you so much to the 26 followers of this story, and all the reviews, even the negative ones!


	15. Chapter 15: Thrilla in Manila

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter.

 **(WARNING: said chapter changes story from T to M! Contains graphic violence, language and gore! Reader discretion is advised!)**

 _Italics= thoughts_

* * *

"HEY GRIMMJOW! REMEMBER ME!?"

Grimmjow hesitated in confirming his assumption of who owned said voice. To his horror it was…Luppi Antenor.

"How the fu-ELK" Grimmjow was cut off by a powerful kick to his gut! His body skipping the ground several times, only stop by the trunk of a tree!

*COUGH**HACK*" Shit! The hell are you alive?" Grimmjow whipped the drool from his chin.

Luppi sonidoed in front to grasp his collar, "Well, let's say I had a pink-haired fairy godmother." Luppi lifted his shirt, showing an array of stiches and different colored skin. "And now I get my deserved revenge. FIGHT ME, GRIMMJOW!" Luppi slammed Grimmjow's head back against the tree he'd pinned him to.

"Szayelaporro?! That coke head of a scientist actually wasted time putting a shit like you back together?! *Sigh* Okay masochist, want another savage death?" Grimmjow put on a savage grin, happy to demolish Luppi.

Grimmjow slammed his head into Luppi's face and instantly slashed his stomach, only succeeding on nicking the snobby little bitch's bellybutton. Said man (?) parried and returned the attack with aggressive slashes of his pink-hilted sword.

The sound of metal clashing and the sound barrier breaking echoed throughout the battle ground. The grounds of Hogwarts being demolished, soon looking as if several dragons were let loose upon the castle.

Grimmjow hated to admit it but, the plant incident wasn't some fluke or accident, he'd actually weakened! As they broke apart, putting distance between the each other, Grimmjow knew he was obviously losing. It wasn't as if he'd stopped training or gained a few pounds but, his body felt slower. His strikes less precise, much sloppier. Grimmjow barely had enough time to duck the incoming barrage of girly pink ceros. His jacket getting a series of perfectly circular holes burnt into the fabric.

"Is this all you've got!? Give me a fight!" the former sixth stomped his feet, cracks expanding with each stomp.

 _That's it! I'm ending this now! Ain't got time to play with this Shit-tard!_

"This was favorite one, too. But, fine you, gender neutral ass-faced reject! You want a fight!? HERE YOU GO! GRIND PANTERA!" Grimmjow hollered as he dragged his claw posed hand downward. Only nothing happened. _That's…just not fair._ Grimmjow stared dumbly at his sword, repeating the motion several times, even shaking it like it had a faulty battery.

"HAHAHA! Wow! I thought my pesquisa was off but, no! You seriously have become this weak! You don't even possess enough reishi for your resurrection!? Sorry! This, Grimmjow is a resurrection." He quickly licked his lips before saying, "Strangle, Trepadora."

Grimmjow had to squint as a vicious windstorm was unleashed, the wind whipping everywhere so ferociously it pulled up trees and rocks! Which continued until the whole area was covered in a thick fog, all of which was deathly silent. Grimmjow felt a bead of sweat roll down his forehead, not liking how the battle was progressing.

 _Okay…I've gotten…severely weaker but, that just means once I kick his butt, I'll get to laugh ten times as hard._ Grimmjow thought, trying to reassure himself.

Grimmjow got into a defensive stance and cranked his unnaturally sensitive sense of smell and hearing up to full power, straining each to locate the Arrancar Octopus. His ears started to twitch, as the air rippled. _Something big hurtled through it…and straight for ME!_

A tentacle came hurtling from Grimmjow's left, which was covered in spikes that could easily skewer a mountain. "SHIT!" Grimmjow ducked only to discover the tentacles could change direction exceptionally well. As it came in for another jab, he jumped and sliced it off with one swipe of his sword.

"That all you got, you hentai beast?!" Grimmjow yelled, making absolutely audible to his hidden opponent.

Within seconds white appendages, each the size and width of a tree trunk, came from every direction of the fog.

"Well, that answers my question."

Grimmjow jumped, parried and sliced at each one targeting him, even cartwheeling several times out of harm's way! Pretty soon an abundance of tentacles layered the ground, all leaking an impressive amounts of blood. However, the feat didn't come without complications, along with the severed appendages was a panting Sexta, looking worst for wear.

Seeing the fog seemed adamant in hanging around, our blue-haired protagonist threw caution to the wind. "Fuck this!" Grimmjow yelled and rapidly began releasing cero after cero, disregarding the chance of hitting more than Luppi. He smiled wide upon hearing Luppi scream, meaning he'd just located the sneak.

"Got yah!" Grimmjow hide the exhaustion of using so many ceros from his voice, knowing he needed to end this and relatively quick or be defeated! But, just as he lock on his opponent he felt the Earth vibrate. Sadly, His reaction speed wasn't quick enough for him to avoid the sudden uppercut of a tunneling tentacle.

He clenched his teeth, not wanting to satisfy his opponent and steady himself in midair, however the onslaught wasn't over. One by one, tentacles burst from the ground, not giving him any choice but to run. Grimmjow growled in frustration as he sonidoed out of the way again, _the prick was basically "sniping" him repeatedly_! He was dragged from his thoughts, upon feeling something wet wrap around his leg. It was a partially severed tentacle, not strong but, it did its job in hindering him long enough. Grimmjow swore as tentacles swarm his legs, rendering them useless. _Rookie mistake!_

He was smashed repeatedly into rocks, dirt and the side of Hogwarts, as every tentacle he severed was quickly replaced by two others! Grimmjow felt his hierro weakening by the second, as each impact became stronger and stronger. _Didn't want to do this but…_ Grimmjow ceroed his legs, successfully removing all the tentacles before they could catapult him into the ground again.

Upon being freed he swallowed his pride and ran to rethink a battle plan. He quickly sonidoed to the top of the Astronomy Tower, sitting down with a hearty sigh.

"The fuck is going on? I can't be weaker than him…can I?" he shook his head, ridding himself of such a statement," No…he said gotten weaker, right? That means…I was…stronger…am stronger! But…ho-"Grimmjow's eyes widened, as he really took in his surroundings for the past few days and a certain conversation he'd had.

 _"So, if you guys feed off spirit particles why're you eating human food?"_

 _"Cause your fucking air is so damn barren when it comes to reishi we could actually die of starvation!_

"That human food hasn't done shit! My…my body's literally been **EATING ITSELF** in starvation!?" Grimmjow bottled his anger up in order to actually focus on living through his current situation. "Oh…damn! I've got to tell Ulquiorrra and Nel!" Grimmjow quickly jumped down the astronomy tower, set on warning his companions.

As he plummeted towards the base of the tower, ready to deliver his sudden realization…but Luppi apparently wasn't done playing with Grimmjow! Grimmjow couldn't bring his exhausted body to react fast enough to the tentacle coming at him, taking a spiky meteor smash to the side!

 ***SNAP***

Grimmjow tried and failed to withhold a gasp upon feeling (and hearing) a rib break, the others soon to follow their brother's condition. The bone crushing swing even managed to change his direction of descent, sending him toward Hogwarts castle! Grimmjow, knowing his momentum was too powerful to even attempt to stop it, braced for impact with the castle's exterior wall!

 ***CRASH***

His body went crashing through walls of solid brick, as if they were wet sheets of paper, his body coming to a halt when his side contacted a porcelain sink of some loo. The pure impact made the many mirrors and pipes burst! It didn't take long till the loo was a beach. The sand made of shards of porcelain and glass and a sea of water from ruptured pipes and Grimmjow's blood, his hierro finally out.

Grimmjow felt like shit. Just plain shitty. He could feel 4 of his ribs splintered and or cracked, one digging into his lung. His hair was flattened, surrounding his face due to blood and water. He felt the effect of a concussion for the first time ever and the acidic sting several ceramic shards imbedded within his muscles gave his nerves. He groaned as he rolled over to get on his hands and knees, his arms quivering as they held his ravaged body angstroms off the ground. _Is this what Strawberry feels when he fights!?_

The poor Espada really hated his gifted hearing, as he was still able to hear the onslaught of taunts and bashing of his pride through the tinnitus.

"Look at you! Going on about you being the strongest but you're not! You're all bark and no bite! Thinking you could beat someone like Ulquiorra, when you can't even beat a teenage boy?! No wonder your minions were killed, seeing as the idiots trusted you to lead them! HAHAHAH! Face it Grimmjow, your nothing but a joke of an Espada, Arrancar, and a hollow! Sorry."

The smug smile Luppi had as he stood over Grimmjow's busted body made his blood boil. But the worst fact of the matter was what Luppi was saying was true.

His fight against Ichigo in Hueco Mundo was pitiful, his enemy going as far as too spare his life. Imagine how easily Ulquiorra would've beaten him, seeing as he was the 4th. But, worse of all it was his fault that his "family" died. Not Aizen's. Not Ichigo's. His.

Grimmjow wanted to just take an eternal nap and forget about everything. Forget about Hogwarts. Forget about his petty rivalry. The guilt. Everything.

With an aggressive boot to the face, his eyes slid to a close.

* * *

 _The sand crunches beneath his paws, the immortal backwards moon loomed over his head. He didn't trust these four Adjuchas surrounding him in a circle, one spouting some sermon._

" _What'd be the point" he mumbled, his claws posed in case of another surprise attack from the motley crew._

" _We do not want to live our lives as Gillian or Adjuchas. One day, we will rise to be Vasto Lordes. But, to do that we need power, an immense power that can guide us." his clawed hand rose to the sky._

" _You, are that power. Come with us, let us walk together. You will become our king…Grimmjow."_

That last three words of the speech repeated over and over again, pounding it within his brain.

 _Wait…that's right…I'm going to be king…King of Hueco Mundo…who wouldn't lose to anyone, that'd rise above all others…Who'd stand up tall to all his foes, no matter what the power difference…and no one would take his crown…ESPECIALLY NOT LUPPI._

* * *

Grimmjow's eyes burst open, upon feeling the rapid fluctuation of the room temperature.

"Oh pooh! And here I thought I'd finally have a companion. But, no ugly Myrtle isn't allowed to have friends."

"W…wha the hell are *Cough* you?" Grimmjow rasped out at the strange phantom hovering in front of him. _Shit! Everything hurts!_

"I should be asking you that, seeing as this is **my** bathroom! I was having a lovely crying session when you come flying in. shattering all of my things! And have the audacity to question my existence!" tears rolled down the ghost girl's face.

"Yeah…yeah, don't remind me of my royal ass kicking. Already have enough things shattered to think about that." Grimmjow said as he tried climbing to his knees, failing miserably.

"*sigh* And here I thought we'd get along seeing as we have so much in common! We both were brutally taunted and beat up. Both have bullies taking our things. Even-"

"Wait! Taking my th- OH THAT FUCKER TOOK PANTERA!?" Grimmjow seethed, imagining the cocky smirk Luppi must've had taking his Zanpakutō. "Just wait, Fucker!" Grimmjow scrambled to his feet, instantly feeling the effects of broken bones and extreme blood loss.

"Uggggh…forgot I've the strength equivalent to a roided out human, at best!" Grimmjow slumped against one of the few intact sinks, withholding the urge to vomit.

"I know how you can get revenge against your bully." Myrtle came real close to Grimmjow's face

"You know how to beat him? You?!" Grimmjow tiredly raised a brow

"Yes! It worked perfectly fine for me!" the bathroom haunt said offended

"Okay. How do I kick Luppi's transgender ass?"

"Die." Myrtle smiled, happy to be of service

"Die? Like…die die? Suicide. You suggest…suicide?" Grimmjow said slowly, his face slowly getting angrier and angrier.

"Yes! Then, you torment him for all the insults, and mean pranks!" Myrtle said joyfully, seeing her advice as actually helpful. Completely missing the animosity radiating off Grimmjow.

"Suicide…suicide? Suicide?! You translucent, four-eyed bitch! Killing myself is the solution to my problem?! Who thought this place could get shittier? I sure as hell didn't, but you've made me doubt my previous outlook! I just got my pride and honor ripped out, raped, and then super raped! But, nooo! You've got the brilliant idea to off myself! Fuck you! Fuck Dumbledore! Fuck Luppi! FUCK HOGWARTS and all that inhabit it! From the teachers down to the last hou-"Grimmjow stopped mid-rant," that's it! Why didn't I think of it earlier!? The solution has literally been within the castle the whole time!" Grimmjow smiled, almost jumping for joy.

Grimmjow kissed Myrtle upon the cheek before hobbling to the gaping hole of an exit. "Dumbledore never said they were off limits!"

Myrtle watched the bruised and battered man leave with a giant feral smile on his face

* * *

"Oops! Dropped it again!" Luppi said to no one in particular, as he skipped over to where he'd thrown Pantera.

Said man had been spending the last couple hours "hurting" Grimmjow's most prized possession. He'd dropped it down a flight of stairs and kicked it around like a pebble. He'd stuffed it in several trash bins and toilets and He'd been using it to reach under the dustiest and or filthiest places imaginable. As of now he was tossing it as the many stone walls of Hogwarts, smiling at his victory against Grimmjow.

 _Haaah, I feel as bright and skippy as a little girl! In fact I could just sing!?_

Luppi was dragged from his thoughts when something of sizable weight collided with the backside of his head! He could feel liquid dripping down his skull.

Quickly whipping around to find…nothing, except for the corpse of some strange creature lying at his feet. Its head had cracked upon impact with Luppi's skull, which explained his suddenly wet hair. It had gigantic eyes for such a tiny creature as well as elephant-like ears! Some raggedy pillowcase was the only clothing to be found upon the dead creature. The oddest thing was, no marks or injuries were found on the thing.

 _The hell…_

"Hey, Luppi! Thanks for the nap." A familiar voice called out.

Luppi slowly turned to find Grimmjow, who looked a lot better than before! He no longer had any extreme bruising, all either gone or having faded significantly. His scorches! The fractured bones! Lacerations! most of the other previous damage gone!

"Shame really. You were so close…what's with that look? Don't tell, me you shat your pants in fear?" Grimmjow said mockingly, a fake shocked expression upon his face.

"H-how!?" Luppi stuttered as he whipped Pantera back in its sheath, adamant to keep Grimmjow from it. "I-I-I left you bleeding! Concussed! Broken! How are you even standing?"

"I'm not going to lie…House elves aren't half as fulfilling as a human, but several hundred can do wonders for a starving man!" Grimmjow said, tossing another drained elf at Luppi's feet.

Luppi looked down at the empty husk of a midget, instantly regretting it as it gave Grimmjow time to attack. As a result, he received a glass-filled fist to the face!

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Luppi screeched, as the glass shards destroyed one of his eyes, "Grimmjow you bast-ELK!"

Grimmjow unleashed a reign of fists upon Luppi, not allow him any recovery time. One after another connected with the former Espada's face, his skull being reshaped with each blow! Grimmjow finished with slamming Luppi's head into a stone wall, causing a miniature crater to form.

Luppi opened his one good eye, seeing Grimmjow reaching for Pantera, something he wasn't going to allow! With bloody fingers he grabbed a vase and slammed it into the side of Grimmjow's skull. Surprised to see it had any effect upon the healed Arrancar!

With a quick kick to the stomach, he sent Grimmjow flying. "See, you're still hierro-less?" he said gleefully, as he released a three ceros after Grimmjow.

"Tch!" Grimmjow clenched his teeth, mad to find he's wasn't even close to his original condition, and quickly sent three ceros to counteract Luppi's.

The six destructive light beam collided in air, stray little beams bouncing everywhere! Portraits and carpets were burned and or scorched, holes soon riddled the walls!

Grimmjow got down to a crouch and barreled towards Luppi's from his new blind spot, using his sonido to increase the momentum of said tackle. The crash of the two bodies was so loud it could've pop human eardrums! Luppi, being the smaller of the two, didn't stand a chance against the blue haired cannonball, resulting in him being sent catapulting through several walls!

The hollow landed in a bloody heap on the Divination classroom floor, before tiredly scampering to his feet. Luppi looked around the strange, curtained room before seeing his reflection in a crystal ball. He looked horrendous! He was now blind in one eye, as a result of having glass imbedded within it, the blood yet to cease flowing. His clothes were ripped and torn in too many places to count. While bruises littered his body, as well as several large gashes from the crash. Worst of all being the exhaustion! He knew his moves were becoming easier to track and he couldn't seem to catch his breath.

"Hey, Luppi? Drop something?" Grimmjow held up Pantera, whom he'd stolen from Luppi during his destructive tackle. Strutting his way through the Luppi-like hole in the wall, smiling at the rapid turn of events.

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE!?" Luppi screeched, ripping strands of hair out in psychic frustration. The Arrancar was twitching violently, enraged to see his easy victory was all for not.

"Kings don't roll over and die." Grimmjow smugly retorted, not even looking at Luppi. Which infuriated the other Arrancar

"KING!? YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A MISTAKE! A FAILURE! I DESERVED TO BE SIXTH, NOT YOU! ME! ME! ME!" Luppi frantically hollered, having a literal meltdown.

"…You're getting your ass handed to you by a mistake?" Grimmjow spat onto the floor.

"DIeDiEDieDiEdIeDIEDIEDIE!" Luppi charged Grimmjow, he was basically seeing red!

The fight turned absolutely vicious! Everything from desks to crystal balls were thrown or used to bludgeon each other to death. Technique and strategy was thrown out the window, each man relying on brute strength to kill their opponent! Soon, ending with Grimmjow sitting atop Luppi's lacerated chest, strangling the man. Grimmjow didn't stop until Luppi's fingers stopped twitching and his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"*Huff* *huff* I-I…won? I…won. HAH! SUCK IT, you dumbass bitch!" Grimmjow clambered off Luppi's corpse, mentally and physically preparing himself for the long trip back to the Quidditch field.

* * *

Grimmjow knew he wasn't looking so good, in fact he actually felt worse than before. Seeing as his heirro was non-existent as of now, his body had taking quite the toll! He knew he had 3 maybe 4 broken ribs, one digging deep into his lung. He was pretty sure he didn't usually have glass shards in his skull, nor only one ear. With every step, his nerves kept shooting painful signals throughout his body and his previous injuries back with a vengeance.

 _Hope Dumbledore enjoys the remodeling I did…Heh! Serves him right. Putting me through this shit, probably knew we were starving! Man, I should take Pantera and ram him clear though h-_

Grimmjow stopped walking, as blood started dripping from his mouth. Ever so slowly, his eyes traveled to his chest, where all the searing pain seemed to be radiating from. A sword….a sword had run completely through his chest, the blade sticking out prominently!

"I…said…I-I-I'd win…and I *hack* meant it!" Luppi whispered, leaning close to Grimmjow's ear.

He then ripped his blade from Grimmjow's chest, watching gleefully as Grimmjow fell without any resistance.

"Bye-bye, King." Luppi said mockingly, before he headed down the corridor.

* * *

Luppi hadn't gotten even five steps away before he was ripped to the ground by his hair!

"ACK! What the fu-"Luppi stopped midsentence upon seeing his offender.

No words could describe the absolute terror Luppi felt as the true embodiment of destruction stared him in the eye. It was Grimmjow, but not him all at the same time! He only got one good look at said man's eyes, both of which were dilated slits, before Grimmjow sunk his sharp teeth into his face! He ripped and tore what remained of Luppi's face, more like a wild beast than a hollow. Blood, tissue and flesh covered the top half of his bleeding torso! This continued for hours, Grimmjow not stopping his crazed assault, even though Luppi had stopped screaming and twitching.

The occupants of the paintings watched, frozen in horror, witnessing the rare site of hollow cannibalism. Every bloody second imprinted within the pastel people's brains.

Soon it became quiet, as the panther stopped brutalizing the remains of Luppi. Not a sound was heard in the corridor for what seemed to be a millennium. Every "living" thing deathly still, as to not direct the feral man's rage towards them.

After what seemed like days, but was actually mere seconds, Grimmjow reeled back and released deafening, psychotic laugher, so powerful his body was shaking. Said act continued for as long as he remained conscious, not stopping despite his vocal cords burning or the difficulty his lungs were going though. One thought ran through his mind before losing consciences.

" _Long live the king."_

 ***THUD***

* * *

To Be Continued…

Author's note: okay, ya'll are probably WTFing as of now because of that battle end. Took me forever to plan and I whole heartingly believe Grimmjow would eat an opponent if Bleach was rated R. Plus, in the Hollow world, being eaten shows the opponent is stronger and better than you, hence Grimmjow eating Luppi. Also just explained why Dumbledore is stronger than the bleach crew! Don't care how strong you are, if your body is a starving mess you can't fight your best!

Also Angstrom is a measurement!

This my first attempt at an action scene EVER! Hope I did Grimmjow's battle justice! Now forward to the next battle sequence!


	16. CH 16 three will, three will ROCK YOU

**Warning following chapter contains violence and profanity! Viewer discretion advised!**

 _Italics= thoughts_

"Nnoitra. I see you've healed nicely…I suppose you're here for a rematch?" Nel said calmly, ignoring the rapid questionings of Lily.

"Look who's the smart bitch. You bet your fat ass I'm here for a rematch." Nnoitra as he yanked Santa Teresa back and swung it over his shoulders.

"Nel! Nel, what happened to you!? The bloody hell, is he!? Fight!? Again!? What-"Lily would have continued her rants but Nel began drooling on her forehead!

"You had a bump forming. Now, go take care of others. I've got this." Nel flashed a reassuring smile before screaming, "I'll fight you if you catch me!"

Within seconds, the two Arrancars were gone.

* * *

The two arrived in one of the main corridors, each at one end of the hallway. The air was stifling with tension, which only seemed to grow with each passing second of silence.

"Let's get this over with, seeing as civil conversation is nonnegotiable." Nel calmly said as she got into a battle stance.

"That's all I've ever wanted!" Nnoitra said before raising his reishi rapidly before exclaiming, "Pray, Santa Teresa!" releasing his form and all its four armed glory.

"Ready to lose b-"Nnoitra didn't even get a chance before Nel had disappeared, "What the f-URK!"

He exclaimed, as Nel sucker punched him in the stomach.

Before he could fall to his knees, Nel delivered consecutive left and right hooks to his body. Finishing with a round house kick to send the mantis rapist flying!

 _There…now I can go help Ulquiorra and Ich-_

'Please tell me you were holding back?" Nnoitra said, extracting himself from the rubble of what used to be a wall.

 _What?! I…I didn't hold back!_ "Oh course, allow me to rectify my mistake!" Nel prepared herself for the long battle ahead. She only hoped she'd, hide her shock from her opponent. However, guessing from the look of satisfaction in Nnoitra's eye, she hadn't.

Nnoitra charged at Nel, weapons raised, ready to taste first blood. He brought down two scythes with a heavy *Whoomp*

Nel seeing Nnoitra was not only sturdier but, somehow faster, saw no time to dodge and slid beneath the two weapons. The sound of the wind being sliced rung in her ears.

"Oh no, you don't bitch!" Nnoitra exclaimed as one of his free arms grabbed Nel's sliding body by her long locks, pulling her back like a dog on a leash.

Using one hand he held Nel's hair and with another her wrists, both in an iron-like grip. He quickly sprouted two more arms, allowing the remaining four to go Chris Brown on the dangling tres, wanting to savor every last minute of the battle.

*HACK!* blood flew from Nel's mouth, her body as we know no longer as durable as before. Every type of punch imaginable rained down upon Nel. Before he slammed her spine into a wall. Hard. The blinding pain of the reverberation shooting up her spine nearly knocked her out cold.

"Come on!" Nnoitra slapped Nel, "You've got to fight back!" Upon receive no answer Nnoitra furrowed his brow and raised one scythe, seeing if several deep slashes to the face would get her moving.

He picked up one of the discarded scythes littering the floor and lifting it high upon his head. However, just as he brought it down for a swipe, Nel attacked. Swinging her body downward, her head cleared the blade allowing the only thing cut to be her long locks of green. The horrid haircut successfully freeing her from one restraint. She then quickly used said momentum to spring board off the wall behind her, ramming her Hollow mask dead center into Nnoitra's face. The head-butt demolished the Quinta's nose causing blood to splatter the woman's hollow mask.

"GAAAHHHH! You fucking whore!" Nnoitra screamed the pain excruciating as hell. Nel, far from finished, took her sword and slashed deeply into Nnoitra's chest. Before, promptly smashed her heel into the open and bleeding wound! The force behind the kick sent the Quinta skidding back till her and Nnoitra were a great distance apart.

"I must say…you've gotten stronger but so has your ignorance. I've given you so many chances and yet you refuse to heed them. Let's end this." She spread her legs and held her sword straight out in front of her, ultimately deciding to for lay the mercy and get back to aiding her companions. However, before she could finish said motion something dreadful occurred, Grimmjow's reishi flickered out!

 _No…this can't be possible!? Grimmjow can't possibly be…dead!_

The Quinta, seeing Nel distracted, quickly took the advantage and fired a powerful yellow cero at her. Making extra sure that it was as big as possible.

Nel was pulled from her trance when one of the few remaining painting occupants screamed, "LOOK OUT!"

 _OH CRAP!_ Seeing no opening to swallow, she quickly ducked out of the way of Nnoitra's cero. Which sadly left her wide-open for a round house kick to the face, launching her through two sturdy walls before being halted by the Transfiguration's black board.

Nnoitra was upon her in seconds, not about to give the female time to reorient herself. He slammed the hilts of his scythes into Nel's stomach repeatedly, enjoying the convulsion each impact brought upon the slumped figure. A gruesome smile stretched even wider upon his face when he thought he heard something crack.

 _Quickly! You've got to get up!_ Out the corner her scrunched eyes was an ink bottle, which had fallen from the desk. Before the next blow could land, she reached for the bottle and flung it into Nnoitra's eye.

"GRRRR! You Bit- where'd she go!?" the fifth said wiping the ink aggressively from his eye, only to find his prey missing.

"UP HERE!" Nnoitra followed the sound of the voice upward, which was just in time to receive the plummeting Ax kick straight to the face. The floor crumpled and sent both tumbled down. Down. Down. Before coming to a stop upon the stairs leading to the Dungeons.

"Ack! You dumb c**t!" Nnoitra went to swipe at Nel's stomach, yearning to disembowel the woman, only to find something horribly wrong. Nnoitra's tall frame could barely move within the cramped hallway, his release form only making it borderline impossible on account of the many hands and horns. _Oh shit!_

He couldn't help but, flinch at the sickly sweet smile Nel directed at him, as she slowly walked towards him. He could see the veins popping with each clenching of her fists and her eyes screaming, "Hope you like the taste of your teeth!"

He watched, completely incapacitated, as Nel elbowed, punched, and kicked every exposed inch of skin. One could've heard the beating from a mile away with how loud each hit echoed. She ended the glorious street stomping by kicking the bleeding and bruised mantis down the stairs.

Nnoitra landed on his back with a thud, his release form knocked out of him. Not, believing how she was winning still despite being a **woman** and starving to death!

 _No! No! No! She can't win! Guess I'll have to use that!_ He raised his head to see the green-haired woman approaching with her sword out, obviously wanting to end this now and forever.

"Whoa! Woah…hold on! Before you do that…I've gotta "gift" for you!" Nnoitra reached behind his back to pull out…

 **Two masks.**

The first mask used to be insect-like but, now looked like some sort of modern art. One horn had been broken, while the other had dried blood lingering on it in several places. The purple patch covering one eye was torn to shreds, making it look more like a natty tissue than anything else. The eye socket across from it was no more, it had been replaced with a crater.

The other mask could've easily been mistaken as a busted tikki mask. The eyes were gone, as were several pieces surrounding said area. Marks that resembled claw marks were beneath each eye, which were emphasized by the blood caked into each claw groove. The bottom half of said mask was gone, leaving the upper jaw portion, which was missing one tooth. A good chunk of the upper-right portion of the mask was broken off.

Nnoitra threw them at Nel's now quivering feet, before he began talking. Wanting to rub the salt in as deep as possible, like the asshole he strived to be.

"You see, there's a sad tale attached to this "exotic" masks. They originate from two former Arrancars, whom had the misfortune of having their masks ripped off. Because of this they were cast out of Las Noches. However, don't despair because they were completely useless. So, they with the help of one random Gillian, protected a little girl! Interesting, right? Well, sadly they lost said little girl and had to search far and wide. They were so sad! Then, they ran into a tall, one-eyed man, who knew where said girl was! Said man then, raised his sword an-ERK" Nnoitra was cut off by a tackle.

"YOU BASTARD" Nel tackled the fifth with a blood curling scream, "YOU KILLED THEM! MY…MY BROTHERS! I'LL MURDER YOU! TEAR YOU LIMB FROM FUCKING LIMB!" Nel straddled the toppled fifth, clawing, punching and pulling his hair out by the roots, as tears poured down her cheeks.

Nnoitra ripped the hysterical woman off of him tossed her toward the further end of the corridor, her body skidding the pavement.

Nel, driven by murderous rage, dug her fingers into the stone and launched herself right back at her opponent, her fingers leaving a divot in the cobbled flooring.

Nnoitra countered it easily by elbowing her barreling body in the face, before smashing on her to the ground with a following axe kick.

"GAH!" exclaimed Nel, the wind knocked from her as her spine impacted the floor. She failed to roll out of Santa Teresa's range fast enough, her side cut as Nnoitra slammed it down on her winded body. Quickly righting herself, she charged him again, only to easily be countered and smashed in the back of her head with Santa Teresa.

Nell was playing right into Nnoitra's cowardly ploy! Nnoitra watched with limitless glee as Nel no longer thought any of her moves through, her mind blinded by rage like a low level hollow. Instead, of living up and using her skills as the former Third Espada, she fought at a level subpar to Yammy!

 _Oh Aizen! Yes! Isn't justice great!?_ Nnoitra thought as he saw his arch rival shakily climb to her feet, quickly unleashing a cero on the upset female. This time hitting its target, sending her straight into the wall!

"Nel…how the mighty have fallen! Where's your self-righteousness now?! I told you I was and am stronger than you! And I always will be because I'm number one!" Nnoitra said raising his weapon high over his head! A child-like joy flooding his one eye.

"Bye bye Nelliel _Tu_ Odelschwanck, burn in Hell!" Nnoitra said, just as he was going to bring down his sword! But, he stopped.

 **Pssssssshhhhhh!**

Tiny sprouts of water started spring out, squirting the one-eyed man in the face. He looked to the wall to see large cracks sprouting among the brick. He continued to dumbly watch as the cracks grew and expanded, all along the way water trickling in in various amounts!

His eye slowly traveled downward, following the cracks to find them originating from the dent made in the wall by Nel's fist.

"…Oh you…bit-"Nnoitra's remaining sentence was drowned out by the gallons of sea water flooding the hallway!

* * *

In a random cabinet in the kitchens hid a soaking wet child, hunched over crying as she smothered her reishi into nonexistence. Nel had reverted back to her toddler-like self physically and mentally.

"Pesche…Dondochakka…*Sob* Nel wants to go home…don't like magic. *hic* Nel didn't want anyone to die *sob* Nel scared…Itsygo...pwease help Nel!" tears poured down Nel's face as she clutched her "brothers'" masks to her chest, unsure of what to do anymore. She quickly scrunched closer to the corner, as every noise made her jump in absolute terror.

Soon, seeing no point in remain awake in the current nightmare she resided, she closed her eyes falling into oblivion. All the while remembering the games of tag, the laughter, and the love the three shared together for so many years.

 _Pesche…Dondochakka…why'd you go and leave Nel?_

Just then from the deep and dark trenches of her scrambled mind a long forgotten memory flashed before her eyes, playing like some movie.

 _It was her, but not her. She was covered by some type of white uniform and her hair was much longer. Around her were two figures, their bodies also covered by tarps. Strangely, the skinny one had the exact same voice as Pesche._

" _Master_ _Nelliel Tu_ _Odelschwanck_ _, has died. Her mask destroyed, all her power lost. Her memory erased. The girl that lies before us is not Master Nel… however, we must protect her…from Nnoitra… Szayelaporro…from suffering and hardship. From all dangers and adversities. If our master has become defenseless, we must shield her with our lives! We swore to so this"_

More memories of her past resurfaced, all depicting her time as the Tres Espada. Her battles. The meeting. Her honor. And her fall from glory.

 _Pesche…Dondochakka...you…you died protecting me! Nel…Nel…will win…will survive…will avenge you!_

Nel awoke from her long trip down memory lane with a clearer mind and a set goal.

"Nel…isn't a child no more, Nel…no, I will defeat that monster of a man! Make him pay for all those he's hurt! I'll live and won't waste your sacrifice!" Nel said composing herself, her eyes ablaze with determination. No longer was she going to hide or wait for someone to rescue her! No, her mind, heart, and soul was set upon one thing and one thing only: Nnoitra's death!

* * *

Nnoitra was traveling the castle, demolishing whatever he wanted as he tried locating Nel. Feeling pissier than ever.

 _Always knew the uppity slut could hide but this is-_

Nnoitra snapped out of thoughts, sensing Nel's location thought her sudden spike in reishi. "Got you now!" he sonidoed to the Kitchens, only to find the trail had gone cold again.

"FUC-AAAH!" Nnoitra screamed as out of nowhere a tiny pink cero hit him, singeing the skin of his hand. He didn't even have enough time to see where the first one originated from, before another hit his cheek.

"Gah! Where are yo- OUCH!" he patted his harem pants, extinguishing the fire when he was hit with another cero!

This continued on and on. Attack after attack coming from nowhere at great speeds. It wasn't long before the fifth lost it and started shooting ceros at random, destroying any possible hiding spots! Holes soon littered the walls, furniture, even the floor. Making it extremely easy to locate the toddler using classic guerilla warfare.

"Come out, come out little rabbit…THERE YOU ARE!" Nnoitra launch Santa Teresa, which promptly sunk into her ribs. Oddly, Nel made no noise despite the severity of the wound. Heck, it seemed like she didn't even attempt to dodge the blade!?

Much like Scorpion from Mortal Combat, he dragged his impaled opponent towards him. All the while, the green haired toddler had not moved an inch.

 _Did I instantly kill her?_

He kicked the crumpled child several times, each impact seemed to echo but Nel never twitched once. "Hmm? Guess you died…kinda anticlimactic." He said holding his archenemy by the scruff of her neck, a sneer of disgust upon his face.

Suddenly the child's eyes busted open, both pupils ablaze with fury, determination and pity.

"NEL! YOU'RE AL-"that's all Nnoitra got to say before Nel opened her mouth, releasing the multiple ceros she'd secretly swallowed. All of which were combined and amplified, creating something akin to a laser with atomic bomb-like power! Nnoitra's impenetrable hierro never stood a chance nor did anything located behind him.

When the smoke cleared all that was left of Nnoitra was from his abdomen down. Every single bone, artery, organ, and muscle was vaporized from existence. Not a drop of blood spilt from the remains as the very heat of the blast had evaporated it!

Nel fell to the ground with a thud before hacking up copious amounts of blood, seeing as her miniature size couldn't physically withstand the strain of it all. The poor girl's eyes watered as she withered upon the floor of the kitchen, her very organs feeling like liquid mush! But, she didn't allow that to slow her down as she still had much to complete.

"Nel…gots to help Grimmy…gots…help…GRIMMY!" the Arrantot willed her battered and broken body to move, adamant on saving her fallen comrade. Disregarding her body's repeated signal to stay still, she forced each step toward the Blue Panther.

* * *

Nel slowly climbed the stairs, following the seemingly endless trail of destruction in order to find Grimmjow.

 _Where are you Grimmy?_

Nel was abruptly pulled from her thoughts as the staircase shifted beneath her, exactly midstep! Nel swore as her body went hurtling backwards. Unable to catch her balance she closed her eyes, bracing herself for the impact of carpeted, oak steps…

" _Nel…Nel…wake up!"_

 _She bolted awake to find herself back in Hueco Mundo!?_

" _Wha!? Whowhatwherehow!?" the Green-locked girl stuttered._

" _Nel, are you okay? You have a bad dream?" Pesche said, swinging his arms around frantically, like he's known to do._

 _Utterly confused and bewildered she surveyed her current surroundings, only to find that it was in fact Hueco Mundo! She turned her head to see Dondochakka snoring loudly, as a giant snot bubble formed from his nostril._

" _Wha…Nel asleep!? All that some nightmare!?" she sobbingly said, quite confused and relieved at the same time. Her mind running miles per minute, trying to process all that was happening._

" _Nel," Pesche pulled the distraught broken-skulled girl closer to him," Everything's all right…here, you can sleep next to me tonight. And in the morning we'll play some more Eternal Tag!" he pat Nel's head and wiped her tears away._

 _Nel liked that idea so, she inched closer to the beetle masked hollow and closed her eyes, laying her head upon Pesche's chest._

…The slumped body of a horrible damaged little girl, her cheek smushed to the floor and her arms limp by her side, lay in the Hogwarts corridor at the foot of the staircase. The little legs swung to and fro, trying desperately to move its shoeless feet towards some unknown destination, ceased and her eyelids inched slowly towards closing. Her nose and mouth formed a miniature pool of blood with every drop that escaped its limp and bruised container. As her glossy eyes shut, a tiny smile adorned her lips…

It was as if she'd finally fallen asleep.

To Be Continued…

Yep! I a went there and I'm not sorry!

Any who, I told you Nel was crucial to the story and would play a major role. Have to say this one was rewritten more times than I'd want to count because Nel isn't a killer, nor would she really become one. Buuuut…everyone up in this bitch is getting BEAT! I'm going to try and finish the next chapter as soon as possible. But, life happens and stuff hinders your free time . One good thing happened though: a new baby entered my family tree! Any who…I'll try to get the next two out but with this being the climax, I can't have it be half assed! And don't hesitate to leave any criticism, no matter how small.

Now, off to writing the next action packed chapter!


	17. Chapter 17: Loly Loly OH! Loly STOP!

**I'm not dead!** **Okay, so this was a long time coming I know but...lets just say a lot happened in such a little time, family stuff that I'm not going into. Then, combine that with crippling depression, anxiety and lack of self-worth due to bullies. ALL bound together with preparing and getting into College, it's real hard to do junk. But, I'll try to pump out the last...3 (yeah, three) chapters. This and the next probably being the longest. Now, without further adieu. ENJOY!**

 **Bold= Japanese/foreign language**

 _italics= thoughts_

* * *

"This sucks. This sucks. This sucks. This sucks. This sucks. This sucks. THIS SUCKS!"

Remus' eye twitched as he listened to Sirius bellyache about the wandless cleaning they'd been assigned. Did he hate it? Yes. Did he want to be down at the game with the others? Hell yes. Was complaining going to get the work done faster? No.

"Sirius. Shut up." the teen wolf directed at his pal, not able to take the incessant rambling of how xenophobic the professors were or how they're being framed after going the extra mile for peace between other worlds.

"What?! Can't I grieve? Am I to be silenced as this injustice continues!? Oh, woe is me, for I've been scandalized with minute proof!" Sirius said in a mocking Shakespearean way, putting a halt to the half-assed job he called dusting. "James, back me up here mate!"

James slowly turned his head from the window he'd been "cleaning" for the past twenty minutes, his face now even more glum than before, if that was even possible. "Come off it Sirius…just finish your job." his head returning to the floor as he gathered the trash littering the floors, left over from several 7th years on spiked Butterbeer.

"Why? For the greater good? Yeah, I'm definitely saving lives with my handy, dandy feather duster. Take that you spiteful dust bunnies! Have at thee!" Sirius swished and slashed at the books, like a knight from the many painting of Hogwarts.

"Sirius sto-AHH!" James toppled to the ground as Sirius leapt upon his back like some overactive tike. James looked over to Remus for help to find said boy smothering his laughter, and doing a piss poor job at both hiding and/or stopping it.

"Come, my brave stallion! The wretched dander is attacking the long-forgotten Troll Wars history section of the library!" Sirius playfully kicked his sides as he steadied himself. Happy to see his friends' previously dower faces melting, even James stopped looking like his owl had died in his arms.

"Oh no! Padfoot! An evil minion has entered our perimeter and swiped our wands! Whatever shall we do?" James said pointing at Remus as he climbed to his feet, carefully balancing the two of them.

"Offensive maneuvers, my trusty Prongs!" Sirius said as he points his duster at Remus watching as the werewolf backed away, a smile upon his face.

The three broke off in a sprint, pointedly ignoring their punishment and soon dragging Orihime into their game. The three wizards unaware their childlike innocence wouldn't survive the day.

* * *

 **20 minutes later….**

The battle was won, but they'd never be the same! Princessa Gryfinclaw was now free and on her way to be the first astronaut doctor on Mars (Orihime added the doctor astronaut part), Prongs now a human and a knight thanks to the angelic mop. While Sirius had become king with his trusty (now pardoned and un-brainwashed) Remoon at his side as they proceeded to conquer the rising power of the dark forces!

"And so, Remoon, we must strategize a way in bringing hell to the dark ones. I say a horde of phoenixes would do it!" Sirius said as he righted the paper hat crown they'd made of loose parchment, his trusty duster tucked in his belt loop.

"Nonono, your regaliness. The phoenixes are still on vacation as decreed by Princessa Gryfinclaw. We must…we must…what's that smell?" Remus said as he rose from his seat on the floor, his nose started to scrunch up at some sudden, putrid stench.

"What? I don't smell anything?" James said as he sniffed the air and even himself, confused at what his friend was getting at.

"Oh…Merlin! It's…getting worse! Can't you guys smell that?! It's coming from everywhere and it keeps getting stronger!" Remus said a little too aggressive as he clamped down hard on his nose, trying everything to stop the odor from entering his nostrils. It was just too terrible to describe! It smelt as one would imagine unwashed Quidditch uniforms by the truck loads to be. Combine that with some metallic, too ripe smell doused with many of the vomitus scented potions Wormtail always seemed to make in class! He felt tears prickling in his eyes as his stomach did backflips at sonic speed.

Orihime watched concerned as Remus' body quivered and his stomach contorted. The previously happy boy had become what one'd expect a quarantine victim to look like. Pale, shivering, perspiring and tears welled up in their eyes.

"Go open a window, James-kun!" Orihime hollered as she took Sir Trashy the 3rd esquire to the sickly boy, who took it with much gusto.

"Ah…sure." James said wearily as he dashed over and opened the window and looked out, which was a big no-no. James became like stone as his eyes took in the horror that once was the beloved Quidditch field. A scream reverberated in his ears endlessly at a deafening volume. James was so absorbed by the sight he didn't hear Remus' wrenching nor did he realize the screams of horror in his ears were actually his.

Orihime couldn't really comprehend what's transpired in the past 5 minutes, but the whole playful atmosphere had died and collapsed upon itself. Orihime kept petting and rubbing Remus' back as he heaved again, which sounded excruciatingly painful as James kept screaming in the background!

"I'll be right back, kay?" when all Orihime received from the haggard teen was a groan she rushed to see the commotion as Sirius had taken to consul the hysterically James during his screaming fit.

"James-kun! What's wrong!?" said boy seemed too horrified to answer and didn't even have to finish raising a quivering finger outside before she knew exactly what was going on. She'd never been able to wipe such a ghastly cry from her memory. The busty redhead wrenched the two distraught boys from the window before slamming it shut, her clammy palms leaving a print upon the glasses.

Sometime elapsed before she'd got the nerve to face the two, only to be bombarded with questions the very next second she did.

"WhatsgoingonWhatarethoseRemusareyouokaythebloodyhellwasthatarewegoingtodiewhatshappeningsavebloodmonstersMerlinSHITESHITESHITE" the voices of the two boys morphing together into a conglomerate mess.

"CALM DOWN!"

Orihime screeched leaving the two black-haired boys with their mouths slack-jawed hanging open and a dry heave from Remus.

James was the first to recover taking time to transfiguring himself a glass of water for his scraggly throat before asking, "Are those…?" he squeaked out the open-ended question unable to put what he saw into words.

Orihime nodded solemnly before barricading the windows, knowing if anything it would alleviate the boy's' fears a little. Silence ensued with the only sounds being the screech of wood sliding on wood, the thunk of books hitting the floor rung throughout the room. Orihime felt sweat drip down her forehead, desperately trying to think of someway to console the three boys. The clock's ticking seemed ungodly loud in the tension filled library. James sat by Remus rubbing his back in an attempt to help him through his retching, nothing left to come up besides stomach acid. Sirius sat on the ground twiddling his thumbs, trying to think of anything that could lighten the mood. "Hey, isn't Ichigo out there?" sirius already knowing the answer ,but hoped to wring the others in.

"What are you talking about? Of course they are. In fact all...three...are out...there. OH MERLIN! Those guys are out there with the other kids!" James said enthusiastically as he realized the weight the sentence carried.

"Yeah! Hell, those guys wield those sweet arse swords, which we saw weren't for show!" Sirius said wielding his wand like a sword. "I mean those guys are well pardon my french but, they're monsters! Plus! You kept going on about Ulquiorra and what happened at the bookstore! He'd rather die than fail Dumbledore. Right, Prongs? Moony?"

"I-I...guess I-Ichig-go did practically demolished the room with his Tenshow Getsthingys." Remus said slowly, gaining confidence in his stomach finally being done vomiting.

"Moony's right! Didn't those guys have those sick monster forms? That Bat thing Ulquiorra had looked like it could annihilate those things!" James joined in, feeding upon Sirius' confidence inducing aura.

"Yep! And those thre-four have never let me down before, they've always swooped in...every time…like…knights and…I'm the…damsel…" Orihime's statement turned question was ignored by the boys as they reassured themselves.

 _They do always save me...have I ever really done anything? I didn't destroy Aizen's plans...I was useless in Rukia's rescue. Heck, I've never really did or have much impact on the battlefield...Urahara was right, I'm not destine to be a fighter all I do is play nurse._

"Wait Prongs! Let's check for the others with the map!" an excited Sirius exclaimed as he rifled through his robes.

"Dude! You're a bloody genius!" the two boys continued to shift through the map making comment and basically ripping the paper physically from each other's hands.

"Oh, thank Merlin, he's moving that's indicating has still alive, right?! Right!?" Sirius said semi-franticly.

"*Sniff**Sniff* what's that's acidic smell?" Remus said as a new scent filled his nose, so powerful it actually overpowered the smell of blood (a smell he was sadly getting used to.)

"Yeah! Yeah…there she is! Lily's fine and…next to Snivellus." James said with a hint of hatred in the undertone of his voice.

"You guys smell that right?" Remus said as he sniffed the air to and fro trying to find the source of the scent.

"Lucius's is still there...and whoa! Look William Haggersmith? I thought he graduated."

"Guys, the scent is getting stronger! It's basically burning my nostrils!" Remus said in disbelief of his friends' negligence.

"What are you- "James never finished his sentence as Remus ripped the map from both his and Sirius' hands, rapidly switching back to Hogwarts' interior blueprints.

" Hey! What's your…wait…who the bloody hell is that?" James said pointing to something on the map.

"That's not any girl at Hogwarts cause trust me, I would know." Sirius shrunk a little upon receiving the stony glare of his two best friends.

Quicker than one could snap one's fingers something shot out from beneath the floorboards, like a piston revving up a motorcycle, smackdab through the center of the three's seating circle.

 ***Sizzle* *Sizzle***

The sound filled all 4 occupants' ears, snapping the boys out of their shocked stupors and Orihime from her pity party. To say all 4 were surprised is an understatement which only skyrocketed with the dissolval of the surrounding wood!

"What was tha-AAAAHHH!" James' question evolved into a scream as the unknown object broke through the floor in several other areas, all too close for comfort. All four occupants scattered to and fro at random as the object kept appearing out of the floor rapidly leaving all with the feeling of being trapped in a demonic game of whack-a-mole.

"Quickly, we need to get higher ground!" James said as he pushed Orihime to one of the many bookcases only to follow her close behind.

"Padfoot! Prongs! Orihime! Are you okay!?" Remus called from the 20-foot roller ladder, his body's trembles rattling the whole structure back and forth.

"Yeah, Moony!" Sirius said from his perch upon the canopy of an obviously recently enlarged potted sprout around the botany section.

"We're fine!" Prongs said as he pulled himself upon one of the astronomy bookcases, right beside a rumpled and extremely disheveled Orihime.

"Okay. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT!?" Sirius screamed at no one in particular.

"I don't know! At first, I thought it was a digazario, but it's way too fast!" Remus said as he searched his mind for whatever the mysterious creature/weapon/spell could be.

"Screw finding out what it is! I want to know whether it's still out there or not!" Sirius screamed.

"I don't know, but we can rule out it using its hearing to hunt us down as your screaming would've screwed us all!" James said a little more forcefully than he'd wished or intended.

"Screw you!" Sirius retorted

"Screw you!" James said in response, too agitated to think up a witty retort.

"Wait!" Remus said, cutting the row between each the two. "the hissing sound is back... but where?"

 **Sssss! Ssssss! Ssssss!**

The four quickly found out the origin of the ominous sizzle was: it was the sound of the very structures they stood upon melting!

 **CRASH!**

All four fell into the hole-riddled library floor in an awkward position.

"Guys, where are you! Guys!" Orihime called out as the pebble/sawdust storm created by so many areas dissolving at once affected her vision. so much so, she missed the weapon heading straight for her head!

"WATCH OUT!" the quick footed James called out as he tackled Orihime to the ground, saving her from a permanently dissolved head/face. James quickly recovered as he saw the thing swerve clumsily, heading again straight for him and Orihime. He broke off into a sprint (the fastest in his life) tugging the fairy wielder behind him. He braved a look backward and much to his dismay, the thing was following their every step!

Orihime looked back to see the thing dive in and out of the floor like some demonic dolphin. However, stranger still, the thing looked familiar almost as if she'd seen it before.

"Prongs! Veer left and go up the Potion section and stick to the rightmost side, hugging the books!" Sirius screamed as he stopped abruptly, forced to tiptoe skillfully upon whatever remained of the library floor.

The two huffed and puffed, Orihime experiencing whiplash as they jerked left and right, as well as ducking the dripping monstrosity following them like a stalker.

"HERE THEY COME MOONY! RIGHT…NOW!

" **Confringo!"**

Down went the massive shelving of potion books, scrolls and parchment went flying like birds. A ginormous, deafening thud resounded throughout the unpopulated library as it crushed whatever was hunting Orihime.

Along silence followed as the four took a much-needed break James literally flopping down to the ground, his breath coming out in uneven gasps.

"Well! Guess I'll be quadruple banned from the library!" Sirius said wiping sweat from his brow, trying to break the semi-stifling atmosphere between the four exhausted teens.

"A- "Sirius shut up instantly as the thing propelled through the fallen bookcase, right between his legs, just barely missing his willy.

"That's it! We're out of here!" James exclaimed as he pointed his wand at the ground and with a quick " **Confringo** " all four kids fell through the library floor. Falling straight onto the third floor corridor, as the 2nd collapsed as soon as their weight was placed upon its shaky structure within seconds.

"OWWW!" James said rubbing his back as he dusted rubble off his aching and bruised body.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with th- "Sirius stopped mid-sentence immediately upon seeing the condition the beloved castle was.

Everything was in shambles. The beautiful walls of stone were either cracked, chipped or missing in chunks! The magnificent ancient tapestries dirtied by grime; his favorite, now threadbare and ratty looking.

It only got worse as the four proceeded through the halls carefully, the destruction seeming to escalate exponentially. Every portrait beings was missing; with their departure left the decorative frames looking dejected and haunted.

Sadly, a multitude of said painting's backgrounds were ruined with the backgrounds either scorched, crumpled or ripped! The rooms were just as terrible if not worst. Some corridors and classrooms had collapsed upon themselves! Furniture and precious artifacts were destroyed! Floors were either riddled with holes or missing! It was as if a slew of earthquakes and several rampaging elephants had been released upon Hogwarts.

The three boys moved like dementors: quiet and slow with a sorrowful aura around each wizard, as they looked at their "home's" wreckage. Orihime felt tears prickle in her eyes, but couldn't let them fall as it was them who'd caused all this.

..&..

Her heart clenched as she heard a quiet and pitiful "why" come from Remus' mouth as James he peeked around a corner.

"SHITE! This secret passage' collapsed as well!" James screamed frustrated as he rustled his already unruly hair.

"James! Watch out!" Remus screamed as James turned fast enough to see the bleach white blur heading for him, too fast to possibly dodge.

 **Santen Kesshun**!

James fell upon his butt as a loud ding resounded around him and a strange heat overcome him.

It was an orange dome and had encompassed all four of them.

"Wha?"

 **BANG**!

James glanced back to see the thing that resembled a gigantic centipede body whack itself against the dome, only for it to be ineffective.

"I'm alive?! Oh, thank Merlin!" James clasped his chest, still feeling as if he was a hare's breath away from cardiac arrest.

 **Bang! BANG! Bang!**

The banging only amped up as whomever was behind the attack got frustrated.

 _I can't keep this up…we're going to have to leave!_

Orihime looked back to see a sight that rendered her speechless. The boys she'd come to know were dead; not their bodies but that sparkle they had before. A fear only a rabbit surrounded by a nest of wolves could replicate shown in their eyes.

It was heartbreaking for Orihime to see what she'd inadvertently caused to happen to the three best friends. The little amount of rest allowing her to see the true extent of what could only be their doing. James' clothes were torn and dirtied with debris and sweat. The poor teen's once pristine glasses now cracked and one lens missing. They now hung limply upon his heavily perspiring face.

The savvy playboy Sirius now fit the depiction of a ratty boxcar tranny. The fact he was missing one shoe didn't help, neither did the big rips and spills upon his uniform. His black locks caked in so much dust, it'd seemed to turn gray.

Remus didn't look much like a wanderer, more like a crackhead finally hit rock bottom. His skin pale and sweaty which further stressed his bulging eyes and split lips.

The worst part being their eyes; all six of them being cherry red and puffy.

 _This isn't right…this isn't their fight…it's mine…she's mine._ With a face vacant of everything but determination Orihime made a break for it, adamant on being the protector for once in her life.

"Orihime! Where are you going!" Sirius hollered as the others were still in a confused stupor. Watching as their terrorizer sped after Orihime instantly.

"Get to a safe place and leave this to me!" the gi-woman yelled back, her flame orange hair aflutter as she ran fearlessly to what could be her death.

* * *

"Huff huff! Huff! Hup!" Orihime jumped over yet another fallen pillar and other building debris as the whole castle shook again like some routine. Her frustration rose even further as she'd yet to find Loly.

 _She's playing with me I'm sure._

"Loly! Loly! Where are you?" She screamed as she slid down the railing of a staircase and darted around the corner quickly as the whole area seem to disintegrate around her,

"Come out here!" she commanded, loud enough a person two flights down would've heard every word perfectly.

" **Well. Well. If it isn't Aizen-sama's favorite plaything.** " a voice dripping with hatred responded hrom out of nowhere.

Orihime turned around to see the pigtailed fury that tormented her during captivity. The one-eyed concubine who'd beat her without reason. The jealous, insecure hollow who she'd brought back from death (again). She stood face to face with Loly, everything from her clothing to her voice was identical to the first time she'd seen her. As if the beating given by the 10th espada and Ishida's intervention never happened.

"Loly, why're you here?" Orihime said calmly, not going to be goaded by the degrading remark of Loly's.

" **Why else? We've yet to finish the...interaction we had last time, you know? The one that lardass, Yammy, interrupted?"**

"Loly. I don't want fight you."

" **typic** -" But, I will if that's the only way for you to leave this dimension and its people in peace, so be it." Orihime finished, successfully cutting Loly off.

" **You? Stop me?! I knew you were a dumb bitch, but this is just ridiculous!"** Loly threw her head back, releasing a bellowing cackle.

Loly sonidoed just in time to dodge **Koten Zanshun,** disappearing from Orihime's vision completely.

Orihime closed her eyes and took deep breaths, her chest rising and falling steadily, as she remembered all the work she and Rukia did.

 _Where are you...THERE!_ Orihime ducked the spine-cracking jab Loly attempted with her surprise attack. The redhead quickly grabbed the arrancar's arm, bodily tossing her a good distance forward before sending out a second **Koten Zanshun** at the downed floozy.

" **Grrr! Lucky shot Pet,"** Loly arrogantly replied before sending a cero toward Orihime and her blasted Shun Shun Rikka, adamant in reducing both of them to ash.

Fortunately, both evade the pink cero, Tsubaki twirling around the beam heading straight for Loly's one remaining eye. With a quick fake to the right she dodges spending the rest of her "life" completely blind...only to be decked by a strong right from Orihime. With one skillful handspring/leg sweep, Loly was back to her feet firing a multitude of balas at our heroine with much ferocity.

" **Die!Die!Die,"** Loly screamed frantically, losing her mind as well as her temper. Orihime leapt back from said kick and did several barrel rolls as a barrage of balas hurtled towards her. Orihime soon started to feel fatigue, as her body wasn't accustomed to such strenuous exercise.

 _I need to think of something and something quick!_ Orihime's eyes scoured the wide area, roving so fast they had to be on a swivel.

With the speed of a Kenyan at the Olympics (not racist) Orihime barely skid underneath one of the many fallen pillars fast enough for protection. The thick, stone pillar rattled violently as each blast connected.

" **Oh no, you don't!"** Loly slammed her foot down on the already fragile floor, not going to allow our orange haired heroine any splintered along the floor till it collapsed right beneath Orihime. Orihime couldn't even cuss fast enough before she plummeted downward.

" **Santen Kesshun!** " Orihime wiped her forehead as she just avoided becoming splatter upon the Hogwarts floor.

" **Got you!"** Orihime whipped her head to the left, barely catching a glimpse of the pigtailed arrancar before an iron fist slammed into her ribcage. Knocking her clear from her glowing, orange platform as well as bruising her ribs greatly!

 **CRASH!**

 _That'll teach her,_ Loly thought as she smugly strutted to where the redhead had been flung, a skip quickly entering her step as she saw Orihime had actually been flung through several walls.

 _Shoot, I was just having fun!_ Loly put an obviously fake look of disappointment before skipping towards wherever her opponent lay. However, her smile quickly disappeared as she saw the blasted orange dome encompassing Orihime. The blasted thing absorbing most of the damage.

" **FINE! cling to that pitiful mess you call a life, COCKROACH! I'll just enjoy ending your life even more!"** Loly said as a bright, arrow-like thing darted past her face, her face warm from the fairy bullet just grazing her left cheek.

" **What TH-YOU MISSED!"** the arrancar said with her arms outstretched from her side as she stood aloof in the air.

"Did I?" Orihime said confidently as she pointed upward.

Loly's head whipped upward as she some dust and pebbles hit the top of her head. " **Wha-?!"** The hollow exclaimed as the ceiling began to collapse, Tsubaki's attack disrupting the already brittle structure for the last time. Three whole floors, like London's Bridge, came tumbling down.

As the rubble cleared and the mini dust storm settled she saw Loly had disappeared; in her place a mound of broken furniture, large sections of ceiling and a lot of miscellaneous from the floors that'd collapsed.

"I...did it. I beat her...I BEAT HER!" Orihime jumped about excitedly before clutching her ribs, which were busy throbbing in pain. She wipe the sweat from her forehead her fairs left her prized pins

"Yes. Yes, you did." Shonou said as Lily high-fived the elated teen.

"Did you have any doubt!?" Tsubaki said gruffly, yet secretly proud of his ditz of a wielder.

"Okay! Let's go find Remus, James, and Sirius-kun!" Orihime pumped her fists in the air, a determined more serious look upon her face.

" **WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, BITCH?!"**

A voice oozing contempt croaked out causing Orihime to stop mid stride. Her heart sunk a little as she saw the massive pile gyrating furiously after being so still.

"I knew that'd been too easy." Orihime said to Baigon before getting into her battle stance once again. Her fear level couldn't help, but rise as the mass of debris started dissolving at a terrifying rate. A little reminder of the true threat Loly posed as an opponent.

" **Any last words, Pet-sama?"** Loly said as she stood tall, a little worse for wear, in her Resurrección.

"That's Princessa Gryfinclaw to you."

* * *

"*BLEECH!*!" Sirius exclaimed as he drank yet another potion from the infirmary's cabinet, relieved to get feeling back in his arm and the throbbing migraine to disappear.

"Couldn't that sadist, Ms. Pomfrey, make a potion that doesn't taste as bad as Lucius's quidditch skills?!" the Grim animagus said jokingly, a comical look upon his face as he scrunched his face even more.

The dower mood remained as heavy as it originally was, if not worse at the mention of the blond.

"Heh Heh...tough crowd…" Sirius said yanking upon his collar, "Almost as dead as…"

"SIRIUS! Now is the worst possible time to mention death!" James screamed from his hunched over position on one of the many medical cots, "Can't you be serious for one second of your bloody life?! READ THE BLOODY ROOM! Merlin! That'll be the **death of you** one day!" James didn't look at Sirius once during his harsh chastisement, opting instead to stare at his trembling hands clutching his pants.

He was ashamed. He was embarrassed. He felt like the world's biggest hypocrite.

"James...stop yelling it's not helping nor will fighting each other add anything remotely beneficial to the situation. I -I... I know what you're feeling...I also f-" No, you don't." James interjected, cutting off Remus' attempt in a comforting speech.

"You haven't got a bloody clue so don't be takin the piss." the unruly-haired teen said in a scathing tone, not willing to have his current tsunami of emotions be placated.

He gripped his permanent bed head hair harshly as the castle had yet another cave in somewhere. It being so loud the boys all heard, covering the screeches of the painting dwellers within the room.

"I'm scared...I'm so scared."

"Prongs that's f- "So I'm sitting around on my hands, drinking potions and casting spells on knick and scraps WHEN A BIRD is out there with... **some** monstrosity! "he flung his glass to the ground as he hunched over even further on himself.

"I...I mean what're we supposed to say? Oh! Thanks for risking life and limb to save our friends and family members! What? Oh, see that broken, bloody mess of mush...yep! That's her! Oh, we don't know, we were too busy waiting for someone to kiss are boo boos to help her," James said in an overly jolly tongue before flinging his hands, palms up, towards Remus and Sirius

"...Pro-no, James. you said I don't understand but I do. I've lived with that conversation echoing within my ears every day since age 4, when I got bitten."

Sirius looked at Remus' back as the teen wolf walked to pick up James's smashed glasses.

"it's only gotten worse...louder...more grating as I grew up...with every full moon…" he grabbed the busted frames, "Every cycle it's gotten louder...raspier...piercing..." still avoiding any and all eye contact Remus gently placed the dented glasses on James' lap.

"James, I've been terrified I might one day accidentally bite or scratch another person and thought I'd be doomed to spend my time alone. That is until I meet two idiots upon a train...two that despite discovering my "ailments" stuck with me." Remus quickly whispered "Oculus Reparo" upon the battered frames.

"James. You're not a coward. It's okay to be scared, anyone who says they aren't in this situation is lying through their teeth." Remus said with such sincerity, even the coldest heart would've melted.

"James, no matter what you decide upon...you'll always be the bravest bastard I've have and will know." Sirius said patting James upon the back, before tying his hair up as he made his way towards the doors.

"Where are you going?!" James and Remus said in unison.

"Me? I know it's not the smartest decision and may very well be my last, but...I believe in Dumbledore." the Black heir said, without an ounce of fear, his back towards the other marauders, facing the war zone that was outside. He glanced back over his shoulder and with a face that screamed, "The time for games was over."

"For the greater good, mate."

With that he stepped out, the door quietly shutting after the teen.

"Sirius...what is h- James?" Remus said upon seeing his other rowdy amigo's whole person shaking, his gaze still upon the floor. "James?" worry instantly flooded his whole person

"He...heh…*Sniff*...who does that gormless plonker think he is? Thinking he's some muggle in action mavie?" James murmured before aggressively grabbing his wand and bolting towards the door, hot on his BFF's tail.

"PADFOOT! NO ONE SHOWS UP JAMES BLOODY POTTER!"

"...*sigh* Merlin...they're the reason I'm graying so quickly." Remus said to no one in particular before grabbing the Marauders' Map and jogging off after the two young animagus. A small, but noticeable smile upon his scarred face.

* * *

Orihime quickly ripped her sizzling tights' leg off as it began to disintegrate, a common thread within the grueling battle that looked far from over.

 _Dammit! This keeps up and I'll be butt naked!_

Poor Inoue was a wreck. Her clothes were caked in dirt, dust and even bark from all the rooms the battle has poured into. Whatever wasn't caked in grime was frayed, torn or missing as it either got hit with Loly's acid or caught upon something. Add in the scrapes, bruises and aches and you've got the gist of it. Her frown deepened as she saw that Loly didn't seem to have been damaged at all! Almost like she'd been wearing a forcefield the whole span of the battle.

The tides of battle had changed and she found herself constantly on defense. Her focus being primarily directed towards avoiding any stray acid droplets/ puddles and not twisting her ankle with the constant hazardous leaps and swerves she'd been doing with no reprieve.

"Come on! She's gotta have some kind of weakness!" Orihime whispered to herself as she dashed into Hogwarts' Charms classroom, the worst possible location giving the much-needed space for the cumbersome brawl.

Orihime quickly looked for an exit, but sadly there were none. She was screwed.

" **Orihime come out to play…"** Loly said in an overly sweet tone that echoed off the vacant classroom's walls

Loly was toying with her like a cat plays with a cornered mouse.

Orihime darted underneath one of the desks, trying to smother her **Reiatsu** into oblivion.

 _What do I do!? She's invincible!? Why'd I ever think I could do this!? I'm a healer not a fighter! I'm useless and I'm going to die without saving anyone! I'll just wait here...Yeah! That's what'll do...I'll wait for Kurosaki-kun! Kurosa-_ _ **Trash.**_

A monotone voice interrupted Orihime's frantic rant she'd been having within her mind.

 _Ulquiorra? Is...is that you? H-how're you in my m-_ _ **Cease your childish rambling, it's unbecoming of you and the value Master Aizen's placed upon your abilities. Invincible? If that pitiful excuse of an arrancat was invincible she'd be one of Aizen's hand chosen Espadies. Now, if you're done behaving like some child waiting for someone to come hold their hand, reevaluate your situation and opponent, Lily. Every opponent has a weakness.**_

 _Weakness...what weakness?! she's got speed, range, strength and something that'll melt me! The only thing I've got as a possible disadvantage is her terrible temper,_ Orihime's eyes widened, Wait ... _that's it! Her weakn-_ " **Hi, Pet-sama."**

Orihime wasn't even able to shriek in terror before Loly's hand was clasped around her neck with an iron grip.

" **So, glad I was able to find you! Don't you know how dangerous this castle is,"** Loly mockingly said, " **Who knows the kind of monsters you'll encounter."**

Orihime's vision began to get hazy as her face began to turn blue, her nails clawing viciously at Loly's hand. She could feel the tears steadily slipping down her face as her lungs burned like a furnace.

" **Ohno! Don't cry, you're so ugly when you cry!"** Loly cruelly smiled before slamming Orihime's limp body down, spine first, upon the very desk she'd been hiding under.

A sickening crack echoed through the empty classroom as the desk was demolished as Orihime was slammed spine first upon the desk's top; it not standing a chance. Loly's choke slam was so powerful a crack traveled from the desk's rubble, across the floor and up the wall. Not helping the castle's infrastructure in the least.

Our heroine was hit with blinding pain, causing her poor body to be unable to twitch a finger. All she could do is watch/hear the castle's interior crumple. She store in unblinking horror as deep cracks traveled up the ceiling directly above her, tiny pebbles falling onto her face as the upper floor seemed to be shift closer. That was the straw to break the donkey's back; the floor above was slowly collapsing!

Loly simply sidestepped as she watched the Seireitei-loving bitch whimper in fear as the giant section of rock slid down millimeter by millimeter. The thing easily encompassed Orihime's body twelve times over, summarizing to: there's no way in Hell you're surviving this, Hime.

As the mythical school shook for the umpteenth time a large chunk of ceiling plummeted towards her! Orihime heard the clopping of hooves from far away.

 _Is that how the soul Society picks up souls in another dimension?_ Orihime thought as she closed her eyes and hoped the pain would be fleeting.

* * *

"Faster Prongs! Orihime's icon hasn't moved in a while!" Remus said clutching the scruff of James's neck.

"You sure this'll work? I mean...I don't want to doubt you…huff...but, whatever was chasing us had our arses beat." James said as he kicked his fluffy butt into high gear, his hooves seeming to not touch the ground, an indication of how fast he was booking it.

"Dumbledore...pant... had to have a plan...pant...he's like...all knowing" Sirius said as his long, pink tongue lolling out as he panted.

James wanted to criticize such reasoning for putting their lives in mortal peril, but he just couldn't...almost like it was rendered impossible mentally. It just felt...correct or something.

"James stop!" Remus whispered harshly while yanking upon his antlers, successfully wrenching him from his thoughts.

There they were; Orihime and Loly. Loly looked exactly the same with the exception being the smudges of blood, dirt and rips littering her clothing. Orihime, however, looked like one of those women in horror movies who'd succeeded in escaping her imprisonment and kidnapper! The bubbly school girl was almost unrecognizable with her torn, dirty, poor excuse barely passing as clothing. Now sporting extremely, messy hair, and a bruised and battered body.

All three boys held their wands at ready, and got into position. They only had one shot at this! Remus and Sirius both quiet as mice slunk towards the door, each positioned at one side of the Charms classroom entrance. James nodded his head at them from across the hall.

" **Ohno! Don't cry, you're so ugly when you cry!"**

 **CRACK!**

The three boys couldn't help, but flinch at the painful sound that'd come from Orihime's spine hitting the desk.

"Ready?" James whispered to the others to which he received two jerky nods.

"5…."

"4…"

"3…"

"2…"

"1...!"

"Carpe Retractum!"

"Confringo!"

"Confringo!"

* * *

Orihime clenched her eyes closed even tighter as she felt what had to be her soul being whisked away. Her ear yet to stop ringing from the pain.

 _Any second now...I'll be in Soul Society with Matsumoto and Hitsugaya..._

Orihime could hear the clopping sound perfectly now, like it was right next to her ears and the slightly clammy grip of something grasping her arms.

 _This is...okay...at least I'll be able to see the captains and maybe do what Rukia's been assigned to do…...why's this taking so long?_

Orihime thought as the clopping sound seemed to be a tad too long and the hands (?) had yet leave her arms.

"...me...hime...Orihime! Oh Merlin! she's dead!"

She heard through the dark before feeling herself being shaken roughly, causing her to finally see what was hindering her "passing on".

She was greeted to the faces of two infamous Gryffindor and a deer that looked like it was wearing spectacles.

"Orihime! we're so glad we found you," a nervous Remus said in elation before he promptly shouted, "Turn left, Prongs!"

"Remus-kun…Sirius-kun? What're...why're...huh?" the baffled and barely conscious girl managed to say in a scarily raspy voice, one akin to that of a heavy smoker. She choked back the vomit that threatened being released as the deer leapt from one hazardous structure to another.

"We couldn't live with ourselves if you'd gotten hurt or worse while we lay about crying over spilled -SHARP RIGHT! Buttermilk we're going to defeat the Dark Lord! What's this Loly person going to do, right Prongs?" Sirius said petting James's furry head, said buck looked back and gave a nod in agreement.

"Orihime you just sit back and we'll be out of here sooner than you know it!" James said as confidently as possible.

"but...she...Lo...you can't…" Orihime struggled to get out.

"Orihime. We know what's the chances of us winning may seem slim to none. But, you've never seen what a wizard, let alone three, can do." Remus said with a stony expression adorning his face before facing forward.

The four of them flew down the corridors trying to utilize every second of Loly's paralysis.

Loly finally felt feeling return to her body as whatever those boys had flung at her wore off. Alongside that was her patience.

" **Sooooo…. those three bathrobe wearing** **pieces of trash want to play** **hero?"** Loly cracked her knuckles the smile now gone completely as she once again drew her sword, " **I'll have to teach** **them a lesson...slowly**."

* * *

"Take a left and... then head for the Ruins classroom" Remus, the designated navigator, murmured.

The four had made less progress than they had originally estimated with the numerous detours and dead ends they'd encountered along their way.

Everything from collapsed staircases to questionable and probably toxic spills and leaks. It'd be better labeled the cruelest labyrinth known to mages with how every delay seemed to shorten their lives.

Sirius plundered down, a let out a sigh. It was beginning to seem as if it was physically impossible to find an exit.

 _Why the hell isn't anything working, I swear I've seen that fucking tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy three or four times!_ Sirius thought as Remus' 90th attempt at any ( **directional?)** magic failed _._

" **Well, if this isn't the saddest parade ever."**

Eight set of eyes whipped towards the side corridor to their left.

"Did you hear that?" Sirius said his ear drooping and his tail hiding between his legs.

The other marauders only nodded, both not trusting their voices.

"that's what I feared." Sirius murmured sheepishly.

The crunch of pebbles being stepped upon came from the dark depths of the hallway.

James went to take a step back, but was halted by a dainty milk-white hand. James winced as his muzzle was caught in a jaw crushing grip.

Said hand's vice grip yanked his head down, so fast he thought he'd felt his brain hit the back of his skull, till he was forced to stare dead into crazed rose quartz eyes… (or should I say eye?)

The hand trying to dislocate his jaw belong to a scantily clad girl with black ponytails. sporting a cute grin upon her face as she shamelessly swung her hips, not afraid nor ashamed to show off her creamy pearl-white skin.

The girl could've been beautiful, emphasis on could've, if it wasn't for the crazy b**** vibe radiating from her very pores at dangerous levels!

James's eyes watered as the pain increased with the hand beginning to crush his snout as she continued tightening her iron grasp. his hooves scraping the ancient, stones floors attempting to free himself, wrenching his body to and fro like a wild mustang stuck in a bear trap.

" **Ah...Does that hurt?"** the skimpily dressed girl said in some strange language with her sweet smile turning chaotic. the Vixen turned harpy.

James could feel the bones in his face moving, tears now pouring down his face like a babbling brook, before he heard Orihime scream hoarsely, " **Santen Kesshun** " and her hairpins shot from their floral design, forming an orange triangle!

James thanked Merlin, as the crazy bird's hand shoot back, releasing his sore jaw.

" **Still conscience, huh?"** Loly said shaking her smoking hand.

James and Sirius quickly reverted back, joining Remus in pointing their wands at Loly.

" **Oh! So that's how you filthy three attacked me...interesting. Well,** Loly held her hands out in front of her, turning toward each boy, **aren't you going to make a move?"**

"L-l-listen, we don't know why you're fighting Orihime BUT, you won! So…" Remus' train of thought died as Loly's dagger-like stare bore into his eyes.

"AND! We're so so sorry for attacking you!" Sirius threw in another attempt to placate the pigtailed fury.

" **Y'all are sooooo cute! How about we pl** ay a little game?" Loly said sweetly, clapping her hands with glee.

All three boys knew this was anything but, innocent and sadly they were going to play whether they wanted to or not.

"*Gulp* W-what's the game?" Sirius said, being the first of the three to function what Loly had said.

" **Onigokko** with a…twist." Loly said with her smile getting even more fiendish looking.

The Marauders sent each other a confused and worried glance at each other before nodding.

As soon as James had said, "Okay" Loly was gone, like she apparated.

GAHHH!

Four eyes glanced to the right, to see Remus' arm now bleeding, his sleeve fluttering to the ground.

"Diffindo!" James screamed as he pointed at Loly...or where she was as she disappeared from sight as fast as she'd appeared.

"What!?" What the hell does Onigokko mean!?" Sirius' head whipped to and fro rapidly, hair like a cat-o-nine tails with the velocity.

"It's like British Bulldog, I think" Remus said as he gingerly touched the cut upon his arm.

"THEN WHERE'S THE BLOODY SAFE ZONE?!" our two quidditch players hollered in unison.

"That's the twist." Loly whispered seductively in both boy's ear, both letting out a scream; one of terror the other of pain.

Loly dragged her dagger across James's cheek; not breaking the skin, but still leaving an outline of the blade's path.

Her breath cold like a corpse on his neck as the blade poked his Adam's apple, almost playfully. Remus and Sirius stared helplessly, as James stood shakily upon tiptoes, trying not to touch the blade or Loly.

"Run." she pushed James causing him to land flat on his butt in the debris; reducing Potter to a trembling mess. Loly gave one last scarily chummy smile to the four before disappearing.

All James, Remus and Sirius thought to do was pray. Pray the Soul Reapers find them before hollowification.

* * *

I hear Prongs release a breathy "shite" before falling to the stone floors, clutching his leg. Blood seeping from underneath his hands at the deep slash.

This pattern had been going on for the past half hour: Run, slash, gasp, hide, stab, whimper, and repeat. That is if Loly wasn't feeling up to tormenting us with sick little games.

Sometimes popping out of nowhere and poking our cheeks or ruffling our hair like some big sister.

Nothing worked! Invisibility spells, detection spells, diversion spells, silencing spells, and yet they'd made no progress, but tire themselves out.

Sirius look over to see Remus, sweating profusely, hunched over using the wall for support.

 _That last one must've really done a number on him._

He looked over James hunched over with Orihime slumped against his back, like a bruised, fleshy backpack. The girl sleeping...or knocked out would be a better term.

It didn't take a genius to know the outcome of their situation: they were but dolls to Loly. Worse yet being the toys she'd play with till broken (a.k.a. DEAD)!

They were sitting hippogriffs.

 _And it's all her fault._ Sirius thought to himself as he glared at Orihime, _she's the reason she's here. The reason we're stuck here with whatever Loly is!_

"How...are...*huff* holding up?" Prongs to all three of us, gingerly placing Orihime down on some rubble _._ Not paying a lick of attention to the glare I've directed at her.

 _It's her fault we were in the bloody library in the first place...Hell! Her friends led to our detention!_

"Guys, Orihime's not doing okay...I'm pretty sure it's not healthy for only one eye to be dilated." Remus said with concern, wiping sweat from the redhead's brow.

 _We could be out there...with Lily, Bartholomew, Stephen...or Regulus._ Horrible images of Regulus' body broken and alone staring a hollow dead in the face. Or his soul one of the many in some bastard hollows' tummy. Or worst yet, his baby brother stuck underneath some giant claw yelling for him. For him to save him, like I used to…

"I don't think I can carry her anymore, but she can't stand up steady, let alone run...maybe if we band to-"

" Leave her."

a look of pure shock crosses James's face

"What did y-"" Leave her." I said cutting James off.

* * *

 _Well this just got interesting._

I watch from my perch from the ceiling, stopping mid-attack.

The slut is finally feeling the effect of my assault which is a justified repercussion for angering me.

Glasses has a look of pure disgust upon his face at such a suggestion as if it wasn't logical.

"What did y-"" Leave her." Handsome (for a human anyway) says blankly, his statement wasn't a suggestion; it was a command.

"you're kidding, right? Sirius, I said you're kidding."

"listen...I know what you-"" SIRIUS YOU'RE KIDDING!" Glasses said through gritted teeth taking a step forward.

"James...look at it from my perspective." Handsome says trying to reason.

"NO!" Glasses shaves Handsome, things getting heated.

 _He's like Grimmjow…_

"Leave her? LEAVE HER!? After coming all the way out here to save her! You want to dump her like a bag of Chocolate Frogs!

"Prongs! Don't you get it!? She only wants her! Loly came from her dimension and attacked HER! Maybe...cutting her "loose" may...save us."

"You bastard! YOU BLOODY BASTARD! you want to leave her? So, let's say we "cut her loose" and Loly doesn't stop attacking us! We'll just leave her!"

"James! You can't seriously believe we could outrun Loly or those bloody monsters with...with this deadweight!" Handsome backs away from the four-eyed fury.

Glasses grabs Handsome by his tie, yanking him towards him. _Doesn't want him to escape, smart._

"I don't know why I thought you were different! Once a Black, always a Black. A house of snakes doesn't spit out a lion."

"Well, excuse me for wanting to live! Forget the valor and think practically! We're sunk dragging her around!"

"So, we just leave her defenseless! Leave her for the monsters to take and become a hollow!" Glasses said with one hand grasping Handsome's collar while the other pointed towards Ulquiorra's pet.

"Maybe...we don't."

"What are you talk- you wouldn't dare!"

"It'll be quick...that's what all the papers and text says. It would be the merciful thing to do!"

"You…you'd use the Killing curse on a defenceless !" Glasses says flabbergasted.

I lean forward, descending, getting a little closer. _Killing curse? Aizen's would love to know of this._

"You wouldn't dare?! You...you do that then...then...I'll have to take you out first!"

"What!? James! We've been friends for years and you'd throw that away for some bird who's not from our dimension!?

"I...I would!"

 _Ooooo! A bond of friendship broken!? This is getting interesting. Better get closer…_

"James...d..don't make me have to go through you...cause this is so I can save your arse!"

"I'm not moving nor am I going to let you do this!"

The two good doers (well, one now) aim their sticks at one another. Neither backing down.

 _I need to be closer...I have to get closer_.

I'm unable to contain my interest as their things start to glow an emerald green.

"I'll do James! I'll do it and won't bat an eye! It's for the greater good!"

"I'll do it too, Si-Black! Don't think I won't either!"

Glasses points at Handsome, while Handsome points his stick at Pet-sama, both faintly crackling and a vivid red at the tip.

Out of nowhere I hear "Petrificus totalis!"

And suddenly my body freezes up, render completely immobilized!

"Avada…. KEDAVRA!" I watch, petrified, as the two squabbling, robe wearing, vermin pivot till they're pointing their sticks at me! The green bolts morphing together as it hits me in the chest while one struck my spine.

All goes black with all of this taking mere seconds to occur.

 **BOOOOOOOOM!**

* * *

A giant explosion occurred as Loly's body was struck with the dreaded Killing curse three times at once, causing the boys to duck for cover.

It wasn't till the dust settled did the three boys step closer to the now prone Loly, her damaged and broken body hitting the ground with a wet thump.

"I-I-It actually hit…" Remus said hesitantly, fingers crossed in hope that sentence was a fact.

"We...did it" Sirius said as he chucked a rock at Loly, making triple sure she'd died.

A wave of several emotions passed through the trio, morphing into a tidal wave of apprehension, elation, and disbelief.

"I knew it'd be a success! I mean I totally sold the "bad guy" role!" Sirius said with a flip of his hair and a faulty grin as James pinned him with a blank stare.

"A-a-act!? OH Blimey, Sirius! You totally had me going with that whole thing! I mean...you should become one of those actors Lily's sister raves about!" James said seriously as he checked up on Orihime, his back towards the Black heir.

"It doesn't matter we successfully used an Unforgivable!" Remus said excitability before realizing the magnitude of said sentence.

An entirely new heavy atmosphere fell over the three as they looked upon the fallen Arrancar, truly taking in and processing the severity of their victory.

"W-we just did an Unforgivable…" James said staring at his wand, the wood shaking in his trembling hands.

"W-we k-kil-killed!" Sirius said taken aback, needing the wall to support his quaking legs.

 ***BLEAGH!***

two heads whipped around to see Remus retching quite violently, the gentle werewolf unable to stomach the terrible thought.

"N-no no! We...did what had to be done...and W-we gave her ample time and opportunities to walk away. We...e-even heroes have to do bad things." Sirius said after wiping his sweaty forehead.

"Mourn and lament later. We've got someone relying on us." James said hollowly.

The weary marauders gathered themselves and set out for the exit. All three wizards' bodies and relationship taxed emotionally, physically, and mentally.

Unaware of the several seconds later Loly's finger twitched.

We watched with baited breath as Orihime's fairy repaired one of the lesser damaged secret passages.

Prongs conversated with the blond fairy (or whatever they're called) as the tunnel is finally resembling what it once was: our ticket to freedom.

I just can't bring myself to talk or celebrate instead playing off my exhaustion and hanging back, trying to digest what had gone down with me, James and Orihime.

"Knut for your thoughts?" a familiar voice says from behind.

I glance to my right to see Remus, now aged some ten years from all the peril, confusion, and adrenaline that only now was his being taking in.

"You looked like you needed a more...unbiased being to vent to. Right?" he gives me that knowing look.

"I wasn't acting." I say very Ulquiorra-ish, "I really meant we'd be better off dropping her like "dead weight." I say, looking at the cracked and scuffed floor.

A long silence stretches between us.

 _He's probably thinking how ugly and villainous I am. Just like a true Slytherin. Just like a true Black._

I flinch as a hand pats me upon the back, "You're only trying to get us to safety. Opting to do...semi-immoral...okay, really immoral acts to accomplish such. We all have moments of desperation...fear, and love...where one'd do anything for those they love." I glance up to see Remus' golden eyes staring unjudgingly at me.

"OK! WHO'S NEXT?!" James screams excitingly, reappearing out of the newly repaired tunnel.

"I got Orihime down and for once fortune is turning our way! From what I could hear there are people there and the succulent smell of Beef, Lamb & Guinness Stew!"

Within seconds, a big smile has adorned Remus' and my face, the notion of safety and a meal being enough to cause my eyes to go misty.

James makes an exaggerated bow with his arms gesturing to the tunnel, "Ladies first!" he says in a rather snooty voice.

"Don't mind if I do, my good sir!" I say as I pick up my robes like a dress to curtsy, "Come along Remy, we're late for the ball!" I proclaim in a high pitched feminine voice.

No response comes from Remus. Not a huff, grunt or a tsk.

"You said ladi...ladies firSt?!" A scraggly, voice calls out. It resembled what one would expect someone who dined upon nails and glass to sound with a wet, gargled laugh to accompany it.

James and I turn to see Loly. Or what had been Loly once upon a time. The chic...bitch looked sickly with scrapes and bruises galore upon her knees like she'd been dragging herself. Her dress in tatters with blood decorating it and her boots scorched with one missing.

Her eyes were sunken and glassy with her hair down completely, getting in her face and panting mouth. Her stance was one resembling a baby deer walking for the first time: wobbling, shaky and stooped over.

Her arms dangling to her side with her dagger gripped tightly, blood running down her arm. The hair in her face moving a little with each ragged inhale and exhale of air revealing her greatest change her MASK had been BLOWN OFF!

"L-L-Loly...h-h," I barely manage to stutter.

 **BOOOOOM!**

Within seconds our escape tunnel went up in smoke, some pink beam decimating it.

All three of us stare dumbly at the wreckage. Our devastation leading to Loly flashing a red, toothy smile.

Remus screamed unexpectedly, "AVADA KED-ERK!"

I stare in pure horror as Remus is unable to finish the sentence, now stooped over clutching his stab wound to the gut.

"You DAFT COW! Y-YOU BARMY, CHAV, TROLLOP!" James screamed as he dragged Remus to him, clutching him to his chest and away from the laughing mess Loly had become.

"Hahahahaah...haha...*COUGH* *COUGH* *ERGH* *BLERGH!*"

I brave a glance at Loly to see her hunched over, heaving and vomiting up copious amounts of blood!

 _The bitch isn't indestructible...she's dying...we still have a chance!_

"RUN! RUN LIKE YOUR ARSES ARE ON BLOODY FIRE!" I scream, rousing James from his stupor. We gun it like bats out of hell, only stopping when we'd bolted down seven corridors. Ending up at a dead-end, our backs to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy AGAIN!

"Oh Merlin! The blood it won't stop no matter how hard I press!" James said as he pushed his robe on Remus' gut, who was sweaty and beginning to struggle for breath.

One glance at Remus and I estimate he'll last another 35 minutes...maybe 45 minutes maximum before he's in critical condition (if we're lucky).

 _Prongs is way too exhausted from carrying Orihime...so running is out of the question. Damn it! Dumbledore..._

I peek around the corner to see Loly's silhouette slowly and quite lamely approaching our location. The wheezing louder and her gate getting even more unstable. A pity inducing site if not for the torment she'd put us through.

I hear another wet series of coughs followed by something being spit out, a plop echoed as it hit the floor.

 _Okay we just have to hide..._

The steps get louder…

 _Need to hide! vanish from her radar!…_

The steps getting even more louder, the sound of her dagger dragging along the wall!

 _SOMEWHERE...PLEASE MERLIN! SOMEWHERE WE COULD BLOODY VANISH! DISAPPEAR!_

The footsteps deafening as my eyes look for some hole or obstacle to hide in or behind...only to find a door that hadn't been there before.

I touched it hesitantly as James shoulders Remus, whose putting on the bravest face ever. I send a glance back, he seeming as confused as I.

"Wha? The h-" I stop mid-sentence to see I wasn't paranoid and that nutter was close! So close I could see her limping through the corridor and HEADING STRAIGHT FOR US!

 _Talk about tenacious!_

"Either the bloody unknown or that loony slag!" I say wrenching the door open, placing a rock as a stopper.

 _Don't know what'll do or where it'll go once closed!_

I take Remus from the obviously exhausted James and we made a beeline for the door. The hairs on my neck stand up on ends as I hear a gargled "FOUND YOU!" not far behind.

We use our last burst of energy to leap through the doorframe, into the unknown.

I hear the swipe of a dagger slashing through the air, it way too close for comfort!

With barely a second to spare I kick the stopper free, so hard it breaks the rock into pieces (also bruising my toes)! However, it's worth it as I watch the door close right in that monstrosity's face!

* * *

 _Dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT!_

 _I watch as my_ Zanpakutō misses Handsome's neck. Leaving behind a mass of luscious, black locks instead of the head it's attached to.

I burn the mass in my hand, inadvertently leading to another coughing fit. Like the others, it leads to the gross taste of blood rising up my throat. I spit the mouthful out but, this time a molar falls out with the copious amount of blood.

I sit dejected with the sad revelation of my impending death. Whatever those rat bastards had done had done one hell of a fuckin number upon my body AND SOUL (or souls?)

The feel of something hot slides down the side of my face and I don't have to guess; it's blood.

 _My body's shutting down..._

I glance back angrily before I see the door's actually cracked open! Some pebbles from the rock that must've been there holding it.

I smile whole heartedly and pull the door open to crawl after the three.

* * *

James and Sirius each took one of Remus' arms, each shouldering their wounded comrade.

"We're almost there Remus. Just hang in there" James said, more to reassure himself than Remus.

James finally looked at the room they'd entered to find a room like they'd never knew existed, despite having the infamous Marauder's map.

The room classified as a hoarder's dream with its infinite amount of space and towering ceilings, everywhere were piles and piles of stuff. From the arched ceilings hung millions of various chandeliers, some looking decades old others grand spanking new. The piles consist of a range of things. Some practical like old writing desks, chairs of rotting wood or snapped legs. To the more...erotic like remembralls, fanged frisbee, and other trinkets that'ld make any prankster/troublemaker feel like they were in Honeydukes.

"Is this where all our confiscated things go? I mean... LOOK! Dr Filibuster's Fabulous Wet-Start, No-Heat Fireworks...I didn't even know these things were sold to people under 30!" Sirius said a dazzle in his eyes.

"oh! Look! A Fanged Frisbee, stink bombs and a bloody ton of Exploring Snaps!" James pointed like a child on a sugar rush.

"AHEM! So..me of...*COUGH* us are bleeding to death!?" Remus said weakly, his annoyance quite viable to the two.

"Yeah but soon it'll be all of you!" Loly called from behind giving all three a giant scare

"YOU! OH MERLIN! WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU!?" Sirius screamed as Loly seemed to be "losing her human-form.

"BALA!"

The three weary marauders barely ducked the haphazardly thrown blast, a rain of scorched wood, pieces of candle and glass showered down upon their heads.

"Confringo!" James said pointing towards the hollow.

The castle shook again making all four scatter like mice as a cornucopia of things came plummeting down.

 **CHRASH! BANG! KLANCK!**

The three wizards ducked, pivoted, rebounded, and ran to and fro for what seemed an eternity as balas and ceros launched everywhere.

While one demonic arrancar weaved, sidestepped, shielded, and rolled out of the of a seemingly endless barrage of Avada Kedavra **,** Confringo **,** Diffindo.

Until it had come to stalemate all four occupants nowhere close to ending their trench warfare.

"James! What do we do cause I'm out of all possible ideas!" Sirius said as he clutched Remus even closer, the later slowly turning deathly pale.

"I...I...don't know." James said resting his head upon his knees, body quivering at random intervals.

Sirius looked at his companions and saw the cold hard truth; they were going to die. Remus would bleed out on the floor with no way of stopping his internal wound. and whether it take days or months, he and James were going to die from exhaustion.

All three sat in silence except with the occasional wheeze or cough from Remus.

Sirius couldn't help but think someone up there had it out for him as his nostrils filled with the smell of Beef, Lamb & Guinness Stew.

It smelt so realistic...almost as if it was in the room.

"Guys...do you...smell that" Remus said quietly, voicing Sirius' thoughts.

"Yeah...wait do you also smell Beef, Lamb & Guinness Stew." Sirius said a little interested.

"Yeah...yeah. It's almost like it's coming from...there." Remus said as he shakily pointed to what looked to be a cabinet.

The cabinet was perched on the highest mountain of stuff like the star on top of a Christmas tree. Made completely of Oak and adorned with steel decorations that seemed to gleam in the candlelight.

"Oh...Merlin! "James said in a hushed voice not wanting to warn Loly of anything. "That's a vanishing cabinet!"

"No way...why's that even here?" Sirius said in wonder of the magical furniture.

The thing was quite a far ways away, even if they weren't exhausted and near collapsing and that's excluding the extensive climb towards the magical wooden portal.

"I think I may have an idea...but, how good are you at riding bareback?" Sirius said after a long time, a light in his eyes.

"WhErE ARe yoU!?WhErE ARe yoU!? WhErEAReyoUWhErEAReyoU!?" Loly frantically screamed as she basically foamed at the mouth.

Out the corner of her eye she sees one of the vermin, the glasses wearer, dart by.

A horrifying grin adorns her face as she goes leaping after the boy.

While this was going on slowly but quite inconspicuously a mouse traveled a mountain of books, jars, broken cauldrons and more. In its teeth two wands and upon its back two tiny, tuckered out Marauders.

"Moony? You still alive?" James said as he nudged the clammy, hunched over figure in front of him currently being rocked back and forth by the mouse's movement.

"Uuuugggh…" a weary, groan came from the glower figure. The makeshift bandages already turned red with blood, while his skin was now whiter than any snowy owl.

"...Okay...we're almost home free buddy...just hold on!" James said in an encouraging way before whispering, "Sirius, I hope you know what you're doing."

-flashback-

 _Trust me, I've seen my sister do it a million times on piddly objects and this'll work with a little luck and we've had luck the entire day!" Sirius said trying to placate his skeptical friends._

 _Remus just stared at the one rat James had wasted his last drop of energy upon. He turned to question the obviously delusional pureblood before seeing said boy's wand in James's face._

" _Sir-"_

" _Geminio!"_

 _Remus watched as James's body seemed to be pulled apart like a gummy worm till there was two of him!_

" _Geminio!"_

 _Again, James duplicated into three, before Sirius returned fire upon himself. Remus stared in amazement (with a sprinkle of horror) as there now stood 3 James and Sirius._

" _Okay…*huff* last thing…' Sirius said whipping around and quickly said_

" _Diminuendo!"_

 _Leaving Remus to stare unblinking at the horse sized rat and the now twenty-foot-tall Sirius as he pointed his wand at James._

" _Diminuendo!"_

 _Sirius proceeded to_ _let out a series of barks and growls that the rat seemed to register as it "replied" back._

" _SO! *huff* Prongs, you take Moony and your trusty steed, Squeak biscuit! *" he paused for applause only to receive none, "...anyway...he'll take you there without Loly noticing anything while...these clones of James and I run around this natural maze. Thus! Giving me an opening to sneak around the loon and sneak round the back! hop in! fix the hex! and WE'RE SAFE! Or at least away from that thing." he said as he heard Loly scream in anger/madness._

-flashback end-

"Hold on Moony...we'll be safe soon.

* * *

I quickly sneak a peek through one of the bars of the many broken owl cages, checking if the coast is clear.

 _Okay...so far so good._

I nearly jumped ten feet off the ground upon hearing a gargled, "FoUNd YOu!" followed by one of the clone's yelp before a boom and the splatter of blood.

 ***skritch* *sskritch* *skitch***

The skittering of feet makes me make a mad dash for the closest hiding spot. I hear another squeak, boom and a splat in tow.

I whip my head left and right before spotting a sizeable crawl space made of a deteriorating closet, clusters of old books, and a rusted suit of armor. My animagus form barely able to squeeze in in time.

 ***SKRITCH* *SSKRITCH* *SKITCH***

Loly comes into view and I finally understood why Grimmjow almost snapped my wrist for touching his jawbone thing. She was unrecognizable.

Her heart-shaped face, her flawless cream skin and silky locks were no more. Now, Her hair covered her face like the girl in the muggle's movie, Grudge, only not dripping also running down her elongated neck like a mane or horrid comb over. Her firey, fuschia eyes were vieny pingpong balls that rolled freely in their sockets. Her body now was centipede-like with 12 or more pairs of HUMAN hands of various sizes running along her sides. The hands acting as feet, some of which were broken or rotting; some even bleeding from their nails. Running along her "torso" was a...mouth, that could easily swallow a gryffindor whole. Blood dripped from gaping mouth as she struggled with every breath, her whole body acting as if she'd run twelve marathons.

 _Hold on, she_ _also seemed to be holding something…_

 **SPLAT!**

Down came two of the four clones I'd made of James and I or whatever remained of them that is. James 2.0 was quite difficult to depict what he'd died from. It could either be the large plum purple outline of hands around his neck from strangulation. His eyes rolling in his skull with blood oozing from deep finger sized holes that'd puckered his neck and face. Or the hole that'd been blasted through his chest, eviscerating everything within the circular outline. The damage so significant one could see perfectly through him; like a bloody window.

The other was me...or clone me. The boy was melted like a chocolate frog in the summer sun! His skull visible beneath the silly putty skin. The hair having been ripped out violently by millions of hands. The broad had even clawed at his skull from what I gathered from the deep grooves and marks littering the visible parts of the cranium.

I clamped down on his tongue, my canines slicing it as I barely stop a bark of surprise/horrors from escaping. Unfortunately, in my shock I unknowingly took a step back; a BIG mistake. My hind leg knocked the dresser causing a bell or something to be knocked loose. As the next thing, I know a loud *RIIIINNNNNGGGG* echoed throughout the room.

A deep silence ensued as the bell came to stop after bouncing and ringing four times but, in the current atmosphere felt like a million to me.

The only thing audible was my frightened pants as my ears twitched left and right, my fur on ends.

Next thing I hear is the sound of the very structure I'd hidden under being ripped up, tens (or twelves) of fingers poking around the sides.

I stare in horror as that thing (what else could I call it) towered over me. Both of us just standing staring at each other, her eye burrowing into my soul.

I quickly wagged my tail and arched my back, putting on the best damned playful vibe ever. Leaping back and forth even incorporating a barrel roll for good measures.

It didn't end well...not by a long shot.

 **CRASH!**

A hand, the size of a normal twelve-year-old, slams down next to me. The force in which it comes smashing down is so extreme the hand imbeds itself in the stone! I barely rolled out of the way in time to avoid becoming a fluffy pancake!

I hightail it out of there, cutting down one of the many corridors in the Maze of Junk. adrenaline pumping through my veins like never before.

Left. right. Left. Right. Up. Down. U-turn. Jump. Crawl. 3-point turn. I bolt every direction avoiding Thing's attacks, falling items/piles and the other million hazards littering the "room".

After a while I slow to a trot, having not seen Thing in quite a while.

 _I guess I've lost her...for now._ Fortunately, I'm able to see the cabinet; it's relatively close, _maybe if I'm quiet enough I ca-_

"YIP!"

I let out a squeak of surprise as a sickly pale, malnourished arm shoots through the heap of garbage beside me, grabbing me by my hind leg! The sudden jerk I receive feels like it's dislocated my leg.

 _Bollicks!_

I crane my neck just enough that I'm able to bite the arm currently holding me, the blood and smell making me want to vomit! I continue chewing and gnawing at the appendage but as soon as I finished freeing myself a new one pops out, making my efforts all for naught! This pattern continues for some time before I realize my horrid mistake. So focused on freeing myself I completely missed Loly closing in upon me. Coiling herself around me, literally making a living brick wall!

 _Nononononono!_

I stare in horror as Loly's head appears over me, something dripping down from her mouth. Obviously not appreciating my thrashing two new arms grabbing my remaining legs and snout, anchoring me down. I'm a sitting duck (or dog).

"Nonono! Merlin, Mooney! Padfoot in trouble! We have to help!" James said hopping from one foot to another.

"Hhhhow...o-our wands...are three times our size." Remus slurred out as "their" rat nudged his side persistently.

"um...er….Bollocks!" James said ruffling his hair maniacally, looking back and forth between Remus and Sirius. His breaths coming out rapidly as his muscles flexed as he clenched his fists. He looked down to see Sirius glancing their way, a look of acceptance in his eyes as if he accepted his fate, Glad he died a martyr.

Something snapped within James, not allowing this day to end like this. He didn't get to play Quidditch. He spent 5 hours straights cleaning shit that NO ONE will ever touch. He didn't get the comic he ordered three days ago, like the company said! And now he's going to lose one of his best friends! FUCK NO!

James released a yell before lifting his now oversized wand, and took a running leap leaving a stupefied Remus behind him.

"James!"

 **"Harmonia Nectere Passus!"**

Remus disappeared with a poof as James continued to fall down fingers digging in the grooves of his wand.

That's until he realized what hed exactly done. The adrenaline zapped from his system.

"OOOOOOHHHHHHH SSSSSHHHHIIITTTTEEE!"

James felt his clothes crawling up his stomach as he plummeted something smacking, something foreign and smooth smacking him in his face from his shirt pocket.

James watched supremely confused as a light blue bubble floated out, quickly rising up towards the ceiling and expand till it encompassed the whole room! A dark overcast coming over the room and all the occupants.

Loly looked upward to the rapidly growing bubble and quickly got into a defensive stance, still keeping Sirius in her clutches. All three starred as the thing finally reached the width of the ceiling, what looked like a glowing feather flashing within.

 **Pop.**

.

.

.

Down poured a drizzle of water, not even enough to wet someone's hair came pouring down and petered out within seconds. Leaving behind dew and three in pure confusion.

"THAT'S AL-ERK!?" James scream at the sheer disappointment the thing turned out to be got cut off as some of the drizzle went down his throat, choking him.

Perhaps not a second after uttering that sentence did a massive eruption of fireworks go off. Rockets fired every which way, sparks of all colors were flying everywhere.

James curled into a tiny ball...that is until he felt his body gradually growing back to normal. A look of confusion adorned his face before smacking his lips, a familiar taste upon his tongue. _It tastes like...poti"_

His thoughts blanking out as he face planted upon the floor, barely missing the rockets.

Sirius and Loly weren't as lucky.

Our lovable animagus watch from the crack in Loly's coil as the rockets flew everywhere and blew up with such magnitude and force. The wiz rocket's explosions taking on magnificent forms such as a lion roaring with a breath of multicolored sparks to a fiery, realistic-looking phoenix.

His jaw dropping open in amazement...before he saw the fires the sparks were starting. The ancient tombs, textbooks, and scrolls were perfect kindle for the sparks, the oil spilt from the broken lanterns only exasperating the flames.

 **BOOOOOOM! BAAAANNNG! KABOOOOOOM!**

A gargled screech came from Loly as she was hit in the face by one of the fireworks. Resulting in her loosening the "cage" she'd formed around Sirius.

Without a thought in his mind, Sirius leaped and clawed his way out of Loly's clutches...to land right into the flames (literally).

The whole room morphed into a furnace due to the ferocious fire that had broken out. Fire surrounded Sirius, the soot stung his nose and burned his throat, while the steam stung his eyes. He couldn't even get low to the ground as said surface was heating up exponentially! The floor resembling a stove burner more and more by the second.

Sirius forced his eyes open, gritting his teeth as they watered and stung horribly. In the distance, he saw it; the vanishing cabinet! The magical piece of furniture stood upon the highest stack of flaming, forgotten junk!

Sirius looked at the situation and knew it didn't take a genius to realize how low his rate of success was. He slowly turned around, petrified as he caught a glimpse of Loly whom seemed to be oozing animosity.

 _Fuck it!_ Sirius thought to himself as he took off down a path that seemed most likely to lead towards the cabinet. His strength stemming completely from adrenaline and instinct, as he made what he prayed would be the last run in his whole life.

Glancing back, he saw Loly speeding after him, her legs (or arms) smacking the floor, some bones bending/snapping as several of said limbs failed to keep up with her other millions. He made a quick pivot, taking a less "fiery" path while also manipulating how difficult Loly's new form seemed to have with turning. It's buxom yet lanky, segmented body failing to changing direction once in motion resulting in her slamming into one of the many flaming walls.

"trYThiS!" Loly screamed as she wrenched back before releasing a fire hydrant blast of purple liquid!

 _Fuck!_ Before the grape liquid can swallow him, he felt his body being yanked to the right. Almost as if an invisible rope lassoed him.

Luckily, He avoid the blast as the liquid seemed to be acid! Seeing as the damage left behind a giant hole in the stack he felt his body grasped. Like the paranoid animal he'd been reduced to he snapped at it.

"WOAH! Sirius! CALM DOWN ITS ME! JAMES!" James said as he barely avoided losing some fingers.

 _James?!_ Sirius quickly morphed back into his natural form, embracing his equally battered friend harshly. Digging his fingers into the Seeker's sides, scared he was a hallucination.

"Sirius! You're ERK...hurting me! I...wasnt going to...lea-*HUFF* ve you…" James said patting Sirius with his supremely constricted arms, doing nothing to loosen his best buddy's death grip.

"Oh Merlin James! You won't believe the bloody sequence of events! Loly...she's! I! AHHHH!" Sirius said exasperated before feeling his lungs get a sudden reprieve from the smoke and ash.

His hands shooting up to feel a _

He glanced over to see James with a bubble encompassing his mouth and nose, him shooting him a thumbs-up.

"Sirius, although it kills me and goes against everything within me, i'll fight a woman …*haaah* I'll help you beat Loly!"

"Ummm...about that...You won't have to worry about breaking your primary vow."

"What...what do you mean?"

 **RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRR!**

Sirius and James looked around as the room seemed to shake viciously!

"What the he…" James' words died as he saw the monstrosity climbing over one of the taller piles.

"Don't worry James! With the two of us we'll easily destroy this monster and get out safe. I think we can...NO, I know we can beat her. So draw your wand and...James?" Sirius looked to his right to see noone there. In the background, said wizard was running his ass off.

"Bitch…" Sirius mumbled under his breath before running to catch up with the cowardice Seeker.

 **RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRR!**

"The hell man! THE ACTUAL HELL!" Sirius screamed as he ran beside James, steam almost blowing out his ears.

"Uhhhh to quote Grimmjow, " YOU'VE GOTTA BE SHITTING ME, RIGHT NOW!" she didn't look like that before! What Happened!?" James said as they did a sharp right, the rubber of their shoes being rubbed off.

Neither looked back as they heard Loly's cumbersome body slam into some random stack, the snapping of bones ALMOST smothered by the crackling of fire.

"DIDN'T YOU COME TO HELP ME!?"

"UH YEAH! FIGHT LOLY! NOT...THAT!"

The two continued their game of cat-and-mouse, while the room burned around them, their energy burning out fast and hard. They knew they couldn't continue running...they had to figure out something...anything!

"I can't anymore...I just can't continue." James said as he slumped to the ground in a heap, his body giving into exhaustion.

"James...come on...I.." Sirius plunked down on his ass, slipping after attempting to drag James by his arm.

The two sat in silence as the room crackled around them before James broke out into a hearty laugh.

"James...James...JAMES!" Sirius whispered harshly as he tried to silence his now psychotic BFF.

"heh...heh..I'm sorry..i-it's just heh heh...the two biggest pranksters w-w-would get..HA..pass away with all the things...we'd ever had confiscated from us."

"Yeah…..wait what was that?"

"What was what?" James said tiredly perplexed.

"That thing you just said."

"I can't go on..."

"No, after that."

"Two biggest pranksters?"

"No! No...after that!" Sirius said pinching his brow.

"...OH! We're going to die with all the things we'd ever had confiscated from us...why?"

"Because you've just saved our asses," Sirius slowly pulled himself to his wobbly legs," Let's hope our **luck** hasn't run out."

Sirius raised his wand, his fingers barely clutching the magical stick of wood, "Accio...Fe-"

Loly came to a halt, sensing her prey stop their running and standing still in a wide open area.

She turns to see Sirius standing in front of her, chest puffed out, hands on hip, and a smirk adorning his bruised face. The boy looking like his usual cocky self despite what's transpired in the last hours.

Loly, being too enraged to consider the weirdness of the situation charged at Sirius, whom yet to flinch or attempt to dodge.

 **Glass shattering,**

 **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!**

Loly screeched in pain as she wrenched back, glass shards embedded in her skin from the strangely large mirror she'd rammed aggressively into.

"Hahaha!" a laugh bellowed out from behind her, swiveling her torso around abruptly to see Sirius hunched over laughing. The black-haired rebel pointing at her as he teared up.

Fuming like a chimney, she charged again only for the same results to occur.

Loly angrily roared out before it turned into a wail of pain as several chandeliers fell out of nowhere raining down everywhere. She couldn't even dodge as a storm of candles, glass, and brass rained down haphazardly around the room. Knocking stacks over, leaving dents in the flooring, sending splinters everywhere.

Loly growled as her new body poorly navigated the carnage. A shriek rang out in the gigantic room as a chandelier fell down on her lower half, the sharp, rusty bass pipes acting like staples as they pinned a good portion of her posterior to the floor. Her yells continued for a long time before being halted as she bit down on lip, contorting her body in an attempt to pull out the chandelier. Sadly (for her), her multitude of limb were either too weak or damaged by her reckless storming through out the room.

Out the corner of her eye she saw several chairs fall to the ground, glancing up she saw the two bastards, James seeming to have slipped as they tried to climb higher to avoid the fire that seemed to be growing. Seeing nothing but red,she strained all of her muscles, yanking her body despite the evidence it was further damaging her.

 **Rip of skin and sound of blood gushing**

James looked down to see Loly rip herself from their trap, a great portion of her body left behind as she ripped muscles,nerves,ligaments and more apart. The action quite similar to how a lizard would abandon its tail when in danger. Blood gushed from her yet, she showed no signs of it hindering her from killing them. The two quickened their pace as loly started to skittered quickly before ramming her body into the stack the boys were currently climbing.

The two pranksters felt there center of gravity shift greatly to the right as the "tower" collapsed, whatever kept it stable being destroyed. Clutching on for dear life they braced for impact as the crashing structure flung them, like a wave does to a surfer that's fallen from their board. The two braced for impact only to luckily land on a discarded mattress. The two instantly climbing to their feet, not even having to look back to know Loly was already upon them.

The two slid down the wreckage and broke out into a sprint as Loly lept from pile to pile. The boys ran while firing over their shoulders as Loly retaliated by firing acid in massive bursts. Somehow the two teens keep escaping by the skin of their teeth at the last second.

Various objects rained down upon Sirius and James, most of it being on fire as the flames had reached maximum height and encompassed the whole room. The two marauders could literally feel the bubbles encompassing their faces evaporating as they hit another dead end. The two quickly swerved only to realizes their path had become blocked by a pile of flaming wreckage.

"What! No..no..NO! What the hell?! That thing is supposed to last two to three bloody hours!" Sirius screamed as he fell to his knees in a shocked stupor.

"I don't know! It..it was old or the amount wasn't enough!? MERLIN! We were so close!" James said as he searched everywhere and anywhere for something.

'Got...YoU...NOw…" a rasp rang out from above as loly seemed to slither down out of nowhere. she slowly encroached upon the boys, making them back up little by little.

The boys looked at each other before, smiled and embraced each other in the tightest hug possible.

"Love yah, Sirius! Wouldn't want to die any other way...except in my sleep and married to Lily."

"Heh...I never thought i would be killed by some psychotic, evil-worshipping bitch."

Loly prepared to barreled at the two, her pace surprisingly fast for the amount of blood and the crippling condition her body is in. the boys simply clenched their eyes tighter bracing for pain.

* * *

Unbeknownst to the three, right above the two boys fluttered down a feather of pure fire.

Slowly wafting down to land on the two prone figures waiting for their demise.

* * *

.

.

.

.

.

.

I screech to a halt, the absence of blood or some semblance of pain being inflicted missing. She glanced back to see nobody there.

They were gone.

Gone within seconds.

Poof! Like they went up in a puff of smoke.

I quickly skitter towards it through the flames whatever left of my arms of screaming in pure agony, whatever nerves still intact burning and searing. As i rack my eyes back and forth, my hands scouring the lit floor, not caring whether or not I'm losing all feeling (and skin) upon them.

 **GRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

I fire cero after cero in a fit of rage, wanting...NEEDING something, ANYTHING to die! I can't face it! Won't face it! I grab things left and right, not caring whether or not it burns whatever remaining skin I have off. I scream loud and long, not stopping till my throat burns and bloody spit flies from my mutilated esophagus.

"*huff*...*huff*...I…*whimper* A..Aizen-sama...I've...I've…" my hands fly to my face as I curl my body around myself, deathly ashamed that I not only failed to kill that bitch Pet-sama, but three HUMANS! My tears won't stop despite the sting every salty tear landing upon my flesh brings.

" **Loly…** "

I freeze my body-shaking sobs instantly upon hearing the familiar, silky voice that could get the panties off a nun. A good three seconds pass before I hear it again.

" **Loly...you've made me so proud."**

I peek through my locks to see within the black strings...is Aizen, dawned in his pure white robes, upon his throne. His exotic, chestnut eyes looking deep into me, as he rises elegantly from his throne.

" **I couldn't ask for more from you."**

He basically glides towards my frozen body, which had yet to make any attempt in moving as my mind had turned to mush. The only sound to be heard seeming to be the click of his heels upon the stone flooring.

"A-A-A-Ai-"" **Shhhhh."**

Aizen says as he stopped in front of me cradling me face in his hands, going as far as to rub his thumbs upon my cheek carefully wiping the tracks away. My mouth is dry as a desert as he places his forehead to mine.

" **Loly...I love you."**

Is the last thing he says before kissing me passionately. His hands warm upon my face as my body ignites with heat. I close my eyes as I get swept away in the feeling.

Perched high above in a window sill, its form reflected in the inverted moon hung eternally in the Desert of the Damned, watched a being of pure flames. It's razor sharp gaze honed upon the fallen hollow enraptured in the delusion it had painted itself as it either slowly bled to death or was engulfed in the flames.

Taking one last glance below it took off into the seemingly endless night.

 **.**

 **For the long, long, loooong wait here's scenes/writing omitted from this chapter.**

 **-Omitted Scene one-**

The sound of crumpling stones and a sickening crunch came from their right. There lying with only his feet dangling over a pile of rubble was Sirius.

"Sirius-kunSirius!" the two screamed in sync

Prongs slammed his hooves into the floor coming to a dangerously abrupt halt.

"How'd!? Guys, she's missing! She's no longer in the 4th corridor! It's-!"

Another crunch rebounded throughout the corridor as Remus suffered the same fate, if not worse. his body crumpled to the floor after skidding across the glass covered, stone floor.

"Remus-kun!?"

" **Still think I'm not a threat"**

Loly reeled back her fist, going to cave Sirius's face in for his disrespect. She stood over

the suffering animagus, only to stop as once again the orange polygon grazed her skin.

 **Hiss! That hurt you skank!"** Loly hissed out as she cradled her hand like a baby, a pinched expression of acute pain on her face.

"Back off! They're not a part of this! It's me you want and you're going to get it!" the fire haired heroine proclaimed, her voice offering no room for negotiations.

" **Who said you could take that tone with me?"** Loly seethed as..

"Woah...She's walloping the broad," James said dumbly as he she watched Orihime hold more than her own against the psychotic hollow, with a brawling technique consisting of her hairpins and hand to hand. He couldn't help be entranced by the elegant dance of power Orihime was choreographing. He watched as yet another swipe of Loly's dagger was blocked, the arrancar not even able to knick the determined high schooler. Orihime amazingly ducked and weaved every jab, punch, and kick only to retaliate not a second later.

 _She's too well versed at this for her to just to have learned this! What the fuck is going on!_ Loly thought as her world went topsy-turvy as Orihime threw her away from her with a hip toss, a hearty thud rebounded off the walls of the deserted, decimated corridor.

Orihime reeled back as Loly went into for a plunging stab when she suddenly screamed in agonizing pain! Out of nowhere a tiny, yet powerful, pink cero shot out of the floor! Said laser hit the poor female in the square of her back, smackdab upon her spine.

Loly stood frozen for a few seconds, confused as to what just happened, watching dumbly as Orihime lay screaming in pain

…&...

 **Maybe enter this into chapter:**

"Accio Remus and Sirius!" James whispered as he reeled in his werewolf friends' crumpled heap of a body, wincing with each patch of glass he had tug Remus through.

 _This'll be a lot better if they'd groan when doing this! Give me something to placate my bloody fears!_

James wiped his perspiring forehead, the magic and control he'd had to exert taking a toll upon him. So much so he had to lean against the fallen pillar he'd been using as cover. With every passing second James felt it get hotter till it felt like he'd gotten stuck in a defective floo, his breaths coming out in pants as the activity and near-death experiences begun taking an effect.

"huff huff Merlin. Huff...so ho- oh that's wonderful.

 **-Omitted scene two-**

...Butterbeer. Bottles, ripped and crumpled book pages, and someone's undergarments littered the floor. He angrily scooped up the garbage with his gloved hands (Dumbledore forbidding the use of House Elves and magic) to dump in one of the many garbage chutes. His mind seemingly elsewhere as he did the chore redundantly like some mechanical machine, his mind listing off the things hed sacrificed the House cup Quidditch game for.

 _...trash...underwear..trash...trash...bottle...sickle...trash...wrapper...chewed pencil...chewing gum...damaged quill...plushie…_

James stops as he looks over the plush he'd just found. It looked like a yellow bird in a blue hooded coat with a cute red bow tie. Its stick legs dangled as he quickly stuck it deep in his pocket, opting to give it to Lily as a gift. The mere thought of his beautiful Lily quickly sunk him into depression once again.

 **-Omitted scene three-**

 _Fuck!_ Before the grape liquid can swallow him, he quickly leap up several chairs poking out of the pile in front of him, sautéing the pads on his paws.

Luckily, He avoid the blast as the liquid seemed to be acid! Seeing as the damage left behind a giant hole in the stack he was perched on (as well as several in front of it). However, from Sirius' perch he could see how close to salvation all three were.

 **(MONSTER ROAR/BEAST NOISE)**

Black looked down as the entire structure shook, a result of Loly clawing up it. Her body now ignite as she drug herself up the "skyscraper" like King Kong.

Sirius look back and forth between the fire and Loly.

 _Fire or Loly? Fire...or Loly? Loly. Yeah, Loly. Then again... fire…_

Loly swipes at Sirius...only to come up empty! The Gryffindor with his eyes closed tight, took a running leap off the platform into the fiery depths below!

No one really knows (not even Sirius) how to explain how the next sequence of events physically happened.

 **BANG!**

Sirius wailed in pain as the impact ricocheted up his joints, rattling his bones and zapping his muscles. His head wrenching back and clanging upon solid metal; the resulting confusion and brain scramble causing him to revert back to his human form.

Sirius waited, likely concussed, in a sweaty mess for some sort of burning sensation to engulf him but, it never came. Instead he felt wind whipping at his face, a warm feeling dotting his skin every time soot connected. He'd landed butt-first in a large caldron, his body wedged in with his legs hanging over the rim. Through a thick fog he watched as his flaming surroundings zipped by super quickly as the pot propelled down the wreckage.

 **MONSTER SOUND EFFECTS HERE**

Sirius leaned his aching head back to catch what could be described as a big, flaming centipede chasing him, the smell of its burning flesh pricking his nose causing it to scrunch up in disgust.. Loly smashed down, causing a huge crater and a recoil strong enough to wobble the cauldron. Sirius looked on stupidly as Whatever remained of Loly dragged its broken self after him, her body dragged along solely by her arms wrenching it forward. Her body leaving behind a trail of blood as her body propelled towards Sirius as fast as possible. to the point

Sirius blunk again and again, trying to clear the cobwebs out of his head as his "sled" began picking up more momentum and speed; as the "slope" got steeper and steeper. Left and right the pot maneuvered on its decent, successfully avoiding the blasts Loly released along with her roars.

Sirius, finally free of the weird haze obscuring his vision (like a sick joke) allowed him to see his blazing slip-n-slide's ultimate destination was; a ramp.

A deafening "Nononoonononononononoononononon!" spewed from Sirius' mouth as the ramp came closer and closer, for the first time in his life not wanting to do something stupidly dangerous.

DAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNN YOOOUUUU DUMBLEDORE!

Was all Sirius could screech as he, cauldron and all, went airborne.

Loly came to a screeching halt and watched in wonder as the boy propelled through the air, his body leaving the weird pot completely. The bastard cursing someone or something named Dumbledore while flapping his arms like it'll actually have some effect in preventing his eminent death...or what she'd thought would kill him.

Instead the kid landed perfectly in some cabinet that'd avoided the flames to perfectly, the thing not even tossed off balance as the scruffy looking child kamikazed into it!

I quickly skitter towards it through the flames whatever left of my arms of screaming in pure agony, whatever nerves still intact burning and searing. I rip the closet doors open violently almost ripping the doors off its hinges.

Empty.

Empty.

THE GODDAMN THING IS FUCKING EMPTY!

 **NOTES**

Did I use a lot of running? Yes, but these are humans and aren't gifted nor qualified to deal with Arrancar...but, I revised and rechecked this like a million flipping times and might i say quite happy with this.

The voice of Ulquiorra's...WAS IT ACTUALLY HIM?

If you're wondering yes, I do believe James could carry Orihime in his human form. Google Image: Luffy carrying sick Nami, if you're wondering what and how they look.

Need reference for Loly's new form: Muhyo & Roji's centipede girl + No face from Spirited Away.

What was it that Sirius Accioed?


	18. Chapter 18: Hell of a Sporting Event!

**So! This is my second to last and again a super hard thing to write and keep interesting all**

 **throughout! But, I think it matches what i envisioned for this battle. I suggested listening to SMBZ- Back to Mad (rearranged and extended) (** **watch?v=F0H9OwrOiiA &t=1284s** **) while reading. Like prepare because this is an action packed chapter with multiple viewpoints that all tie together into one narrative, not the easiest crap to do. Tie in work and college life and mental things you've got quite the wait. Thank you to all the readers. Still can't believe this is 53 pages!**

 **bold= foreign language/ hollow speak**

 _italics= thoughts/ flashbacks_

* * *

Ichigo watched Yammy with baited breath, sword clenched in his hand, ready to jump at any moment.

Ulquiorra appeared next to him, what could be called a scowl upon his emotionless face, his hand hovering over his Zanpakutō s well.

The two watched the monster-sized man walk slowly towards them, each step echoed in the two's ears.

" ***BURP* Ulquiorra! I've been looking all over for you!"** a smile broke out upon the tenth's face upon seeing his "friend". He took another giant bite of centaur (bones and all) before continuing, " **Who'd thought you'd be stuck here? Bet you felt like a dumbass? Hahaha!"** the brute said spraying bits of food and scratching his groin, crudely.

Ichigo and Ulquiorra both shot each other a glance,tension not alleviated a tad.

"Yammy, once again you've compromised my execution of a command. Why have you and the others come?" Ulquiorra said slightly agitated.

" **Hmm? Mission? Aizen never assi-"** Yammy stopped upon seeing Ichigo and how close the two were standing, "… **so Nnoitra wasn't bullshitting?" A frown replaced his previous smile, "you've become chummy-chummy with the intruders?!"** Yammy pointed a meaty finger at Ichigo.

" **I knew something was up! I can see Grimmjow going rogue like the blue haired pussy dipshit he is, but you?!** " Yammy threw his hands in the air, angry as hell. " **Just because you fuck that bitch you captured doesn't mean you join her friends!** " he angrily ate the rest of the centaur, all while glaring at the two.

"HEY! Take that back you barbaric bastard!" Ichigo screamed angrily, his face blushing at such a risqué comment towards his friend.

" **Oh!? You know what? Screw this! I used to respect you, but now! After getting your chalky ass handed to you by this weakling, NO! Acting all high and mighty, when you're Aizen's bitch of a mutt! I'm going to enjoy killing you, him and the rest of you guys. Man, did I get lucky!"** Yammy pulled out his sword, his brow furrowed as he had a tantrum like the man-child, he is.

"I'll ignore your juvenile, as well as vulgar, attempts at instigating a fight and point out the elephant in the room. There are two of us, and only one of you." the fourth held up his fingers as a visual, "Hence, you're outnumbered and supremely outmatched." Ulquiorra said, as he joined Ichigo and got into a battle stance.

Yammy scowled at them before a smile broke out on his mug, " **So, Aizen's #1 whore wasn't told the secret? Didn't tell you I'm actually the C-"**

Just then a series of barks filled the air, confusing all three immensely. Six eyes scoured the grounds for the maker of said sound, before spotting it a few miles away within the garguanta.

It was a dog hollow. The hollow so tiny it seemed to drown in the endless sand, with its two floppy ears fluttering behind it as it barreled through the endless night. It was kinda adorable with its itty bitty horns, if one ignored its eyes were black, bottomless pits. Ichigo couldn't help scratching head as the dog seemed to be heading towards them, leaping out the portal till its paws was tossing up dirt and grass instead of sand.

"The hell? What's that doi-"Ichigo stopped as he took in everything (i.e. the dog's surroundings). Behind it were a swarm of hollows! All ranging from various sizes, colors and power levels, yet all bearing the same implication: we're here to eat anything and everything living. Ichigo had a moment of déjà vu, remembering the whole incident with Ishida and the dick-measuring contest he'd been forced into, as the hollow shot out the portal and spread all over the fields of Hogwarts! Soon, the fields, castle, and other parts of the forest were infested with the masked monstrosities!

The air promptly filled with the screams of students still left in the area (well, those not dead). It seemed the many hollows of Hueco Mundo had smelt all the ripe and innocent souls of Hogwarts and lept at the opportunity to feed their insatiable hunger.

Ichigo couldn't stop the "fuck" from escaping his mouth.

* * *

One pimply Hufflepuff screamed in pants-shitting terror as some red skinned, spikey, rhino-like creature came barreling toward her and several other incapacitated students.

 **RARARAAAAARRR!"** bellowed from the monstrosity of a hollow, as it headed towards several tasty morsels. Drool pouring from its mouth as it smelt the delicious souls it'll dine upon in 5…4….3…2…1!

"Trash."

The girl looked up to see her savior, Ulquiorra, whom fat the depiction of every fairytale knight. (You know, the cliché killing the monster by impaling it with his arm, its blood dripping to form a big puddle upon the princess? The iconic monster gagging upon the blood pouring from its mouth as its organs had been obliterated. Ahh, classics.)

The group of student stared dumbfounded as Ulquiorra slung the beast to the ground, his arm making a disgusting sound as the carcass slipped from it.

"Wha-" before any of the recently saved children could thank the fourth screams from a chubby Gryffindor assaulted the other's' ears, as said kid was dragged towards a hungry, blue, octopus resembling Adjucha's mouth.

Ulquiorra ripped the horn from the carcass of the rhino hollow and hurtled it towards the blue tentacled one, which died upon impact with the horn piercing clean through the hollow as well as several behind it. The several students flinched as the airborne Gryffindor hit the ground with a crunch, alive but his femur now visible to all as it poked through his skin.

"All of those that can walk or know spell in which insight that, use them on those who can't. You're survival is now in your hands, not mine, as I purge the grounds of this miserable excuses of Aizen-sa...Aizen's work" With that the alabaster skinned dead man apperated to aid several trapped by something resembling a mossy, green guinea pig.

* * *

 _Shite! Shite! Shite!_ Severus thought to himself as he screamed for the hundredth time, "SECTUMSEMPRA!"

The caterpillar-like hollow in front of him screeched in pain as several limbs hit the ground, blood pouring from whence the limbs were. The thing didn't even get to take another step as its blood attracted two cougar-ish hollows. Severus watched as the monsters pounced upon their fallen brethren and ate him alive, ripping flesh from the bone. It was absolutely barbaric.

 _And they said dark magic would be my downfall!_ Severus tried thinking positive, as he stood atop the highest row of the stadium bleachers. This unfortunately gave him a bird's eye view of the current state of the whole Quidditch field and it wasn't a pretty sight.

Littering the ground were student of all houses, all having died in a variety of ways. Some by acid, fire or plain ole impalement. He heard the hysterical laughter coming from some snapped first year, whom continued repeating, "It's a joke! It's all a big joke!" Severus quickly looked away, not wanting to see the tri-headed beast tear into her. He noticed a group, ranging from all years, surrounded by the monstrosities, trying pitifully to hold their protego spells. And in the distance he saw Ulquiorra going on what could only be described as a demented killing spree, as he rescued as many kids possible.

 _Is he smiling?!_ Severus quickly pondered before forcing himself to stay focused on the task at hand: finding Lily. He'd been scouring the grounds furiously searching for his red-haired goddess. So desperately in fact, he'd missed the man-sized spider hollow coming towards him from behind. Its pinchers dripping copious amounts of acid, melting each seat the liquid came into contact with!

It reeled back on its hind legs about to bring down its sickle-like legs down on Severus' greasy head!

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Severus' concentration broke once he felt the bleacher rumble and rattle like an earthquake had just occurred! The sheer weight of the beast combined with the hardy impact its body made dropping dead caused the entire structure to collapse!

Severus screamed in terror as he tumbled down. Down. Down. And down. Tears filling his eyes as his life flashed before him, waiting for his body to hit the ground with a loud, squishy splat!

Only it was taking longer than he'd expected.

"Are you going to climb on? My arm is getting tired!" a smooth voice called out.

Severus looked up to find it was none other than Lucius. Said Prefect looked a little ragged with his hair scorched and his robes torn and covered in blood from various sources, yet still had that elegant air to him he always seemed to exude. He heaved Severus upon his Comet, while shooting several flying Hollows out the air.

"Lucius!? You're alive!? Are…you the…only one a-alive?" the last part coming out in a squeak, as he clutched Lucius' waist for dear life.

"Slytherin are natural born survivalist, you should know this," he said with a little disapproval, "Now shut up and help me in either two ways. One, being helpful and find Regulus as Narcissa won't be happy losing her ONLY brother. Or whip out your wand and do what you've spent 6 years doing: hexing!" Lucius commanded, as he store into Severus's black, beady eyes.

"LUCIUS! WATCH OUT!" Severus screamed, spit flying into Lucius's face. While Lucius was being a supremely dangerous, distracted flyer, a three headed, winged hollow had flown into their path. Its mouth open wide, ready to gulp down the two teenage boys whole.

 **WHAM!**

"Bloody hell, there's no end to these shite bags." A gruff voice came from where the hollow previously was.

Severus peeped to see none other than Rosier, looking much like Lucius except a bloody and cracked Beater bat in his hands and had a crooked smile upon his face.

"I'm pretty sure Regulus is dead, Malfoy, he probably got eaten or trampled." Avery said with a semi-sad look on his blood splattered face.

"Oooor…he's down there." Severus pointed to the fastest figure in a group of students currently running from several deformed humanoid looking Adjuchas.

The three zoomed after the group, praying they could reach the tiny Slytherin before he's trampled or crunched up.

"Shite! We won't be able to reach him in time!" Avery screamed angrily, as he watched their tiny friend's pace slow and start, faltering as he's energy reserves ran dry.

Just as the youngest Black heir tripped over his feet, Severus whipped his wand out and screamed, "LEVICORPUS!"

All three waited with baited breath, praying Severus had hit the right one.

"Oh thank, Salazar!" Lucius said, as he watched Regulus scream in unbridled terror while he zoomed up into the air, his purple snake boxers exposed to the whole world.

"Liberacorpus." Severus would've laughed watching Avery attempt to pry a hysterical Regulus off him, screaming as Reg's snot and tears rubbed off on his robes but, the blood curdling screams of the kids he didn't save rendered the scene completely humorless.

"Okay! Let's get the hell out of here!" Lucius said enthusiastically, all four zipping through the skies like bats out of hell.

"WAIT! WHAT!?" Severus said clutching his friend's robes harshly, his hands a skeletal white, as he processed the implication of said sentence.

"What do you mean, what, Severus? We've got Regulus and now WE LEAVE!" Lucius said as they zoomed off, not batting an eye at the fact they were leaving millions of fellow student to their deaths. "Geez, it's almost as if you care for these Mudbloods and naive Purebloods...the Blood traitors." Lucius not looking back but, making sure his disdain was crystal clear to Snape.

Severus bit his lip, as he looked down trying to believe Lucius's words to be correct, but the guilt was eating him alive. The thought of all the kids, even though most were his tormentors, being killed because of something he ultimately caused was too much.

 _"So…I should do anything possible to get what I want?" Severus said slowly, as if contemplating the ramification of such a claim._

 _"Yep!"_

 _"Even if the source isn't entirely…accepted?"_

 _"I rely on the powers of the very thing I kill soooo… it's truly up to you and how determined you are"_

Severus looked back at the remains of what once was a innocent Quidditch game, the four well on there way to Hogsmeade as he'd been lost in the memory of he and Ichigo's conversation. The short flashback giving him the final push he needed.

Quickly glancing at his three friends, making sure none of them were looking at him, he slowly raised his wand.

"Imperio!" he harshly whispered as all three Slytherin halted mid-flight, all three seemed to be in a dazed stupor.

"Haaaaaahhh….We're going back and saving all we can...because Ulquiorra would be sooooo impressed by that Lucius and all the extortion you could do for saving them...And You'll definitely get laid Avery!" Severus said as he saw lewd smiles appear the the two elder Slytherin at the prospect of getting some, "And this was totally your ideas...so turn around," he clutched the blond aristocrat's waist as he haphazardly turned around, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible as the other three came out of their dazes.

"Avery, how dare you suggest leaving all those students! We've got to head back! Think of the leverage we'll get with all the other Purebloods if we save their children, as well with the faculty. Not only that but, seeing a few Mudbloods eradicated wouldn't be...totally disgusting." Lucius said as he hovered in front of Avery, persuading his fellow teammate to risk their lives once more.

"...I did see that 7th year Gryffindor with the big honkers back there...birds totally throw themselves at heroes…" Rosier said to himself after a few seconds, "Fine! But, if I die I'll haunt you and your future generations!" Avery said as he and Lucius zoomed off back towards the screams and roars.

"Get behind me! Get back! I said get back!" I say as I strike another monster with an _**Expulso**_ only for it to do little to no damage as they seemed to get up within an instant. These monstrosity came in all shapes and sizes but, one thing was true for all: they're bloodthirsty killing machines!

I feel Stan Dedalus and several other first years I managed to round up in the chaos trembling behind me, literally breaking my heart as these poor babies (having not reached puberty) see such horror. Me and several others had managed to make somewhat of a barrier like elephants do in a lion attack ( _and they say Muggle books are useless_ ) which had worked...at first but, several of them were getting hit with fatigue as every spell seemed to bounce off their predators and the flashes of colors seemed to only be attracting others.

"LILY, LOOK OUT!" I hear Hestia Slinkhard call out as I stupidly turned my back on these freaks of nature as one resembling a maroon rottweiler/ giant possum hybrid leap towards me, its mouth agape as drool dripped from its snout/muzzle combo. I could see straight down its throat, my life flashing before my eyes.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

A flash of acid green and the now dead (again) beast was flung aside due to the blast. Like a rain of doom, green blast after green blast came down hitting all and every beast in sight. Looking up I see...LUCIUS!?

"Lucius !? What're...how the?" _I've got to be dreaming there's no way...this has to be_

"Hi, Mudblood." is the first thing out of his pompous mouth as he dismounts his broom.

 _There's the twat I know...yep, this is reality._

"Hello, Lucius Malfoy…" my voice would've been dripping with hatred if I wasn't exhausted.

"Is that anyway to address your savior?" he says with a smug grin and a flip of his hair. Really making me wish I'd taking that bite to the face.

"We were doing perfectly fine, Malfoy." I said while I picked up one of the immobilized first-years the others gasping in amazement or nudging the corpses littered around them.

"Hmmm...You sure about that? because from my viewpoint you were surrounded by these ghastly creatures and being the weaker being/ witch had to have me swoop in and save all of you." He said getting in my face, his minty breath hitting me in the face moving my hair into my eyes.

"Listen Mal-" LILY!" I feel my whole center of gravity shift as spindly arms wrap around my middle, causing me to drop the poor kid in my arms flat on his face rather hard.

"Sev?! What're you doing here!" I say sloppily, already feeling a headache coming on from the havoc, screams, energy spent, and now Severus' frantic spins.

"Saving you! Quickly, we've got to get to the teachers' observation deck, come on!" I winche as my former friend seems determined to rip my arm out of my socket, as he rushed me to "safety".

"Follow us, guys!" I yelled back as Severus seemed to forget (or purposely ignored) there were others in need of help. Darting across the quidditch lawn I finally have a moment to take in the condition of the once beautiful Hogwart, it literally brought tears to my eyes.

I bite my lip hard to contain my sobs, tears rolling down my face as I see the multiple corpse of monsters and students, either deformed by some sort of power, half eaten (or being consumed as I speak) or been slaughtered by the blade of a sword. Not a second passes before I hear that disgusting forbidden spell, now falling from new young voices (some of which I never would've thunk had it in them) making me want to claw my ears off. In the background I can still see blood flying as a figure clothed in white skewered several monstrosities circling him while some huge figure in white seemed to be crushing those swarming him with his brute strength as he advanced in on some figure dressed in black. All around reverberating over and over again are screeches, howls, roars, and screams.

I must have been quite out of it as next thing I know I'm underneath the observation deck, which I don't know if its better than what's going on outside. Condensed in a rather small space were injured students from all houses and years, all oozing a vibe of devastation. All sporting red eyes, scrapes and bruising of some sort. A few doing absolutely nothing but, staring straight ahead not blinking like empty shells.

"Lily! I'm so glad i found you! You're not hurt, right?" I feel myself being poked and prodded like a patient on an operating table.

I quickly bat away the aggressively invasive hands and answer my frantic former BFF, "Snape! Calm down, I'm fine for Pete's sake! What is all this, do you know where all those things came from?" I watch as Severus suddenly has a guilty look upon his face, him now opting to look at the ground instead of my eyes.

"Inadvertently...They might have come on account of my summoning of Orihime and the gang," he whispers, not wanting any of the others to hear his damning confession

I gawk at him in what had to be a mixture of fury, disgust, disappointment and hate because he quickly added, "BUT! If I hadn't, then they wouldn't be here to defend us! So, sorta saved...the...day…"

"SNAPE! I...I…*hah* at least you came back to help...and right this wrong." the spiteful hiss dies in my throat as i opt to look at the single positive that'd happened today.

"YES! And I have a plan to get you and me out of this," he grabs my hands, a look of undying love in his eyes, making my stomach churn for several different reasons as I look anywhere but his face. "We just need to get Ichigo...though, how we find him in this blasted warzone alludes me!"

"Isn't that him?" i wrench my hands out of his and point to a man(?) with a giant's build trying to stomp on our the dimension-hopping redheaded friend.

"OH CRAP! IMPERIO!" Severus says, hitting Ichigo and making him walk towards us. While he busied himself with that I left, unable to stand the sight of such a dastardly curse at work.

* * *

Ichigo blocked Yammy's massive fist with his sword, his body skidding back with the brunt force of the mammoth fist!

 _Dammit! He didn't used to be this tough!_ Ichigo grit his teeth in frustration as he rolled out the way of a barrage of balas, one singing his black robes. The ginger specifically remembered the tenth being a powerhouse but, when did he begin to fight strategically?

Ichigo shielded his eyes as the many balas threw much debris into the air; the sand, dust and pebbles getting into his eyes as well as camouflaging the enemy. Ichigo luckily dodged Yammy's kick…but failed to realize Yammy purposely missed. Ichigo felt his back hit something rock solid, stopping his stumbling backwards.

"Please be a wall. Please be a wall, please be a wall" our protagonist whispered under his breath, but knew it was all for naught. Seeing as, despite how bizarre Hogwarts is as a whole, their walls didn't breathe. Ducking the sudden swipe the enemy his back collided into, Ichigo did a bladed cartwheel in the air before landing down with a hearty slam, successfully killing several hollows in the process…yet not fast enough to avoid a nasty gash to the leg.

 _ **You'd be faster if you used your Visord powers!**_ Hichigo said nonchalant yet exasperated, as a new horde of hollows entered through the garguanta. Ichigo quickly lept doing a quick backflip as a three-toed tentacle attempt to slam down upon him, effectively cutting it off mid-swirl. Landing he sent a swift kick to the jaw of another biped hollow, shattering its mask, before he felt the side of his face heat up drastically a fireball launched at his face. It was truly a hectic mess as the ever increasing swarm of hollows attacked everything in sight: students, him, Yammy, and each other.

Ichigo blatantly ignored his ivory-colored counterpart and send 3 gigantic Getsuga Tenshō at a cluster of hollows.

 _ **FINE! Go back to the scared pussy you once were, you'll be back begging for my power before you know it!**_ Hichigo said scathingly, before disappearing within the Strawberry's inner world. Ichigo hated to admit it but, it's true, he was terrified of his hollow again. After the total catastrophe above the dome he'd quivered at the very aspect of unleashing his visor powers.

Ichigo was pulled from his thoughts by how rapidly his skin was warming. He looked up in time to see Yammy launch a big, bright Red cero towards him.

"Shit!" Ichigo rolled out of the way, narrowly avoiding joining the droves of charred or disintegrated Hollow that'd failed in escaping. Yet, with a good chunk of the monstrous mob gone, Yammy easily spotted the orange-haired reaper and leapt upon the crouched teen planning to crush the Strawberry's head under his boot.

Ichigo promptly blocked it yet not without feeling his arms flare in immeasurable pain, the muscles quaking and straining to block the hardy kick. He felt his grip quiver in his sweaty palms, as the force Yammy exerted with his foot pushed his body into the blood soaked soil.

" **Oh, is Aizen's eye candy getting tired? I can't wait to feel your skull crush beneath my foot! And afterwards, once I'm done handling Aizen's slutty French maid, I'm going to kill that prison bitch so slow! Hahahahahahah!"** Yammy smiled evilly as he saw Ichigo's blade shift as the strength left its wielder.

Soon, it became too much and Ichigo's arms gave out, his sword sliding out from beneath the foot. His one and only protective shield gone. Ichigo felt the foot contact his head, regretting blocking the attack as the foot now had built more strength behind it. He literally felt his cranium concave within the instant the tip of the boot touched his skull. However, thank God (or whomever they worship) that Yammy was thrown off balance as an ambiguous Adjuchas bodily throwing itself at the Tenth Espada.

As the two toppled to the ground, others quickly joining the dogpile desperate for a taste, Ichigo staggered to his feet, as his body began moving without his consent. Blood poured from his head, nose, and ears as he got closer to the mess that had previously been the teacher's observation desk. He must have blacked out as the next thing he knew he was lying upon his back with a wand at his head, feeling a million times better.

"There! Now get back out there!" a voice he knew, but couldn't place basically scream into his ear.

"Wha?" he said groggily as tried to make sense of the situation. He dragged his rejuvenated body up to come face to face with a scrawny, beak-nosed boy glaring at him.

"Oh! Se…Snevilleranus!?" Ichigo said enthusiastically, mentally patting himself on the back for remembering the boy's name.

"…I'll ignore the butchering of my name, but hurry up and get back out there! You still have a massive amount of beasts to kill!" the greasy haired teen said coldly.

"Huh?" Ichigo looking all around, ignoring the dirty Slytherin, as he realized for the first time the ginormous amount of children also hurtled under the deck with him. All were looking like they'd just walked through hell as they all were injured and rattled in some way. Most physically, some others emotionally but, all were hurt mentally. Ichigo focused his attention on Severus as the pained and desolate eyes of so many young kids, some not older than 11, boring into his soul became to much.

"We…I have a plan that can get us out of here," Severus said loudly as to be heard over the sniffles and moans of pain. "We need some cover from the bigger monsters however, we believe we can handle the smaller to medium sized monsters with what little magic we have left. When we've cleared these minefield we'll head to the outer area of Hogwarts so the older kids can apparate the younger kids out." Ichigo went to interject,not understanding what might be quite crucial points in the plan, but was cut of by Severus.

"Okay. So before we're able to get there some-""What's he doing?"

Severus looked over angrily at Regulus for interrupting his strategizing session for something that had to be trivial at the moment considering their predicament.

"That guy you were fighting is doing something really...strange. He's just standing there gripping his sword and…Wait! why'd all the monsters start backing aw-"

Regulus slowly blunk as he found himself on the floor, his body having been flung out of the way by an overly frantic Ichigo.

"If you'll want to live PUMP those shields to MAXIMUM potential!" Ichigo screamed as he flung any child, no matter the extent of injury, violently from the entrance of the makeshift sanctuary. With speed that put both the Flash and Sonic to shame he grabbed his sword and barreled after Yammy desperate to stop the eminent disaster.

Yet, my God's favor was not shining upon our protagonists this day as he heard, " **Be Enraged, IRA** "! Ichigo watched dismayed as can be, as he came face to face with Yammy's resurrección again.

"Damn it!" Ichigo said before Shunpoing back to the terrified students. The poor things were definitely going to need therapy or a good obliviating after all this was over and done.

"We're leaving now! Come on! Everyone head to that carcass over there!" Ichigo said putting on his most confident face as he pointed to one of the larger hollow corpses littering the area.

Luckily, he didn't have to tell the students twice as the kids began gathering all those who couldn't make it themselves or started rushing to the large cadaver in a panic . If they weren't in mortal danger Ichigo would've been struck dumb by all the magic flying this way and that. Everything from kids shrinking to a size that'd fit into robe pockets to kids being zapped into small critters and creatures happening as others rushed to and fro in a confused desperation.

"Where the hell, are you ULQUIORRA?!" Ichigo thought as he picked up several bawling children, there snot and tears staining his black shihakusho.

* * *

"Protego!" almost every student called out hastily in pure desperation as they squished themselves to the back of the bleachers. Most trembling as the last screeches of the monstrosities rung out before they dropped dead, it not satisfying in the least.

The force exerted upon the shields made my very arm shake and teeth chatter. He glanced around the circle to see few fairing better. Regulus seemed to be darting in and out of consciousness, survival instincts the only reason his shield remained. Lucius had taken to sweating buckets, as Rosier seemed ready to pop with how red his face became.

 _Hmm…I always knew I'd be the cause of my friends' demise…who'd think it'd be this soon._

All of a sudden the pressure was gone, yet I had this sinking feeling in my gut the danger had just quadrupled and then square rooted.

"We're leaving now! COME ON! Everyone head to that carcass over there!" Ichigo screamed to everyone before tossing two 1st years upon his back like fleshy backpacks and lifting another two in his arms like potato sacks. Trying desperately to ignore the growing wet spots and sticky snot his four "packages" were leaving on him.

 _Don't have to tell me twice!_ I thought as I tried navigating the chaos, in search of the love of my life.

"Lily…where are you? AH HAH!" I exclaimed excitedly as I grabbed the red-haired witch by the wrist from behind.

"Sev?!" Evans said both shocked and confused to be so abruptly grabbed out of nowhere in the middle of such heavy chaos. I smiled at the fact she'd just called me by my former nickname, "Let's go!" I said yanking her wrist.

"What about the other? Who's to help them?" her eyes swelled with worry within seconds, like she's known to do as she dug her heels into the dirt, making my attempts of dragging her away from several injured students ineffectively .

"Who cares? We've got to go now!" I pull her towards me by her wrist getting aggravated at her lack of self-preservation. I see that blasted spark of indignation within her eyes, already knowing I'd said the wrong thing.

"Leave them? Leave them, Severus!? HOW DARE YOU?!" she screeched her voice almost trumping the noise of everyone freaking out around us. "I thought you'd changed! How can you j-just…UGG!" I watch her turn and start carefully helping more injured kids, ignoring the sneer I shot at her.

 _MERLIN! Why does she have to act like such a stupid Lion!?_ I couldn't help thinking angrily as I glared at Lily's back, mad at her foolhardy bravery and lack of self-preservation she seemed to wear like a stupid badge of honor.

"I hope this works," Lily said hesitantly before pointing her wand at some random Ravenclaw, "Human to mouse!"

 **POOF!**

The injured young freshman Hufflepuff became a mouse, which Lily carefully with much love and care placed within her robe's' pocket. Before turning to transfigure the next immobile student. I watched amazed as the injured, immobile kids became all sorts of tiny creatures, some became snakes with wondrous patterns while others became things like squirrels, rats, and various bugs.

"Here! Or are they to much of a hindrance to carry?" Lily said venomously to me, holding out a cornucopia of critters, some of which looked too deformed or still to be alive.

 _Guess I'm back to square one_ , I can't help sneering at the ground, stuffing the transfigured students in my pocket. "Hope, they're able to survive being jostled, because I wouldn't want them injured further." I add hoping she'd stop looking at me like I'm some satanic creature.

"COME ON!" Ichigo screeches as he's dragging me and Lily behind him, all while carrying four other kids. _Damn, he's strong._

We're dragged behind one of the bigger beast carcasses, reuniting with the others.

 **COME OUT, YOU VERMIN!**

I hear some gibberish, the one Ichigo and the others spoke before, echo across the entire fields.

"Okay...uh!" Ichigo took a swift peep behind the beast before shooting all of us a rather hesitant look, "Okay, change of plans, I'll distract him and you guys get to safety!" I raise my finger in objection but he'd already charged off into battle again. The sound of swords clanging and battle cries filling the air. We stood in silence, realizing the gates to get outside Hogwarts is at least a good mile or so away and we had no protection. The fact we were hidden behind a gigantic, mutated, re-dead carcass also did not help those of us able to move in the courage department.

"Shite! The bloody hell did I let you talk me into rescuing these already dead chav for?! Oh, wait! I remember why! It's because you're too much of a berk to realize Ulquiorra is a bloke and have deluded yourself into thinking he is a she because you can't handle you're a uphill gardener acting like a bloody dog with two dicks!" Avery screeched at a frozen Lucius.

The blond sprung to life upon hearing such blasphemous comments about himself and his character, retaliating in an instant. "The hell you call me you plug-ugly bell end! I will Avada Kedavra your arse, try me! Try me Rosier! TRY ME!" Lucius got into Rosier's face, his wand digging under and into the Purebloods' pudgy neck.

"STOP IT!" Lily said pushing the two frantic/ testosterone filled teens apart, trying to minimize the death toll, as she knew all of them were on their last string of sanity and this would be the match that lit the powder keg fuse. "This is neither of you twos fault! OKAY." She said as she yanked the two Slytherin's ears like a mother disciplining two troublesome children.

"She's right. Neither of you are to blame...HE is!" Mary Macdonald said darkly from the crowd. All eyes honing in on her and where her finger was pointing. It being me. Before I had a chance to object or laugh at how dimwitted such an accusation was she continued, "Think about it! Who's the one responsible for these monstrosities coming? Ichigo and his gang, right?" she paused as a murmur of agreement started between the crowd, "AAAAND! How did they get here? Was it by the Knight Bus? No, maybe the Hogwarts Express? Wait, that's wrong too? Ohhh, now I remember! HE SUMMONED THEM!" Mary finished her tirade with a roaring wave of agreement from the others, like they'd been enlightened or something.

 _Just like sheep. So easily swayed into bloody mob mentality, the idiots._ I couldn't help but think as they seemed to latch on the faultiest string of coincidence ever, _making my disgrace of a father look like a damn genius, you wench._

"Lily, please tell me you don't believe this pathological liar!? With all the rubbish he spread about Potter and his gang. How for weeks he went around screaming about Black trying to kill him? Come On! Like Dumbledore would allow a bloody werewolf around us students." Mary says, her hoarse voice getting louder and more grating upon the ears, so much so I almost block out that crucial tidbit.

"Wait...what did you say? Sirius...were...THAT'S IT!" I barely stop myself from hugging the judgemental bat.

"Wha?"

"I know how we'll get out of here, and it's all thanks to you, you daft cow! Quickly to the Whomping Willow!"

* * *

Ulquiorra stood in the center of a horde of hollows, sword drawn and ready to decapitate a few hundred more beasts. However, that was until they started dropping dead on their own with various heart-wrenching shrieks.

Ulquiorra didn't need to turn around to even know the cause of the phenomena, he'd felt every excruciatingly heavy ounce of reishi roll over his body. Ichigo had failed, to sum it up.

Ulquiorra sheathed his sword and watched as the Adjuchas scrambled to get to the portals they were making to no avail, some trampling each other, while others went for broke and took off towards the castle. Soon the previously battle heavy grounds were silent, all previous enemies littering the ground having dropped dead. Some stacked as if they were doing a twisted version of Jenga. All that is, but two.

Both had humanoid like shapes with animalistic characteristics. The first had what looked to be a horse skull as a head, which had dark green hair poking out beneath the rim in the back. It was muscular, like a bodybuilder with a hole in the center of its stomach. It actually had paler skin than himself, while the chest, forearms and legs were covered in chocolate brown fur. It had somewhat of a satyr except with what looked like the skeletal tailbone of a deer. The only clothing being a rag wrapped around its front. Running through its back seemed to be a row of black rods, like it'd been impaled ten times, all running in two rows up his back, ending at the cleft of its spine. **(V1)**

The other had a female-like shape, resembling much of what Harribel's form was said to look like. That is instead of fish-like qualities, this one's was cat-like. Long amber hair trailed down to the back of her neck, with it covering her eyes messily in the front. Her hands and feet having talons and coarse gray fur covering her forearms and her shoulders which flowed down her back like she'd she'd tied a fur jacket around her neck. Her hollow mask formed the right half of a feline's skull and two long cat-like ears, pulled back like a feral cat's. Other bone pieces adorned her crotch and along her chest resembling ribs, doing the bare minimum of covering her voluptuous bosom and sex. peeking behind the flowing fur cape was a piece resembling a cat's spinal cord that ran down her back and extended out to form three wispy bone tails. **(V2)**

"Vasto Lordes." Ulquiorra said, a little amazed at how shitty his luck was. Especially, since it seemed both wanted to take him on…at the same time.

Ulquiorra ducked as **V1** sonidoed directly in front of him and directed a kick to his face, retaliating by swiping the beast leg from underneath itself. However, **V1** sidestepped, while **V2** came from above with a somersaulting drop kick, the ground cracking where'd she hit which Ulquiorra barely managed to dodge! Within an instant the two made it clear: they're veterans when it comes to double teaming.

Ulquiorra bursted off into a sprint, running to gain distance from Hogwarts and most of its inhabitants. Looking back he saw the two powerhouses following him, as expected, and he took a hard right into the Forbidden Forest. Tree after tree zipped by as he ran at a pace bordering on light speed, calmly planning every possible outcome for the taxing battle he's about to have. All outcomes having the same conclusion: not in his favor.

He jumped from the dense forest into an open clearing before turning back (mid-air) and firing a powerful cero back down at his tailing enemies, engulfing them both and making a good-sized crater. When the smoke cleared, Ulquiorra couldn't help but frown in frustration. **V1** seemed to have formed some sort of air bubble, protecting them both from the blast.

"This'll take a lot longer than expected." Ulquiorra unsheathed his sword, prepared as **V1** charged towards him.

* * *

"*Huff* *Hufff* MERLIN!" Avery said as he flopped down on the hill, the Whomping Willow directly in front of him. The bulky Slytherin viciously perspiring as Severus and the others slowly arrived.

"Severus...if this doesn't work…*gasp* I will make sure your soul is fed to Grimmjow!" an equally exhausted Lucius threatened. everyone exhausted after the endless marathon they'd ran to reach the aggressive tree, relying solely on Severus's lie of a horrible nightly encounter he had a year or so back.

"Believe me! This'll work...there's a passage hidden by this oversized weed, that'll get us out of this warzone faster and easier than apparating when we're already too tired to climb a bleeding hill!" Severus snapped, having had enough questioning of his decision and legitimacy for one day.

"Okay…" Severus wiped the sweat from his brow as he picked up the stick he'd thrown behind one of the massive rocks during his last excursion (or assassination attempt) involving the punch-throwing tree.

Quickly deactivating the tree with a quick and precise jab, their tunnel towards salvation opened. Severus instantly began crawling in, not willing to spend another second around their now "infected" school. Deeming whether they follow or not, it wasn't any skin of his sore and weary bones.

The others stared in a sort of stupor, weighing the pros and cons of following Severus into the unknown tunnel. All coming to the same conclusion: it had to be better than the literal field of death they were barely surviving in now. so one by one, the bloodied, beaten, and traumatized students crawled into the tunnel like a line of marching ants, knowing that wherever they popped out, had to be better than Hogwarts.

* * *

He went propelling backwards his fingers scraping the ground a good mile before having any traction to stop.

He'd never been in this position in the last fifty-million years of his "life". He needed help. He needed help and he needed it quick! What had originally been two enemies transpired into not 3, not 4, but 5 enemies! Seems **V2** had the unique ability of cloning, all of which were stupidly durable! Add together the shields and barriers being employed by **V1** meant they were bordering on invincible! Mix in him also being extremely weakened to that and you've got yourself a Shit Sandwich. And boy, was it ready for consumption!

Ulquiorra spat some blood on the ground and wiped his face, only for it to be replaced by a fresh trickle of blood. He cursed as the sum of his regenerative powers were as effective as Mommy kissing a boo-boo, and his sensory abilities not working at even a measly 35% of their original power!

Ulquiorra sonidoed between two clones, decapitating the first and drove a bone snapping kick to the other's legs. As the head of the first rolled he quickly grabbed the second, whom was screeching in horrid pain, and threw her into the 3rd clone, finishing with ceroing the heap into dust.

Ulquiorra ducked the side sweep of **V2** and went in to finish the nuisance…only to be sucked back by another one of **V1's** air vacuums. He basically flew face first into a bone-shattering punch from the bull of a man. Which in turn, sent him flying backwards into the claws of **V2** and a new clone. Their sharp claws puncturing his hierro and impaling him instantly, his blood leaked down his torso, and seeping into his sweat-soaked clothes rapidly.

The two Vasto Lordes continued their assault with **V1** delivering a rib splintering elbow to the Fourth's chest, flinging his beaten and bleeding body into a large rock. The beasts' assault not finished as seconds later Ulquiorra was being impaled by several rods from **V1's** back, effectively pinning him several inches off the ground, like an ornament suspends from the branch of a christmas tree. Poor baby.

Ulquiorra felt the blood pour from his mouth, drowning his tongue, as his lungs filled with blood, each breath coming out as a pitiful wheeze. Reaching up shakingly Ulquiorra aggressively ripped the rods out of his left palm, right pec and left thigh a sickening pop sounding with each peg removed.

His butt plopped to the ground with a hard thud, a bloody red streak trailing down the rock along the path he'd slid down. His vision now blurred with black and white dots which littered his field of vision everywhere and anywhere. Ulquiorra sat and experienced excruciating pain for the second time in his "life" (once due to Kurosaki, the other being now) seeing any move as futile, he closed his eyes and waited.

" **WE DID IT!"** **V2** hissed at her teammate as she and her clones skipped around **V1** , giddy over the fact she'd taken down such an high caliber enemy.

" ***sigh* must you be so excited?"** **V1** roared nonchalantly, as he continued staring at their downed opponent.

V2 and her four clones pouted with their hands on their hips, peeved at the apathetic response of her partner.

" **WHAT?! Come on, aren't you a little elated we were able to give this guy the ole "One, Two, Buckle my shoe"? Wonder if he'll taste better with or without his clothing?" V2** chastisingly mewed, not paying attention to the obvious fact **V1** wasn't listening.

" **I don't know…something doesn't feel right. Something about the situate-"** he was cut off mid roar by Ulquiorra's oddly calm voice.

"That should be all of them."

Both of the Vasto Lordes whipped around to see the Espada standing wobbly, blood still pouring down his chin and front.

"The students have finally evacuated, allowing me to use this technique without any possible consequences or chance of compromising my orders from Dumbledore-sama." Ulquiorra said super nonchalantly, despite his torso being soaked in blood and his arm swinging back and forth, broken in 2 places.

Ulquiorra then opened his mouth and inhaled. Soon, dozens of pale-ish blue spirits were flying towards Ulquiorra's mouth, all ranging in size and shape. What could've been more than a lumpillion flew into Ulquiorra's mouth before he gave a tiny burp!

"Never thought I'd ever have to resort to such primitive methods, as Gonzui." The two Vasto Lordes watched in horror as Ulquiorra's wounds began healing!

"Oh. You trash must be confused, allow me to explain. When we fought, I was in a drastic condition due to the effects of starvation. Not nearly a tenth of my original condition or strenght. However, now with sufficient food littering the grounds as well as the students out of range…I can battle at my full power. Allow me to show you the difference between an elite being such as I and the trash like you." Ulquiorra said as he pointed his sword at all five of them.

" **Enclose** , **Murciélago"**

The Vasto Lordes watched frozen, as a black oppressive like wave shot from the Cuatro Espada and seemed to blanket them, with a power that would've snapped the spine of any lesser Hollow. Ulquiorra raised his arm and pointed his pointer finger at the five beings and simply said, loud and clear, "Trash."

 **BOOOOOOOMMMM!**

 **V1** panted, surprised the previously (re)dead man was now significantly stronger. Thankfully, his years of living in the dayless hellhole, Las Noches, had honed his reaction time and he'd luckily raised his shield fast enough in order to block the enormous blast. Scared for his long-time companion, He turned around to release a sigh of relief. A small smile creeping onto his face upon seeing his 6 other companions were safe.

… _Wait…wasn't there only fiv-_ **V1** felt his world go topsy-turvy as he was grabbed by his neck, before whatever the enemy held smash him into the ground. It was like a sledge hammer hitting a nail, **V1's** body being slammed deep within the grounds of the Forbidden Forest! To say he hit China wouldn't be an exaggeration as a bottomless pit formed where he was smashed down into.

Ulquiorra instantly locked onto the major threat of the two, **V2** , and was going to "domesticate" her (a.k.a. Beat a bitch). He pounced upon **V2** , flinging her much like he did to Ichigo above in the dome of Las Noches. Only for him to instantly sonido behind her and vivisect her airborne body! As the two pieces split and the inners sunk out of the torso, it's skin turned bleach white like her remaining pieces of her hollow mask, the common trend he'd picked up telling him he'd actually exterminated a clone and not the original! He floated down to the ground slowly, to find himself surrounded by a hundred (or more) clones. **V2** foolishly thinking her having the upperhand in numbers would actually save her.

 **{Okay this is where it gets a little confusing! I'll try to make this as easy to follow as possible (warning this will use breakdancing lingo/moves.}**

The swarm of clones charged at him at top speeds, their claws glittering in the sun as their hair stood up like a feral cat's would, all poised to puncture Ulquiorra! Catching them a tad off guard, Ulquiorra charged towards them, his mind screaming for blood.

The first clone didn't even get a hit in before its throat was slit, blood pouring to the ground as Ulquiorra smashed its head to the ground with his foot, using it as a springboard as he slashed #2 straight upward,cutting its belly wide open. Using his momentum he smashed his lance down on three others, the poor hollow clones split vertically into two symmetrical halves.

He quickly blocked the slash to his abdomen from the left with the edge of his lance, sparks flying as the two weapons collided, he quickly countered by crushing #6's windpipe in his hand. Using #6's mute self as a shield he easily blocked and trapped three others as their claws became stuck in the ribs of #6, a quick flick of the wrist and #7,#8, and #9 were beheaded. A wave of more clones came flanking him on both sides, needing a distraction he stomped upon the freshly severed heads, their blood splashing everywhere like popped water balloons providing the perfect smoke screen as it splattered over all incoming enemies. The clones wiped viciously at their eyes and bodies, trying to clean the splatter of blood off them, completely missing the cero that eviscerated the lot of them.

Seeing how easily he got through the first wave, caused the clones to kick it into overdrive. Opting for them to strike in waves faster and harder. Groups of threes, fours, even sevens charged the Espada, all ending the same: dead.

#20 got a inners-rupturing roundhouse kick to the side, leading to to be flung so forcefully at four others it impaled them with itself as it hit a tree, several branches protruding through several points in their bodies. With a quick dash he did a sliding dive into the center of forty or so of them, cutting straight through their ankles separating them from their feet completely, quickly transitioning into a handspring to a windmill, his legs connecting and shattering the jaws of all of them. Quickly releasing a barrage of ceros at several advancing hordes, blasting them full of holes in various areas. A sea of blood soon layering the forest floor, drowning the plants and leaving crimson mud everywhere.

The laughter within Ulquiorra's mind turned completely maniacal as the ragged pants of **V2** hit his eardrums sounding like a beautiful symphony, it coming from the one cowering behind a stack of bodies, peeking at him through the perfect circular hole he'd blasted into #89. Ever so slowly he turned his head (and only his head) towards his bruised and terrified opponent, savoring the flinch he received as the Vasto Lordes finally realized whom the apex predator was.

Finally deciding to utilize her fight or flight instincts the feline-like hollow made a break for it, devastated she'd have to leave her longtime partner. She passed millions of trees as she weaved and wound through the branches of the Forbidden Forest traveling faster than a bullet, adamant in getting the hell out of there.

* * *

" **Must escape! Recover, yeah that sounds good! Then, I'll go back and rescue V1! Oh, please forgive me!"**

Just as a tear slid down her face remembering the friend she'd left behind with that monster, **V2's** body came to a jerky stop, while a sudden grating pain shot up her spine from her fragile tails. As if the very nerves attached to her spinal cord were being slowly snapped one by one at an agonizing pace.

"I believe I recommended not dropping your guard, trash."

The monotone voice sent a spasm down her aching spine, her blood hit degrees colder than sub zero, bile rose up into her mouth as her stomach churned with fear, and tears springing to her eyes. Before, she could even turn to see the stoic face of her attacker, a hand grabbed the back of her skull. The manicured nails digging through **V2** 's hollow mask and deep into her cranium.

The bones began to splinter and crack underneath the 4th's grasp, his nails digging deep into the nerves and muscle while her skull felt as if it would cave-in upon itself if Ulquiorra squeezed any harder. Ulquiorra wrenched her back to instantly stomp upon her spine, catapulting her to the ground at dangerous speeds.

As the feline Vasto Lordes slammed into the ground, she heard her bones crack, ligaments snap and tendons tear. She just lay paralyzed, whether it was due to pain or her broken, protruding spine she didn't know, her ragged breath the only sound she could make as her face contorted into a silent scream that did more than enough to illustrate her pain.

She watched helplessly as Ulquiorra approached, now back to his normal form, the very sound of his shoes crushing the leaves littering the forest floor, effectively having her scared shitless.

"I must congratulate you and your partner", **V2** heard the demon droll out as she was wrenched up by her hair, face to face with her torturer. "Never would've ever thought my Resurrección be seen by anyone outside the Winter War but, a lot has been defying the realm of what I thought possible. I must say I now have an inkling as of why Sexta loves biting off more than he can chew, it makes it all the more satisfying when he finally captures the "little shits" and watchs the hope drains from their eyes.

Ulquiorra and **V2** store into each other's eyes. Red eyes with tears streaming from them met emerald green eyes. One a flurry with gut wrenching fear pleading to be spared. The other a void of emerald that rippled with what seemed to only be sadistic intentions.

The very last sight **V2** saw was the back of Ulquiorra's esophagus.

" **Help..."**

 ***CRUNCH.***

* * *

 **V1** 's body groaned in pain as he dragged his body from the crater he'd been slammed into, his head throbbing as several flakes of his mask broke off.

" **Ugggh…never thought I'd get my ass handed to me by a guy in a dress…heh heh…Get it, V2? V2?"**

" **Where are you?"** a ominous feeling hit our Vasto Lordes' stomach as he saw the devastation of the surrounding area and the absurdly high traces of reishe littering the air. He instantly started off towards the entrance of the Forbidden Forest,. Along the way he begun to perspire heavily, not because of exhaustion but because of fear.

" **V2? V2?! V2?! Where are you?! Where are yo-"** he stopped his frantic pacing and calling upon hearing a haggard voice pitifully squeak out the words, "help". It was **V2** which, made his stomach do even more backflips.

" **V2! Hold on, I'm coming!"** **V1** roared back,it's urgency not hiding his distressed.

 **V1** dashed off into the forest, fear growing exponentially as the smell of blood strengthened and a sickening crunch echoing louder the closer he got to his partner's location.

Ulquiorra ignored the futile yet annoying swipes and shoves of protest, as he ripped another chunk from the dying feline Vasto Lordes.

Never had a meal been so satisfying, his stomach literally singing Kumbaya with each bite of the savory flesh torn from his living opponent/meal. He licked his fingers catching some of the blood flowing like a river down his hands, not wanting to waste a drop, before ripping one of V2's arms off like a drumstick. Every heart wrenching, tortured whimper was an added bonus for the ungodly hassle he'd been put through with the tag team.

A sigh escaped his lips as the gashes and other wounds littering his body healed to a degree, finally causing the his blood to cease flowing as his regenerative powers kicked in.

 _Still not even up to 1/100_ _th_ _of my original power, this is pitiful…no, this is absolutely degrading of a being of my caliber._

Ulquiorra didn't flinch as he feel an insane, bloodthirsty vibe roll over his body, as a strange noise filled his ears. He lifted his head to find his prey's companion looking quite fearsome. V1…looked terrifying. His muscles seemed to be bulging, now more defined than they were originally. His mask now cracked along the side showing a portion of his face, which looked quite close to having an aneurysm with how furious he looked. One could smell the anger he exuded. His pupils now completely gone, being replaced completely by the white cilia of his beady eyes. The sound of his teeth chipping and cracking could be clearly heard as a result of how furiously he was grinding them.

Ulquiorra turned towards the beast, who'd still yet to blink or cease growling, making **V2** perfectly visible. The growling intensified. Ulquiorra preceded to grab the Vasto Lordes partner's head, and took a giant bite out of his partner's face, silencing her hopeful whimper or being saved.

*chew**chew**GLUP!* "Will you fare better, Trash?" Ulquiorra said as he wiped the blood from his chin.

Both hollows leapt towards each other, ready to end this once and for all.

* * *

" **Getsuga Tenshō!"**

Three giant black cleavers did little to nothing to the tenth's hierro despite hitting him dead on.

" **Get back here, you pest!** " the ridiculously huge monstrosity bellowed as he swiped his meaty hands at the fun-sized reaper. With a leap that'd make Mario proud, he jumped over the gargantuan hand. Yet, once again he was running out of his usually bottomless stockpile of energy.

 _Shit! Doesn't he have a weakness!?"_ Ichigo thought as his breath turned ragged, his heart pumping as if it would go into cardiac arrest.

" _Where the fuck is Ulquiorra!?"_ Ichigo mentally screamed as he dove out from Yammy's palm as he went to clap his hands, hoping to effectively smash our hero like a gnat. Ichigo quickly dove into the shadow of Yammy's many feet, disappearing once again from Yammy's vision.

"Maybe, I should use Hichigo…"

* * *

Ulquiorra muscles flexed as he entered what was akin to a pushing match with V1, both of their hands entwined as each tried shoving the other away. Ulquiorra's hair blowing to the right as V1's burning, ragged, and enraged pants blew in his face. The Vasto Lordes having lost his mind at the sight of the Fourth's desecration of V2.

Both shoved away from each other, Ulquiorra firing several balas at the rampaging monstrosity,which hit but pain seeming to no longer affecting its movements, it's only goal being to make Ulquiorra pay.

Ulquiorra now finding out that V1's specialty didn't only lie in defense as he utilize his ability to manipulate the air, pulling and pushing him, affecting his footwork and balance. his other power lie in the protrusions running up his spine. As he'd been ripping rod after rod from its back, all growing back instantly, and launching them like rockets at Ulquiorra with his air manipulating powers. The cylinder projectiles becoming harder to dodge as the battle continued. Ulquiorra twisted his blade too and fro, deflecting the incoming rods with loud clangs, only barely halting the one targeting his spine as V1 got behind him, rod in hand, ready to skewer him.

"I must admit, you're quite the foe." Ulquiorra said as he disappeared to quickly reappear in the air, putting some distance as his chest fell and rose a bit faster than he wanted.

' **RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRR!' V1** fired back, spit dripping down his chin, having lost his ability to speak long ago as he'd lost his mind. Chasing Ulquiorra into the air.

 **Boom! Klang! Clash! Boom!**

With a quick kick to the back of the skull he sent the rampaging monstrosity to the ground, quickly followed by several quatrillion balas and ceros after him. A sizable crater forming once again as Ulquiorra's opponent ate dirt.

 _That won't keep him down for long...if at all. I didn't want to resort to this but he leaves me no choice, I must get to Kurosaki._ Ulquiorra thought as he glanced over to see the ineffective barrage of attacks Ichigo unleashed on a laughing yet irate Yammy in the distance.

"Enclose Murciélago" Ulquiorra said quickly followed by "True despair" With a quick swan dive he impaled V1 straight through the heart(?) ripping said organ out before taking a huge bite out of it like he hadn't eaten in months (granted that kinda is true) Shoveling it into his mouth, making quick work to absorb every ounce of the much needed energy and nutrients his body would need especially if he was going to use his second form.

"sigh...Onna...the things I do for you…"

* * *

Ichigo tried to stay optimistic and look at the Brightside constantly repeating phrases like, "I'm sure that one hurt", "he totally winced at that cut", and "he's definitely getting tired. I can see it in his eyes!" but, deep down he knew he was doing little to nothing, only truthfully making the titan caterpillar more aggravated.

Ichigo sent three Tenshōs at Yammy's mile-long back as he ran along the obstacle course/maze of a body that is Yammy's Resurrección. He hid his miniature body behind one of the hill-like, bone spines running along Yammy's back, trying to catch his breath. _I take back my claim of Ulquiorra being the hardest Espada i've fought, Yammy takes the cake as well as being the most tedious._

Ichigo pressed himself closer to the scale as a finger ran through the "valley" he was hiding within.

"Where are you, Ulquiorra!?" Ichigo angrily whispered before plunging Zangetsu deep into Yammy's flesh, digging a deep trench as he ran up and down, making the goliath's body bloody. He smiled at the string of swears and pained hisses it caused Yammy to release.

" **That's it you orange-haired dick! This ends now!"** Yammy bellowed out.

And then he did what Ichigo, all of Hueco Mundo, even Aizen didn't think be physically possible.

He jumped.

He jumped high into the air, rocketing Ichigo into the plain sight as he lost grip of Zangetsu, everything about the Shinigami clashed with the clear, blue sky. It's pretty obvious as he looked like a oversized, gangly, black and red pea in the clear, blue skies.

In the span of a millisecond his airborne body was stuck by a great meaty hand, smashing him down towards Earth, his whole skeleton literally shook with the force behind the blow.

The course of his crash locked on one of the busted bleachers, everything becoming a tsunami of colors and noises, blurring and distorting his surroundings. Yammy smiled upon seeing the puny Strawberry release a horrifying, loud scream of agony, as his smack sent him into the rubble of the bench seats, right onto a protruding beam of steel.

Searing pain was all Ichigo felt as his right side was impaled on one of the steel beams protruding outward. The rusty, rugged-surfaced rod punctured clear through Ichigo's back to the front. The rusted rod went jutting out his side, making every squirm to get off excruciating. Ichigo felt his heart sink into his gut upon hearing Yammy's disgusting laughter, obviously not affected by any of the attacks he'd been delivering. He felt blood bubble up his throat, as he hacked up a lung as he continued to dangle above the ground like an ornament straight out of a horror movie.

"S...shit. *HACK* *HACK* I'm… I've… got "he mumbled out slowly, he watched with hazy vision from the disgusting pain and blood, as Yammy went for the final blow.

" **Heheheh! You thought you could beat me! Didn't I tell you before I'm in a whole different league of the other Espada?! They are piles of shit compared to me!"**

With that being said the giant brute released his destructive laser upon the limp and bleeding Ichigo. Ichigo closed his eyes, weakly struggling one last time as the beam barreled towards him at high speeds. He could literally feel his skin blister as the beam got closer and closer.

"Are you purposely trying to shame me, Kurosaki Ichigo? By admitting defeat to this pitiful excuse of an Espada, Resurrección, and a creation of Aizen-sama?"

Ichigo opened his eyes to see his guardian angel, which is ironic as he looked like a creature that'd dragged himself from the depths of Hell.

It was Ulquiorra! Better yet, it was Ulquiorra in his Segunda Etapa form!

Ulquiorra planted his clawed feet into the dirt firmly and clapped his hands togethers , braced himself before hurtling his newly formed javelin straight through the beam of destruction. Splitting it directly in two, saving Ichigo's strawberry ass. Ulquiorra blocked out Ichigo's current critical condition and instead, focused upon the extent of the destruction done to Dumbledore's beloved school.

" **Ulquiorra! You white-skinned asshole! I'm goin-AAAARGGG!** " Yammy screamed as one of his legs was severed from his body by his former "Best friend".

"Yammy. I was entrusted with one mission, just one. Protect Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which you have single-handedly decimated with your coup de grâce of trash, four beings that are utter wastes of space, time, and the multiple souls they've eaten, whom you've deemed comrades. You have once again caused me to fail, the second time in my entire existence, now under a new lord. I hate failing Yammy. I despise it. Failing makes me angry. This destruction of Dumbledore-sama's possessions makes me angry. Now, you have two options, one that's close to being withdrawn from the table. The first is simple and a limited time opportunity. Return to your normal form, sheath your sword, and cease these actions that go well beyond the realm of petty and childish. You've proven nothing besides your natural barbaric demeanor and mentality. Or, take the second option which is close to being the only option. Remain here, die, and become a gift of penitence to Dumbledore-sama as a pitiful token of apology for my failings." Ulquiorra said slowly, waves of fury roaring off him.

Ichigo didn't know whether he was sweating from pain or fear of the animosity radiating from the two titans.

"Um, UlquiorraAAAAHHH!" Ichigo screamed in pain as Ulquiorra's tail wrenched him from the rusted bar, blood pouring from the makeshift hollow hole. Ulquiorra didn't even turn before thrusting his searing Javelin into Ichigo's leaking hole, burning the wound shut. Ichigo's screech of pain easily ignored by the two juggernauts.

"Yammy. Your answer. Now." Ulquiorra said, rage burning through his stony demeanor.

"… **Fuck yo-"**

Yammy's words were cut off within seconds as Ulquiorra smashed his javelin across his cheek splintering his lower jaw, like a hammer does to a vase. Yammy's head was flung up, down, left, and right as Ulquiorra utilized his javelin like some bladed sledgehammer, swinging it to and fro at the formerly cocky Yammy. He finished with smashing the caterpillar-like titan over the head sending him into the already demolished Quidditch field, forcing everything from his neck up to be buried in the soil.

All was silent as our two heroes waited for the giant to move only to receive nothing.

"Is he finish?" Ichigo said through gritted teeth his body still aching from all the damage it'd taken from Yammy and his supposed comrade.

"No…we're just getting started." Ulquiorra said as he threw the newly formed green javelin at the vibrating 10th Espada.

Only for it to be obliterated by the reiatsu shield Yammy released with an enraged roar. Yammy's eyes twitched upon seeing his prey, blood poured from the slashes he'd received while veins popped all over his dome of a head. The enraged monster promptly released a cero bala combo at Ulquiorra, Ichigo and the castle!

"Oh shit!" Ichigo blurted out before once again being treated like a stuffed animal by Ulquiorra, his dexterous tail flinging him out of danger's way.

Ulquiorra simply took a javelin between his furry hands, his face completely blank as the ray approached too speedily to seem logical. Ichigo watch from his crumpled, heap like position as Ulquiorra's javelin stretched till it looked more like a spear than javelin, which he began twirling in front of him _. Almost like a baton_ , Ichigo instantly thought.

Ichigo watched amazed as the javelin twirled round and round in front of Ulquiorra, so fast it seemed to form a light green circle in front of him. The Fourth dug his feet into the soil, still not making any indication of moving out of the cero's path.

"MOVE ULQUI-"Ichigo stopped as he saw the laser get blocked…no, better yet, destroyed by whatever Ulquiorra was doing, his javelin's spinning forming some protective shield blocking the destructive beam . _How'd I beat this guy?_ Was the only thought running through his brain as he watched what should've obliterated all, be rendered useless.

"I believe I said there'd be no more destruction of Dumbledore-sama's possessions." Ulquiorra said before flashing out of the way of Yammy's meaty fists.

" **Where'd you go, you winged piece of shit!?"** Yammy frantically turned left and right, searching for his batty opponent.

"Down here." Was all he heard before his underbelly was blasted by two Cero Oscuro simultaneously.

Ichigo watched dumbly as Yammy received the ass-kicking of the millennium by Ulquiorra, every move proving either to be too slow or ineffective against Ulquiorra. If he wasn't so downright furious with the Espada he'd feel a little sympathy to Yammy's continual stream of pained screams.

 ***HAH**HAH**HAH****

Yammy panted as his attack was once again blocked by Ulquiorra. _The little fag's too fast! I can't touch him!_ His anger grew more and more.

" **Once I catch you, you're dead!"** Yammy said under his breath, trying to focus upon finding his speedy enemy. " **Trust me, I'll murder yoAAAAH!"** Yammy screeched as three javelins puncher his forearm, shoulder and neck!

"Yammy. Look at me."

Yammy open his eyes to see Ulquiorra a few feet from his face, looking down upon him. _That bastard! Thinks he's better than me!?_

Yammy went to charge a cero, but faltered upon seeing Ulquiorra's smile (!?)

"Goodbye, Trash." Ulquiorra said before sending a miniscule cero at the javelin embedded in his neck.

* * *

Lucius and several others looked towards Hogwarts curious of the sudden spectacles of green rain, the various explosions and whether Hogwarts' newest arrivals would survive.

 _Oh no! Oh no, wait that brute just scream her name!?_ Lucius worry grew as did the damage his continual chewing did to his nails, having already biting each finger down to the wick. Not able to will himself inside the bar, despite how welcoming the warm beds and food would be for his sour body.

Upon arriving to the shrieking shack, after escaping the minefield that'd once been Hogwarts they'd come upon an angel. Aberforth, the owner of the Leaky Cauldron, had been passing by when he'd heard the racket they'd made. The blessed wizard had been kind enough to take all of them in, despite their gruesome, gory appearances. Without even asking a single question, he'd given them food, drinks and potions. _Strange how extreme the quantity and quality of healing potions he'd had though._

After doing a roll call they'd found out a total of 39 kids were dead or missing, " _Most being either Mudbloods and/or Blood Traitors."_ Lucius thought vindictively before returning his thoughts to his latest obsession (I mean fancy).

"Lucius! You'd better stop or do you want poor people hands?" Rosier said as he counted all the birds he had dates for Hogsmeade with as thank yous for the daring rescue. Rosier smothered his laugh when Lucius flipped him off, and resumed his frantic pacing and nail biting.

He didn't bother turning around as he heard Severus and his filthy ex-friend come out, the Mudblood finally done mothering everyone. Despite not being a seer, he had a pretty good guess of what she wanted.

"You should get something to eat, Malfoy." Her voice slowly said, trying to placate the frantic blond.

 _10 points to Slytherin, Mr. Malfoy_

"Follow your own advice." He retorted, too distressed to add the usual racial slur.

"I can't, not when the one you love is in death's grip" the Redhead responded after taking in a shuddering gasp, missing the devastation upon Severus' face due to him hiding behind his hair.

He turned to look the redhead in the eye, ignoring the devastated look upon Severus' face. "…Then, don't go asking me to do the impossible, either." He said after many seconds of contemplating.

Their moment of understanding was interrupt by the sight and sound of the explosion at Hogwarts, the blast so powerful their ears popped despite how far they were. The three kids hit the ground, shielding their heads as the all the windows upon the Leaky Cauldron exploded, glass shards raining down upon them.

"THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT!" Rosier screamed out voicing everyone's thoughts.

Lily grabbed Lucius' hand helping him to his feet, both teens obviously distraught, and he truly couldn't find it in himself to not squeeze back, gripping her hand tighter.

* * *

Ichigo lay there, once again slumped in a heap, having been blown off his feet. His ears felt like they were bleeding as the whine in his ears stretched into the one minute mark. The pitch of the ring being so bad he didn't even realize someone had come up behind him.

Ulquiorra stabbed Zangetsu into the ground beside his orange-haired head, not even looking at him as he plunked down beside him.

Ichigo knew they'd won…or did they? He didn't have to look around to know…they'd failed in one way or another…okay, they'd failed completely.

The very grounds of Hogwarts didn't look real, but they were. The once neatly cut, green fields were no more. Clumps of lawn had been torn up by the frantic feet of children running for their lives or by the claws of hungry predators. Everywhere were corpses, some not completely eaten, of hollows and students. Scorch marks, craters, and other elemental effects were seen around the field. The bleachers had all crumpled and ruined beyond repair. The worst and most consistent feature being the blood splattered everywhere, sometimes in buckets.

He looked over to see Ulquiorra's skin slowly regenerating, the blast having engulfed his body as well. The flesh slowly turning back to a pale white, black fur returning over the multiple charred patches.

"Am I a bad servant?" A muffled, monotone voice said, breaking the long stretch of silence

"…A better question being, Am I a bad hero?" Ichigo said solemnly glancing over at his furry partner, his face buried within his arms, which rest upon his knees. The posture actually humanizing Ulquiorra in a way.

Another awkward silence passed, both at a loss of what to say. Ichigo could feel his sore muscles tense with the current condition of the tag team's moral, feeling the self-loathing and despair radiating of the Fourth.

"Uh…S-s-sick moves out there, with the…protecting and stuff." The redhead said awkwardly, not having any idea how to handle the situation as he'd had little to no interaction with the Fourth. "Really saved the…castle! Yeah! The castle."

"You…also did…well? With the quick and consistent hindering of…Yammy, despite it bringing no success. Your presence was…needed to save Dumbledore's soldiers…you weren't…trash." Ulquiorra said after another long stretch of silence, racking his brain for what the Onna would do in this situation.

"…Right. Thanks." Ichigo said curtly yet, kindly knowing that's the best he'd possibly get from the mechanical man.

The silence resumed, but not as heavy as before giving the battered heroes a well needed rest. He could feel the adrenaline seep from him as he let his heart return to a normal pace after having it frantically pumping far too long. For once the scowl had left Ichigo's face, it finally looking like what a 16 year olds should.

…That lasted a total of 8 seconds…

"Grimmjow might be dead. And if my senses are accurate Nel is currently battling Nnoitra…and just lost a gratuitous amount of reiryoku" Ulquiorra said, not looking at the beat up Shinigami.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO SOONER!?" Ichigo screeched as the words registered within his brain. Wrenching his sword from the ground, he broke off towards the castle.

Only to have the path blocked by a bloody, torn to pieces hand (?) slamming deep into the ground, blood and a finger fell as its force was too much for the mess of flesh.

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE SHITTING ME!?" Ichigo screeched to the heavens, his voice reaching impossible volumes due to anger and total exasperation.

Yammy was still alive.

The former monster was literally missing a gigantic portion of his body, having lost it to the supernova of an explosion. Much of his former flesh had been burned off, some pieces still sliding/peeling off! Blood gushed from the missing sections of his body yet, still he stood (ill balanced) hovering over the pair.

"HOW THE HELL IS THAT FUCKING POSSIBLE!?" Ichigo yelled at Ulquiorra, who now stood next to him, waving his arms at Yammy's disgusting "body" (and I'm being lenient with the word, "body").

" **Yo-you've…made me mad…So mad. N-now, you'll pay!"** Yammy gurgled out, as his jaw barely managed to remain upon his face!

Ulquiorra and Ichigo watched frozen, as the goliath became a great example of something out of Akira. His muscle mass doubled. No, tripled! NO! Quadrupled in size!

"Ulquiorra! Do something!" Ichigo screamed at Ulquiorra, only to find he'd become borderline comatose!

"Ulquiorra! WAKE UP!" Ichigo shook his comrade, scared of his lack of response and Yammy's continual growth.

"Ulqu-"Ichigo was cut off as Yammy was engulfed in a pillar of red reiatsu, with it came literally a wave of destruction. The red spirit energy fanned out in waves that would put any tsunami to shame. The seemingly endless, violent tide stretched every inch from the Quidditch Field to the Forbidden Forest and the Castle. Trees were ripped up by their very roots as the earth it was previously planted in followed soon after. What remained of the equipment and property remaining on the Quidditch Field became no more. The corpses that previously coated the field evaporated, the very pressure had ground them into pure dust! Ichigo felt the fabric (or what little remained) be torn from his chest as he was lifted off his feet!

"FUCK THE HōGYOKU!" Ichigo managed to say before the world went black.

* * *

 **CRASH! BANG! CLANK!**

All occupants went silent as from the back area of the bar a feminine groan rang out.

"Wha...that where the secret tunnel in Hogwarts is located...stand back" Aberforth said, his wand raised with an attack spell already charged.

The war torn children waited with baited breath as Aberforth tiptoed to the entrance before forcefully kicking in the door, hoping the sudden whip of the door would distract the intruder long enough to get the jump upon them.

The kids could only watched confused as the Dumbledore look alike quickly pivoted, his face a bright pink.

"Wha...is it an ene...ORIHIME!" the other redheaded teen said elated to see her recently made friend alive. Only to figure out why the elderly man blushed so extremely. The girl was basically naked, as 90% of her clothes seemed to have been disintegrated or only held to her body by mud or crusted blood. The girl looked at Lily with glazed yet tearful eyes, tackling her quite aggressively. The tight embrace winding her as well as providing quite the lewd image for all not averting their eyes (*Cough* Avery *Cough*).

Li-li-lily! L...L-L-Loly..James! He-"Shhhhh", Lily said as she repaired the teens clothes as Severus handed her a powerful potion, trying all he could to not sneak a peek at Orihime's scantily covered, voluptuous body.

 **Several moments later…**

Another delighted child's squeal rang out as Orihime's powers regenerated yet another lost limb, the 3rd year Hufflepuff swinging back and forth flexing her new hand. Said process had been going on for the past several minutes, as Orihime downed another energy replenishing potion.

"Can you believe how lucky we've gotten Severus!" Lily said as she leaned over watching the ecstatic girl run over to her friends showing them her hand like it was the latest broom made on the market. Not paying attention to the skeptical look grazing her former best friend's face.

Severus looked over at the Dumbledore look-alike, not believing all the luck they'd been having. Call him cynical but, the amount of potions lying around, the convenient way he'd just appeared to find them...the amount of room available for all of them and the way he'd yet to ask any questions or raise an eye to the fact they were bloody and/or dying didn't seem logical.

 _It's almost like he knew all of this ..._ Severus thought to himself as he saw Aberforth look at the clock and rapidly remove the liquor from his cabinet shelves, and mutter something underneath his breath.

 _Like he's expecting some..._ "REMUS!"

Severus is dragged from his musings by the scream of Lily and the rapid rise in mumbling beginning as a extremely battered and bloody Remus rolled out of the cabinet clutching his bleeding stomach. His skin pasty and sweating profusely. Making the hell they'd traveled through look like a child's birthday party.

Before he could even hit the ground as he fell face-first from the cabinet he was enveloped by Orihime's fairies, the blood, wounds and fatigue being erased till the boy looked brand new.

"I'll take him upstairs, where he can get some much needed rest." Aberforth said upon seeing Remus pass out, fully recovered, but still fatigued.

Seeing this as his chance Severus followed after telling Lily he had to personally thank Aberforth for everything he'd done for them.

Seeing the man place the horrid werewolf in a bunk Severus closed the door after slipping in inconspicuously, the slam causing the man to whip around abruptly.

"Oh! its...You! Sevanus right?"

He remain silent, not feeling like dignifying that with a response and just went with a blunt, "You knew."

"Wha?" Aberforth said confused, "I think you've had too much Butterbeer, kid. Head back down-"Drop the act. You knew we'd be there, in the Shrieking Shack, didn't you? Or are you going to stick with the tale about you just "passing by" and "heard a ruckus?" Severus said cutting off the elderly wizard mid-demand.

The smile disappearing from the bartender's face, "Watch your tone kid. Ever heard the saying "don't look a gift horse in the mouth'? I saved you and your friend's bloody arses so I'm not going to take any smack from you."

"Ah! There's the main suspicion of mine being addressed. Why would you, a man with no responsibility to us seeing as we're only customers, take us in? Feed us and use such powerful and expensive potions? I can see you aiding Lucius or several other wealthier students as rew-"

"*Sigh* my nutter of a brother said you were smarter than the others, just forgot to include cynical and pessimistic." Aberforth said grumpily as he did a slow clap. "First off, y'all should be thanking me as Albus told me to just leave the lot of you in that rat-infestation of a shack. Second, y'all are eating my food and potions which I chose to stacked up upon, with my OWN Galleons." He said poking Severus' chest, severely agitated at being lumped into one of his "genius" brother's nefarious plans. "Word of advice, BOY! My "brother" isn't the fashion-less, robe wearing saint everyone claims he is, there's always some hidden meaning or sphewl about "for the greatest good or something" when HE'S the one that thought Gri-"

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!**

The bar shook as some sort of explosion was released, the very rafters shaking to the point it looked like the whole roof would cave in upon itself. The only thing louder than the very building shaking upon its support beams being the manic screams of a certain platinum blond. Both wizards opting to finish their conversation for a later less hectic date rushed downstairs to quite the scene.

"LET ME GO! I'VE GOT TO RESCUE HER!" Lucius screamed as he tried to escape the grasp of his fellow schoolmates and friends.

Upon seeing the bright red pillar he'd lost it. That was 3 minutes ago, they had yet to succeed in calming the Prefect down.

"MY QUEEN NEEDS ME!" Lucius said, punching one of the more unscathed students in their faces.

"Merlin, look at this, Sever-OH SHITE! HE'S GETTING AWAY!" Rosier said before he and a few others bolted after the distraught Slytherin whom was busy crawling out the glassless window. Rosier struggled immensely as he pulled the blond prefect by his robes. Neither party stopping till a the sound of rather expensive fabric ripping and the whippie of a free love-sick fool.

"OH NO! you don't!" Lily said before hitting Lucius with a sleeping spell, all wincing as the teen hit the cobbled street like a sac of bricks. Unbeknownst to all, as Lucius fell into his forced slumber the Golden Snitch he'd grabbed from the disastrous Quidditch game flew off, Its destination: Hogwarts.

* * *

Ichigo awoke to complete darkness. Everywhere was black.

 _I'm dead…yet, I-I can't say I'm hating it. Well, not that I want to be dead but, DAMN passing away sure is comfy. Feels like im swaddled in a cloud yet, its sturdy like a plain of metal._

Ichigo sighed contently, basically melting from how soothing the afterlife felt. The smooth and icy plain his bare skin rested upon was euphoric, especially after the repeated close calls in which he'd almost been barbecued. The only other texture besides the refreshing cool plane his face rested upon was soft. Creepily soft and fluffy, dare he say! Each brush made his wounds lessen in intensity and made his tense muscles slacken. To top it off the whole place smelled of…pine and other exotic flowers with a pinch of arid desert sand, this had to be heaven.

He couldn't resist snuggling closer, the tiny bit of moisture upon the cool surface touching his face and-

"Kurosaki…you're making me…uncomfortable."

"Ulquiorra?," Ichigo eyes shot open and darted around his pitch black surroundings, craning his neck left and right, "Where are you?"

The blackness evaporated the instant Ichigo finished his question. Leaving Ichigo to discover it had been Ulquiorra's ginormous wings encompassing them in darkness and he had been (and now still) snuggling into the Fourth's chest. His arms around his neck as his head rested on his bicep, dangerously close to Ulquiorra's hollow hole.

"Uh…" Ichigo said dumbly, body petrified for a variety of reasons, "Oh…you used y-your wings as p-protection?" Ichigo said numbly, as he rigidly and mechanically climbed out and off Ulquiorra's furry lap.

…

"*Cough**cough* GOOD JOB…uh…TEAM!" Ichigo said with a beet red face, not even attempting to look at the bat. "Let's go beat that…IDIOT with our SWORDS and…and BARE HANDS! LIKE THE MANLY MEN WE ARE!" Ichigo said with his chest pumped out, going as far as to wave his sword crazily above his head.

Before Ichigo could continue scraping his manhood off Hogwarts' Quidditch field, two furry, clawed hands pulled his shihakusho's collar aggressively. His body once again getting the ragdoll treatment as he was pulled to and fro. Craters seeming to appear everywhere the two of them had been mere seconds ago, as if each time they were escaping by the skin of their teeth. As he was being pulled Ichigo was able to catch but a glimpse of it finally, getting a grasp upon their situation as he saw what their previously fallen foe had become.

Yammy had now become bipedal as his 10 previous hoof-like, muscular legs disappeared and now fresh, thick bushes of crimson fur covered them. His tail dropping its wrecking ball attachment and transforming into that of a monkey with black spikes running up his spine now triangular instead of the black rods previously there. His previously demolished hollow mask encompassed more of his face as a headpiece with four horn-like structures running backwards with two horns lining his jaw. His arms now back to what the looked like in his normal form while his gut had quadrupled in size alone. His belly making up three-fifths of his torso as his breast and hollow hole shrunk immensely. All of this topped off with two enormous bone horns curving towards the sky sprouting out the shoulderblades.

The two final "fuck you" in the situation coming from Yammy's number going from 10 to 0 as the one's ink just flaked away like some type of temporary tattoo you get at a child's birthday party.

The other? His agility had improved immensely as his new reach and anatomy took away the clunkiness of his previous form. Ichigo gasped for breath as a familiar fluffy black tail wrapped around his neck freeing up Ulquiorra's hands to make and hurtle a flurry of plasma javelins at the rapidly approaching monstrosity of a Espada.

"Head for the *ERK* Woods! wel-" no sooner had Ichigo said that (although it barely coherent as the tail seemed to tighten every second) Yammy released a cero, dust cropping acre upon acre of the forest into oblivion, as well as all residing in it. Leaving ashed earth and charred remains (if lucky) of plants previously flourishing in the Forbidden Forest. The massive cero's destruction stretching endlessly.

"It's more effective to attack from two places, hence a divide and conquer technique being the optimal solution to this grave revelation. You focus on his lower extremities as I launch a more aerial based offense, dividing his attention, and rely upon our own skills for survival." Ulquiorra said in his monotonic voice, seemingly unphased at the situations proceedings.

"Wait! Do you mean-"

"Yes, to simplify this is where I'll be dropping the dead weight and your on your own Ichigo Kurosaki." the espada said before Ichigo felt his body being flung like a shotput towards Yammy at an alarming rate of speed.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Ichigo said as he skid across the field, like those that compete in the Cheese Rolling (look it up, it's weird), dust and clumps of grass flying behind him as he skid right between Yammy's crimson furred legs. Quickly, focusing on the task at hand and burying his ire towards the Fourth, Ichigo whipped out Zangetsu and entered Bankai mode. Instantly, he began gathering up power for a Getsuga Tenshō , holding it longer than usual making it bloat to an abnormal size, as power pumped into it in a constant and rapid stream. Thankfully to a distraction done by Ulquiorra, Yammy never noticed Ichigo slide directly between his legs til it was too late as Ichigo released the power filled Getsuga Tenshō vertically, cutting him much like that unfortunate Menos Grande experienced as a result of Ishida's stupid Hollow Cocaine.

Only, much like most of today's events, his plan didn't go as expected as instead of vivisecting the massive brute in half it left but a piddly burn mark, the attack not even powerful enough to break the skin, let alone split the Cero Espada in half.

Ichigo watched wide eyed as Yammy's massive meaty paw hovered above him, intent on making him experience what so many insects have and be squished be a being with more power. The Strawberry blond quickly scampered to Yammy's left leg, instinctively climbing the beast one clump of fur at a time, his shihakusho being ripped clean from his chest as Yammy's pinky caught the coattail.

" _Damn...I really liked that one to._ Ichigo absentmindedly thought before resuming his climbing, every few feet jabbing his sword into the lumbering Yammy's thigh with only the same result he had with Nnoitra, he wouldn't cut it!

 _Lets just hope Ulquiorra's having a better result on his end._

* * *

 _What an nuisance this has turned out to be._ Ulquiorra thought as he flew around Yammy's swing, stabbing him several times with his Lanza del Relámpago, yet it having again little to no effect but, some scratches not even deep enough to cause the Cero to bleed.

The only thing going to plan is distracting him from Kurosaki's attacks but, after seeing how effective his Getsuga Tenshō was the louder Ulquiorra's rational brain seemed to say how ineffective and pointless their attempts were/are and they should simply give up.

Twirling out of the way of another poorly aimed swat, Ulquiorra took to carving the behemoth's vast back steadily getting more aggravated at Yammy's new speed as his movement seemed to catch up to him faster and faster gradually, despite Ulquiorra being in his ultimate form.

 **SSSSKKKKKKKKK!**

Ulquiorra watched as yet again his attack seemed to be almost ineffective against the monster's hierro his frustration growing much like his headache.

 _Aizen couldn't have made him invincib-wait...is that?_ Ulquiorra thought to himself, finally having possible the clue to their victory when gravity shifted abruptly. He'd forgotten the first rule of battle: never take your eyes of your enemy. He let a disgruntled sigh escaped before he felt his innards (if he has those) shift as he was whipped and flung to the ground by his tail, said appendage's tendons ripping and tearing, so that some portion of it was still held in Yammy's meaty pinched fingers.

Ichigo watched as his companion was swung like a beanie baby towards the ground, his protective brother instincts kicking in as he leapt towards the plummeting Arrancar catching him in his descent. Paying him back as they skid a few meters across the grass and foliage, his back screaming as it skud a massive amount of skin off. Ichigo looked up as a massive black shadow encompassed their bodies. He closed his eyes and buried his head is the Fourth's shoulder. Saying a quick prayer for this to be as painless as possible, he clutched Ulquiorra tighter and waited for the stomp...that never happened.

Ichigo looked up as see what had to be 600 suits of armor, either made of metal or stone, stacked or clustered together holding up the humongous paw. While several other seemed to be climbing the tenth's furry legs. Like metallic and granite ants they swarmed the opponent, shocking the Shinigami and Espada as their weapons actually seemed to be effecting the beast.

"Wha…" Ichigo's shock only rose more as he saw several knights swatted off at extreme heights, smack the ground, only to reassemble themselves and get back into the scrap.

*Cough! Hack! Hack!*

Ichigo looked down to see Ulquiorra tail regenerate just enough to stem the flow of blood...the appendage looking like a wispy cotton ball on a frayed piece of string, much like what he'd done above the dome of Hueco Mundo with his leg and arm.

"Ulquiorra! Are you okay!? You're spitting up blood and -" Ichigo was silenced when a furry tallon was raised in front of his face, Ulquiorra pushing himself off of Ichigo's lap. The Fourth's head hung as he seemed to struggle for breath, something Ichigo never thought (nor wanted) to see.

"I know...how to beat him." Ulquiorra seemed to struggle to say "but, we have but one shot." Ulquiorra looked him in the eye with a steady gaze that screamed he was going to end this and he was going to end it now.

"'If you are willing, then I'm right there with you." Ichigo said with the same fire burning in his eyes, both men knowing this will end one of two ways: either Yammy's colossal body lay dead at their feet or Yammy's body lay there with both of their corpses right along with him.

No more, no less.

* * *

High above the clouds in the more oxygen deprived stratosphere, stood our two heroes (well, hovered). Ichigo quietly gulped as he looked at the glowing radioactive-green lance held in his hand, the thing crackling and fizzling with so much reiatsu, it was boarding on unstable. The lance's power seeming too much as it was burning through the gauntlet. The plan and its multitude of ramifications as well as the high probability of failing not really ringing right in his mind as he ran over the plan once more in his mind, like a movie being rewound.

 _"His face?" Ichigo looked at Ulquiorra quizzically, "But, his hierro is too th-…"That ability doesn't extend to every surface of our body, I came to realize that when Onna slapped me across my face. The very fact I felt it actually rendered me speechless at the time. However, it only made logical sense seeing as it'd be foolish for any creator to make one's creation's defense mechanism flawless, it'd have an advantage as well as superiority from Lo- Aizen."_

 _He sketched out a rather great rendering of Yammy in the dirt and ash with his claw, "Here," he indicated as he tapped the cranium of the diagram, "is the optimal point to target, if not being completely normal, it has to have a lower density when coming to how thick the hierro coating it is. Our best option is the frontal lobe, destroying the brain in case his body isn't destroyed so he'll become as dangerous as an overgrown vegetable._

 _"You sure this'll work, Ulquiorra? cause last time my attack did nothing? Hell, even your attacks did nothing despite being right next to him!" Ichigo said while taking a glance out of the divit they'd been hiding in since the impromptu intervention by the magical metal and stone statues, said things keeping Yammy's attention as they swarmed him in droves._

 _"That's because my thrust didn't have enough power behind it in which to break the skin, in my normal condition it'd been a simple "bing, bang, boom the fucker's dead" as Grimmjow might so barbarically put it. However, the immeasurable amount of time spent in such a desolate zone of spirit particles and reiatsu has lead my body to resort to the most primitive of survival mechanisms in order to maintain my current evolutionary form. In layman's terms It's been eating itself, along with it a majority of my power. Power in which wasn't at its original state thanks to someone decimating my body to the point of disintegration," Ulquiorra glared blankly at Ichigo before continuing," Hence, we have to substitute said action with another which will yield enough power and momentum behind it, which is where all the danger I previously foreshadowed comes into play."_

 _"For you?" Ichigo said hopefully/jokingly yet already knew the answer as all he got in return was the barren gaze of the Fourth's golden-yellow pupils._

 _"If you were to plummet with one of my Lanza del Relámpagos in hand from the correct height and gather an adequate amount of speed, you'd be able to gather enough momentum to shatter the thick skeletal structure of Yammy's skull, reaching his brain and ending this once and for all."_

 _"And...say I fail in any aspect of this plan? What're the ramifications in case there's the tiniest, tiniest percent chance in which this plan fails?" Ichigo said warily_

 _"Having spent a century with Yammy and his mentality the simplest explanation would be...a genocide known to no man upon this dimension and its inhabitants before he returns and slaughters all your comrades and whatever resistance remains in our dimension."_

"Is the armor really necessary, Kurosaki?" Ulquiorra said as his body strained to keep all 355 pounds aloft in his already weakened final form, his wings working double if not triple their usual amount. The Fourth's hands was clasping one of Ichigo's hands while the other clutched his forearm (reminding him of the foolish game the Onna kept on about...one with blue and yellow animalia).

"I'm the one needing to plummet with close if not the exact speed of a shooting star, I'm wearing armor so I don't erode like one too!" Ichigo said huffily, "not all of us have a God complex having, one curled-haired, traitorous dad to give them metal skin! Besides I left the helmet, for your information."

He released a shaky breath as Ulquiorra's tail wrapped around him, securing him closer to his body as he did a dowvard barrel roll, sending them into a speedy downward spiral at rapids speed, their descent hastened by the armor's added weight. Ichigo could feel the sweat run UP his face to the sky above as he looked down at their target, the crown of Yammy's head.

Ichigo tried composing himself as this was the second time in his life he'd been hurtled through the air in/with something that could explode right in his face **(Kakaku Shahou Niban Kagizaki my ass!)** All the while chanting in his head over and over again on repeat, _swoop in, spear, swoop out. We have a small window of time to escape said blast...we got this._ He'd just succeeded in getting his heart pumping at 20 miles per hours (instead of 74) for it to skyrocket again.

Yammy was staring right at them!

"UH! Big problem rearing his ugly head at us!" Ichigo screamed at the top of his lungs, as the wind seemed to carry his voice away with it. Receiving no reply Ichigo watched as Yammy seemed to make some type of swat at them, before Ichigo could guessas to what'd he exactly done a metal bullet came hurtling at them!

Ulquiorra simply moved a bit to the left, but Ichigo was able to make out exactly what the silverish-gray projectile was: it was one of the pilot-less knights! Yammy was chucking them at them like a snotty kid would throws rocks at birds.

Ichigo felt Ulquiorra's grip tighten, his arms and tail latching him closer to him, signaling this was going to become quite the rollercoaster. Continuing their speedy decent like their lives depended on it (which it kinda did). Ulquiorra rolled, swerved, dove and spun around everything the Cero espada threw at them: trees, the statues, boulders, even big chunks of the Earth. Left, Right, corkscrew flip, pivot, nosedive, right, swerve. The Fourth not batting **(get it)** an eye as he flawlessly evaded each obstacle, continuing to pick up speed every second.

Ichigo could feel his skin heating up as they became akin to a fireball the iron armor breaking off of him as he felt like throwing up from all the aerial maneuvers he'd been subjected to. Leaning his head to the right, feeling this horrid morning's breakfast crawl up his throat, he spotted something approaching at rapid speeds.

The thing unbelievably was running and leaping left and right from all the things thrown at them, like a ninja!

"Ulquiorra! Hey, Ulquiorra!" Ichigo screamed trying and failing to get the Fourth's attention, Ichigo watched as the thing got closer and closer, its features and forms becoming more focused to reveal a buxom humanoid hollow, like the monster he'd become atop the dome. The creature's fur was missing in several places like it'd been vaporized off; in other places it was extremely disheveled and caked in sweat, blood, dirt and...more blood. Bruises littered its body in array of colors ranging from plum purple to a sickly-looking yellowish green. The crowning jewel that depicted the true severity of its injuries were the pieces of hollow bones having either been fractured or broken off completely and the missing arm. However, the thing that was really frightening Ichigo were its eyes, the whites dominated them, almost swallowing the pupils entirely, pupils that were dilated to hell as the thing sped toward them, claws ready to gut the two of them, well Ulquiorra to be more precise.

"ULQUIOR-!" **YOOOOOOWWWWWLLL!** " Ichigo felt the world twilt, experiencing ultimate whiplash as the two hollows plowed into each other, Ulquiorra taking the brunt of it as his hands were busy supporting Ichigo. Ichigo quickly clasped Ulquiorras leg, wrapping his arm around it as tightly as possible while his feet dragged behind him in the wind as Ulquiorra flipped on his back, the demented hollow straddled his waist trying to wrench its wrists from the Fourth's clawed hands.

Looking down Ichigo saw Yammy's smug smile shining up at them, as Ulquiorra reverted to a more primitive form of fighting, the two soulless creatures clawing, biting, hissing, and roaring at each other. Ichigo's grip slid from Ulquiorra's leg and he almost flew away like a leaf on a windy day, If he hadn't managed to grasp the tiny tuft of fur at the tip of Cifer's tail.

Ulquiorra was in between a rock and a hard place, for one instance he could right himself (and Ichigo) and proceed in a (hopefully) quick battle with the mindless Vasto Lorde. However, the stopping of their downward plummet would negate all they've done as well as all the energy he'd burned. Coupled with Yammy already knowing or getting a general sense in what their plan entailed made it even more foolhardy to re-attempt. Ulquiorra glanced behind the clone of V2 as they had a battle of power, Ulquiorra seeing Ichigo a hair's breath away flying away, literally.

Ulquiorra watched as one of the previous gauntlets Ichigo wore, that'd flown off in the sudden assault, come crashing down falling ten times faster despite being way lighter. Within seconds of watching it zoom by Ulquiorra realized the perfect course of action. The Espada lurched backwards, quickly entering a spin that was so fast the three looked like a black tire plummeting through the air.

"ULQUIORRA! ULQUIORRA! I'M SLIPPING!" Ichigo yelled at the top of his lungs, believing the bat had made a mistake...till he saw Ulquiorra mouth the words, "You're our last hope. Don't botch it, trash."

"YOU! GRRR... DON'T DIE ON ME, AGAIN!" Ichigo screamed at Ulquiorra as he was flung, this time faster down towards their target. Ichigo squinted his eyes, barely able to make out anything with the high speed winds whipping his face actually drying his eyes. His hand holding the lance had gone numb as the thing become more and more volatile and unstable with every passing second, its chaotic energy destroyed the gauntlet and burning the nerves in his palm. It's neon flames trailing behind him, like a cape as he hurtled down, dead set on finishing this fight once and for all.

But Yammy wasn't going down without a fight. right below the plummeting Shinigami was the brute, mouth open wide, a cero already charging. The red ball of doom slowly growing bigger and bigger as blood red rays of energy flew into it. Ichigo felt his heart sink into his stomach, but promptly buried that sense of dread beneath the roaring forest fire his flaming desire to protect had become.

With a quick twist he righted himself till he was falling feet first, hunching forward a bit, wanting to look Yammy directly in his beady, merciless eyes. He grasped the lance with both hands on fist on top another like he was holding Zangetsu's hilt, holding it at the center of his chest, grit his teeth, and bent his legs like he'd was kneeling at an altar or the feet of royalty. With nerves hardened, he watched unblinkingly as the reddish glow of the cero got closer as the heat from the blast warming his face as he descended.

But, finally after hours of death, disappointment, and life giving him and Ulquiorra a big, "fuck you" luck turned towards our heroes! Like an RKO, out of nowhere a ginormous cherry blossom petal pink laser came crashing out of nowhere, shooting right into the behemoth's chest!

 **GAH!** Yammy released a winded gasp, the air knocked out of him, causing him to lurch backwards, eyes crunched and teeth grit, muffelling the sudden shock of pain. The blast causing him to negate the cero he'd been charging! He quickly recovered, opening his squinting eyes at the exact moment as ichigo plunged the javelin through his forehead

Ichigo held the weapon steady, disregarding the flames searing his body as the flames engulfing him, the shockwave traveling into and all throughout his body zapping his nerves, he still held strong.

"COME ON...COME ON! BREAK DAMNIT! BREAK!" Ichigo shouted as he pushed down putting all his weight upon it, every fiber in his being protesting while his logical side pleaded him to drop it and run, that he'd struck deep enough but, he wasn't leaving anything to chance. he wasn't stopping till he'd finally broke through the monster's cranium, ending once and for all.

Like a panel of glass slowly cracking under pressure, so did Yammy's skull with every passing second. In any other situation the slow but gradual progress would be celebrated, this was not one of those situations. As Ichigo could see with every second that passed the Javilin's structure become more compromised, reishi shooting out like sparks of lightning so roided up they actual shocked him, ripping into his skin like a barrage of needles.

Just as the thing began to practically vibrate in the young Shinigami's hands, a sickening crack seemed to reverberate around the battlefield, the crack coming from the of Yammy's skull as ichigo shot into to it like an arrow going through glass, several pieces of his cranium shooting out toward the surrounding area due to the shockwave/impact. This was quickly followed by the sound of grapes being squished underneath ones shoes as he fell into the pitfall he'd just made in Yammy's skull. Ichigo gagged as he wassplashed with a tidal wave of blood, his socks, hair and pants got waterlogged and he lost his sandals. Pieces of membrane stuck in his hair and slid down his chest like big gray slugs. Glancing to the side he realized the situation he was still in, the lance driven into Yammy's brain, and madly raced to his feet slipping in the muck of neutrons and brain fluids having to wrench his foot out with each step. Reaching the wall of the skull he prepared for the last stint of the wretched day. Needing to just climb out and run the fuck away, as fast as possible. Only ...his hands were useless now, the once capable hands and nerves burned and now unresponsive despite his mind telling his them to move. It just wasn't willing or able. Ichigo scrapped the wall with his shoulder searching for something, any sort of ledge or divit to dig his toes into, as he rubbed his soggy socks off. Yet, every attempt ended the same with him landing on his ass or on his back in the pool of blood, his energy too shot to simply air walk his way out of the chasm.

 _Better this than death...Hichigo! Damn it! HELP ME!_ Ichigo mentally screamed as he fell once again after another failed escape attempt.

 _ **Hey! I told you what to do and you gave me a proverbial Fuck you! You fucked us over and there ain't no deus ex machina bullshit to save you like back in Hueco Mundo. Guess the saying, "long live the king"doesn't apply to you.**_ The inner hollow said nonchalantly with a hint of malice/ childness undertones. -

 _As the seconds ticked by slowly but surely images of his home-life, Yuzu sitting at the table having already distributed her famous home cooking, worry in her eyes as his seat at the table remained empty, Karin attempting to assure her the gang had just gone on a field trip. The tomboy making sure her hat was tipped down and face buried in her bowl as both were always very effective in hiding the very contradictory look on her face and the tears in her eyes. Dad doing his weird Mom poster hug to lighten the mood...that is if Aizen hasn't succeeded in his plot. The man and his top 3 generals...with Ulquiorra being so strong and only fourth, it'd take a miracle for them to stop Aizen…_

Ichigo's eyes opened as he let out a deep breath remembering all that Yoichi had taught him and that panicking would get him nowhere. Steeling his frantic mind he made one last attempt, it now being do or die. Taking a more indepth inspection he was able to find shallow enough divots that he could get a third of his foot in. Utilizing all his balancing skills (some he didn't even know he had) focusing on his balance instead of his closely encroaching doom.

After what felt like a millennium, but in reality was maybe 30 seconds, Ichigo got to the top. The exhausted teen lay hunched over with his head resting on Yammy's skull, sweating profusely as his whole body felt like it was shutting down.

 _Almost there, just need on-_ **grrrrrrr! Yip! Yip grr...!**

Ichigo's weary eyes shot open as he looked into two black holes of nothingness. It was that infernal hollow puppy, the thing surprisingly having not crushed or eaten in the long war today's Quidditch game became.

Ichigo watched unblinkingly as the thing backed up, he unknowingly muttering "no" and "that's not fair." over and over again as the dog finally stopped backtracking and took a running start towards him. Ichigo shot one last look at the sky, his last sight being Ulquiorra ripping the rabid female hollow's head off (part of her spinal cord following) as the hollow pup smashed into him. The suicidal dog sending both he and itself tumbling back into the pit that was Yammy's skull.

Time seeming to slow down as he plummeted, like he was in some action movie. Looking up at the vast, cloudless sky that wasn't even his own, watching as Ulquiorra attempted to save him as he dived after him.

 _Heh, guess I've changed the ever logical espada into quite the impulsive fighter._

He didn't hear the lance detonate behind him. He didn't hear Ulquiorra call out to him. He didn't hear his heartbeat anymore. Ichigo felt as if his head was underwater, every sound muted almost as if he wasn't actually there, that it was all just a dream. Maybe it was, but it was okay if it wasn't. That this was really happening and this was truly the end, no more miracles to save him out of nowhere. Yet, he felt fine with it, accepting in a certain type of way because he'd die doing what he loved: protecting others. He lifted his arm, hand outstretched with the very last of his strength, towards the sky like he was a child again, trying to touch the clouds overhead. He gave a weak chuckle as the tips of his fingers grazed the tips of Ulquiorra's reaching claws, tickling him. He one last deep breath of air, the last he'd ever have.

 _Breathe in..._

 _Breathe out..._

And everything went white.

* * *

 **Notes:**

 **Suites of armor might waeigh up to 110 pounds and the diagram I looked (** **history/middle_ages/knight_plate_armor_blank_** **) at had 10 labels so each piece is 11 pounds. Also using Ichigo's former weight.**

 **I had to really stretch and expand upon Yammy and his forms' ability to keep it interesting as the dude dies in like 3 chapters, most being off screen.**

 **Sound effects are also hard as can be to write sound effects for, or for me it was.**

 **Could an avada Kedavra kill a hollow? The hell if I know, but they can now!**

 **And this is the second to last chapter, so many viewpoints and syncing up of scenes and writing double teaming is harder than Math, which I suck at! Sorry for the long wait and I'll try to be quicker as I've always hated when authors would start but never finish a story. And now that the writing bug has kinda dug itself in my skin I have two...maybe 3 new stories in mind. One being a crossover combination, never seen on !**


	19. 3252018-Desperate times

To all those following or favorited this story, I'm sorry if this seems offensive or selfish to anyone in any shape or form, but could you please say a prayer for my cousin. he had a meltdown today and has disappeared, the police have yet to find him and he's once written a suicide note. Worst thing is he's millions miles in Minnesota, who even knows if he's dressed appropriately or he's... I'll try to update but…yeah.

News:

the last chapter or second to last (maybe have a epilogue) to Transendio Summosa. Also, recently started a new crossover and an update on my other bleach story (might also re-write the first chapter) and several other ideas running through me mind. But, once again any sort of wish or prayer or whatever would really help in this desperate time. Thank you.


	20. Chapter 20: Alls well that end well?

**Author's Note: Well, peeps all good thing (well, I thought this was good) must come to an end. The story has reached its final chapter, where all those questions you may have had will be answered or I hope I get all of them. I went back and edited the previous chapters' formatting as it all looked like bricks. I'm currently working upon a new series or several series that have been running through my head, one of which is a crossover! So, enjoy and I'll try to pump out those updates and new series as fast as physically/mentally possible! And this may have a sequel...or not.**

 _italicized: flashback/though_

* * *

Severus didn't know whether to be disgusted by Dumbledore's actions or get down on his knees and praise him for what he'd done.

Everywhere he looked, were smiling faces. Students playing, hanging out, laughing but the truly scary thing being all of it was genuine. Severus couldn't help but recall the events that transpired two nights ago.

 _Everyone shuffled into the Great Hall, a wave of sadness surrounding all as everyone clammered to a seat, noone caring whether they were sitting in their right house or not._

 _The whole dining room silent, noone daring to speak as there wasn't anything to be said. Friends and roommates had died. Their school disemated. Their innocence stolen._

 _No one applauded or reacted as beautiful plates of food and desserts galore appeared in front of us, people opting to stare at it blankly or poke at it with their cutlery as all appetites had evaporated now they were back in Hogwarts and able to see the numerous empty seats left by the dead and or missing._

" _Greetings my students, the young and beautiful minds of the Wizarding world!" the jolly voice of the headmaster rung out, his tact in the situation appallingly bad considering they still wore the bloody and torn clothes from mere hours ago._

 _Our eyes bore into him as he made his way towards the Head Table, once there he stood to look at everyone. His face showing the complete opposite of his tone of voice. The Headmaster looked exhausted, deep trenches under his red eyes showing a lack of sleep and many tear had been spilled that his flamboyant robes couldn't hide._

" _Students, I know you must be disheartened, angry even at the very sight of me after what has gone down in the past couple of hours." he paused as a rumble started among the us, "However, despite the horrible turn of events we cannot lose hope or spirit and forget the good and sacrifice that everyone of you did today. I'm proud to call you my students as you all selflessly rose to the occasion when most would have coward and shied away. Now, let us take a minute to honor all of those lost tonight with a toast."_

 _All of a sudden goblets of wine magically appeared in front of everyone of us, as Dumbledore launched into a speech of those who passed away and what they've done for everyone._

 _I looked at my drink, sceptical of its contents after my conversation with Aberforth...actually sceptical of most of the things Dumbledore has done in the past. My gut feeling getting worse and worse as I saw the goblet's contents had a unnatural sparkle to it I'd never seen before. I quickly vanish my drink, nonverbally. Thankfully no one noticed as their focus was centered on Dumbledore._

" _...Now let us drink to their memory." Dumbledore raised his goblet high, as did everyone else, before taking a drink and everyone downed their drinks._

 _Dumbledore waited 10 seconds before shooting his wand in the air, lighting all the candles that'd gone unnoticed in the grim atmosphere before till the place looked like it was decorated with stars, a smile on his wrinkled face again._

 _I look over at Lucius to ask if he knew what was going on, the sudden shift from morbid to jolly in seconds being too weird for even the likes of Dumbledore, only to see my long time "friend" have the glassiest stare ever with a milky storm raging in his eyes. I turn and see Rosier and Regulus have the similar if not the exact same expression._

" _Now! We've had a rough couple of days from a Grim resulting in so many beloved students and friends transferring wizarding schools, to Peeves scaring off all the owls and messenger birds in the owlery away that I've decided we're to take a long and well deserved break from classes until further notice, let's enjoy these last few days before the school ends. Also don't forget to stop by and see Ichigo and his gang in the infirmary. NOW, LET THE FEAST BEGIN!" Dumbledore says joyously, a chorus of cheers from all erupting before we begin to eat dinner._

 _Everyone quickly separate into their right house seating and begin to dig in with gusto. the neverending rivalry and usual banter flung back and forth between us resuming like it was any other Friday._

 _All I could do is gape in amazement as I'm pushed and shoved to my usual seat, anger but primarily fear at what the Headmaster had done. In the span of 6 (maybe less) seconds, he'd rewrote history. In everyone's minds, besides Albus and I's, the Quidditch match didn't happen. The invasion and mass killings at the hands of those bone-faced freaks of nature didn't happen. The destruction of our home and school DIDN'T HAPPEN!_

 _I watch as everyone went on like nothing had happened, that people aren't dead! THAT WE AREN'T STILL IN RIPPED AND BLOOD-SOAKED CLOTHING! I feel someone's gaze burning into the back of my head, I turn to my left and see Dumbledore looking me dead in the eyes, a sorta knowing glance before he puts a finger to his mouth._

" _Shhh."_

No matter how I laid out the facts and obvious loopholes to my friends, they had a simple explanation for everything. The destruction to the towers and castle? simple, construction was being done to Hogwarts. The missing and or ruined paintings? Vandals and pranksters are always causing trouble, had to be Peeves with a quill. Hell, I couldn't even use the Quidditch field as evidence as the thing looked untouched! New, fresh, green grass replaced the scorched torn up patches and any carcass was gone or incinerated by the godly explosion that took place on the grounds. Nothing was left to even suggest they'd almost died!

Dumbledore had gotten away with it in every way, shape and form. With the victims being the students and Ichigo and the Gang. My stomach sinking a little as I remember the extent of their injuries, the struggle Orihime seemed to have to stabilize them.

 _Merlin, Ichigo was burnt to a crisp...and Nel...oh Merlin, Nel._

It got so bad that at times I feel maybe I had imagined the whole thing, that it was all a figment of my screwed up psyche. I want to scream bloody murder and rip out all my long, black hair by its roots because like every other crucial event in my life, no one believes me! I was seen as a liar, trying to gain sympathy.

But that wasn't even the worst of it! No, because no one but I remember what happened, Lily and I's bonding and possible rekindlement of our friendship never happened! Once again she no longer looks in my direction, but if she did I'd get the familiar look of disdain and disgust was permanently burned back into her beautiful eyes.

 _Its final. Dumbledore is just some biase, hypocritical, senile old man...the Dark Lord was right. Joining him with Lucius would be the smartest thing after graduation..._

* * *

Slowly but surely my eyes open up to see the cobbled walls and arched ceilings of what had to be the Hospital Wings if the rows of white sheet covered cots and blue privacy screens. As his vision cleared so did his hearing as what once sounded like the adults in "Peanuts" become more distinct, more familiar.

"YOU BRING THAT FLEA-RIDDEN, ASS-LICKING SHIT MACHINE ON LEGS ANYWHERE NEAR ME AND I'LL SNAP ITS GODDAMNED NECK!" a scraggly voice hollered out

"Its cute! Why cants you be like Ulqui! He likes hims!" a child's voice rung out in response.

"I tolerate the the thing, I do not "like" it. I just see it offers no threat to anyone or anything that cannot be replaced with minimal effort and thus allow it to continue its insignificant life." a monotone voice said countering the previous notion of companionship.

"Better yet! Let me eat the lil' bastard! Better than these charcoaled remains!" the gruff voice said devilishly yet with a tinge of absolution implying he wasn't joking.

"PUT HIMS DOWN!"

"Ulquiorra-kun help!"

"Trash, please refrain from further injuring yourselves as I refuse to drag dead weight back into our dimension...and I can't leave you here to your own devices."

"Whipped much, Cuatra? Geez, first its Lord Bitchcurl, then its the Flamboyant Merlin doppleganger and now its Titsmaggie? Let me do you a favor and neuter you since you obviously don't want your balls!"

A loud yelp rang out and quickly accompanied by repetitive yipping, the clatter and rustle of sheets being thrown rapidly as well as the patter of tiny feet paddled across the floor at rapid speeds could be heard as well as a scuffle ensued.

"GET OFF ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" GIVE HIMS BACK!" NEL-CHAN, YOU SHOULDN'T BE UP!" TELL GRIMMY TO GIVE HIMS BACK!"

"COULD YOU SHUT UP!" I said as I clutched my head, feeling a major migraine approaching as I looked upon the perpetrators. It was quite the sight, to say the least.

Sitting up in a hospital bed was Grimmjow, his stomach heavily bandaged with a litany of scraps and scratches all over his chest and arms and face, his teeth clenched in agitation and pain as he struggled with his three adversaries. Lifted high in the air, held by the scruff of its neck, was a familiar troblemaking hollow hound wriggling and yipping at the blue-haired menace who was waving and wrenching him around wildly. The dog's tiny rear paws hitting and pushing against the Sexta cheek and bandaged forehead sporadically, like a off beat tapdance. Said man too busy trying to pull loose from the aquamarine haired child's torturous grip on his hair, one leg actually pushing against her stomach trying to hassen the process, to pay the pupper any real attention.

Nel wasn't looking that much better as with every shift, her robes lifted to reveal tight bandages and a very noticeable scar running up the side of her ribs running from the crux of her armpit to the rim of her pumpkin bloomers , where a blade obviously had been deeply embedded. As well as her voice sounding as if she'd been a chainsmoker for 17 years. All while this is going on Inoue decided to intervene in the chaos or attempted to intervene but, really only adding to the chaos. The Sexta shifting and lifting the pupper just out of Orihime's reach, whom was now laying on Grimmjow's lap stomach-first, like a human rug, her ass in the air provocative as she wiggled back and forth lunging for the tiny dog over and over again, only to fail.

"So, you seemed to have survived the fight with Yammy...though you did beat me so if you'd died you'd have shamed me as a warrior.

My eyes shoot right propped up by what looked like the softest pillows in the world, was Ulquiorra. The Sitting in a bed surrounded in all sorts of colorful, exotic flowers that seemed to sparkle and light up the drab room by 120%, as well as what had to be an army of stuffed animals all of which were either wishing a swift recovery or carrying some type of romantic connotation.

 _Can't say Lucius isn't persistent in his conquest._

The Fourth strangely looked the healthiest out of all four of us despite him blowing up right along side of me. Several burns adorning the man that were slowly healing with every passing second, as he casually read a heavy, ancient-looking book. I hear Grimmjow mutter angrily, "fuckin regenerative powers."

"Errrr…...how did we get here?" having racked my brain only to come up with nothing that'd explain Ulquiorra and I being alive, let alone being in the Infirmary healing up.

"I can answer that, my dear boy." a calm yet wise voice said admits the awkward silence

All eyes shot to the Infirmary doors, to see none other than the Headmaster walk in. His bright fusca-purple robes dragging across the floor as he approached the bedridden Bleach crew. His loafers the only sound in the infirmary, well besides Grimmjow's growls which were slowly becoming increasingly louder and louder.

"Well, Well...Well. If it isn't Dumbledore!? Look, Everyone! It's the asshole that single-handedly endangered all our lives!" Grimmjow spat, a vicious glare upon the wrinkled wizard as he dropped Nel and her canine companion, "How's it feel to know some kids that looked up to you, that you taught, died and then had their souls eaten? Man...not winning "Boss of the Year" for that kinda shit there?" He shoved Orihime off of him, "And I thought Aizen was a bastard, but at least he didn't hide his intents, he straight up told us, "Fail and your ass is mine"."

Grimmjow finnished his rant as he schoouched over to the end of the bed, making sure he could peer directly into the Headmaster's eyes, wanting him to see all the hate and destruction promised in his gaze..

"What's to stop me from using everything in my power to snap your fuckin' neck, you prune-looking, mouthball-smelling, unreliable, manipulating, BUTT FUCKER!?" some spit flying in dumbledore's face as the wizard hadn't moved a inch from the infuriated arrancar.

After a second of silence, Dumbledore got on his knees and bowed till his forehead hitting the dusty hard ground. "I cannot begin to ask for your forgiveness at what I have done nor the danger you were subjected to at my hands. However, all you did during our greatest hour of need as you all perilously risked your lives for my students and beloved school, is a debt I can never repay even if I were immortal. From the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you."

Grimmjow could only scratch his head awkwardly as the elderly headmaster remained bowing even after apologizing for his discretions toward all of them, which left him at a loss for words as no one's ever apologized to him. Begged? Yes. Apologized? No.

"Er...uh, shit dude...stop you don't need to apologize I mean...uhhh. Bitchigo! Help." Grimmjow pleaded, not sure how these things go or what to feel.

"Dumbledore-sama we appreciate your apology but, you had no idea this would've happened, Hell I was pretty sure Nnoitra was dead…(then again I thought that for Grimmjow)," Ichigo mumbled that last part to himself before he gingerly got out of bed, grimacing with every step till he pulled the elderly wizard back to his feet,"Beside it's the least we could do after everything you've done for us."

"And I did get to get one hell of a fight...and a chance to kill that transvestite rank-stealing shittalking Luppi...made him suffer the death shim deserved." a gruesome maniac grin spread over Grimmjow's face, his eyes glazed over as he relived the last moments of the fight.

"Yeah, it's the least we could do! I'm just so surprised the student don't hate us." Orihime said hesitantly, like she was waiting for a correction

"Of course not, Ulquiorra still has that sexually confused boy, Lucius, trying to jump his dick! Like damn!"

The previously dower mood evaporated as various the conversation carried on talking of funny events and happenings until Dumbledore excused himself, "I'd love to sit here and have rather pressing events to take care of but, rest up so you can truly enjoy the rest of your time at Hogwarts!" Dumbledore started walking out just before exiting added,"Oh! Grimmjow a certain bartender told me to he got a new shipment and would love to know the ending of the story involving Szayelaporro and a Phoenix potion, you by chance interested?"

The door shut but he clearly heard the "FUCK YEAH" joylessly shouted by the blue haired ruffian.

* * *

Remus knew something was...off, is how he'd sum it up because there were tons of thing amiss. For the past week he'd been gathered "evidence" that'd supported his general suspicions. The first being the paintings, their attitudes being more dowier than normal. Hell, the Fat Lady had been downright depressed every time they'd entered the tower, a sigh being released like she's expecting someone or people.

Then there's the smells, damn his nose sometimes! EVERYTHING SMELLED OF BLOOD AND ASH AND CHARRED FLESH! The worst place being the quidditch field, the place he'd been avoiding religiously like it was made of silver because the scent was too strong too potent to be there for even a second. Which brings him to the third thing that's been amiss since day one. The Quidditch game, the one that supposedly put James and Sirius in the Infirmary. Something about the Slytherins playing too rough or a big pile up as a result of brooms colliding.

Yet, their robes smelled of gunpowder, soot and ashes, like they'd been in some type of fire or explosion...it didn't add up, nothing added up but, no matter what or how long he thought about it he came up with a blank...l-"MOONEY!?"

"Wha!?" I look up to see Sirius invading my personal space immensely, his nose so close to my face I could feel puffs of air hitting my forehead.

"See Prongs? You really got to yell when he's stuck in LaLa Land, really belt it out." I look up to find James and Sirius, hovering over me in a very claustrophobic sort of way.

"We were asking whether you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with us, you know seeing as you now hate Quidditch ever since the last match we had against Slytherin," James frowned at mentioning the other house, "Or are you going to read that book all day?"

I looked at the book, this wasn't my book, it was someone named...Septima Higgs…strangely, that sparked something or pulled up that recurring feeling that something was terribly amiss here. I tried to remember the boy I obviously borrowed this from (I certainly would never take/ borrow anything with someones name on it without permission) but, I was drawing a complete a complete blank.

"James you know basically everyone in this school right?"

"Well, yeah from the bravest Gryffindor to the evilest Slytherin...why?"

"Who's Septima Higgs?" a feeling of anticipation overcame me at the thought I'd get an answer to what had seemed to become some giant conspiracy.

He stared at me blankly...what looked like a spark of recognition extinguished as soon as it sparked.

James shrugged,"maybe it's the previous owner that had it, that's second-hand remember? Unless, you've been a kleptomaniac that has a sudden case of amnesia?" A smile adorned his handsome face at his funny joke.

 _Was this second hand?...no, it- then again…_ my thoughts ran in a little circle as the sliver of a long forgotten memory of a...boy? _He was ginger...no, blond? Or was it a girl?_

A sort of static seemed to overtake Remus' brain unbeknownst to the owner, though. The thoughts/memories containing Septima Higgs blipping out of "existence" in a way, leaving the boy with the feeling or belief that they'd never been thunk up in the first place, like the memory original there was simply a figment of his imagination.

I shake my head, like I was trying to get lake water out of my ear, "wait...what were we talking about?"

Prongs and Padfoot thought long and hard, a confused look on their face as if they'd both forgotten the topic we'd been discussing not even 5 seconds ago.

"I think we...were wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with us?" Sirius asked for what I guess was the second time since the start of this conversation.

"Umm...yeah, sure. Why not?" I shove my book under my arm as we make a quick trek to our tower to pick up our junk.

Unbeknownst to all three wizards two paintings nearby sunk even further into a depressed mood as they shook their heads at the fact the boys had forgotten their Quidditch teammate of 5 straight years, and all the victory parties and inside jokes they'd once shared.

* * *

 **-LATER THAT NIGHT-**

Dumbledore sat at his desk finishing up the letter to Higgsums Family before hearing a knock.

"Hmmm? Come in."

In walked in the antithesis of the colorful, magic filled room. His green eyes scanning the room looking even more dis-interested than he usually was despite this being the first time he's been there.

"Ah! Ulquiorra my boy, what are you doing out of the Infirmary? You might be from another dimension but you still ne-""Why did you apologize to Sexta in the Infirmary?"

"Well, that's becau-""When we both know there was never any true danger of perishing. And you knew that, Dumbledore-sama." Ulquiorra's baritone voice rung out throughout the room, quieting the former headmasters paintings' ramblings about the odd looking man..

The elderly smile melted into one of understanding, the one one would've when knowing they've been caught in a lie.

"Now, how did you come to assume that? If you don't mind me asking." Dumbledore said as he waved his wand, the previous things littering his desk vanishing, him wanting to give Ulquiorra his undivided attention.

"Granted I must applaud the mastery of such tactical prowess **,** however that is to be expected as you've both held command and solidified yourself as a pure, if not holy, icon in the eyes of the public and your subordinates. As do many of the texts I've read within the library of Hogwarts and outside sources sing your praises. You've painted yourself as a humble all-loving man seeking to help not rule. Hence, you're motivation of turning down a high position of power within the unitary system of power ruling this dimension, further emphasizing the purity of your being and desires. You've made sure no one could or would desire to challenge you, thus my decision to become one of you pawns. Many would have written the tiny miscalculations I found as coincidencidental, but my eyes see all. Hence me being able to find several key points and players in this whole charade. The first incident, although at the time didn't occur to me, was from the second we woke up, in the infirmary in fact. Second, the Marauders and their "punishment". And lastly, Lucius Malfoy and his inability to withhold anything from me."

"When we first awoke, much to my displeasure, Onna was missing but how is that possible? Simple. She was never restrained despite her showing up with us because she presented little if no harm to anyone seeing as she is...well she's only restrained all possible threats within the "gang". Hence, restraining Nelliel seeing as she's the same species of me and Sexta, whom were the most combative during our first encounter. As well as Kurosaki as he was brandishing a weapon upon arrival. However, It wasn't a only a precaution, It was also a warning. Emphasizing your ability to give and take away our free will and that your powers dwarf just didn't factor in the extent of my regenerative abilities."

Ulquiorra paused, providing Dumbledore a chance to object or correct him. Seeing no objection he continued.

"Then, there's the Marauders and their punishment for skipping class for the spontaneous field trip to Hogsmeade. It was typical punishment given out however, your diction gave you away. The line, "for the greater good" and "take Ichigo with you in case of…especially rowdy spectators" implied you knew more than one would have in the situation or have an assumption that mayhem may happen during the sporting event."

"And finally, Lucius' unhealthy obsession with me and his his willingness to share everything with me (despite me not wanting it)" Ulquiorra mumbled that last part to himself.

"My suspicions were instantly raised from his general demeanor after the whole travesty, queuing that something was amiss. One clue was the nonchalant attitude he had over the condition of the castle, regardless of whether or not he calls this "home" he'd instinctively take advantage of the mayhem caused under your jurisdiction to his father in seconds. Exploitation is what Lucius Malfoy lives for, especially if the victim is a major social and political icon. The second was him mentioning a toast you did following the night of the Hollow attack. I believe he was complaining about needing to find a new book carrier as Tenebrus Jigger, a former 2nd year Hufflepuff, had moved schools."

"Which is surprising as Tenebrus Jigger is dead, head decapitated, blood spilled on the Quidditch field during the Hollow outbreak fiasco. That said, no trauma that great such as one witnessing mass genocide leaves on the mind is so forgettable. Even if some are capable, no one's mind is the identical. So the likelihood of over 150 different students completely forgot said tragedy in less than 48 hours is improbable, however a bit of lethe river water would rectify that. Instantaneously even."

"If I remember correctly it's said to possess magical properties which have caused many drinkers to forget things and if used correctly or at the hands of a great wizard could make people forget the entire existence of a person or persons, no matter how close the bond may have been."

Ulquiorra finished as a permanent hush fell over the room, silencing even the chattiest of the former headmasters. Dumbledore simply adjusted his spectacles upon his crooked nose, releasing a long sigh before looking at the Fourth, "I knew I couldn't fool you, I guess you deserve an explanation to everything. You might want to sit down...this is...difficult to explain and may take time to ex-"

"I'm dead. I neither need sleep, to relieve myself or eat...much. I have ample amount of time." Ulquiorra said, eyes boring into the Headmaster's as he took a seat.

Dumbledore got up slowly, heading around the room looking for something in the creatively, cluttered room instead of using his wand, leisurely strolling past Ulquiorra and rummaging through several drawers before finding the right one containing what he'd been looking for.

"I must say I'm quite flattered that you believe I can control fate but, no. No man has such an ability, even those claiming to be a deity. No, because If I could the deaths of so many students wouldn't have happened. No, no I simply tinker with several aspects to have more...favorable outcomes. I should've known you would see the ruse, Orihime's memories showed you possess exceptionary observation skills."

Dumbledore paused as he saw out the corner of his eye Ulquiorra bristle," I should've expected Lucius to both help and hinder my plan, "can't have your cake and eat it to" or whatever muggles were correct in some aspects, I did know something but not the magnitude or root of the attack, that would happen during the Quidditch game. I took James and Sirius out of the game because I needed Lucius to catch the Snitch, something which would save you and Ichigo's lives if I read Ichigo's memories correctly."

"As expected, you're proficient in Legilimency?" Ulquiorra said a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Comes in handy especially for those whom are tight lipped." Dumbledore said as he turned around with a heavily damaged Snitch." I've got to say, these things are quite nifty feature, are probably more efficient than an owl. He said pointing to what appeared to be a little hatch or opening on the destroyed sport equipment.

Dumbledore placed it on the table along with a blood-red letter, which he tapped with with his wand. Within an instant the the thing came to life, it folded in a way that it had a makeshift mouth and eyes out of it's slits.

Out of said mouth folds came Dumbledore's voice screaming at a hazardous volume, "AVIS!" before bursting into a blue flash, with it a tiny hummingbird flying out, do a quick twirl and land on Ulquiorra's horn.

"Not powerful or long-term but good for a long distance casting, for example reanimating certain suits of armor and stone." Dumbledore said happily, a smile on his face at seeing the miniature multicolor bird perch on the monotone Espada's head.

Only for the smile to disappear as Ulquiorra reached up and grab the fluttering being, snapping the bird's neck and a majority of its bones in his hand, "Please excuse my insubordination, but I'd appreciate if we stuck to the matter at hand. What of the Onna? Despite being placed with your more favored students, she and the marauders were in immense danger." Ulquiorra dropped the tiny corpse nonchalantly in the trash can that hovered over to him.

"Like I said, I'm not the wielder of fate and all its outcomes, I sought to protect her and the boys but, instead I placed them in greater danger. Their battle was by won their skills, survival instincts, and some confiscated liquid luck. The only hand I played was having a house elf slip a tiny thing into James' robes and if it wasn't for an intervention by Fawkes, I fear the outcome would've only end in the death of two exceptional wizards."

Dumbledore held out his arm as a bird that looked to be made of fire from seemingly nowhere fluttered down and perched on the Headmaster's robe sleeve. The thing arching somewhat as it enjoyed the scratching under its chin from its long-time master and friend.

"Phoenix. that explains why Kurosaki and I survive our suicidal move in our attempt in killing Yammy. Am I correct in that assumption?"

"You are quite perceptive, Ulquiorra."

"And what of the parents of those killed in the battle? Certainly the many families within the wizarding world won't take too kindly to their offspring, something humans tend to care quite a lot for, disappearing from Hogwarts in masses. Unless.." the Fourth trailed off, in thought

"Unless what Ulquiorra? Finish that thought because I have a feeling that you've already figured out the answer to said question."

"Unless, you've utilized your likely vast and many favors owed to you by some holder of a significant position of power in the Ministry to deal with the Muggle-born wizards...rudimentary, really. As well as for Purebloods I suppose?"

"Actually much simpler my dear boy, seeing as you gotten this far I'll give you a "freebie". Simply a few thought altering charms on the gate, seeing as you can't apparate onto the ground. Makes it easier than wiping several hundreds and thinking people can "zip their lips" if you get what I mean?"

"Better to have few if not zero confidants when it comes to the death of several dozen children." Ulquiorra said blankly yet with a smallest hint of malice.

"Now, you must be wondering why I put you-" Ulquiorra put up his hand stopping Dumbledore, "I simply came for an explanation of how, not why. Now, I must retire before any of the others realize I'm missing"

"Wait...Why didn't you expose me to the others in the infirmary? Why wait and see me in secret?"

Ulquiorra stopped, his back still to Dumbledore,"...Because like you I believe sometimes ignorance is bliss and a security blanket albeit it being riddled with holes is more beneficial than nothing at all. Speaking as a subordinate, I have no objection to how you've handled the situation however, speaking as a comrade, or how you seem to want to see this relationship, they're going to break. From what I read in the news, there's a "storm" coming. One that even a wizard of your caliber won't be able to wipe away with a sip of a goblet. And when it hits and you've continued to shelter the students of this school as you have they're going to crumble" Ulquiorra then dug into his pocket and pulled out a paper airplane, launching it toward the headmaster,"….have a good night, Dumbledore-sama."

With those final parting words,the door clicked shut leaving the Headmaster alone in total silence. Slowly, Dumbledore picked up the tiny neatly folded airplane that'd landed on his desk. The little thing was made of a single news clipping that'd been printed a mere two days ago by the Daily Prophet. The article was titled, "New regime rising, death toll rising among those deemed unpure or traitors of blood."

"*Hahhhhhh* You say that like I don't already know that," Dumbledore twisted around in his chair his fingers placed together, "tis times likes this I wish I could live ignorantly in the fragil bubble barely holding the innocence of this school's children together...heh heh..guess it's just another mistake I'll have to bare."

* * *

"*WAAAAAAAHHHHH* b-b-but Nel d-d-donts want to leave Hogwarts! *WAAAAAAAHHHHHH*"

Nel cried as she buried her face into Grimmjow's shoulder, her snot and tears soaking the Six's jacket. Upon her back was a generously donated hardy sack enchanted with an extension charm that bore a good 3/4th of Honeydukes' inventory which the owner selflessly donated with his only request being she never step foot in his establishment again.

"Let's fucking bail already! We stay here anything longer my nuts will be bluer than my hair." Grimmjow yelled back at the others as he walked out the castle mumbling about underage schoolgirls and traps. He like his companion had been given a parting gift albeit struggling a bit as he juggled carrying both an excited pupper and a box full of liquor of all kinds under each arm. He nodded at Aberworth, who'd made the trip up to see his lovely drinking buddy off.

Ichigo quickly carried another crate full of health potions, making it his third jam packed crate as he said his hundredth thank you to Dumbledore and the Marauders for all the hospitality and adventures they'd shared with him and the others.

There wasn't a dry eye in the crowd, the girls because three hunks were leaving, the boys because a big breasted babe was leaving their dimension. However, none were taking it harder than one Slytherin Prefect.

"TAKE ME WITH YOU! I SWEAR I'LL BEHAVE, STAY OUT OF YOUR WAY! I DON'T NEED TO EAT MUCH, I SWEAR! I'LL BE A MUTE EVEN, GRIMMJOW NEEDS A PUNCHING BAG RIGHT!? I'LL WORSHIP THE GROUND YOU WALK ON! **I'M A WRECK WITHOUT YOU!** "

Lucius screamed and begged as he latched onto Ulquiorra's leg, being dragged belly-first across the extensive Hogwarts lawn as his "goddess" continued on, not batting an eye and making sure to go over the gravelly, jagged rocked sections extra slowly.

"Remaining here as well as allowing you to accompany us as we return to our dimension would be illogical and impractical...plus, I really just don't want to. Now, if you'd so kindly remove yourself from my being so I may leave and very likely betray my previous master, I'd very much appreciate it. However, knowing the extent and superior medical services existing in this dimension I will not hesitate to use force." Ulquiorra said as he blankly store at the teenage blond whose infatuation bordered on obsessive now.

"Blimey...Lucius! Let the bloke go." Rosier said tiredly, as he slowly jogged over with a teary Regulus and bitter Severus, to retrieve his friend who still believed the Fourth to be a girl (or knew and just in denial of which way he swung in life). "Sorry Ulquiorra...um...I'm going to miss yah...ya know?" Rosier gave him a quick pat on the back as Severus and Regulus struggled loosen Lucius's ironclad grip.

Rosier chuckled as all he received from his statement was the iconic Ulquiorra stare that bores into ones soul, and patted him roughly on the back before aiding his other two friends with the red-eyed, snotty nosed, disheveled haired prefect.

Ulquiorra couldn't help but sigh before reaching up to his right eye, his fingers digging into the socket. The four slytherin watched in horror as Ulquiorra unflinchingly wrenched his eye from it's socket leaving behind a nothing but a bleeding hollow hole in his head. Completely ignoring the fact that In the distance he could hear Regulus violently vomiting up everything in his stomach, Ulquiorra dropped the eyeball in the stupefied Lucius' hand.

"A...momento to remember me by as humans seem to hold sentimental value in the most irrelevant and insignificant objects...I didn't find...your companionship to be entirely...worthless nor would I not...have wanted it to happen." the emotionless Fourth seemed to struggle to express himself, "I don't deem any of your existences as a waste of time, space or resources."

Ulquiorra patted Lucius upon the head before he headed to join the others, rubbing it much like how'd he'd seen Nel show affection to her animal companion when it would bring stuff to her. Ulquiorra purposely ignored the moan Lucius released and may have "accidentally" punted him in the gut as he trudged away from the green-robed quartet.

"Unconventional...but that's a proclamation of love if I've ever seen one." Lucius said as he looked lovingly at the eye, like it was a diamond instead of a organ.

"Blimey, you need help." Rosier said, his whole body cringing as Lucius rubbed the eye against his cheek

* * *

As all five of our dimension-hopping heroes looked into the swirling vortex, all not really sure if what they were entering would actually take them home. All staring unblinkingly into the pitch black wormhole with a mixture of emotions. However, before any of them could take the brave first step in they were pulled out of their apprehensive standstill by Lily running over with the marauders (minus Peter) in tow.

"Wait! Before you guys leave!" the orange-haired witch yelled to the heavens, hoping she wasn't too late. She came to a screeching stop in front of them, a camera held in front of her as all four kids gasped for breath.

"One pic...so you never forget us...if you want," Lily said hesitantly as all she received for her suggestion were blank stares from three of the five.

"YES!" Orihime screamed in joy as she tugged Ulquiorra over to a spot where they'd catch the castle in the background.

"Come on Grimmy!" Nel said yanking at the man's blue locks and pointing to where she wanted to stand.

"okay, shit...not like I have a damn choice." Grimmjow said with a lack of venom before perking up as he saw Aberforth walking toward them.

Just as they had all just gotten in position, Sirius saw out the corner of his eye Regulus and his 3 lackeys staring forlornly at them.

"SIGH*...get over here and get in this picture." Sirius quickly hide the tiny smile he received as the 4 seemed to brighten up at the invitation. Their green wizard robes fluttering in the wind as they rushed over like bats out of hell.

 ***FLASH***

To anyone else the picture would of seemed out of place bordering on wrong even, but to those 14 on that midday in June it was perfect.

Normal was the sight of a blue-haired ruffian downing one last cold one with what had to be Dumbledore's clone, both men drinking like a man left in the dessert for 10 years. No one bat an eye that a Gryffindor was ruffling the hair of their Slytherin brother in a loving way instead of the usual aggressive/vindictive manner.

Common was the blond Malfoy heir standing way too close for comfort next to a morose looking man, the boy's hesitantly placed arm on said man's shoulder as if the blond was worried he'd rip his limb from his body for said discretion.

Nothing unique in a ragged looking werewolf-in-disguise having the wind hugged out of him by a little girl with an exotic bone headgear.

Mundane was the hooked nosed boy and Rosier heir laughing together as they watched a ginger hair swordsman attempting to pry a skull-faced dog off the leg of Gryffindor's star seeker

It was a day-to-day sight two ginger haired beauties standing in front, flashing peace-signs while surrounded by six miniature, winged beings.

And they stepped through.

* * *

 **Omitted scenes (just for you guys): originally Ulquiorra was going to reveal everything with the gang there but I changed it...HOWEVER here's the dialogue and junk that I was going to delete but thought hey, you guys might like to see it. So here's some dialogue and junk.**

* * *

 **Original Hospital scene #1**

"Er...uh, shit dude...stop you don't need to apologize I mean c-"For once you'd be correct, Sexta, as we were never in any true danger of perishing. And you knew that, Dumbledore-sama." a familiar baritone voice called out.

"What the hell you talking about, Ulquiorra? I know you live to kiss authority's ass but, even you're not so brainwashed to see the Merlin-looking motherfucker put our asses on the line?! You blew the fuck up!" Grimmjow said pointing at me then Ulquiorra.

"That's my doing, not Dumbledore-sama's, that ended up putting Kurosaki's and my life in danger. May I present my evidence that validates my claim, my lord?" Ulquiorra said to the now standing Dumbledore.

"Have a go at it! Please tell me, how I manipulated all of this?" Dumbledore said jollily as he summoned up a chair, his attention solely on Ulquiorra's theory.

"Granted I must applaud the mastery of such tactical prowess **,** however that is to be expected as you've both held command and solidified yourself as a pure, if not holy, icon in the eyes of the public and your subordinates. As do many of the texts I've read within the library of Hogwarts and outside sources sing your praises. You've painted yourself as a humble all-loving man seeking to help not rule. Hence, you're motivation of turning down a high position of power within the unitary system of power ruling this dimension, further emphasizing the purity of your being and desires. You've made sure no one could or would desire to challenge you, thus my decision to become one of you pawns. Many would've written the tiny miscalculations I found as coincidencidental, but my eyes see all. Hence me being able to find several key points and players in this whole charade. The first incident, although at the time didn't occur to me, was from the second we woke up, in this very infirmary in fact. Second, the Marauders and their "punishment". And lastly, Lucius Malfoy and his inability to withhold anything from me."

Ulquiorra paused letting everything he'd just said sink into our brains, which I can't say were even comprehending everything he'd just said.

"When we first awoke, much to my displeasure, Onna was missing but how is that possible? Simple. She was never restrained despite her showing up with us because she presented little if no harm to anyone seeing as she is...well she's only restrained all possible threats within the "gang". Hence, restraining Nelliel seeing as she's the same species of me and Sexta, whom were the most combative during our first encounter. As well as Kurosaki as he was brandishing a weapon upon arrival. However, It wasn't a only a precaution, It was also a warning. Emphasizing your ability to give and take away our free will and that your powers dwarf just didn't factor in the extent of my regenerative abilities."

"Then, there's the Marauders and their punishment for skipping class for the spontaneous field trip to Hogsmeade. It was typical punishment given out however, your diction gave you away. The line, "for the greater good" and "take Ichigo with you in case of…especially rowdy spectators" implied you knew more than one would have in the situation or have an assumption that mayhem may happen during the sporting event."

"Wait a minute...Yeah! You knew a fuck ton of things about Hueco Mundo and Soul Society. You read our fuckin minds without asking asshole!" Grimmjow yelled remembering the conversation they had in their temporary residence.

The room seemed to fill with more and more negative energy the longer Ulquiorra went on, the more his conspiracy seemed to become truth and the facade Dumbledore originally had in their brains seemed to peel away.

"And finally, Lucius' unhealthy obsession with me and his his willingness to share everything with me (despite me not wanting it)" Ulquiorra mumbled that last part to himself as Grimmjow released a loud "Ha!"

* * *

 _Omitted dialogue #2: after big reveal in the infirmary_

" **Hell...I mean damn...that's just...fuuuuucccck!" grimmjow said dragging a hand down his face in exasperation, " Well, rather work under a manipulative mastermind than some flower-picking, baby-kissing senile old man with an over powered stick. "Buuuut, I did get one hell of a fight...and a chance to kill that transvestite rank-stealer Luppi...annnnd I've basically been manipulated my whole existence...So, meh." Grimmjow said as he fell back, his head hitting the pillows at the head of the gurney.**

" **I just further applaud you as a leader, Dumbledore-sama, and can't find a reason for contempt as I gained significant knowledge in a previously unknown subject and concept. Plus, I was able to finally and brutally murder Yammy after many years of simply fantasizing about said act." Ulquiorra said nonchalantly like always.**

" **Uggh...We-we're going home. That's...we're going back to our world and we all survived that's all that matters...that's all that matters." Ichigo said in a semi-defeated tone still not able to cope with being strung along for the entire time they'd spent his temple he sunk back into his pillows, feeling a headache coming on.**

 **Nel just silently hugged her newly acquired pet hollow puppy, her eyes upon the ground as Orihime picked them both up setting them on her lap as she just thought of the last battle and all those lost that won't even be remembered because of one drink.**

 **Grimmjow- oh! That's why they still can stand the sights of us. Cause if i was them I'd be fuckin pissed that we...well more like ass-kisser over there didn't save my his precious students.**


End file.
